Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ A Healing Process ❯ A Healing Process ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: MossTea

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters do not belong to me.

A Healing Process

By MossTea

-Earth

“I don't want to be alone anymore,” she whispered miserably, and Relena stopped searching her cabinet for medicine.

“Hilde…” but there was nothing she could say to that. How many times had she felt the same emotions, time after time, when Heero had turned down a kind offer, or ignored a gift so thoughtfully picked out.

She had tried to see other people - after all, what other choices were there? - but in the end she had left or cancelled every date. It wasn't that they couldn't measure up to him - it was just that… they weren't Heero. And she couldn't stop hoping, despite the fact that he took every opportunity to push her away. It hurt so badly, but… there was no one else for her.

“Do you think… would he get jealous if you saw someone else?”

Relena felt a twinge of guilt asking this, for she had tried it on Heero - and it had taken her nowhere, except for him closing her out more.

“I don't know,” Hilde said, hurting so badly she couldn't care.

“But… what do you think his reaction would be? Would it help at all?” Relena persisted. She'd seen the way the Deathscythe pilot looked at the girl in front of her, but she couldn't mention that - he would never admit to it, so it was pointless to stir hope in that direction.

“I know you don't want to push Duo away, but maybe you could try to open up to someone else?”

Hilde sighed.

“I don't really want to date, but… if you think it would help…”

Relena bit her lip. She wasn't good at relationships - she was good at politics. No time like the present to take a jump into new territories, though.

“I think you should try, at the very least. I can't guarantee anything, but… I think you should try.”

“Ok.” Hilde said, wondering if she would be able to do it. “I'll try.”

-Colony

A week later, Hilde was finding trying very hard. Then again, anything was hard when you were living in the same house with the man you loved. Heck, washing the dishes together was hard.

She had never hidden her feelings for him before, but now that she was supposed to be `trying,' she was also trying to hide how much his indifference hurt her.

It wasn't as though other men were around, but she'd never really paid attention before. She had to make an effort to look around now, but slowly, she was being surprised. There were some really nice people, who she had never taken the time to notice.

In the end, it was looking around that did it - she must have always looked closed off, because before, no one had ever approached her.

Suddenly, men were popping up left and right - not literally, of course - but there seemed to be more men around than she remembered. And really, it should have dawned on her before - most of her auto class was men, not women.

He had told her it was as though her face, before in shadow, had suddenly burst out, like so much sunlight. She'd been so surprised at his words she had smiled. The expression on his face at that smile had called out to instincts long forgotten.

He liked her! A satisfaction, wholly feminine, rose up from the depths of her heart, and she couldn't help but be flattered.

Suddenly, life seemed to hold some hope again. Her heart couldn't let go of Duo, but perhaps… perhaps there was room for someone else.

The call came a week later.

“Hey Hilde, it's Relena. I was just wondering how you've been doing.”

“I'm doing well. Really well.”

She paused a moment, and smiled. “I met someone.”

There was a brief silence on the other side of the phone, and then a small giggle.

“Really?”

Hilde laughed, feeling the same giddiness. So, there was life after the Gundam pilots, after all.

She never noticed Duo, standing outside her door listening, a sad smile on his face.

For their first date, he'd taken her to a noodle stand outside the colony's zoo. She'd been a little incredulous, until he'd led the way inside. They had only talked a little, but his quietness had actually had more of an affect on her than if he had talked the day away. She liked him, but she had no idea if she could love him.

They had stopped for ice cream on the way back - he'd insisted on walking her back home, and she had welcomed the exercise. Plus, it was a courtesy that hadn't been offered to her in a long time. Most people just assumed she could take care of herself, because she had been a soldier.

She could take care of herself, but it was nice to know someone thought of her safety, every now and then.

It was during a lull in the conversation that he had asked quietly, “Could I hold your hand?”

Her heart had paused, and inner voice, usually so vocal, fell silent.

“Sure,” she had whispered, and a second later, the warmth of another human reached out to her and grasped her securely.

So. This was what it was like, when the other person cared. It sent her heart soaring… and plummeting.

All the things she had excused Duo from - the signs of tenderness, the show of caring, any affection for her at all - Todd wiped away all her excuses, and she was faced with the truth - Duo just didn't care about her. Not like that.

