Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Shinigami Zutto ❯ Talking it Out ( Chapter 10 )

Gomen nasai for the wait! I am so, so sorry! SZ is drawing to a close, and I am determined to finish it! Real Life and WJ&aA (original thing I am writing) got in the way! Gomen! Please forgive me!

Heero made his way quickly to his room, locking the door behind him. He sat on the bed and ran a shaky hand through his hair, cursing his habit of walking softly for the first time he could remember.
If he had not left Wufei downstairs, contacting Merian, if he had not walked quietly up the stairs… if he had made more noise he might not have overheard what he had overheard, but he had and the new knowledge was pounding in his brain, repeating over and over. How could he not have guessed?
Looking back, it was so obvious. So many small clues. How could he not have figured out that Duo was alive! Well, not alive… Shinigami were not technically alive, per se, but he was still mostly corporeal. He should have known that Duo would not rest peacefully.
Asato Tsuzuki… Duo Maxwell…
One and the same pilot. The man he had loved… the memory he was still in love with. But how much had he changed? And why had he not contacted them when they became Shinigami?
There was a large lump in his throat and he felt like crying, but he was afraid that if he started he would never stop. He didn’t know Tsuzuki, and despite the moments of synchronization with him, the other man was different, probably more different than he realized.
But the core of Duo was likely to still be the same… the major events that had shaped his life happened before or during the period of time they had been together. The Shinigami job surely wasn’t going to offer that many life changing experiences?
But doing it for more than seventy years… he was bound to have changed.

Heero realized that he was arguing with himself, desperately hoping for something that probably was not true. Duo… Tsuzuki was almost a stranger, and Heero had changed himself. What there once was between them was no more… he had just a memory now.
But… Heero couldn’t seem to quench the hope.
Maybe… maybe if they got to know each other again, they would find that something was still there?
Heero glanced at his watch. It was getting late, and he knew that Tsuzuki hadn’t eaten much all day – they had mostly skipped lunch. He would invite the violet eyed Shinigami out to dinner and they could see where that led…
*
Duo stared curiously at his dinner companion over the rim of his glass. “Ne, Heero, why did you bring me here?”
Heero swallowed. “Today… well, uh…”
“You wanted to celebrate or something?” the violet eyed man guessed. “Why not with the others?” he asked curiously.
“I came up the stairs before Wufei.”
Duo felt the colour drain from his cheeks. “You… oh.” He suddenly felt cold and afraid. “Are you mad? How much did you hear?”
“Enough to figure it out. Why would I be angry?” Heero asked, sounding genuinely puzzled. Duo risked a quick glance up and saw nothing but worry in his deep blue eyes.
“I… I left you,” he answered after a pause.
“You were taken.”
“Well, yeah, but getting myself captured like that was so stupid, and I didn’t manage to escape…so stupid. Such a baka, you were right…”
“It was peace time, you weren’t expecting an attack. And he was good; I never found you.”
“Never?”
“Never. I looked for years.”
“When I became a Shinigami, I was forbidden to contact you, as I was dead… could cause complications, y’know? And I kept my promise. I didn’t even look for you because it hurt too much. By the time you joined me it had been so long… I was scared that you wouldn’t want to know me anymore. I’m… I’m not one of you anymore.”
“Yes, you are, Duo,” Heero insisted. Duo sniffed, and shook his head. “Once a Gundam Pilot, always a Gundam Pilot,” he continued. “Together, a team. You taught us that, Duo, you and Quatre.”
“But-”
“No buts. Now, who knows?”
“Well, Quatre and Hisoka do… I figure Hisoka helped Quatre work it out. Merian knows. I haven’t told Wufei or Trowa… or rather, I don’t think they’ve figured it out.”
“Merian?”
“While you were playing that damn song, I was… very upset. She found me, and, well, she knew something was up. She wondered if I had been killed by you guys and was harboring a grudge. I had to tell her the truth… I hate lying anyhow.”
“Still?”
“Some things never change.”
“Duo, I… I’d like to get to know you again.”
Duo looked up, blinking tears away from his eyes. “Really?” he asked. Heero chuckled softly.
“Yes, baka. We were friends once, and something more for a time. I’ve missed you.”
“Heero… I dunno…”
“I know that we’ve both changed. But at least let me try to be your friend again.”
“Uh, ok…”
“The only thing is… Relena.”
Duo blinked. “Ok, now you’ve got me really confused.”
Heero sighed and toyed with his napkin. “I stayed in Sanq, rather than moving to Japan or L1, because of Relena. I want to protect her even now. Once she has passed away I can move wherever I like, but until then… I vowed to protect her.”
“And you should honor that vow.”
Heero blinked at his companion across the table. “You sound more like Wufei than the Duo I know… knew. It’s kinda weird… especially as he grew his hair out like you.”
Duo smiled, but then shuddered, raising a hand to his head. Heero immediately looked concerned. Duo looked up, gave him a quick smile, then turned his attention to the single carnation on the centre of the table.
"What is it?" Heero asked, concerned. Duo shrugged.
"It's nothing."
"Duo..." Heero studied his companion intently, his mind running over their conversation. Something occurred to him and his eyes widened in shock. "Wait a minute. You didn't cut off your hair by choice, did you?" He asked. Duo shook his head miserably. "Oh, Duo..."
"He did it. He hacked it off. Because he wouldn't let me take care of it and he couldn't be bothered. So he said that it had to go. Heero," Duo raised tear filled eyes to the ex-pilot's face. "I kept my hair long through living on the streets, the destruction of Maxwell church and two wars! It was a part of me, a big part, and he just took it!"
Heero's hand snuck across the table of its own accord and gripped Duo's tightly.
"Didn't even ask me, just told me. I loved that braid! It reminded me of Sister Helen, of Solo, and in a small way of you and Deathscythe. Coming here has unearthed so many memories, seeing all of you again is something I never thought that I would be able to do, and I have, and... oh God it hurt so much! I know hair is dead and all, but every time he cut through a strand it hurt!"
"You could grow it out again," Heero said sensibly. In fact, why haven't you? You're immortal now, there's nothing to stop you."
Duo shook his head miserably. "I'd have to ask the Count, and he scares me. When you become a Shinigami, you choose a form, and that's that. That's how you look to be in your 20's now, rather than old. You could have chosen to look 15 again, but that makes it a little hard to get into places with age restrictions, and to ask questions of people. They prefer you not to be that young - Hisoka is pretty exceptional in that regard. I am the way I was when I died - I committed suicide, so now I'm stuck like this unless I beg."
"This sounds very convoluted. Have you actually asked about this?"
"Uh, not really."
"I think you should. From what I've seen that's not exactly how they go about deciding your appearance. Besides, you became a Shinigami over 70 years ago. Something is bound to have changed.”
“But…”
“No buts. Now, what are you eating?”
A sudden spark of rebellion lit in Duo’s eyes. “No way are you ordering for me, Yuy!”
Heero grinned. “Ah, that’s the Duo Maxwell we all know and love. Knew that he was hiding in there somewhere.”
“Heero… I’ve changed.”
“So have I. Lets see if some things don’t. Now, what are you having?”
*
Trowa and Quatre snuggled together against the headboard of their king sized bed, Quatre cradled in the arms of his taller husband. The remains of a meal on the bedside table and the vitamin drink showed that coddling had taken place.
Trowa sighed and breathed in the scent of Quatre’s soft blond hair. “I was so scared that I had lost you,” he murmured in Spanish.
“I was fine… although what he was doing was dangerous,” Quatre replied in the same language.
“What?”
“He took me back in time mentally… I thought that I had been captured by someone, and I was insisting that he wouldn’t make me tell him where the Gundams were.”
“Hm.”
“If he had taken me back to that time where I was controlled by the Zero System… it could have got very ugly.”
Trowa hugged him tighter. His Husband sighed and relaxed into the embrace, staring down at the twin gold rings that glinted on their joined hands. Trowa had bought his with his own money, made from working in the circus, and that had made the gift so much more precious…
“I want to make you something,” Quatre said suddenly. Trowa shifted, and Quatre felt his surprise and curiosity. “You bought me this ring with your own money, you worked for it. The ring I gave you… hell, I had enough money to buy it when I was three. I can’t work hard to get the money to buy you something, so I’m going to make you something.”
“Quatre, angel, you don’t need to! Just being with you is enough.”
“But… you would have something to really remember me by if we ever get separated if I do. No arguments, now! Let’s just enjoy the quiet time before all the paperwork begins. I bet that damn building was Listed; it would be just our luck… (1)
“Huh?”
“That opera house.”
“Oh, yeah.”
Quatre smiled lovingly up at his husband. “Tired, love?”
“A little,” the ex-acrobat admitted.
“Then let’s sleep, I confess to being weary myself.”
*
“Despite his trepidation on hearing the news that Heero know knew of his identity, Duo found himself enjoying the meal. Now that there were no secrets between them they were able to talk about the past, about their shared experiences in the wars and some of their exploits while being Shinigami.
He found himself missing his braid more than he had in months, but Heero’s suggestion to grow his hair out again appealed to him greatly. He found himself fascinated by the changes that time had wrought in his companion. Heero had grown old in the mortal world, something that Tsuzuki had never had the chance to do. He had experienced more than Duo would ever be able to do. But Duo did not envy his companion; Heero was more than willing to share. And he was secretly convinced that growing old wasn’t all that much fun anyhow.
“Heero… remember that holiday we took after the second war? When we went to Hawaii and I insisted that you wore those strings of flowers around your neck?”
“How could I forget? That was the holiday where you first swam in the sea, rather than in a training tank or school pool.”
“We also learnt to surf, remember?” Duo reminded him, smiling at the memory.
“Yeah… and what those drinks served in cocoa nuts actually tasted like.”
“Remember the time we got really drunk and scandalized the old lady in the elevator?”
“Cause we were so horny that we couldn’t keep our hands off each other,” Heero finished.
They caught each other’s eyes, and Tsuzuki could feel himself falling into a trance as he gazed. He ducked his head, and felt a blush spreading against his cheeks. “We shouldn’t.”
Heero’s blue eyes were intense. “I know.”
Duo risked a quick glance up, then looked hurriedly away. “So stop looking at me like that!”
Heero leaned close across the table. “I never stopped wanting you, never stopped looking for you, never stopped loving you. Hell,” a wry grin crossed his features. “I never stopped dreaming of you or jerking off to the memory of you afterwards.”
“I know,” Duo admitted in a low voice. “I heard. And… it was the same for me.”
“Then why can’t we?” Heero asked insistently.
Duo shook his head. “We don’t know each other anymore. Friends first, that’s the way it has to be.”
“Seriously, though, if you had only just met me, and you liked me, would you have started a relationship with me by now?”
Duo looked away, considering. “Maybe.”
“Duo… Tsuzuki… I admit that I liked you even not knowing who you were. Maybe not enough to consider a relationship – you had not proved yourself trustworthy. But now I know you have a thousand times over in the past, and I like this new you enough to chance it. Will you chance it with me?”
“But you have to stay here, in Sanq. And my place is in Japan, with my partner.”
A loud beeping cut through their conversation. Heero sighed, and rolled his eyes as he pulled out his ‘phone.
“Yuy. Nani?! … Hai… Wakarimashite. Hai. Ja.” He snapped the phone shut and turned serious eyes towards Tsuzuki. “I have to leave… something to do with Relena. You coming?”
“Right behind you, Aibou. If you’ll have me.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

for those people who didn’t get that, a Listed building are those that are considered historic (quite a lot are really old places, like Castles) and you’re not allowed to make ANY structural changes without permission from the council and the historians society and a whole bunch of other people. Seriously, these people cannot put up a trellis or hang a picture nail.
Nani?! – what the??
Hai – yes
Wakarimashite – I understand. (Old Heero would have used Ryoukai. See how far my baby has come! ^^)
Ja – part of Ja ne. Basically Bye or See ya.
Aibou – partner. (Duo used to call Deathscythe Aibou)