Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Voices ❯ A Father's Love ( Chapter 2 )

Voices : A Father's Love

Author's Note : Yeah, I say stuff, you don't read it. Thanks for the reviews, I would love to have that much response for this chapter too. Basic Disclaimers apply

Thoughts-//yadda yadda yadda//

Change in person-+++

Hotaru's bashing to herself in voice of father- 'yadda yadda yadda'

+++

Hotaru walked into her house, sweaty and tired but set on edge by the fact that she had seen her father's Jetta in the drive way. //Please don't let him see me like this,// she prayed, slipped off her shoes and padded up to her room.

The green numbers on her clock read 5:30 which gave her 30 minuets to prepare for dinner with her father and mother. Hotaru pulled out her evening dress that her grandmother had sent her from Italy and set it on her bed. Downstairs she could hear her parents talking with weariness of each other, knowing that any false word could set off a court case. That was how her parents were.

She slipped into the shower quickly just to wipe off the perspiration of ballet and washed her hair. In ten minuets she was out again, blow drying her hair and then fastening it with a simple silver barrette. Then she walked into her room and zipped the dress onto her body, content with the fit and hoping her father would like it.

"Hotaru?" her mother's voice chimed at the door.

Hotaru walked to the door and opened it half way, "Yes?" she inquired softly, hiding the anticipation of dinner well.

"Dinner will be in ten minuets. Don't be late," Mrs.Tomoe warned. Hotaru nodded and pushed the door close. Her phone rang loudly in the tense silence and made the girl jump. She raced over, making sure not to trip over the length of the dress and picked it up. "Hello?" she greeted.

"Hotaru?" a male voice said questionably.

"Yes," Hotaru answered, "who is this?"

"Trowa."

Hotaru's voice caught in her throat for a moment and she couldn't think of anything to say. //Why would he be calling me?// she wondered, positive that she had made it clear that she didn't want to be his friend in Spanish.

"Hotaru?" Trowa inquired, "I was wondering if you had the Chem homework."

Hotaru gasped when she realized she had stopped breathing, nodded then remembered she was on the phone. "Yeah I do, give me a moment."

'Can never do anything right can you girl?' her father's voice pin pricked into her mind for the first time since she had gotten home. 'Can't even get rid of a stupid boy, how do you expect me to be proud of you if you can't even complete a simple task like this?'

Hotaru paused in the middle of the room, feeling beaten down and even more tired than before. She couldn't take it sometimes, at the end of the day when she had spent hours listening to him critique and criticize.

"Hotaru?" Trowa's voice rung out again, questioning but patient. Hotaru felt an odd comfort in its normal tone and grabbed her assignment book from her back pack.

"Sorry," she apologized on the phone. "We have page 458-465 and questions 1-18."

"Thank you," Trowa said. There was a click on the line and for a moment Hotaru stared at the caller ID screen that displayed Trowa's phone number. For a moment she thought of writing it down just in case she forgot some homework or needed help but her father's voice objected and said that if she didn't hurry she would be late for dinner.

"Thank you Father," Hotaru murmured although it scared her a little that she had begun to think of her own reprimands as her actual father. She walked out of her room and acceded the stairs with poise that very few possessed.

Her father, Rider, was already in the dining room with the evening's paper, hiding behind it so he wouldn't have to converse with his ex-wife. "Hello Father," Hotaru spoke up, praying that she didn't squeak like a mouse.

The man laid his paper down, revealing a 40 year old with graying black hair and a sharp nose. "Well Hotaru, you have grown since I've seen you," he observed. "Cathy, what have you been feeding this child, lard?"

Hotaru winced, hearing her own thoughts agree haughtily. It was true she had gained some weight since she was eleven, but was that not expected.

//Apparently not,// Hotaru noted to herself.

"What are you talking about Rider, she's as skinny as a toothpick," Mrs.Tomoe answered back, her voice harsh.

"Hardly," Rider muttered, looking his daughter up and down before she sat at the table. "Dear, don't slouch, it's bad for your back."

"Of course not, Father," Hotaru answered, keeping her eyes on her plate. Her mother walked into the room carrying the soup, clam chowder in one of her fancy giant china pots.

"With all the money I give you, you still don't hire a maid?" Rider scoffed as Cathy set the bowl on the table and took her seat.

"Maria is in the kitchen cooking the rest of the food and I offered to bring this in so that the fish wouldn't burn," Hotaru's mother explained, reveling in making Rider silent.

"Are you prepared for the recital tomorrow, Hotaru?" Rider inquired and the girl's heart almost jumped into her throat.