It hurt to realize, but even as she did, that warm grasp tugged at her.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and she realized there were tears in her eyes.

“I'm fine,” she said, relaxing. He wasn't Duo, that was true… but she was beginning to see some advantages in that.

When she returned from the date, he was gone, and she found a note in the kitchen, saying he had gone out with Trowa.

Hilde had sighed, just picturing the circus performer, rolling his eyes at Duo, and finally knocking him out when his drunken behavior got too bad.

It was 3:00 before they returned, Trowa supporting his friend's body as they weaved through the hall.

Hilde had heard the front door opening, and had found her robe, wrapping it tightly around herself before going to Duo's room and pulling a few towels out.

Trowa nodded to her as he walked in, and she grasped Duo's other side, the two of them levering him into the shower.

She turned on the cold water, soaking his head and shoulders with it, wrinkling her nose as the fumes began to wash out.

“It was worse than usual,” Trowa said, and she turned to him in surprise.

Normally he had nothing to say to her.

“Do you know… has he been having dreams again?”

“Dreams?” she asked, confused.

“About the war,” he clarified.

“Oh. I… I don't know. He doesn't… he doesn't talk to me about that anymore.”

A brief rising of brows told her Trowa had been surprised.

She looked away, feeling the familiar pain.

“He doesn't really open up to me. Not as much as people think he does,” she said by way of explanation.

“Hn.”

The ex-pilot walked out of the bathroom and could be heard rummaging around Duo's room.

Hilde turned the water off - Duo was groaning, but not yet coherent, so it looked to be a long night. She pulled his braid loose - it was soaking and smelled of the alcohol he had consumed.

She squeezed out all the water she could, then used one of the towels to wrap his hair.

“You're good at that,” Trowa said, and she jumped slightly at his returned presence.

“Only from practice,” she said, a slight bitterness entering the words. It had happened so many times, she was only surprised at the disappointment she felt when it happened again. Her heart did not like to give up its hope, when it concerned Duo.

“I laid out a few blankets,” he said, and she sent him a look of gratitude. It meant that much less of a mess to clean up in the morning.

They dragged him back to the bedroom, only a few drops of water falling onto the floor in the process.

Hilde wrapped the second towel around him, then laid him on the blankets.

She stood then, and stretched. Her body would be yelling tomorrow for carrying all that dead weight around.

“Thanks for your help,” she told Trowa, walking him out.

“Sure. I suppose it's the least I can do, since he won't take care of himself for you.”

She shut the door after him, a deep pain blossoming in her heart.

Since he won't take care of himself for you.

That was exactly it. And oh, how it tore at her. What told her, in the end, how much he truly cared about her.

You're a fool, Hilde, she told herself, closing the door on her drunken friend and going back to her room for a restless night.

It was a time of discovery for her, a time to realize spring could come, after fire and wind and war had torn apart their lives. After winter had wrecked its damage - there could be fresh flowers, waiting on her doorstep.

She rejoiced in the feeling of a new love, and without really noticing it, became a kind of love herself.

Duo saw it, recognized it for what it was, and drank heavily on the nights she was gone. She didn't always find out - he often begged Trowa not to take him back, and the circus performer would sigh, and then agree. It wasn't as though Cathy was there to chastise his behavior anymore.

The junkyard was more successful than ever - between Duo's expertise with machines, and Hilde's creativity, more people were attracted to the raw materials that could be found from the garbage of the war.

There were a lot of things made from the junk by Hilde's hands, several which had found their unerring way into the house. The others, though, were sold.

They were making profit for once, not just getting by.

Life seemed good - charmed, even.

They had been seeing each other for a month now, Duo calculated, and peeked around the kitchen door. Hilde was busy putting groceries away, humming to herself, a contented look on her face.

It drew him, perhaps even more than her compassion for him had before.

He just longed to be in her presence. But… but he forced himself away, each and every time. He had wanted her to find a new life after the war, and it finally looked like she would. He just hadn't expected it to hurt him so much.

It was with a pang of regret that he turned away this time, only to hear the phone ring shrilly.

