Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Chronicles of Heero Yui ❯ Day 1: Assasination of Death ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito 
Unofficial Day One in the life of Heero Yui: Lady, Names, Boogers, and the Newbies. God spare us all.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 10.09.2003 | Updated On: 10.09.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 954 | Status: Completed
Unofficial Day One in the life of Heero Yui: Lady, Names, Boogers, and the Newbies. God spare us all.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 10.09.2003 | Updated On: 10.09.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 954 | Status: Completed
Chronicles of Heero Yui
Day One: Assassination of Death
By: Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito
October 2003
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and Sailor Moon are copyright their original owners. All standard disclaimers apply. Idea taken from "The Chronicles of Lucius" by Fyrie.
Dedication: To all the rather insane authors around here. Join the club!
Head Notes: Hmm, I'm afraid that my imagination has run away with me once again. Please forgive me for some profanity, insanely hilarious and out of character comments, and whatnot.
October 1
Preventor Headquarters
3:00AM
Dammit! Haven't those stupid officers prancing around in their Boy Scout uniforms at the Preventor Headquarters know the idea of sleeping?! Shit, it's three-fucking-o'clock in the freaking morning. I've had zero hours of bloody sleep! Dammit!! Note to self, must kill Quatre's British diplomats. Diplomatic immunity my ass. Who says they can't just "mysteriously" disappear one night and never return? But then Quatre would know it was me Ahhh, the British. Delightful folk, don't you think? Their concept of swearing has started to rub off on me. Honestly. Who the hell thought of cursing as saying the word bloody? If that was the case, I'd rather start taking my anger out on killing people and causing people to actually be bloody than actually taking it out on a cursing fit of swears. Oh wait. I already do that. Pardon me. Or would it be pardon moi? Waiiittt a second. That's French. Excuse-moi!
Oh look here comes Lady Une. Who has a cup of very appealing coffee in her hand right now. Yet does not go out of her way to offer the colonies saviors something which will wake them up better. Humph. Lady my ass. Is that even her real name? I mean, who would honestly name their kid "Lady"? I'd pity the poor child who actually got cursed with a name like that. Me being one of those children who got pitied as well. I know that I was named after the real Heero Yui, but who goes around naming their kid Heero? Freaking hell. For one, people have no idea how to pronounce the word properly. Hee-ro? Heh-ro? Hear-o? Get the stupid name right. Damn damn damn
Well the Commander of the Preventors has now sat in her comfy and plushy looking swivel chair, while we, the brave and courageous Gundam pilots settle for the wooden seats with no cushioning. My ass is going to be numb and sore by the time were finished here. Because all she does is talk and talk you'd think she'd get the idea that we've already hacked into the main computer accounts and assessed all the upcoming missions. But nooo we have to sit and listen to her yap again Voice is droning. Hmm, eww she has something in her nose I've never noticed how big Une's nose is until now It's very big and upturned. Ever heard of a nose hair plucker? Neither have I, but if there was something like that I'd recommend it to her for usage. Ew that the hell am I thinking? I blame it on the lack of sleep. No sleep makes me act funny. And it's three am. I may be the Perfect Solider, but I do need to rest my eyes and drift into an REM stage once in a while Oh, embracing darkness calls to me like coffee No, not death, idiot. Hmm Coffee
Oh crap. Duo's looking at me strangely. My ever so monotonous mask has slipped a bit. But you gotta admit, I look damn hot with it. Especially with my glare. Don't you dare think that I haven't noticed the others looking at me. And my glare. Hooo booy! Evil death glare has been perfected. Hotness galore factor has tripled every time I use it. Hehe. It's my secret weapon. One look at my enemies and bam, they double back to look again at my glorious face. Unfortunately, I have to kill them later one, but it does good on one's ego to be appreciated as such a "hunk" Duo would say. And my hair! Goddamn! Don't you think that my tousled goldilocks (or rather, brownilocks) are amazing? Not to mention my ass. Which is in tip top physical condition I must add. Mwahahaha. But I must hint to Quatre to get that new pectoral shaping product I saw on the telly. Aghh! Television!!! Bloody British
Speaking of my ass, it is currently going numb and all the hard work I did to get it in this shape is going down the drain. Maybe I should ask Duo to kick it later to get the nerves working again. But then he would look at me or rather, I should say, my beautifully sculpted buttocks and then swoon. Yes, Duo is a materafactly gay. Not that I have anything against it, but still It's good to know that my charms lie with both the male and female gender. Bwahahaha.
