Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ A Thousand Paper Cranes ❯ Sunrise ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Title: A Thousand Paper Cranes
Chp1: Sunrise
Rating: PG
Some Shoujo-ai content
The poetry here in is my original creations please do not steal them.
Gundam Wing and the characters do not belong to me in any way. I am just borrowing.
********************************************************************

She lies low with me
Resting her tired head on my shoulder
To whisper her worries
And she wants to sing a song
That's deeper and sadder
Perhaps even happier and lighter
Than she can bare
And as the lamplights dim
The sun begins its quick rise
She refuses to cry and clings instead
To the comfort of my embrace
You know sometimes she thinks I'm strong
But you know I've been weaker than can be imagined
So we sit on the bed as the sky turns red
And I tell her that I'll help her if I can
We are ready for sleep
But some wounds cut too deep
A little silence will do
To replace one night's dreams
****************************************

The sun was always a much unwelcome companion to her, especially after an evening of embracing the paler light of the moon. It was her nature she found to be made of moonlight, and her physical being reflected that sentiment greatly as her hair was an ashen shade of blonde, her skin could be almost ghostly pale, and her eyes were as the grey clouds that swept across the face of a full moon. She held a great respect for the things that happened in the dark, just as she suspected her one true enemy, sometimes lover (always they attracted and repelled each other), held a deep regard for the things that occurred in the light.

Dorothy walked slowly through the pristine hallways of Relena Darlain's (she could never stomach the thought of calling the girl a Peacecraft) palace and marveled at how easily the ash of the princess's defeat was so easily repaired and glossed over. How with a simple stroke of a brush and a bit of new plaster a wall was repaired and no sign of wear or battle remained. She felt, as the morning began to stir the inner workings of the palace (servants scattering, guests dressing, guards rotating in and out of shifts) that things were too easily forgotten by buildings and the people who wanted to repair them.

There had been a fire within those halls, bullets sprayed against the glass, and soldiers trampled over the dream of a peaceful kingdom, but with five years passed and gone the building was whole again and unscarred. She herself did not feel as lucky as the building she treaded through. She herself lost nights of sleep to her own warring actions and the things she had seen others do, she who was someone who believed, and still did, in the necessity of fighting, but with less lust than before. It bothered her that the palace was rebuilt and void of injury, it bothered her greatly as did most of the speeches she had ever heard Relena give out (poisoned chocolates to unwitting children) to the world and the colonies.

Lost in her thoughts she walked passed the turn to her own room and quickly found herself in the kitchen. The staff ignored her intrusion bustling around her preparing breakfast, brunch, tea, and even the beginnings of lunch were well on the way. Realizing her mistake she turned back for her room, grinning inwardly at how well behaved she was for not stabbing into one of the cooks for his backhanded insult towards her error. She could have been vicious, she could have said something that would have put him in his place and made him feel like a rodent, but she was extra forgiving that morning as she was extra contemplative about her fate.

Dorothy understood that saying yes to Relena's invitation was a mistake. She understood that living in the old palace and playing nice with certain ex-soldiers and pilots would weigh on her and try what little patience she had towards those certain people. But more importantly she understood that agreeing had another price that she was not so willing to pay. In fact she out right refused the charges of that particular bill. And thus far everything was going well for her…

"Lost?"

The sound of his voice was as simply brooding as ever, dark in tone but well meaning in the question. Dorothy breathed a sigh of something that was nearly relief, but probably sounded like irritation. There was a part of her that was afraid she would never get another chance to talk to Heero Yuy ever again. And there was a part of her that was a little afraid to even venture down what seemed an ugly road far away in a desperately vile past. She turned to him and managed to refrain from putting on a show, the show of the bemused goddess granting an audience.

"No not lost," she stated softly, "Although I did manage a rather nice job of missing my room."

"Hn," was his lamentable reply and he watched with those darkly intriguing blue eyes of his as she grinned.

It was her opinion that he understood Relena as well if not better than she did. It was also of her opinion that while he wanted to protect his ex-princess he could not be the prince to complete the fairy tale. Dorothy respected that about him, and she respected that he could say so much with such a simple noise as "Hn."

He crossed his arms over his chest and asked, "How long have you been living here?"

"Nearly six months now. I bet you thought I had gotten the same strange invitation that she sent to everyone else." She tried not to sound too happy about her presumption.

"Is she retiring?"

The straight forwardness of the question took her off guard; it wasn't that she didn't believe Heero capable of guessing the purpose of the massive invite, but that he figured she would actually know what the party was for. In point of fact she had absolutely no idea why Relena was having the gathering, she could only make the guess that Heero had.

"I actually don't know. I'm not privy to her every whim."

"I suppose…I had thought that perhaps-"

"Oh come now Heero are you actually going say it? I wouldn't, but that is only because nothing is to be presumed."

He nodded in strange acknowledgement and then walked off slowly towards the library.


