Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ A Haven for Death ❯ Chapter 1

A Haven for Death

 

 

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me…but it will…maybe. You never know. *wink*

 

Everything was set. I was ready to go, ready to leave my life, my heart behind. I came for one last goodbye…Fortunately, love caught me just in time.

 

I watched silently, graciously shrouded by the shadows of the park's humongous collection of trees, the lone figure that had caught my attention. He was wearing a plain white shirt that clung to his lean, muscled figure, matched with tight fitting black jeans. I tilted my head to one side and mused how one can look so fucking hot in such a simple garb. Twilight was descending fast and I relaxed a bit, knowing that he wouldn't be able to see me. Darkness was my friend, a comrade, and in the wars I used it as a weapon.

 

A cold yet fitting sanctuary for the God of Death.

 

My confidence grew as the darkness spread, rendering me almost invisible as I fused with the night. A light post pathetically tried to illuminate what little scope it had. A gentle breeze passed, and the figure sitting on the bench shivered a little. A neglected, empty bag of bread crumbs sitting beside him fell soundlessly to the ground. He directed a careless glance at it, staring for a moment or so before shifting his gaze towards the starless, cloud filled, night sky. The shadows played their magic on the outlines of his well-sculpted features and the cold night breeze ruffled his untamed bangs.

 

 

“Nani wo kangaete iru ka, koi?1”

 

 

I whispered to the cold blackness, wanting nothing more than to enfold him in my arms and never let him go. Something twisted inside my chest; my throat felt like someone was slowly carving it with a sharp bladed knife and I blinked, suppressing the unwelcome feelings that have begun invading my senses.

 

 

“I have to be strong…for both of us.”

 

 

I grinned. Insane? Perhaps. But I read from some pre-colonial scientist's writings that one's emotions could be affected by how one thought, and that actions sometimes governed how one felt. I clutched at that piece of knowledge now, and fought with my inner self for dominance. I'm proud to say Shinigami won. I grinned wider, feeling the pain inside me fading a bit…

 

 

“Sayonara koi.”

 

 

I have to do this fast before I totally lose control. I was caving in inside and I need to get as far away as I could before I do something I'd regret later. I came here for one last glimpse of him. I could afford myself the luxury of one last glimpse of the one I love, then I'm going. One last goodbye, then I'd be out of his life for good. He'd be able to live a happy normal life with someone…he cares for. Someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Someone he could live a normal life with.

 

 

Someone who's not a fuckup like me.

 

 

My vision was blurring and I clutched at the tree beside me, feeling the rough chunks of flaking bark digging into the skin of my hands but I was way past caring. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes tightly.

 

 

“I'm so sorry…So, so sorry…”

 

 

I'm just a nuisance. I knew that. A hindrance to his happiness, his dreams. I knew that too. But I chose to be selfish and stayed. I chose to burden him with my presence because I was weak. Ironic actually; I managed to get through every fucking shit life hurled at me and now, I'm crumbling right before my eyes just because of this one guy. This one fucking guy who would never be able to return how I feel about him. Great, now I'm drowning in self pity. Way to go Maxwell. Solo would be real proud of you. I straightened up and chuckled softly. I looked back to the bench where the hunched figure was sitting, gazing contemplatively at the stars. I felt my heart wrenching inside of me as I realized that he'd gone.

 

 

“At least…I managed to say goodbye…even if he didn't hear it.”

 

 

Why the fuck did I even bother going to this place anyway? What good was saying goodbye to someone who doesn't know you're even there? Am I that much of a coward? What the fuck is happening to me?

 

 

“Maxwell you're a brainless idiot.”

 

 

I berated myself inwardly as I sunk deeper into the shadows. He's gone. I'm going too. Where? No fucking clue. My shoulders sagged and I trudged wearily away from the spot where I stayed for three fucking hours waiting for him. Just waiting for him. Fuck this life. I steadied my pace determined to get away from the damned place as fast as I could, sodden soil clinging to my boots as I went. To hell with everything, I'm outta here.

 

 

I went like hell hounds were after my soul- ok maybe they really are, but that's beside the point. I wasn't looking where I was going now, I just wanted to get away, and I broke into a run. But I didn't get far. I bumped something firm and warm. I felt the ground tilt underneath me as I lost balance and I braced myself for impact. Then, I felt hands grip my arms like steel and I felt myself suspended in mid-fall. Yes it was dark, pitch black as some would put it, but I felt myself drawn to a pair of glittering orbs in front of my face. Warmth. From this person perhaps?

