Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters

A Lover's Pain

Chapter Five

Noin hung on tightly and whimpered as she stared down at her dangling feet, hanging so high above. Oh, god, she could barely breathe through the restriction in her chest. She closed her eyes and struggled to overcome the panic that was over riding her brain but was proven unsuccessful. Was this it? Was she going to die? And why was she so against her death? When hours before she wanted to die? When she couldn't even imagine life without Milliardo?

She giggled at that thought as suddenly the events of the past hours hit her. She could let go and fall to her death. She wouldn't even have to live with Milliardo marrying Dorothy. If she lived through this, he would follow his path without her and she would be stuck behind - watching. An outsider looking in on what cannot be hers. She didn't belong with him and he didn't belong with her. He never had. He belonged to someone else, someone who was on the same social hierarchy as he, whilst she was a simple soldier's daughter, nothing more.

Her arms were beginning to pain her and she laughed. All she needed to do was let go. Let go and she would be free from her emotions, from this weakness. Because that was what it was, her love for Milliardo was a weakness. A weakness that would eat at her, slowly taking a piece of her until there was nothing left. Wouldn't it be better if she ended it now?

Her arms were beginning to tire, the feeling in her hands and shoulders were disappearing. How long could she hold on? Before her hands gave out?

The sharp pain in her chest, dulled to a throbbing and she realized with a sense of detachment that she was wet.

The sky was eerily calm, an occasional lightning would strike the sky bringing it with a clap of thunder, the air was heavy - thick with rain that would soon return. It was cold, she knew that and the fact that her body was reacting to it, made holding onto the branch all the harder. Her body shivered compulsively and her fingers automatically tightened. She was tired so very tired. She felt drained. It would be so easy to let go. So easy to fall and let gravity do it's work.

She opened her eyes and saw the still burning car and then looked at the sky. With it's flashes of lightning and the booming of thunder echoing through out the cliffs. The moon suddenly appeared, lighting up the rocky walls around her. For some odd reason she felt calm looking at it. And she knew - she knew that this moment in her life was up. She didn't want to live anymore and life wasn't worth it to suffer the pain that seemed to tear her insides. She smiled for what felt like a long time and staring at the moon - she let go.