**************************************
She loves me at times
I see in her eyes that she wants
But she wants what is cold
An icy prison to freeze her thoughts
To calm a fire grown wild
A forest deeply over grown
She waits for me to come to her
She waits in the dark for my touch
But I know better than to give in
And in denying her
I've found another bed to drown my passion
*********************************************

Entering the crisp and fresh lightness of her untouched and unused bedroom, (only unused for that evening, only untouched just for one night in the entire six months she had been there), Dorothy let loose an audible click (nasty habit of hers clicking her tongue but she could never seem to grow out of it) of vexation at the sight of a diplomat lying in her bed. The young woman was clearly asleep, honey blonde hair pulled back, but still lengths of it sticking to her face.

The young woman stirred at the weight of Dorothy sitting on the bed. She cleared a bit of sleep from her blue eyes, stretched her arms and smiled briefly at the sight of the returned goddess. And then she frowned noting the look of unhappiness washed in the stormy grey eyes of the woman she wanted to love. Relena swung her legs over the edge of the opposite side of the bed, shoulders rolling forward in waiting for the question that was inevitably coming.

"How long have you been waiting here for me," Dorothy asked in a low tone that felt stern and distant.

The ex-princess shrugged though she knew the other woman was not watching her and then sighed in away that meant she understood her defeat but did not accept it. She breathed out the words as if they were a eulogy to what was lost between the two of them, "I've been waiting since after supper last night. You stayed out all night I see. I know you can stay out in the gardens for lengths of time when the moon is bright…but-"

"Relena," she turned to view the back of the honey blonde diplomat and continued with a soft, "You shouldn't wait for me. You should have gone back to your room when you saw I was not here."

"I know."

"Then why wait?"

"Who were you with?"

Storm gray eyes shut and she took a moment to refrain from yelling, to keep from arguing because to argue with Relena was just another way of giving in to what she no longer wanted. She was tired of the play. Tired of the game they played, for it had already lasted too long with no clear victor save time. So, she stood from the bed and walked over to the small vanity at the other side of the room, sat, removed her hair band and began to brush out her hair.

After the twentieth stroke of the brush through her hair Dorothy said simply, "It is not really any of your concern, after all we are not lovers, and have not been for a…very long time. However, let me assure your more jealous side that I was with no one."

"I-"

"I shouldn't have come back," was the quick interruption, "and I'll be leaving once this gathering you've called is through. We can't even be friends Relena…we can't even try because you still want to play and I've long since left the game."

There was little left to be said after that. The defeated diplomat removed herself from the room and Dorothy finished brushing out her hair. In her throat the stormy eyed young woman could feel a lump of regret forming, and it wanted desperately for her to cry. She refused though stepping away from the vanity to the closet to pull out already packed suitcases. She placed her hand on one and whispered to the room a secret, something that only old walls made new could keep.

************************************
In a way
I wanted to wish for something lighter than this
I wanted a story bold and true
I wanted an ending with a sunset view
But it strikes me now
And it always had
That we can only end one way
We can only pretend
For happy endings never looked so false
Than when you whispered I love yous
As I walked out
************************************

The evening came too quickly and people rushed from a glorious dinner to a sterling party that was more glitter than many were used to. Dorothy had spent most of her evening exchanging bizarre glances from Heero and Relena from a distant corner in which she attempted to find pleasure in her conversation with some ex-soldier of OZ who was at least charmingly bitter. She could tell by the way he spoke and the things he spoke about that she could like him given better circumstances. Unfortunately she was not up for the role of beguiling goddess, and vexing Devil's advocate, which were the roles she played rather well especially towards unsuspecting people like the one time soldier she was talking to. She stepped out of her conversation just long enough to retrieve a cup of the champagne punch and have a disturbing little chat with one of the ex-Gundam pilots about justice and its higher meanings when a grateful savior stepped in.

Quatre still looked the young and caring youth she knew him to be. It had taken her two years before she could even conceive of seeking him out and speaking with him, but once she did she found herself welcome and much forgiven. He grinned at her as he approached.

"Good evening Dorothy," he said and nodded towards his fellow ex-pilot before continuing, "care to dance?"

"I'd love to. You will beg my pardon for stepping out on what has been…nothing short of an intriguing conversation Mr. Chang," she said with her usual clever lilt.

The dance was a bit awkward, if only because Quatre was a little shorter than she was, and not the best lead. She was happy to enjoy the music and the lack of conversation, knowing full well that the moment of peace would be broken.

"You look miserable," he said softly.

She looked into his light blue eyes, eyes that could never hide their sincerity or concern, and tried to find a smiling lie but whispered instead, "I am miserable."

"You're leaving her again aren't you?"

"Of course," she replied with a little more spirit as he spun her out. Upon her return she mentioned, "I had no choice."

The music stopped the other dancers clapped their appreciation to the band as Quatre and Dorothy headed out of the ballroom and onto the quiet of a dark patio.

"She won't say it Quatre," Dorothy began quickly pacing as she talked, "She never will and I have to leave because… because things threaten to become complicated."

"That doesn't sound like you to be afraid of complications." He sat on a small stone bench and watched her pace.

"No? Well, I have to say some complications are not worth exploring, and I am presently at that point where… Well I know what I want Quatre, for once I do know, and she still can not make up her mind. Besides… there is another matter-"

"Someone else," from anyone else the question would have been insulting, but from Quatre, whom she regarded as a good friend because who else but he could ever look her in the eye and tell her she was forgiven, it was simply a question and a sincerely asked one at that. He was not accusing with it, he was just asking.

"Sort of… It is the idea of someone else Quatre, the idea that this other woman would make me happier, could with just a single word because she sees right through the act." She stopped her pacing and came to sit next to him. She clicked her tongue and said, "I did not come back here because the princess and I were going to give it another try. I made that clear the first night I arrived, and this new thing…this… what is it?"

"A chance?"

She grinned, "Cute, and maybe you're right but whatever it is I want to run from it and take the time to see if I can handle it. To be alone for a while and just wait it out."

"So now that you've gotten that off your chest, what is it that is making you miserable?"

Dorothy chuckled in a way that very few were ever granted permission to hear. It was not a mocking chuckle. It was not a haughty guffaw. It was the clear sound that a person can make when she knows that she has been caught, in what does not matter, all that matters is that the sound signified a fault. And faults were not things the stormy eyed young woman was privy to admitting, especially when it came to the current subject.

"I am miserable," she began almost playfully, but her tone dipped almost immediately to something heavier as she continued, "because this 'chance', I feel…It has a way of being a worse situation than I ever leant myself to with the princess. I'm not sure I want the responsibility that would go along with it, and aside from that I'm not sure I'm ready for it."

Quatre made a queer sort of face and then sighed heavily, "Then I guess you'll have to take your time and not rush head long into anything."

"I guess, my dear, I guess… and pray that chance doesn't slip away."

The almost shy young man quietly departed back to the ballroom after a silent insistence made by Dorothy to be left alone for a few moments to ponder her fate.

She grinned at her misfortune for she could do little else, and then, finding something like an answer she went inside for the remainder of the ball.

******************************************
I would…
But for the lady
I would do
But for beauty
I could
But for her smile
I could go
But for her voice
And everything she is
Is soft and cold
And everything she gives
Is light and harsh
Almost easy and yet...
Within her eyes is reluctance
So I would and I could
But for her
But for this kiss
This moment in which she begs for me
*************************************************************

The announcement from Relena was as Heero had guessed. With a graceless speech brimming with sentiment the princess announced her departure from the political stage to pursue some private ventures. A good half of those attending the event applauded with little enthusiasm as the other half (mostly all politicians and a few ex-soldiers still enamored by the girl's "passion for peace") applauded with enough gusto to make up for those that did not see the retirement in the same light. It was not that those who knew Relena well did not want her to leave her post, they just questioned her true motives for quitting and wondered how long it would take before some other rallying cause would pull the honey blonde diplomat back onto the stage the girl so loathed.

Dorothy greeted her host as the girl stepped down from making her speech. For a brief moment the girl could see in the goddess's eyes the need to say something dreadfully upsetting, and it made the girl happy. But the moment vanished in an instant and the princess was left once more in the place Dorothy had put her.

"I had to stay for the speech," Dorothy said quietly, walking with ex-princess towards the door of the ballroom. "You know, it was one of your best, almost convincing in its delivery, but lacking somehow in believability."

"You," she began and then cleared her throat to fight the tears she knew she shouldn't cry, "are leaving now…I take it?"

"I thought it best not to prolong my departure. Try not to get yourself into trouble with your private ventures…I very much doubt I could make the air fare to come and say, 'I told you so', in person."

"You could write."

"Are you already planning on failing? So soon after such a speech," she bit back her want to chuckle mercilessly. "One day, I think, your speeches will not be able to save you."

Relena only nodded, glancing behind her quickly.

The pale blonde sighed almost irritated, almost completely insulted, and slightly ashamed to have to point out, "He's been keeping an eye on you since you stepped off the stage."

"I-"

"You shouldn't be so shocked that I know he's there. Will you let him go I wonder…now that you are retiring?"

There was no response so Dorothy took the instance to exit the ballroom as quickly as she could. No good bye, or happy farewell, no she had to leave in silence. A quiet moment was so much more than she thought the princess deserved, but she gave it as a courtesy since she wanted to completely abandon the masquerade of their long relationship.

Upon reaching her room she grabbed the already packed suitcases and made her way out of the palace where Pagan had her car waiting. She nodded at him for being so prepared, probably by Relena's orders. She tossed her suitcases into the backseat of the old car, which seemed in contrast to her usual tastes, slid in behind the wheel and rambled off down the drive to the road. She felt a freedom she had never expected to be granted, and while the moon was not full she could feel it shine on her, lighting the way to a path she had not considered before.

*************************************
We lost the love before we began
We took the time to watch us fade
And in the end as I step out the door
All I can think is I knew of this ending long before
I will travel
I will venture to find
A piece of me I had left behind
Sometime soon will you call on me
Or will you understand this ending
Know we could never be
That something like forever you always thought you would need
***************************************

To be continued….