This wasn't all that unusual these days, but very few calls came on their house phone; most came through the office, for orders or to see when the junkyard was open.

“Hello?” came Hilde's voice, and Duo found himself stopping outside the door, eavesdropping.

“Todd? Hey, how are you?” He could barely hear a static noise from where he stood, and was forced to listen to the one-sided responses from Hilde.

“That's great. I'm so happy for you.”

There was something like joy filtering through her voice, and he leaned back, letting one eye seek out her form.

She was leaning against the counter, one hand idly playing with the short black locks of hair.

“Um hm. Right. Of course, it's no problem.”

She pushed away from the counter and stood, her profile turning towards him.

He felt himself tense, and asked himself immediately why.

A second later it was glaringly obvious - she was relaxed, happy.

Her whole body radiated peace and serenity, and her face glowed with the glory of fresh love.

Being in love suited her, he noted bitterly. Being in love with `Todd' suited her.

“Don't even worry about it. This is more important for you, and your family. Please - don't apologize again.”

Duo realized he had been ignoring the conversation in light of watching Hilde, and he pulled away, paying more attention.

“Be safe. Good luck with the project. You know I'll be thinking about you.” She paused, listening. “Yeah, yeah, I'll see you when you get back. Bye Todd.”

She hung up the phone, looking wistfully off into the distance.

She never would have believed it to be possible - to care for someone else so much, after so many years of being alone, or feeling alone.

“Duo!” she yelled, and a thump came from the stairs.

A second later Duo appeared, face flushed.

“What's up?” he asked, hanging off the doorframe.

“Where do you feel like going to dinner?” she asked, setting her hip against the counter and regarding him with an amused eye.

He looked as though he'd half-fallen down the stairs, rather than walking down them.

“Dinner?” his attention perked up, despite an effort not to.

“Yeah. Todd has to stay on L-453 for another week, because his project is going to the finals.” She smiled at him, and he gave a strained smile back.

“That's good,” he tried, and she nodded enthusiastically.

“It really is. He's been trying to do something to support his family more efficiently, and this just might be his breakthrough.” She paused, her mind in the clouds.

“How about Jerry's?” she asked, and Duo scrambled to catch up.

“Jerry's?”

“For dinner, silly,” she teased him, and turned to finish putting away her bags.

“Here, I'll help you with that,” he volunteered, and she sent him a grateful look.

“Jerry's sounds fine,” he said a little while later, and she smiled.

“Okay!”

It was their place - or at least, he liked to think that. So far as he knew, none of their friends had ever been there, and Hilde had never brought anyone either. He was tempted to ask her if Todd had been, but didn't want to hear the answer.

“It's been so long since we've been here, I wonder if Sam and Ginny still remember us,” she said, skipping ahead of him.

He breathed an inward sigh of relief, and smiled at her mood. If nothing else, her new `friend' had brought about a wonderful attitude change, that didn't just help Hilde, but Duo too. He was grateful for it - even if he hated the reason for it.

“I doubt they could forget us,” he said dryly, and she laughed.

The couple who owned the restaurant had confused the two young people's genders the first time they had come, and all four had had a good laugh over it.

Duo tugged at his hair thoughtfully, wondering how many people saw them together, and wondered at how opposite they could look.

Hilde had a rough beauty, one he had always appreciated, on a brotherly level, but she had begun to soften after the war - at this point, there was no mistaking what gender Hilde was, with the gentle way her short hair framed her pixie face, the light dusting of make-up only accentuating her natural beauty. He felt a familiar thump in his heart, something that happened any time he looked too closely at his friend.

As for him… he had once been called a pretty-boy for his looks and especially his long hair. Now though… now he had lines that told of a harsh past, and even a harsh present. That, though, was his own fault. Drinking did things to you.

He might have refused to have his hair cut off, but with one glare all the `pretty-boy' comments dried up. If not his flashing eyes, his fists told people soon enough to avoid him.

Opposites they surely were.

And yet, he couldn't imagine them any different.

With a wry smile he followed her inside, hoping the evening wouldn't push the painful boundaries he'd set up for himself.

Todd ended up staying for two weeks, and in that time they talked everyday on the phone.

Hilde worried for a bit about the phone bill, but Todd had laughed it off.

“It's worth it, to hear your voice.”

She had blushed, and been unable to respond.

That was one thing that worried her - her reaction to his compliments.

She had never been one for lots of blushes, being more prone to tripping over her own words and stumbling around clumsily, rather than taking them in a semi-mature fashion.

She didn't believe she could change so drastically… and so she had to wonder what her true feelings were for him.

In the meantime, Duo hung around the periphery, and she wondered at it - he had never verbalized any discomfort with her new relationship, and yet the distance had come between them anyways.

She didn't fall apart around him as much, but then, he wasn't around as much. And her love hadn't diminished one iota… it just… hurt less, now that someone else was providing her with love in turn.

At the end of two weeks, she was convinced that she was only using Todd, and had nightmares about his returning and telling her she was slime. She had very disturbing dreams about this.

It used to be, when Duo had a nightmare or Hilde began to talk in her sleep, that they would come find one another. But ever since Duo had stopped sharing his nightmares with her, she had felt uncomfortable seeking him out about her own problems.

It had really hurt, because it was an obvious way in which they had disconnected. She tried not to let it show, though, because he already had so much to struggle with.

I shouldn't add to his load, had been her thought, and so they went on, separate and hurting, even worse than before.

On this particular evening, her whimpering had gotten so bad that she had woken herself up, sitting frigidly in bed, eyes wide with sweat dripping off her hair.

She slid out of bed painfully, feeling her tense muscles scream at the stretching. It must have been a bad dream, to have tightened up like that. She grabbed a long jacket and stumbled outside, tears falling as she sat on the steps.

Every now and then a shudder would rack her body, and more tears would fall.

She couldn't do it any more - couldn't keep seeing Todd.

He had moved her beyond the sadness, beyond the pain… but she could never stop loving Duo, could never care for anyone more than she cared for Duo.

Suddenly, she wondered if Todd even knew about Duo - even knew who he was.

A brittle laugh tore from her. What a fool she was - he didn't know her, and she'd never really known him. If he didn't even know her best friend, then he couldn't possibly have seen the depths of her personality, of her soul. It had been nice, being admired and sought after - he had answered some of the questions that had begun to spin in her head since Duo had come along: Am I beautiful? Am I worth it? Will I ever be romanced?

He had said, by his actions and his presents and his looks just for her: Yes.

She sighed. It took me so long to realize… could it be that I've missed it all this time?

“I'm such a fool,” she muttered, more tears falling from her eyes. “Such a fool.”

Suddenly arms surrounded her, lifting her up.

She grasped at a shoulder, and looked up into dark blue, stormy eyes.

“Don't say that,” he said harshly. “Don't ever say that about yourself.”

She buried her face into his neck, fresh tears surfacing.

It hurt so badly to have him care, but not to love. Hurt, hurt, hurt.

And yet, for tonight, she would accept that he cared. Maybe someday, she could be content with that.

The morning sun struck just between his eyelids, and he tried to bury his head into his pillow, with no success. There was no pillow. He opened his eyes slowly, adjusting.

He wasn't in his own room, for one. He didn't have a pillow, or a blanket, for two. He wasn't alone, for three.

He turned his head sideways and regarded his housemate, still out cold. He finally remembered what had happened.

It was as though a dam had broken, and tears had just poured forth. He was uncomfortable with it, to say the least, but at the same time, that heart-wrenching sound had kept him by her side.

He'd tucked her back into bed, jacket and all, and laid down beside her, mumbling softly to her.

He didn't know what had upset her so badly, but he had often heard her, the past week, muttering in the night. It was when she had gotten up and left the house that he had been worried enough to go after her.

To hear her was to go to her, for he couldn't bear to see her in so much pain. It had been sweet misery to hold her in his arms, to have her lean on him as never before.

She made him want to be strong, just so he could support her.

But that's not your job, now is it Maxwell? He chastised himself.

He should leave before she awoke, before she realized how badly he had acted last night.

He got up and walked out, though it felt as though his heart was being ripped from his body. He never noticed her eyes on his back, following the swing of his hair.

He washed in the cold water, trying to erase how much his body remembered her.

She had clung to him like a child with one last hope, and though it was utterly shameful - he'd enjoyed it. He had felt honored to hold her, to have her tiny body shake against him, making him feel like a pillar of strength in comparison. What he really was, was a hollow tree in the storm.

He braced his hands against the wall, fighting the physical effects of what holding her had done to him.

He had never mistaken Hilde for what she was - a woman - and yet recently… recently he had become more aware of her as such. Perhaps it was because she was out of reach now, and he could see her through some one else's eyes… and yet, they felt like his eyes, like his perspective.

He hoped no one else imagined her as he had seen her, every inch sweaty from a summer day's work, bare to the waist of all but a sports bra. He'd never caught fire from thinking about her body before, but now… it was like forbidden fruit. As soon as what had always been available (in theory) was snatched out of his grasp, he wanted it like never before.

Having her small but shapely limbs pressed against his for most of the night had not helped at all. Not one crazy little bit.

He smashed one fish against the wall.

“Dammit.”

A cold shower was doing nothing. He had to go running. Had to get his mind somewhere else.

Hilde lay in bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling.

What is it that I want, really? What is it that I want more than anything else in the world?

Relena had essentially asked her this, but she was determined to search out the answer this time.

“I want Duo,” she whispered minutes later, feeling her heart break at the knowledge, but feeling also a huge sense of relief.

It might be unattainable, but at least she knew. Now she just had to talk to Todd.

She glanced at the clock, and gave herself two hours before going to see him.

He had planned on getting back at 2:00, and they had agreed to meet afterwards, rather than at the spaceport.

She was glad of it now - wholly and happily glad he hadn't come earlier, for she might not have faced the same decisions.

She slid off the bed, trying to prepare herself for yet another life-altering meeting.

Hilde was gone when he returned, and he wasn't sure if he was more grateful or restless at the fact. He knew Todd was supposed to come back today, and he couldn't help but think that Hilde's tears had been over that scum bag.

Inside, he knew Todd had to be a good person, to have gained Hilde's trust, but any man who got close to Hilde, other than the Gundam pilots, made him antsy. He decided that work sounded like a good idea.

“I'm really sorry Todd,” she said quietly, as he sat there in shock. He had invited her out to lunch, and she had been unable to refuse. It had only taken their lunches appearing that her confession had poured forth.

“So… you're in love with this other guy, who doesn't care about you, and yet, you want to break up with me?” he asked, and she nodded, feeling how silly her actions would look to an outsider, and yet knowing this was the right thing to do.

“I'm really very sorry.”

He sat back, not looking at her, a troubled frown in place.

“And you can't bring yourself to love me?” he asked, and more tears struggled forth.

“Not as much as I love him,” she said softly.

He sighed, and then surprised her by saying, “I always felt that there was something you were holding back from me. I guess this was it.”

She didn't correct him - there were actually a lot of things she hadn't - couldn't - have confided in him.

One being that she was good friends with the Gundam pilots. Another that she was living with one. And finally, that she loved him.

How had she ever imagined this would work out?

“Good luck, I guess,” he said in farewell, and she bowed deeply to him.

“Thank you.”

It had taken awhile, but Duo finally noticed that Todd wasn't calling anymore, wasn't sending flowers, and Hilde wasn't talking about him. He didn't ask her, because her face was, most days, sad. It was obvious what had happened. How, he wasn't so sure about.

She felt a peace over what she had done, and for a few weeks, that sustained her. It still hurt, because, after all, she had loved him. It had surprised her, and brought her joy, but in the end, even the happiness couldn't make her ignore the truth. She was fooling herself, believing she could have a life with anyone but Duo.

Perhaps it was the war, or they way they had supported each other, two orphans struggling to save the colonies, in their own misguided ways.

Perhaps they had been too good of friends, and relied on each other too much.

Perhaps she had placed too much of her hope on him.

Perhaps… she was just meant to love him.

Either way, she couldn't forget him, couldn't leave him… couldn't bear to think of a morning when she would wake up and not see his face.

Rely on him? Her very life was dependent on him.

What a fool she was, for not seeing it before.

The only option left to her was to make him realize how badly she needed him, and convince him that he was not too dirty, not to stained - not too broken to accept her.

Her dreams returned.

She was having nightmares again, just as Duo's were fading (a result of drinking less and seeing Hilde at every meal did wonders for his constitution).

It had been a normal day, busy, and they had barely made it through dinner before stumbling off to their respective bedrooms.

She had had the dream again - the one where she was all alone, where Duo had chosen battle once more, and she had been left behind.

“No! Please come back! Please come back, Duo.”

The man in the next room heard her cries, and wondered if he should go to her.

It had been a long time since they had comforted each other, excepting the porch incident, and he was uncomfortable with the fact that it was his name being called.

Would you have preferred to hear Todd's name on her lips? His inner voice snidely remarked.

He tried to shake the feeling of rage the idea brought forth, and decided that it was worth taking the chance, if he could help her.

It's the least I can do, considering what she's been through. He thought guiltily. He still hadn't asked about the breakup, and she hadn't told. He didn't want to know.

Her sheets were on the ground when he opened the door, and her hair, which had begun to grow out, was tangled around her head.

“Hilde,” he called gently, and she moaned.

“Duo. Duo, please.”

“I'm right here,” he said, approaching, and finally realized she was still asleep.

“Duo,” she murmured, and he touched her face. So sweet. Such a sweet face, to still care about him. “Come back, Duo.”

The temptation was too much, and he'd held back for more months than he could have imagined. To hear his own name on her lips, whether distressed or for another reason, pushed him past the limits.

He leaned over the bed, pulling her body into his arms, and kissed her.

The dream had never ended quite this way, she thought groggily, fighting past the layers of fog to consciousness.

Oh.

His eyes were closed, but she knew instantly what was happening.

Thank you. Oh thank you.

She wrapped her arms about his head and pulled him down more firmly.

And for a few seconds, there was paradise. She was all welcoming warmth, and feminine strength submitting beneath him, and his hands found her hair as his tongue parted her lips.

She accepted the kiss eagerly, and a small moan of pleasure escaped.

He stilled at the noise, and pulled away, a look of dawning horror coming over his face.

“Duo,” she said quietly, feeling all the hope of a moment before fleeing her.

“No. No,” he began shaking his head, drawing back.

“Duo, please,” she said, reaching out for him, but he was already running from the room.

“No,” she whispered, and suddenly she was racing after him, down the hall and through the living room, to the kitchen, where he stood at the door, fumbling at the lock.

She jerked still, afraid of touching him. Afraid he would be only a memory in moments.

“Don't leave. Please, please don't leave.”

She was crying, wondering how it had all gone wrong so quickly.

The door banged open, and she collapsed, knowing he would keep running this time, perhaps never to return.

She let the cries rack her body, not caring how lost she became this time. It didn't matter, if he wasn't there.

But something…something made him turn back, take a second look. She wasn't even looking after him, consumed by grief on the floor, reminiscent of…

Just like… his mind blurred, recalling that pose, those sounds.

The slam of the front door had him falling out of bed faster than his mind could catch up. The sounds of her weeping came through the hallway, and he paused, unsure of what to do. He'd never been good with her nightmares, but crying was even worse. This was terrible - it was as though her heart - his heart - was being wrenched out and broken.

“I'm such a fool.” He heard, and his eyes widened. Those broken tones… they couldn't be Hilde. Hilde never lost hope, never lost her spirit. “Such a fool.” He couldn't stand to hear any more. Before he could stop himself, his arms were reaching for her. “Don't say that,” he said harshly. “Don't ever say that about yourself.”

He tried not to panic. It was just like before. The same brokenness, the same hurting, racking sobs. He couldn't take her pain, and yet, he couldn't walk away from her. Not like this.

“Please stop, Hilde,” he begged her softly, stepping inside and falling against the wall, restraining himself with the last shreds of control he had. He couldn't touch her again. It would be too much.

“Please stop.”

Her head turned toward him, and her cries became silent. He watched her, feeling more pain than ever before. Why was it like this? Why were they always hurting?

“Please,” she whispered, and his eyes flickered to her face.

She was mouthing something, many somethings, and yet the tears and the shaking of her body interrupted his ability to make it out.

Please. Please. Why can't you just approach me? Why can't you let me love you? Why can't you choose to love me? Please stop running away from me. Please.

“Please… Duo. Please.”

He shuddered, having understood through her eyes. He didn't dare to touch her, for fear they would both break. And yet, she was dragging herself across the floor, the tears on her lashes reflecting a last hope.

“Please. Please accept me. Duo.”

He couldn't move. Perhaps a stronger man would have given her back her life, a real chance to be happy. A real man would have turned her away.

But he wanted her so badly. Wanted this friend, who showed him how she cared in every aspect of her life. He wanted to stay by her side.

The touch of her hand was like a shock of lightening, and he jerked, surprised.

She was pulling herself up now, a desperate look in her eyes.

“Please don't run away from me, Duo.”

And for once, he decided to stay. Decided that his fears should take a back seat to what she believed she needed.

“It's okay. I'm here,” he said, and she smiled radiantly, the tears dazzling him, before finding his mouth with her own, and holding on as tightly as she could.

When his arms came around her, holding her more tightly than she had ever dreamed he would, she knew it was over. And just beginning.

“Duo, get off the roof before you kill yourself!” Hilde called, and got a wave of the hand for her trouble. They had never celebrated a holiday at the junk yard, and for some reason, Duo really wanted to celebrate this one.

“Our first together,” he'd said quietly, and after that, she couldn't refuse him.

“Don't blame me when you spend Thanksgiving in the hospital,” she muttered, wondering when Duo had first developed the streak for taking risks, such as setting a sign up on their creaky roof.

“What am I talking about,” she asked herself. “He was a Gundam pilot.” She rolled her eyes, and hoped her roommate knew his own limits.

“Look, no wounds,” he teased from the doorway a moment later, and she gave a sigh of the long-suffering.

Lunch was going to be a simple salad with sandwiches, but she had only begun the salad.

Duo, watching her, suddenly stole the vegetables, and ignoring her indignant yelp, slid them back into the refrigerator. “Duo, what are you -” she broke off when his arms encircled her waist, his lips on her throat, nuzzling.

“Duo,” she began, and suddenly wrinkled her nose. “Duo, you smell.”

He backed off with a laugh, and a mischievous look in his eyes.

“So come take a shower with me,” he offered.

“I need to finish dinner,” she said, slightly annoyed by his too-easy manner.

It turned out, she didn't have a choice.

“Duo!” she yelled, as he slung her over his shoulder and jogged upstairs. “We don't have time for this!”

He locked the bathroom door and began working on her pants as she hammered his back with her fists. It did no good, not that she was surprised. She had learned he was more built than his slight frame gave him credit for.

“Duo…” she growled, and he stopped for a moment.

“Do we really not have time, or are you just spouting off nonsense?” he asked, and she paused at his more serious tone.

“I suppose we do,” she finally admitted, and he chuckled, happy at winning the argument.

“I'm glad you have time for me, little girl,” he teased, watching as her eyes flamed at the quasi-insult.

She hated comments about her too-young appearance, and even jests at her height could still get her riled. The moment of silence should have warned him, as in the next she had swung her weight forward, sending him to the ground. She saved herself from falling by putting out her hands and moving from a handstand to her feet.

He was quickly up again, his glance judging her rage, and a second later he took off, Hilde chasing close after into the bedroom, then into the bathroom where yelling turned to laughter.

In the shower, she pulled at his hair, down to business first, and he submitted to the washing.

Soap was used lavishly on both hair and bodies, and they rinsed off quickly. She ran her fingers through the long strands a final time, checking for tangles, and he caught her hands. Pulling her around, he kissed her left hand, where a thin silver band rested, and then joined it with the matching one on his right, kissing her deeply.

“Come on,” he whispered, a smile in his eyes, and she gladly followed him.

“Two weeks now, Hilde my love.”

She smiled, glad he was keeping count as well.

His smile echoed hers, a look of smug satisfaction resting there. He placed a gentle kiss against her lips, and murmured, “You really are beautiful, dear wife.”

All of my life

I've been in hiding

Wishing there was someone just like you

Now that you're here

Now that I've found you

I know that you're the one to pull me through

- David Crowder Band