"Yes, I have been working very hard to make everything perfect," Hotaru answered, letting excitement creep into her voice but not enough that it would become to apparent. "My partner, Shawn, is doing excellent for someone who has been on such a delayed recess."

"Couldn't take the competition? I knew that boy was weak," Rider assumed.

Almost instantly Cathy spoke up in a matter of fact voice, "He dislocated his leg while auditioning for New York's finest company and they still excepted him." Again Rider was quiet but Hotaru sent her mother a disappointing look.

"What?" her mom mouthed, but Hotaru just shook her head sadly. //How can she show the man who has kept us off the streets this kind of respect? Such a wonderful man.//

'Yes my dear, you understand what your father means to you and your mother,' her father's voice said with a pleasing tone. Hotaru felt a little warmer and poked at her soup.

"How is school going?" Rider inquired further.

"Well. I'm in all of the junior classes that are open to sophomores and Leah, my Spanish teacher, is thinking of moving me up a class," Hotaru mentioned.

" 'Bout time you showed some initiative," he decided.

"Yes," Hotaru agreed. //I will not cry, he is proud, he is,// she told herself silently while Maria brought in the salad and bread sticks. //Father, I know you love me. I love you too.//

+++

Trowa was stretched out on the couch, half watching some PBS special and using the other half of his brain to talk to Duo when the phone rung. He told Duo and promised to be back in a sec before meandering into the kitchen, expecting it to be Scott or Cathleen checking up on him again.

"Trowa?" Hotaru's voice whispered on the phone.

"Hotaru?" Trowa answered back in surprise. //Why would she call me?//

"Yeah, uhm Yue isn't home and I really need to get out of my house," she explained quickly, never letting her voice rise much over a murmur.

"What? Why?" Trowa asked. //Rider came home tonight,// he remembered and his mind went on a rampage of what could be happening at the Tomoe house, only to be drawn back by Hotaru's objections.

"No, no," she whimpered but not to Trowa. The boy listened quietly and could hear a male voice on the other side. "Father, please. Please."

"You good for nothing bitch, cowering in a corner like a rat. That's what you are, a rat bitch, fat, little, skank just like your mother. Nuthin good come from rats," the man roared. Trowa dropped the phone in surprise and sprinted out the door. For a moment he thought of taking his car but the house was close enough to run.

The 18 year old ran down the block and jumped over the gate that separated the complex from the street. The scenes around him were a blur as he dashed across random yards, blessing the owners for not leaving their dogs out. His lungs screamed for him to stop and take a breath, but every time he slowed down some horrible image of Hotaru battered and bruised on the floor flashed across his mind.

As Trowa turned the corner, only two blocks from the victim's house, he began to make out a small figure coming closer in his direction, stumbling and falling but picking itself back up again. As he got closer he began to hear what he guessed was a girl sobbing in between gasps. "Hotaru," he breathed and despite how tired he felt, Trowa sped up and met the girl as she finally collapse in his arms.

"Don't..don't let him," cough, "hurt me," she prayed, clutching to Trowa's stomach and weeping into his chest. "He won't stop talking...I can't take his talking."

Trowa was quiet and let her cry. It was dark and he couldn't see too well but under his fingers he could feel warm, sticky blood coming from some wound from Hotaru's back. "It's okay now," he murmured in her ear and was satisfied to hear her breathing slow. "It'll all be okay."

"Too much pain, it's all too much pain," Hotaru tried to explain but her words were still nothing but babble.

Trowa wasn't sure what he did to calm her down to a small whimper but in a few minuets he was carrying her in his arms down the street back to his apartment. //So Rider is an abuser too, I may not have to find the proof that he stole the money. I can turn his in for harassment then search the house,// Trowa planned logically but felt a pang of guilt. Right now the most important thing was getting Hotaru taken care of, then he could worry about how to get Rider in to jail.

"But isn't that what Heero and Duo warned me not to let happen, not to let Hotaru get in the way," Trowa reprimanded himself under his breath. It was true that he was taken the wrong path and it would only make his job harder. //But I can't leave this girl to fend for herself, who knows what would happen if I sent her back home now.//

"Were you talking to me?" Hotaru inquired, her speech barely a mumble.

"No," Trowa lied, "Can you walk now?"

Hotaru nodded and Trowa set her down on the side walk right before the first yard of many that they would cross. "My apartment isn't too far away," Trowa promised when he realized that Hotaru probably didn't feel like walking a mile.

