Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Could It Be Any Harder ❯ Regrets And Forgiveness ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Could It Be Any Harder

Disclaimer: Don't own characters
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Chapter 3: Regrets And Forgiveness

His eyes snapped opened at the sound of his name. He turned his head and saw Usagi sitting next to him. His first instinct was to pull out his gun and shoot her but he stopped. He didn't know why he didn't just kill her on the spot. /I must be going soft/.

"Heero, I just want to talk," Usagi said softly. She reached out to touch his face but caught herself in time and she dropped her hand into her lap.

"What's there to talk about?" Heero replied harshly. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.

Usagi stiffened when she heard his reply. "You're right. There's nothing to talk about." She stood up and was about to walk away when Heero called out.

"Usa...Usagi, matte."

She turned to look at him but made no other move.

Heero looked into her eyes which were once sparkling with happiness but now were as emotionless as his own. He inwardly winced as he realised he was the cause of it. "Why are you doing this?"

"Why? Why?!" Usagi screamed. "You should know why! You left me, Heero! You left me alone when you promised you wouldn't leave me!" Heero saw the tears gathering in her eyes but they didn't fall. "Do you know how much it hurts when somebody you love with all your heart abandons you, Heero? Do you? Answer me, goddammit!"

Each word she said struck him to the core of his being. He could feel the pain and hurt radiating off her. He stood up and hugged her tightly.

That broke the dam. Her tears fell freely upon her face. She clutched Heero's tank top and cried into his chest. Heero didn't know what else to do so he just held her and stroked her hair, trying to soothe the distressed girl.

"I'm sorry, Usa-chan," Heero whispered into her ear. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm not worthy of your love. You deserved better than a killer."

Usagi looked up from his chest and pushed him away forcefully. "You baka!" she cried and punched him in the stomach.

Heero doubled over in pain from the force of the blow. /When the hell did she get so strong?/ But before he could react, his lips were captured by hers. His hands encircled her waist and he kissed back with all the passion he had for her. Their tongues sparred and fought for dominance over the other. When they parted, both panted heavily.

"Hee-kun no baka. I don't want anyone else but you. I don't care if you killed. You did that because you had to. I've done things which I'm not so proud of either when I went looking for you."

"What did you do, Usa-chan? Tell me, onegai," Heero asked gently. He guided her to the bench and they sat on it, pulling Usagi into his embrace.

"When you left, I was heartbroken and I tried to kill myself." Usagi felt Heero tensing. "But you can see I'm alive. After two weeks, I went searching for you but I couldn't find a trace of you anywhere. I thought you were dead. So then I went to Earth and stumbled upon a man called J."

"You met Dr. J?" Heero asked suddenly.

"Hai. He was the one that trained me."

"Trained you?"

"Hai. You didn't think I became this good on my own, did you? Anyway, he trained me for a while and then I left when I had learnt all I could. Two months ago, I joined OZ."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I heard they had found the Gundam pilots, and I joined in hope that I could see you again that you might not be dead," she said softly. She avoided his gaze as she spoke.

He tilted up her face so he could look into her cerulean blue orbs. They shimmered with pain and unshed tears. He kissed her lips softly, trying to rid her of her pain. Pain that he had caused her, he realised. He was such a fool to think he could protect her by leaving. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

They held each other for what seemed like eternity, content with simply being near the other. Heero broke away reluctantly, knowing they couldn't stay like that forever. He knew that the others were probably worried about him and they would also have many questions for him. "Usa-chan, where are you staying?"

Usagi looked thoughtful for a moment. "I need to go back to the OZ base."

"What?! Why?!"

"I have to, Hee-kun. They knew the Gundam pilots identities. That's how I knew where you lived. They're planning something but I don't know what and I intend to find out."

"It's too dangerous for you," he reasoned. He spoke calmly despite the fear he felt in letting her go again.

Usagi pulled back slightly and brushed her lips against him. "Don't worry, Hee-kun. I can take care of myself. I'm not the helpless girl I once was. You don't need to protect me anymore. I must tell you the truth, Hee-kun," she spoke suddenly, looking very serious.

"Nani?"

"I've done bad things in the time we've been apart. I'm not proud of them and I haven't forgiven myself for doing those things. I hoped that if you forgave me, then I might be able to forgive myself one day," she finished. She averted her eyes, looking everywhere except his face.

"Usa-chan, look at me," Heero said softly.

Usagi brought her gaze towards his finely chiselled face but still refused to meet his eyes.

He touched her face gently. Her skin felt so soft against his fingertips as he rubbed her cheek. "Usa-chan, I did things that were unforgiveable but you forgave me. Please tell me what happened and just know that I could never hate you. Aishiteru."

Usagi gave him a small smile. "Arigato, Hee-kun. It means a lot to me." She continued on a little hesitantly. "I have hurt many innocent people but I have not killed directly."

Heero did not fail to notice the double meaning in her words. "I understand, Usa-chan, and there is nothing to forgive. I'm glad you didn't kill like I did. The guilt would be heavy to bear."

"Arigato, Hee-kun," she hugged him gratefully. She, then, released him and stood up. "I must be going now, Hee-kun. Don't worry, I'll be fine and I'll see you again soon," she added when she saw his reluctance to let her go back. "Please tell your friends I am sorry for my actions."

"I will, Usa-chan. How can I contact you?"

Usagi shook her head. "Iie, Hee-kun. I will contact you instead." with that she disappeared into the trees.

*End Chap 3*

AN: There goes another chapter. Wheee! I'm really happy now ^_^ I have a request for all of you. Please join my Yahoo Group *using the patented puppy dog eyes*. Right now it only has a very small number so please join. You can also use it as a discussion room as long as it is related to Anime. Yahoo Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chibi_shampsfics