 

 

“Duo..?”

 

 

A voice weakly whispered my name in the cold night. Warm breath cutting across my face, caressing my cheeks in a way that it only knew how. Warmth. I felt more warmth as the figure embraced me tightly against him, robbing me of breath. But at that moment I didn't care. I felt…safe. He was whispering my name over and over and over…just as I had whispered his to the deities of the night, countless times before.

 

 

“I came to say goodbye.”

 

 

I bravely managed to get out. I held my voice steady, but I trembled a little, and I prayed I could hold myself together for just a little more before I…

 

 

“What in hell are you saying?!!”

 

 

The figure started and choked out in a desperate voice. Desperate? Choked out? What the hell? I was supposed to be the one sounding like that! But him? Him? Impossible. Especially where I was concerned. I'm an obstacle, a hindrance… a useless blabbering idiot that always annoyed the hell out of him. Wait a second…what…what the fuck, he's…crying…?

 

 

I touched his face gingerly and caught a single teardrop with the tip of my finger. I stared at it in open fascination, my eyes wide and questioning.

 

 

“Tears…? What…Why..?”

 

Moonlight broke through the dormant clouds and spilled softly around us. I stared bewildered into the face in front of me, and I could see tears silently making their way down his cheeks, like little droplets of liquid moonlight. He was sobbing freely now, the salty cascade making their way faster down his face lovingly silhouetted by the soft white light.

 

 

“Why? Why Duo? Goddammit, Why?”

 

 

I wrenched my gaze from the suffering façade in front of me and, uncomprehending any of it at all, I lowered my gaze and kept my silence. A barrier, to protect…myself? Him? Them? Her? I don't know anymore. Nothing made sense anymore. I felt the urge to run again, to leave all the confusion behind, to leave him behind. Just let me leave, just let me go…

 

 

“No. Never.”

 

 

I jerked my head up and his gaze locked in defiance with mine. He heard me? Then his gaze softened and he released one of my arms in his death grip and caught my chin just as I was about to turn my head away again, forcing me to look at him.

 

 

“Don't…”

 

 

He choked out in a whisper, trying desperately to gather his voice, gathering the words carefully. He held my gaze steadily and finally managed to get the words out, his voice cracking as he said each word.

 

 

“I love you Duo…Please, please…”

 

 

He leaned in till his forehead touched mine.

 

 

“Please don't leave me.”

 

 

God. No. How could I say no to him? I could never deny him anything.

 

 

“Duo…”

 

 

He leaned in further till his lips touched mine in a gentle kiss. Never had I thought the day would come when I would be able to associate the word gentle in any way with him but now, there was just no other way to describe this, to describe him. I felt warmth surround me again. Warmth. Heero's warmth. I felt safe in his arms. It felt like…home.

 

 

Yes, I was home.

 

 

As I pulled slowly away from Him, I thanked all the deities up above and whispered silently to the night.

 

 

“Tadaima…”

 

 

It was dim, darkness surrounded and blanketed everything in sight and there was naught to be seen save for what the soft moonlight touched. But in a single moment I caught a sight that would captivate me for the rest of my life, a sight I have engraved into my memory until the day I die.

 

 

Heero smiled for me.

 

One genuine smile meant just for me. A smile filled with love. Filled with warmth.

 

 

“Okaeri.”

 

 

At last, I was home.

 

 

***

OWARI

***

 

 

“Nani o kangaete iru ka, koi?”1 --“What are you thinking of, beloved?”

 

 

***

 

Ok, first things first. Thank you and Congratulations to those who have managed to get this far and read through all the sap and fluff in this fic without drowning. Death by waff and fluff. Ugh- not pretty. Honestly, it's my first GW fic and I hope I did ok…tell me how I did..? *fidgets* that doesn't sound right…Aw crap…I'm no good at this…*blushes profusely and hides*

 

I blame Chrno Crusade's ending song, `Sayonara Solitaire' (try playing it at the beginning of the fic, it fits, it think…) for the production of this fic an' lots an' lots an' lots (oh, wait did I say LOTS? *giggles* ) of sleep deprivation . REALLY!!! I'm innooo~~ocent!!!! *screams and wails as a pair of white clad guys, one a ponytailed asian muttering about `stupid onnas' and the other a Latino type with one side of his face obscured by a stiff layer of hair drags the carcass onto a white van marked `Funny Farm'*