"Uh hmm," Hotaru responded and there was silence. Trowa led her through the maze and soon enough the complex was looming over them.

"Bringing a lady home?" the guard, who Trowa had learned was named Ralph, greeted happily as they marched through the room.

"Something like that," the boy answered, not looking up from the floor. He still hadn't seen the injuries that had been inflicted on Hotaru and he didn't want to see them until they were in the privacy of the apartment. "Here," he announced, pulling out a key and opening the door.

"Hmm," Hotaru observed, her face hidden behind her hair. "It's nice, smells like lemon."

"Yeah," Trowa coughed, "I'm renting it from a family on vacation until I can afford my own."

"Oh," Hotaru said and collapsed on the couch with a small 'poof'.

Trowa thought several times of asking what had happened but then it would seem too soon after the moment. Finally he turned to face her, only to find that Hotaru had fallen into a uncomfortable but deep sleep.

"Don't they always fall asleep," Trowa thought out loud and knew that any gentlemen would carry the sleeping girl to his bed and then sleep on the couch. But Trowa was afraid to touch her, like it would disturb the fragile silence that Hotaru had gained. Not to mention he knew that the couch was too small for his 6 foot body.

Hotaru turned over and curled into a tight ball, waking Trowa from his watching trance. He went to the linen closet and grabbed a blanket, then draped it over the small body. "Goodnight, tomorrow we will decide the rest of your life," the pilot whispered into Hotaru's ear and then retired to his own bed.

+++

In her dreams Hotaru was still crying, ashamed to have imposed on Trowa for help. Angry at herself that she still wasn't perfect enough for her father.

"But I can be. I will be," she said out loud, her voice bouncing off the imaginary dream walls.

"Foolish girl. Stupid useless girl," her father bellowed, appearing quite suddenly, turning the scene to a pit of fire, leaving Hotaru on one unsteady rock. "You think you could ever please me?"

"Yes," Hotaru murmured carefully, trying to hold on to the fact that she was dreaming. //Only dreaming.//

"Then jump to me Hotaru," her father called out from his safe haven on the rim of the pit. "If you are so great and mighty, worthy of my love, prove it."

"But it's at least 20 meters," Hotaru whined. "I do love you Father, but I can not cross this without falling."

"If you loved me it would not matter that you may die," Rider's image answered, turning his back on her dismissively.

Hotaru looked down at her feet, then to the bubbling and boiling lava that would swallow her whole if she did not succeed. //But I love him,// she told her self and placed her left foot behind her right, preparing to jump.

Rider looked over his shoulder with slight interest but then quickly turned back around. Hotaru bit her tongue and took a leap. She caught the side of the rim, feeling quite pleased with herself and began to pull her body up. Under her weight the rock hand holds began to crumble and Hotaru desperately reached out her hand to her father. He made no acknowledgment and let Hotaru plunge to her certain death.

"I thought you loved me, Hotaru. You said you loved me," Rider said accusingly.

"I do. I do!" Hotaru exclaimed, scrambling for any hold but the rim wall had become smooth as glass. The idea that it was only a dream left the girl's mind and she began to scream, imagining how it would feel to have the heat of the lava burn away at her skin, eat at her bones.

"Hotaru, Hotaru," a warmer voice pushed her and the girl in question realized that she wasn't falling anymore. "Hotaru."

She opened her eyes and sat up with a start. "You saved me," she whispered almost inaudibly to the smart green eyes that were staring back at her.

"From what?" Trowa inquired and Hotaru took a moment to look around. There was no longer a well of burning hot lava but a dark blue carpet and large television. She was on a couch with a blanket on top of her and a very concerned boy looking at her. "From what?" he repeated.

"Nothing," Hotaru answered quickly and there was silence. The two teenagers looked deep into each others eyes and Hotaru felt Trowa's body move closer. When their lips met Hotaru heard classic music but ignored it, assuming that it was her own imagination. She began to rap her hands around Trowa's neck when she was surprised by the fact that there was nothing there.

"You actually think I would kiss you?" Trowa said in baffle and disgust. "Someone who can't even please their own father. How could you ever give me what I want?"

"What? Huh?" Hotaru said utterly confused. "I thought I was awake."

"You are you crazy bitch," Trowa scolded, his voice and face changing into her father. "I'm everywhere, watching you. I know what you want and I know what you can and can't get."

"I don't want Trowa," Hotaru said more to herself that the man standing in front of her. "I want you, I want you to love me."

"Well that's too bad because that's not going to happen anytime soon. Not with a girl like you," Rider answered. From a mysterious place he pulled out a knife and began to move closer to Hotaru.