Ohhh Une is commenting about how she's called in help. Well of course she would need help. I'd recommend her to the nearest asylum, but it would be rude of me to say so aloud. Then again, very out of character for me as well. Oh woe is me! No one knows the true, conniving, devious, and incredibly hot Heero Yui. Well, maybe the last one. Because I am hot. Bwahahaha.
Ohhh, so Une thinks that we can't handle this mission by ourselves now, does she? Wufei is looking rather ticked. I don't see why he puts so much energy in displaying his emotions when he can look hot. Like me. See? His face gets all scrunched up and glaring. Not to mention his eyebrows make me mad. Notice the lacking of undergrowth hair beneath the brow. He plucks them no doubt. Tee hee! I have discovered your secret, justice seeker!
Ohhhh! So she's bring in woman to help us on this mission, is she now? Well damn her. I can handle this mission as a man. A MAN I tell you!! Oh wait. They aren't going to actually be helping us on the mission apparently. The people who she is bringing in are just tagging along. Because they have no observe how the professionals do it themselves. Jesus Christ. Note to self: must shook Une at first ample opportunity. How could she think of sending the newbies with us?
And I'm still tired Coffeeeeeeee
3:55AM
Blah blah blah. Look at me! I'm Commander Une and talk a lot!! Shuuuttt uppp!!! But must retain calm composure. Because is would be very un-Perfect Solider ish to do such a this.
4:35AM
Tempting oh so tempting Damn her to hell! Just shut up! Spare us, please!!
...
Coffee.
Quatre's Estate
3:00PM
Must refrain from shooting the newbies
I am never going to get married. I never realized how much woman actually spend talking. They're more like rabid and forever screeching budgies. The blonde one the short blonde one wait, they both are short. Okay, the short blonde, blue eyed hottie with the craziest hairstyle I have ever seen is arguing with a black haired girl. Correction on description of latter woman. Black haired woman with steam coming out of her ears greatly impersonating Wufei. Do you know how hard is it to accomplish that task?
Anyway, who wears their hairstyle in balls? And how the hell does she manage to keep it in that shape! I do not know many people who happen to be Japanese at the same time as well. Just a little too weird in the genetic pool for my tastes. Hot though extremely hot. Maybe even a person worthy of staring at my perfect ass.
Oh wait, too late. She already is. Hey hey hey! Who says I gave permission to look? Oh but if you insist
Anyway, that does not block the fact that she keeps on talking. Or rather, screaming at the black haired chick. Shuuuttt uppppp.!! I haven't had any bloody sleep yet!! Ack, reverting to British talk. Shoot Quatre, shoot Quatreor rather: shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats. Shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats...
Oh dinner's ready. Yet they keep on arguing. Loudly. Oh my ears. I am never going to accept an assignment from Une again. Damn the newbies. Couldn't they have chosen a career in a different working area? They look to uhh, delicate to be doing the grunt work of the Preventors. If they chose a job in the "stripping" industry though I would be more than happy to lend my services, of course. I can see blondie in a bunny suit and ears Merry Christmas to you to, Santa Clause.
Oh Quatre cooked dinner. Smells good too Smells more than good. okay fine! he can live for now. His lifeline is being judged by his cooking capacity. Oh what a sad world we live in!
Duo and blondie seem to be digging into the meal. Oh lovely. Why don't we all just argue over pieces of chicken now? Quatre is motioning to another plate of chicken. Wow. Blondie eats a lot. wait, did she just steal my steak?
Will continue mentally tallying up my shit list tomorrow. For I need to sleep. Well, eat first, then sleep and then make sure that the blonde one takes a look at my perfect butt. Will ask the blonde one her name tomorrow. For she shall remain anonymous in my dreams tonight
End of Entry
LOL! My craziness has done a little overtime tonight. Please review!
