Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ A World in a Grain of Sand ❯ Wishing ( Chapter 18 )

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 18/21.

Pairings: 1+2+1 Yay!

Rating: R overall, for no reason really.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, a bit more angst. Fluffy, emotional.

Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage, ff.net, MM.org. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^
Notes: This is not an end yet, despite what it looks like. ^___^

Thank you Sundaire! - Sundaire devotes her time to check and correct my mistakes. Keiran heh-p-eeeh…

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As the master healer predicted, Hilde Sheibker died a few hours before sunrise. Heero volunteered to accompany Duo when he stayed up with his friend, offering whatever consolation he could. The healer forced a smile onto his face and seemingly without effort he continued talking - first of the princess who'd just visited the palace nearby; his little nephew and niece; the duke and duchess of a foreign land and many more stories. He never wavered, latching on to a brand new tale once the previous was finished, keeping the fear out of his friend's eyes. The girl had been frightened, that much Heero could see - the sickness had exhausted her body, to the point where she hardly could do more than sleep, but even the comfort of slumber was interrupted with vicious coughing fits.

But no matter how pale or sick she looked, the general could see that - like Duo - she forced a smile upon her face and bravely asked questions about whatever caught her attention in any of the stories. It seemed like she was just as set on taking Duo's mind off her impending death as he was. Between the two of them, they managed to keep the terrible apparition at bay, speaking and laughing, until the girl's eyes closed involuntary and she fell into a deep sleep, from which she would never wake.

During the whole night Heero stood by his healer, offering quiet, unwavering support, feeling somehow that it would be the only thing keeping the other man upright when the dawn came. Even he knew that when someone's best friend dies, they need to know they aren't alone. He vowed to himself he would stay by Duo no matter what. However, this oath had proved difficult to keep, since as soon as Hilde's breathing ceased, the healer bolted from the temple and disappeared. Heero saw him briefly at the funeral, but the man managed to evade him and disappear again, leaving the great general desperately praying for both his safety and his comfort. Heero was no innocent, he had seen people die, more than he could count. He witnessed people's grief as they lost their loved ones, their friends, their lovers, their parents and even their children. He couldn't be sure just how Duo would react to being left alone again. He hoped, with all his heart, that he wouldn't give into the more emotional part of his being and try to escape any further hurt by keeping his distance from everyone. That hope was strong - Duo proved to be intelligent and wise when it came to dealing with emotions - but there was a chance that he might be just too drained from witnessing so many people in his life pass away before him.

Hilde was buried at the small cemetery right by the temple, rather than in her family's graveyard - as the master healer had said, whoever becomes a healer needs to remember that they would forever be one. From the moment they choose to ease the suffering of others, there is no turning back. Heero attended the ceremony, standing still and morose in the back, keeping his gaze fixed on Duo.

The healer, on the other hand, seemed to stare at nothing, his eyes unfocused and out of place. Somehow his clothing was pristine white, his hair brushed carefully without a single hair falling out of the neat braid. The sun shone upon him, making him seem almost angel-like in Heero's eyes. Of course, if the general had bothered to observe other healers more closely he would have noticed that it was mostly due to the white clothing all of the healers wore - clean, purely white fabric always shone in the sunlight. But to him, Duo was special.

Which was probably why he felt so hurt when the long-haired man disappeared right after the service, without saying a word.

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Following the burial, Heero made a point of visiting the temple daily, primarily to speak with Duo, but also to try and console Sally, who took the death of her much older friend very hard. The general did his best to comfort the little girl, even though most of it he had to guess. As it turned out, he was much better at guessing than at social interactions - within a week the small blonde got over most of the grief and, although it was obvious it would take much longer before she could be carefree again, she started to laugh at least.

"I'm really happy you're here, my lord," the little girl said one day, curled against Heero's arm under a tree, where they were reading a book.

"How so?" he asked slowly. Her little face still bore traces of tears, just like he found her in the morning, but there was a small smile on her lips.

"You helped me to learn how to do mathematics. Now I can be a healer and I can learn how to heal people." Heero smiled kindly. "Maybe one day I will even learn how to cure the sickness of which Hilde died." The general knew better than to dampen her enthusiasm, but he was aware that it was incurable, that nobody knew how it attacked a person; when it did, however, there was no stopping it. He had seen numerous people die of the disease. He had heard healers saying that it was pretty much incurable, wherever he asked.

"Yes," he whispered softly, "maybe you will." Sally beamed and laughed happily, for the first time since Hilde died.

It was a small victory, but it made the general proud. He hoped that he would be able to do the same for Duo, but for that he would need to find the man first. And that was proving to be very difficult so far. It seemed, however, that Heero was in luck - about a week after the funeral, as he set out to return to the palace, he finally saw his healer, standing alone with his head bowed under a blossoming cherry tree. Heero's breath caught in his throat. He must have known he was there. He must have been waiting.

This was it. The moment of truth. This was, most likely, the most important conversation they would ever have. One wrong word and he would never see Duo again. The general trembled at the thought. Could he live with that? He asked himself as he slowly neared the other man.

"Duo," he whispered softly, instead of greeting. He stared at the miserable figure, trying to think of a way to offer comfort and consolation, but his mind was blank. He didn't know what to do or say - what can one say to a person who'd lost their best friend anyway - but he was making an effort. For Duo.

The healer was steadily ignoring him. Heero tried to call him again, a couple of times, with the same lack of results, before deciding that maybe Duo needed more space to collect himself. He wouldn't give up yet, of course, but he would wait a few more days. Death isn't easy to come to terms with, after all. He turned with a soft promise of 'I'll be there,' but his departure was prevented - Duo's hand shot out and grabbed the general's wrist tightly, keeping the man in place. Heero looked back with a silent question in his blue eyes.