The girl objected with pleas but then found herself tied to a silver dentist chair. Her father was growing close, telling her how lucky she was that he was her father and how unlucky he was to have a daughter like her. A sick, ugly, weak daughter like her. Hotaru began to cry again which only gave Rider lay way to more insults of how weak she was.

"Hotaru," Trowa's calming voice ran into her ears and through her body like a relaxing elixir.

"No, no," she sputtered, opening her eyes and sitting up, trying to push the boy away. "You're not real, it's just a dream. A horrible, horrible dream."

"It isn't a dream, Hotaru," Trowa said.

//No, Father is testing me, trying to see if I'll make the same mistake twice. But I won't. I'm smarter than that,// Hotaru argued in her mind. She felt a sharp pain in her arm which brought her back to reality and she realized that Trowa had just pinched her.

"You're not dreaming," Trowa promised, sitting down next to her.

Hotaru was quiet, keeping her head down, trying to avoid the soul-seeking eyes that Trowa was blessed with. //Curse them. Once I look at them I know I'll just start crying again.// Hotaru kept her vision firmly downward until Trowa slipped his fingers under her neck and pulled her chin up to look at him. //I know I would start crying,// Hotaru mumbled sadly in her thoughts and felt the warm tears spill out of her eyes.

Trowa gave a start, not sure what to do when a girl starts to cry at the sight of you. //Stay away, Trowa,// he warned himself, //Nothing good can come from helping her.// But there Hotaru was, bent over, salty droplets pouring down her face, speckling the blanket on her lap.

Hotaru felt alone and cold. //I must look like a child, sitting in this guy's living room, crying like crazy for reasons he can't even guess.// Her realistic views made Hotaru stopped crying and look up at the confused Trowa with red and puffy eyes.

"Thanks," she muttered when he handed her a tissue. She patted her eyes and blew her nose before throwing it away in the near by trash can. "We're probably late for school," Hotaru reminded herself of just one more problem.

"No, it's 5 in the mourning," Trowa said, letting the tiredness show in his voice.

"Oh, then you should go back to sleep, I'll walk myself home," Hotaru decided but looked unkindly out the window.

"No, I'll walk you. I don't want you to get hurt again," he said and helped her off the chair. Hotaru slipped and fell into his arms, looking up at him, looking into those spring green eyes. "Hotaru, what happen?"

For a moment the girl was wondering why he cared how she slipped but then quickly realized that he meant what had happened last night. Why she was covered with ugly, molted bruises. "Can I see?" he inquired further, moving his hand to push her hair out of the way.

Hotaru backed up and moved away the black mess to reveal her scars. There was a four line scratch that dragged itself along her cheek, ended with a dark blue mark. On her eyes was the customary black eye that actually matched the color of her eye. Hotaru watched Trowa's eyes linger down her neck and widen at the sight of strangle bruises.

"You need to turn him in, Hotaru. If I hadn't been there he could have killed you," Trowa advised just like Yue had when Hotaru had gone to her house.

"No!" Hotaru said defiantly. "I won't give my father over to the police. Who knows what they could do to him for something like this."

"But," Trowa started and Hotaru could tell that he didn't understand, just like Yue hadn't understood, just like her own mother hadn't understood. Hotaru had made up a horrible excuse of being afraid that her father would get out of jail and kill her. Of course that had been a story but it had kept Rider out of jail and that was all Hotaru needed.

//I don't need anyone's help to become perfect or please my father. I also don't need any help getting rid of the man who sets my standards that have molded me from the age 5,// Hotaru decided and headed toward the door.

"Hotaru," Trowa objected, moving to catch her but the teenage girl closed the door too quickly, hitting the boy in the face. She winced when she heard the smack but continued to walk out of the apartment complex and out into the bitterly cold streets of autumn.

"Stupid, I must look stupid," she muttered, wrapping her arms around her bare shoulders for warmth and crossing the yards to her house. Somewhere around the 4th block she began to sneeze and knew that the cold and her tiredness had finally caught up. "Wish I could skip class," she murmured but then recalled the Shakespeare test.

Somewhere in the back of her head Hotaru wished that Trowa had followed her, tried once more to care for her.

'A boy like that would never care for you my little bafoon,' her father's voice reminded her and her pace increased. //If I go fast enough maybe I'll knock him out of my head, finally be in peace with my own thoughts and views,// she contemplated.

'You can never rid yourself of me, I am you,' the voice assured Hotaru and the girl imagined a devilish laugh in the background. She looked up and saw her house ahead, now accompanied by this evil green glow like in the horror movies she watched as a kid.

