Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Pilots Survive "SURVIVOR" ❯ Family Jewels ( Chapter 8 )

Zechs points his camera at Heero and Duo and a laser shoots out BARELY missing them.

Duo: GAAH!! The hell?!

Heero gets his gun back and fires at Zechs. Zechs uses the laser and completely destroys the machine gun.

Heero: Shit...and I left all my self-detonation devices at home.

Duo: THAT'S at first.

Heero: You got to have one in your pocket.

Duo: You mean GIANT POCKET!!

Heero: *arches brow* Whatever.

Duo: Nope, dun got one.

Heero: You sure?

Duo: Heero, buddy, have I eva been wrong?

Trowa: That's a dumb question.

Wufei: He doesn't even have to answer that.

Duo: Ack...uh nevermind just delete that!

Heero: I wish I could delete you.

Duo: Damn! Why are you all against me?

Wufei: You really want us to answer that one too?

Quatre: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Everyone else: *gasp*

Quatre: Whoa was that out of character. Peace! Peace! Peace! ^^v

Duo: Rei, be a good sis and help muh!

Rei: Why?

Duo: C'mon! Please?

Rei: Neh.

Duo: Then tell me this; what do you mean family jewels? I don't get it. Wufei has family jewels?

Rei: *sweatdrop* Yea....

Duo: I don't get it.

Rei: You have them too ya know.

Duo: I do?

Rei: *twitch* I should hope so...for your own sake. *gets evil idea and grins* Every guy has family jewels, Duo. Some guys have bigger ones than others. Tell me, Duo *grin* Who do you think has the biggest?

Wufei: Woman! What are you trying to pull?!

Rei: *looking innocent* Just curious is all.

Duo: The biggest? Quatre! I mean c'mon! The guy's so full of riches his jewels have gotta be huge!

Zechs had to put the camera down on a rock for he wasn't able to keep the camera still since he was laughing so hard. Him and Rei were practically leaning on eachother, which was the only thing that prevented them from falling on the sand.

Rei: R-r-really? *laughs* H-h-how big?

Quatre: *whine* Rei!

Duo: *thinks* Hnnn...I dunno, as big as those c-nuts?

Zechs&Rei: *laugh harder*

Trowa&Wufei&Quatre&Heero: *sweatdrop and/or moan*

Duo: Then again Zech's jewels might be bigger cuz he's also inherrited a fortune being his possessed sister is a princess so.....

Zechs: Now wait a minute!

Rei: *laughing* What's the matter Zechs? You saying you don't have big jewels? Don't got the balls to admit it? *laughing still*

Zechs: Want me to prove it to you? Then you can judge whether or not they're big enough.

Rei: *stops laughing* WHAT? No thank you! *backs away from him*

Duo: Trowa's are normal cuz he makes good money being a clown and pleasing the audiences.

Rei: That so Trowa? *snickers* You really please them with what you have to offer?

Duo: Of course! I've seen the show! He makes them laugh! He makes them cry! He makes them spill juice on their good pants!

Zechs&Rei: *laughing their asses off*

Duo: What the hell is so damn funny? Oh well....umm...Wufei and Heero's are the smallest cuz they're really not into people that much ....

Heero holds Duo in an armlock and Wufei stands in front of him, cracking his knuckles and looking dead serious.

Wufei: Care to rephrase that?

Duo: I mean uh....they're the perfect size! Not to big! Not to small! Nice and shiny and very pretty?

Rei&Zechs: *still laughing*

They let him go, but not after they smacked him upside the head.

Rei: So *wiping the tears from eyes* ...heh...what about you Duo?

Duo: Me? Oh I don't have any.

R&Z: *laughing asses off*

Duo: What is fuckin' going on?

Rei: Nothing's fuckin' on,....cuz you don't have any to fuck with!!

Duo: Wha??? *blink* I confused.

Rei: Want me to melt your jewels so you know what I"m talking about?

Quatre: GAH! Don't do that Rei! It's ok, he won't do that again.

Duo: I won't?

Quatre: No.

Annoyed, Quatre told Duo what was reffered to the family jewels. Duo's eyes looked as if they'd pop out of their sockets and his mouth dropped.

Duo: *as innocent as he could look* I love you sis.

Rei: *arches brow* Save it! Shit, don't make me get a new host for you cuz you won't like it!

Heero: Relena? *in shock* (a/n or as "in shock" as an emotionless kamekaze pilot can get)

Rei: No, worse....DOROTHY CATALONIA!!!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!

Pilots: *gasp* The horror! *cling to Rei* No! Please!

Rei: GET THE HELL OFF ME!!!

The pilots fall backwards from the "sonic scream" attack. Zechs is in the background filming with a grin on his face. Rei turns towards him.

Rei: We are definately doing some major editing to this whole thing.

Zechs: Oh come on.

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