Let insanity ensue, Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito
Day One: Assassination of Death
By: Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito
October 2003
* * * * * * * * * *
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and Sailor Moon are copyright their original owners. All standard disclaimers apply. Idea taken from "The Chronicles of Lucius" by Fyrie.
Dedication: To all the rather insane authors around here. Join the club!
Head Notes: Hmm, I'm afraid that my imagination has run away with me once again. Please forgive me for some profanity, insanely hilarious and out of character comments, and whatnot.
* * * * * * * * * *
October 1
Preventor Headquarters
3:00AM
Dammit! Haven't those stupid officers prancing around in their Boy Scout uniforms at the Preventor Headquarters know the idea of sleeping?! Shit, it's three-fucking-o'clock in the freaking morning. I've had zero hours of bloody sleep! Dammit!! Note to self, must kill Quatre's British diplomats. Diplomatic immunity my ass. Who says they can't just "mysteriously" disappear one night and never return? But then Quatre would know it was me Ahhh, the British. Delightful folk, don't you think? Their concept of swearing has started to rub off on me. Honestly. Who the hell thought of cursing as saying the word bloody? If that was the case, I'd rather start taking my anger out on killing people and causing people to actually be bloody than actually taking it out on a cursing fit of swears. Oh wait. I already do that. Pardon me. Or would it be pardon moi? Waiiittt a second. That's French. Excuse-moi!
Oh look here comes Lady Une. Who has a cup of very appealing coffee in her hand right now. Yet does not go out of her way to offer the colonies saviors something which will wake them up better. Humph. Lady my ass. Is that even her real name? I mean, who would honestly name their kid "Lady"? I'd pity the poor child who actually got cursed with a name like that. Me being one of those children who got pitied as well. I know that I was named after the real Heero Yui, but who goes around naming their kid Heero? Freaking hell. For one, people have no idea how to pronounce the word properly. Hee-ro? Heh-ro? Hear-o? Get the stupid name right. Damn damn damn
Well the Commander of the Preventors has now sat in her comfy and plushy looking swivel chair, while we, the brave and courageous Gundam pilots settle for the wooden seats with no cushioning. My ass is going to be numb and sore by the time were finished here. Because all she does is talk and talk you'd think she'd get the idea that we've already hacked into the main computer accounts and assessed all the upcoming missions. But nooo we have to sit and listen to her yap again Voice is droning. Hmm, eww she has something in her nose I've never noticed how big Une's nose is until now It's very big and upturned. Ever heard of a nose hair plucker? Neither have I, but if there was something like that I'd recommend it to her for usage. Ew that the hell am I thinking? I blame it on the lack of sleep. No sleep makes me act funny. And it's three am. I may be the Perfect Solider, but I do need to rest my eyes and drift into an REM stage once in a while Oh, embracing darkness calls to me like coffee No, not death, idiot. Hmm Coffee
Oh crap. Duo's looking at me strangely. My ever so monotonous mask has slipped a bit. But you gotta admit, I look damn hot with it. Especially with my glare. Don't you dare think that I haven't noticed the others looking at me. And my glare. Hooo booy! Evil death glare has been perfected. Hotness galore factor has tripled every time I use it. Hehe. It's my secret weapon. One look at my enemies and bam, they double back to look again at my glorious face. Unfortunately, I have to kill them later one, but it does good on one's ego to be appreciated as such a "hunk" Duo would say. And my hair! Goddamn! Don't you think that my tousled goldilocks (or rather, brownilocks) are amazing? Not to mention my ass. Which is in tip top physical condition I must add. Mwahahaha. But I must hint to Quatre to get that new pectoral shaping product I saw on the telly. Aghh! Television!!! Bloody British
Speaking of my ass, it is currently going numb and all the hard work I did to get it in this shape is going down the drain. Maybe I should ask Duo to kick it later to get the nerves working again. But then he would look at me or rather, I should say, my beautifully sculpted buttocks and then swoon. Yes, Duo is a materafactly gay. Not that I have anything against it, but still It's good to know that my charms lie with both the male and female gender. Bwahahaha.