Walking around the back, Hotaru peeked her head in and listened carefully. There wasn't a sign in the house that her father was awake to rant at her for leaving in the middle night. She took a cautious first step onto the tile and then another. Mechanically she moved through the kitchen and to the stairs that would lead to her bedroom, her haven.

"Hotaru, where were you last night?" a voice asked and Hotaru jumped in fright. When she turned around she was greeted by her mother's blood shot eyes and blotchy face. Her mother motioned with her head to the couch where Rider laid in a drunken sleep.

"A friends," Hotaru answered quickly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, for now," her mother answered caustically. Hotaru could tell that her mother was sending signals for Hotaru to give her permission to call the cops, but Hotaru had made it clear if Cathy ever attempted to do that she would run away from home.

"Good," Hotaru answered, denying the request and gave her mother a quick hug before retreating upstairs.

In the cool room there was evidence of the previous events, blood spots on the carpet, sheets discarded on the floor and the open window where Hotaru had escaped to the waiting arms of Trowa. Hotaru sighed and cleaned up her room without a tear, as if nothing had happened but a wild party. //That proves that it's happened too many times, I don't even care anymore.// She reached for the window then decided against it even though the room was reaching a cold tempeture.

//I'll always have somewhere to run,// she thought then wrote it on a post-it and taped it to the window. Only then did she close and lock out the brisk wind.

+++

Trowa arrived at school at the normal time, having taken a small nap after his ordeal with Hotaru. The halls were crowded but he had a height advantage and almost instantly spotted Yue waving at him.

"Hey," she greeted cheerfully then some how sensed that he wasn't in a good mood. "She came to you didn't she?" There was no need to mention who 'she' was.

Trowa gave a curt nod. He felt guilty that he hadn't fulfilled Yue's request, that he had let Hotaru receive such pain in only one night. And even when she had come he had offered no sort of comfort. //I made her leave,// he added.

"Is she alright?" Yue asked in a low voice, suddenly becoming more paranoid of the people around her.

//I think,// he answered in thought but again only answered with a nod. Yue realized that it was a private matter and did not pressed anymore. She walked away to another friend and Trowa was left alone once more.

The five minuet bell rung and most people streamed into their class rooms, giving Trowa space to jog to his own locker. After gathering his books he began to head to Latin Literature when a dark creature caught his eye.

"Hotaru," he inquired when he saw the girl leaning tiredly against her lockers, tears wetting hands and nylon gloves. Compelled by a primal feeling Trowa gathered her small and feeble body in his arms then pushed up her head to face him.

"It's not his fault," she cried as Trowa's eyes expanded once more. On the small white cheeks of the girl was another newer yellow bruise and dried scrape on the side of her head.

"Well then who's it is, Hotaru?" Trowa seethed angrily but still held her gently. "It's certainly not yours."

Hotaru looked down, shamed sweeping her eyes, "It is though," she whispered.

"How?" Trowa inquired further, praying that the bell wouldn't choose this crucial moment to ring.

Hotaru was quiet, not sure if she wanted to expose herself, "I do so many stupid things. I screw up so many times, I would be lost if he didn't tell me when."

"But does he have to hurt you in the process?" Trowa whispered. Suddenly he heard footsteps coming down the hall and he pressed even closer to Hotaru, bent his head down and pressed his lips to her open mouth. In any case it would seem that Trowa was taking advantage of Hotaru's broken state, that was how Trowa looked at it. But when he felt Hotaru respond, slipping her hands around his waist and dipping her tongue into his mouth Trowa couldn't beeo himself from enjoying it.

"Sorry," Trowa said huskily when the man had passed.

Hotaru looked at him with questioning eyes and Trowa could tell that she was trying to form a question. He waited patiently until she forced out, "Was that real?"

"Yes, everything about it," Trowa answered and smiled at the light that started to return to her face. "And I'm going to protect you. Your father can control you all he wants but as long as I'm here he will never hurt you."

Hotaru didn't say anything and Trowa wasn't sure that she agreed with his declaration. When he backed up and began to walk towards the library to wait for second period, Hotaru walked with him. When he glanced down at her, with her small arm circling his waist and her weight leaning into his body, the pilot began to wonder if Heero really knew what love felt like, and if so, why did he say is was shit?

+++

Author's Note-Sorry this one is shorter and I don't think it's as good. Just incase you're wondering, no they aren't deeply in love and planning to get married or anything, just happy. I'm never that predictable, I hope.