"Don't leave me…," he heard, whispered almost soundlessly. The melodious voice shook only slightly, as Duo shifted his grip and hesitantly stepped closer. "Please… I won't run anymore. Just don't leave me…" Heero's eyes widened, as he felt the gentle, yet incessant, tugging on his collar and lowered his head obediently.

It felt unbearably sweet to be kissed by Duo. Finally, after six long years, Duo was the one to initiate a kiss. The taller man closed his eyes and pulled his partner nearer, losing himself in the blissful sensation of soft lips upon his own. He had dreamt about it, but no dream could ever compare to the sheer overwhelming *reality* of the feeling. His hands made their way into the healer's hair, as the kiss grew deeper, more urgent, but for the life of him Heero couldn't figure which one of them was deepening the connection - he was perfectly content with the tender caresses, even though his body relished the thought of finally having Duo back by its side. He pulled back, almost imperceptibly, to look into the violet eyes, searching for anything to confirm the truth of what was happening between them, but as he drew back he could feel the healer's fingers tightening on his shirt.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, searching, until finally the lids fell over the violet orbs and the healer whispered, "I'm yours, Heero," his voice barely shaking. The general's arms tightened around the slim form, as he slowly led them both into the temple.

As the two disappeared inside the building, the sky slowly turned yellow and orange, lightening the sun's descend, until it hid fully behind the horizon.

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Duo woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. He lay silently, staring at the ceiling mutely, uncomprehending. He didn't recognize the room. Suddenly remembering what had ensued the previous night he shot up, his eyes wild, his hand automatically flying to his chest.

His shirt was still on. Slightly disbelieving he let his palm slide down, into his lap, tugging the coverings away. He was still wearing his trousers as well. Shifting slightly he realized he didn't feel any pain in his lower regions, or even an ache, which would normally be the case.

So what had happened last evening? Had he dreamed about kissing Heero? 'No,' he concluded touching his lips briefly. 'That part was real.' His lips were tingling even now, he could tell they were swollen slightly. He let his eyes sweep across the room, stopping on a reclining figure next to the wall.

Heero. He sat leaning against the wall, his legs stretched before him, wrapped in his own and Duo's cloaks.

For the longest time Duo sat on the pallet, staring at the slumbering general. He could remember, finally: Heero had led him inside, into the room he usually occupied when staying at the temple, holding him close all of the time; he removed most of his clothing, laid him on his pallet and wrapped the healer with a blanket carefully. All the while Duo said nothing, staring at the man, nearly unblinking, as close to tears as he was ever going to get. After making sure the long-haired man was comfortable, Heero leaned in and tenderly pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 'Sleep,' he had said, 'all would be better in the morning.'

Almost unwittingly a smile made its way onto the healer's face, as a lone tear trailed down his cheek.

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When Heero woke, it was dawn. He sat unmoving for a few minutes, knowing that he would be terribly cramped for the rest of the day, yet unwilling to leave the cocoon of warmth wrapped around his body. His gaze fell onto the pallet, finding it unoccupied. He sighed. Duo must have gotten up earlier. Heero sighed again. They were past, or so he hoped, the worst. They would need to talk, sooner rather than later, but the storm had already passed.

As his eyes focused, however, he noticed something wasn't exactly right - he was wrapped in a blanket, which he knew for sure was around Duo last night, and there was a weight against his right arm, a weight that was warm and moved slightly at regular intervals. Hoping against hope, Heero turned his head slightly.

His eyes met a pair of violet ones, fluttering sleepily. Once Duo finally blinked the sleep away and got a good look at the general his breath caught.

"Heero, are you crying?" he whispered softly, unwilling to disturb the stillness of the morning. He timidly raised his palm to brush a stray tear away from the handsome face. Seconds later, he found himself tugged gently onto Heero's lap and embraced tightly against the man's chest.

"You stayed," the general whispered against his hair. "Goddess… You stayed." Duo returned the embrace, tucking his forehead in the crease between Heero's neck and shoulder. His eyes shimmered as well.

"I do not lie. I promised I wouldn't run anymore," he replied, shaking slightly. "I promised I would be yours." That shook Heero from his stupor.

"Duo… I don't want that, not anymore. I want you to be mine, yes, but above all I want you to want it too…," he said seriously, catching the other's face with his hands and pressing their foreheads together. Duo was silent for a while. When he finally spoke, his voice barely shook.

"I want to be with you too," he answered softly. Heero, however, caught the slight undertone of hesitation in the other's voice. Nevertheless, he was relieved. Duo did care about him. Even if he had his doubts, that didn't matter much - in fact it would be worrying if he had none. But he did trust him, trusted him enough to open up and care.

Heero suddenly realized it didn't matter all that much now when they would share a bed - that they ever would he was certain. Duo was still so young, he must crave physical intimacy, especially since - judging from his skittish reactions to people - he hadn't shared a bed with anyone since Heero. "I can wait, darling," he whispered seriously into Duo's ear. "I will wait, however long you will need."

The general did understand what Duo was going through, but he couldn't help feeling a bit hurt when he felt the slender body relax fully and mould against his more tightly. He chased the hurt away quickly, though. Duo was tangible, warm and in his arms. He was also desperate not to lose him last night, when he offered his body as a token of forever, and that was proof enough for Heero that he had done the right thing, all the right things. Duo wanted to keep him.

Now… it was just a matter of time before Duo realized how much he trusted him and opened fully because he wanted, not because he felt it was needed.

TBC.