Ohhh Une is commenting about how she's called in help. Well of course she would need help. I'd recommend her to the nearest asylum, but it would be rude of me to say so aloud. Then again, very out of character for me as well. Oh woe is me! No one knows the true, conniving, devious, and incredibly hot Heero Yui. Well, maybe the last one. Because I am hot. Bwahahaha.
Ohhh, so Une thinks that we can't handle this mission by ourselves now, does she? Wufei is looking rather ticked. I don't see why he puts so much energy in displaying his emotions when he can look hot. Like me. See? His face gets all scrunched up and glaring. Not to mention his eyebrows make me mad. Notice the lacking of undergrowth hair beneath the brow. He plucks them no doubt. Tee hee! I have discovered your secret, justice seeker!
Ohhhh! So she's bring in woman to help us on this mission, is she now? Well damn her. I can handle this mission as a man. A MAN I tell you!! Oh wait. They aren't going to actually be helping us on the mission apparently. The people who she is bringing in are just tagging along. Because they have no observe how the professionals do it themselves. Jesus Christ. Note to self: must shook Une at first ample opportunity. How could she think of sending the newbies with us?
And I'm still tired Coffeeeeeeee
3:55AM
Blah blah blah. Look at me! I'm Commander Une and talk a lot!! Shuuuttt uppp!!! But must retain calm composure. Because is would be very un-Perfect Solider ish to do such a this.
4:35AM
Tempting oh so tempting Damn her to hell! Just shut up! Spare us, please!!
...
Coffee.
* * * * * * * * * *
Quatre's Estate
3:00PM
Must refrain from shooting the newbies
I am never going to get married. I never realized how much woman actually spend talking. They're more like rabid and forever screeching budgies. The blonde one the short blonde one wait, they both are short. Okay, the short blonde, blue eyed hottie with the craziest hairstyle I have ever seen is arguing with a black haired girl. Correction on description of latter woman. Black haired woman with steam coming out of her ears greatly impersonating Wufei. Do you know how hard is it to accomplish that task?
Anyway, who wears their hairstyle in balls? And how the hell does she manage to keep it in that shape! I do not know many people who happen to be Japanese at the same time as well. Just a little too weird in the genetic pool for my tastes. Hot though extremely hot. Maybe even a person worthy of staring at my perfect ass.
Oh wait, too late. She already is. Hey hey hey! Who says I gave permission to look? Oh but if you insist
Anyway, that does not block the fact that she keeps on talking. Or rather, screaming at the black haired chick. Shuuuttt uppppp.!! I haven't had any bloody sleep yet!! Ack, reverting to British talk. Shoot Quatre, shoot Quatreor rather: shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats. Shoot Quatre and the wanking diplomats...
Oh dinner's ready. Yet they keep on arguing. Loudly. Oh my ears. I am never going to accept an assignment from Une again. Damn the newbies. Couldn't they have chosen a career in a different working area? They look to uhh, delicate to be doing the grunt work of the Preventors. If they chose a job in the "stripping" industry though I would be more than happy to lend my services, of course. I can see blondie in a bunny suit and ears Merry Christmas to you to, Santa Clause.
Oh Quatre cooked dinner. Smells good too Smells more than good. okay fine! he can live for now. His lifeline is being judged by his cooking capacity. Oh what a sad world we live in!
Duo and blondie seem to be digging into the meal. Oh lovely. Why don't we all just argue over pieces of chicken now? Quatre is motioning to another plate of chicken. Wow. Blondie eats a lot. wait, did she just steal my steak?
Will continue mentally tallying up my shit list tomorrow. For I need to sleep. Well, eat first, then sleep and then make sure that the blonde one takes a look at my perfect butt. Will ask the blonde one her name tomorrow. For she shall remain anonymous in my dreams tonight
* * * * * * * * * *
End of Entry
LOL! My craziness has done a little overtime tonight. Please review!
Let insanity ensue, Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito