Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ A Lover's Pain ❯ Chapter Three ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Gundam Wing or its characters

A Lover's Pain

Chapter Three

Noin stared blankly at the empty doorway and couldn't for the life of her understand what had just happened. She shook herself and blamed it on her emotional state not particularly liking her reaction. Dismissing the incident as nothing worth worrying over and shoved it to the back of her mind, she turned to the man who was still standing beside her. Her curiosity over his actions consuming her attention.

He smiled at her, amused at the emotions that crossed her face. He had long ago grown cynical when it came to emotions. To see a woman with such outstanding military status expose her emotions for everyone to see, was amazing. He knew she had much to learn when it came to manipulations between relationships but the question was did she want to learn?

Noin blinked and returned his smile.

He examined her and realized that she was incredibly innocent, didn't she realize she shouldn't trust him? All of a sudden pain exploded into his stomach and the air whooshed out of his lungs. He bent over struggling for oxygen as his vision darkened, red spots bursting into the back of his eyelids.

Noin grabbed his hair and jerked his face towards hers. "That's what you get for kissing me without my permission," she hissed into his ear.

He recovered quickly and retaliated by repeating her action and punching her in the stomach.

She bent over, clutching her stomach, winded and knew that they now had the entire lobby's attention but she didn't care.

"Stop it," he hissed into her ear. "We're attracting attention, we can finish this off in my hotel suit but not here."

He was right, she realized, as much as she wanted to kick his ass right then and there. She couldn't. Not unless she wanted to attract more attention then she already had. She couldn't seem to understand what was happening to her. She was never impulsive or for that matter so emotional. Why was she behaving this way?

She had her heart broken but knew it wasn't enough reason to take it out on people. She sighed, suddenly so very tired. All she wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed, pretending that today had never happened. But she knew she couldn't. She straightened up and looked at him somberly and nodded.

He smiled seeing the understanding in her eyes and grabbed her again before planting a kiss on her lips.

God DAMMIT!!! Noin thought furiously, she hadn't even seen it coming!

She remined still not wanting to attract any more attention and suffered his kiss in silence, this time not giving into his expertly moving mouth. He broke away and raised an eyebrow at her, before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Let people think it was just another lovers spat and that we've made up." He told her and directed her towards the elevators.

Noin gritted her teeth and played along. She should have just left and not bothered with the mission, after all, it was not like she was being forced or anything. But she didn't want to be around when Milliardo got married. She couldn't bear the fact that they would marry and live happily ever after whilst she was stuck loving a man that didn't even love her. Watching silently and miserably as Dorothy got her happiness with Milliardo and she got nothing. After all her efforts to the contrary she still ended up with nothing.

As much as she wanted to stop loving him, she couldn't and what terrified her more was that she would never stop loving him. Perhaps it was better this way she thought, if she left.

The elevator doors slid open and they stepped in. He pressed the number of the floor he was staying on and they waited quietly, not bothering to talk to one another.

She had made her decision. She didn't care anymore. She was going on the mission. Lady Une had informed her that it was long term and that she wouldn't be back for years and even then she wouldn't make it out alive. Then so be it, she had already wasted her life for a dream. Now she would do what she had wanted to do since she found out about Milliardo's engagement.

She wanted to die.

~/~

They finally reached his hotel room without incident and Noin was relieved. She didn't feel up to any more arguments, she was just plain tired. She sighed and examined his hotel room that was more like a suite then anything else. It was expensive with thick white carpet and white coloured furniture.

To Noin, wealth had rarely been part of her life style she had always felt intimidated by it. She walked towards the large windows and was rewarded with an extraordinary view. The moon shone brightly in its crescent cycle and from here she could watch the world move in silence.

"Do you want a drink?" a voice asked from behind her.

Noin jumped startled and realized she had completely forgotten about him. She turned and watched him as he poured a glass of white wine.

"No thank you." She replied turning back to the view. "What is your name? Or is it too late to ask?"

He leaned against the bar, amused and answered her question. "My name is Mitchell."

"No last name?"

"No last name." He confirmed. "Where I come from last names are mere alias and not used for much else."

Noin wasn't sure as what to say, he just confirmed that whoever he was, he was not trustworthy. "So your saying that you have no real last name but you have many different last names?"

"Yes"

Noin turned and smiled at him, even though she didn't trust him, she was willing to give him a chance. She had come across far too many people like him to be afraid. She knew how to protect herself when she needed to, she hadn't been trying when it came to fighting against him because she had wanted to find out what he was up to. And some part of her wanted to use him as revenge to get back at Milliardo for the emotional pain he had caused her. She sighed, even that had backfired on her.

"So what is my mission?" she asked abruptly.

He could read her like an open book and knew exactly what was going through her head. She was thinking about that blond-haired man. He shook his head feeling pity for the woman. Didn't she know that she was leaving herself open for the enemy? He wasn't too sure she would be able to do the mission. The mission was too important to be relied upon by a woman who couldn't control her emotions or at least hide them.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that until you know what you're getting yourself into."

"Oh?" she queried "And what will I be getting myself into?"

Noin was amused she knew exactly what she was getting into, she was going to get herself killed and she wanted that with every fiber of her being.

He shook his head. "No you don't know what you're getting yourself into. You think this is just like any ordinary mission, go in, get the bad guy and come out? Whether your life is at risk or not?" he asked but not expecting an answer since he could read it from her face. "Well it's not. You're going undercover for a long time. Not a week, not a month. I'm talking about years here. You will be without outside help of any kind. When you're in a tough situation no one is going to be there to save you. Do you understand?"

Noin glared at him but she understood, she wasn't going to die anytime soon.

"Good." He saw that she understood and continued. "This is no simple undercover mission and quite frankly I don't think you should do this mission."

Noin stiffened. "What?" she asked sharply.

He smiled but his eyes turned icy cold, his earlier relaxed and amused behaviour dropped. Revealing the true man beneath the charming exterior. There was no emotion, his eyes showed a man who saw too much and cared too little.

Noin's eyes narrowed on him as icy as his own, she was right when she thought she shouldn't trust him. He was a killer, she could see it, she could practically smell it. She prepared herself for anything but her body remained relaxed hiding the tension within her. "Why do you think that I shouldn't do this mission?" she asked, since she had the credentials and experience to do the mission.

He compressed his lips. "Because it involves you sleeping around and fucking people to get information." He stated bluntly seeing the horror that entered her face. "Can you do it? Can you? Because I don't think so. You're a bloody fucking virgin for Christ sake." The scorn clearly evident in his tone.

Noin turned away, unable to face him and stared blindly out the window. She struggled to swallow past the lump that formed in her throat and knew that she was going to burst into tears if she didn't do something soon. All she had wanted was for Milliardo to love her was that wrong? She was so ashamed, she was a fool she knew that. She was twenty-nine years old and still hoping for her crush to take her virginity. She had been saving herself for him in the belief that he would suddenly realize he loved her too, was that so wrong?

She couldn't seem to pull herself together and was even more ashamed that he was witnessing it. Her loss of control over her emotions. He was right, could she really give herself without thought? Without conscience? Was she willing to be become something she was not?

So many questions were rolling in her head, she needed to think, THINK!! She rubbed her hand over her brow hoping that it would somehow conjure up answers. But it didn't. Well she thought at least she wasn't going to cry. That must be something.

She chuckled, surprising herself. She stared at her reflection, confused. What was wrong with her? Why was she behaving like this? God! More questions! She just wanted everything to be back to normal. Back to when Milliardo was her best friend. Back to when they actually talked and joked around.

Back to when she hadn't fallen in love with him.

She needed to get away, she couldn't stay here any longer she realized as a desperate feeling for fresh open air pressed down on her. She needed to get out. She turned, struggling to hide her emotions and whispered "I'll be back to give you my answer sometime tonight." And she fled, leaving his hotel suit, leaving the hotel and everything she had dreamed and hoped for.

She quickly got into her car and turned the ignition on before burning rubber in her desperation to leave. She turned her car shaply, her tires squealing and drove away with alarming speed. The window was turned down, letting the cold air rush in and up against her face. Her hair flew wildly around her but she didn't care. All the more better if she crashed and died from her lack of vision. She drove wildly at high speed, swerving around cars that were in her way as if it were a high speed car chase.

She just needed to get away. Away she thought wildly, AWAY!! From her humiliation, her shame, her unrequited love, her pain. So much pain. It boiled in her chest slowly burning her heart. God! It hurt! It hurt so much.

She drove onto the highway, not caring where she was going as cars honked at her and swerved away to avoid her speeding car. Noin slammed her foot down harder on the accelerator, pushing the car's engine to it's limits. It burst forward recklessly and zoomed wildly past cars that were in her path.

She turned sharply off the highway to winding hazard roads. She didn't know how far she'd been driving or for how long and to her it didn't matter.

Suddenly the sky thundered with lightning before it's churning black clouds burst open with rain. It poured down heavily, obscuring her view.

Noin smiled, her eyes glittered with a feverish light as she drove recklessly on.

She didn't bother to turn her swipers on as she drove through a large puddle of mud, splattering it over the windscreen. Water rushed in through her open window, drenching her hair and face as the wind slammed against her.

The car swerved wildly, the tires without traction, struggling to dig into the dirt without success. She felt an exhilaration as she deliberately turned the driving wheel every which way. The adrenalin rushing into her system as the car swung around, slipping on the wet and muddy road.

The roar of thunder and rain drowned out any possible sound. Lightning flashed through the sky.

Faster the car spun, spinning recklessly out of control.

Noin laughed and pressed down harder on the accelerator. She felt the car spin over something before it began to soar into the air. The ground dropped from underneath her car as it nose dived through sky. She couldn't see anything and for a moment something flashed before her eyes. She felt the jarring impact of her car crashing to the ground. Pain exploded into her body, she could hear screaming and laughter all at once. It was close she thought, until she realized it was coming from her.

Blackness consumed her vision until she could see nothing else and she smiled, so this was what death was like.

Before slipping into nothingness.