Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ 30 Days of Drabble ❯ Day 17: Cuss Bucket ( Chapter 17 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Since it's Friday night and I don't have to work tomorrow, I made this one longer. [Rules for this challenge are in chapter one.]

Day: 17
Date: February 26, 2010

Prompt: mulct /MULKT/, noun; 1.A fine or penalty. transitive verb: 1.To punish for an offense or misdemeanor by imposing a fine or demanding a forfeiture. 2.To obtain by fraud or deception. 3.To defraud; to swindle.
Fandom: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing
Characters: Relena, Duo & Heero
Disclaimer: Bandai, Sotsu and Sunrise own Gundam Wing. I just use the characters for my own amusement and with any luck at all, your amusement as well.

Warnings: Check the title. There will be bad language, probably by those you least expect.

Cuss Bucket

Relena looked up from her paperwork as her contingent of five elite bodyguards entered her office, closing the door soundly behind them. She smiled. "Good, you made it."

Heero, the head of the guard, nodded brusquely. "You did request our presence."

"What can we do for you, princess?" asked Heero's second-in-command. Duo's use of her former title didn't bother her in the least, mostly because he used is as an endearment more than as a title. That and if she protested he'd find something worse to call her. She really didn't want to know what horrible names he could come up with.

She folded her hands in front of her and then straightened her shoulders before continuing. "Well, I've noticed that there's been an awful lot of..." She paused, giving Duo and the two newest guards what she hoped was a hard look. "A lot of indecent language being used lately."

"Cussing," provided the primary offender with a toothy grin. "It's called cussing, princess. Or swearing, if you prefer."

"Thank you so much for the vocabulary lesson, Mr. Maxwell. I'll keep that in mind. Now, back to the issue at hand. I think I've come up with a solution to help you all remember to keep a reign on your dirty mouths." Heero raised a hand slightly and then opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "Those of you who are mindful of what you say won't be affected by this decision in the least." The leader of the guard backed down, regaining his stoic expression.

She nodded, reaching below her desk to retrieve a gallon-sized glass jar. "This, gentlemen, is commonly referred to as a 'cuss bucket.' I'm sure you're all acquainted with the idea."

There were a couple of snickers and one outright, "How the hell?"

She tapped the jar with one fingernail, an angelic smile spreading across her lips. "That will be five dollars, Mr. Maxwell."

His humor almost instantaneously transformed into shock. "'Scuse me?"

"That will be," she repeated, very slowly so as not to confuse him, "Five dollars." He didn't respond so she chose to lay down the rules in a neat list that even a simpleton, or someone shocked into silence, could understand. "Five dollars is the penalty for shit, damn, hell, ass and bitch." At this declaration, all humor in the room evaporated. "Ten is the penalty for fuck and a couple of other words I will not personally repeat."

At this, Heero facepalmed, but Duo, on the other hand, broke into the widest grin Relena had ever seen. "Holy Shit, Relena! I didn't know you had it in your prim ass to even think the words, let alone say them! Goddamn, that was fuckin' bitchin'!" And then he promptly deposited thirty-five bucks into the jar.

Ten seconds later, he dropped in a C-note. "What? You know, I'm gonna contribute at least that much in the next week."

- END -