Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Adrenaline ❯ One-Shot

Adrenaline

Lady Mars

Disclaimer: * Sits, staring at Heero, who sits staring at her. *

HEERO: You…
Me what? * Turns to reader. * I don't own Painted on My Heart or Gundam Wing, but I have been meaning to do this for some time now. He's gonna hate me forever for this one. This, in a way, is going out to anonymous celebrity because she can't stand the way Noin acts around Zechs. I hope you enjoy this.

***

I thought

You'd be out of my mind

And I'd finally found a way to live without you.

I thought

It'd be just a matter of time before till I had a hundred reasons not to think about you.

But it's just not so

And after all this time, I still can't let go.

I've still got your face painted on my heart,

Drawn upon my soul, etched upon my memories.

And I've still got your kiss

Still burning on my lips, the touch of your fingertips

Is love so deep inside of me baby.

Zechs idly scanned the dance floor. The guest list had been extensive, but the only pair he recognized on the floor was the paring of Trowa and Quatre and nothing short of another war was going to pry them apart. The platinum blonde sighed for an innumerable time in the past twenty minutes. He was on his third drink of the night and bored out of his wits. The only person who had been keeping him company was the young, beautiful woman who continued to refill his drink. 'Maybe if I keep drinking, she'll become appealing.' He snorted at his own thought. 'I have to be plastered for that to happen.' He polished off the rest of his drink in one swing. 'But at the rate I'm going, it won't take long.' He scanned the surrounding area for the waitress, but she was nowhere to be found. 'Figures. Only 'Lenawould hold a bash like this and then under staff it.'He leaned heavily on the railing, watching the dance floor again. The celebration was just one of Relena's underhanded methods to get big political names together to help promote peace. 'The least she could do is invite some eye candy.'

"Avoiding the crowds or you sister tonight, Merquise?" Zechs turned his head to the right to see the lanky form of Heero Yui appear out of the shadows. Heero had changed in the years since the pair had seen each other last. He was taller, more filled out, and had longer hair. The man was wearing a blue shirt as dark as his eyes and leather pants. The only other thing that struck Zechs as odd were the two diamond studs in the lobes of Heero's ears and the two hoops attached to the cartilage in his right ear. The man had taken on a new look in previous years, but the mystique that was Heero Yui still shone through. Zechs snorted. He was a bit taken by surprise by Heero's entrance, but more stunned at his new appearance. "Or should I call you Peacecraft?" Zechs stifled a chuckle.

"Peacecraft was dead," he glanced at his watch. "Two hours ago. Peacecraft wouldn't drink this heavily." Heero chuckled lightly at Zechs' remark; he was right, anyone under the name of Peacecraft wouldn't drink, let alone drink heavily.

"How many have you had?"
"Three. You?" Heero polished off the end of his drink.

"Four."
"You plastered yet?"
"Not even buzzed. These people don't know how to mix a drink to save their fucking lives."

"I hear ya." The pair stood in silence for a few moments. Their eyes danced between the dignitaries on the floor below and each other, each one trying not to lock eyes with the other.

"You bored out of you wits yet?" Heero said, breaking the silence.

"Long time ago Yui, a LONG time ago."

"Well, I was going to find some fresh air. You wanna come with?" Zechs stood up.

"Sure. You lead." Heero nodded and walked off. Zechs watched the former Wing pilot walk off for a moment. 'Those leather pants don't leave much to the imagination on him. But it's not like anything he wears does.' The blonde then walked off into the shadows, trailing behind Heero.

I've tried

Everything that I can

To get my heart to forget you,

But I just can't seem to.

I guess it's no use;

In every part of me, there's still a part of you.

And I've still got your face painted on my heart,

Drawn upon my soul, etched upon my memories.

And I've still got your kiss

Still burning on my lips, the touch of your fingertips

Is love so deep inside of me baby.

Heero sat down with a sigh on one of the stone benches lining the balcony. Zechs sat next to him, relishing as the first blast of the cold night air smashed into his lungs. The pair sat quietly for a bit, savoring in the silence and in the other's presence. It was Zechs who first broke the silence.

"So what have you been doing since I last talked to you Heero?" Heero turned his gaze from the sky to the blonde. 'Since when has he called me something besides Yui? Could he be…? Nah. That's just you daydreaming again.' Heero shrugged.

"Everything and nothing, as usual." Zechs nodded his understanding.

"I'm surprised you're not wrapped firmly around the arm of my sister tonight." Heero snorted. The younger man seemed offended by the elder's comment.

"That bitch?" Zechs stared at him like he had been blind sided. "I take it by that look, you didn't hear."

"Hear what?" Heero snorted and shook his head lightly; he couldn't believe that Zechs was that far underground not to know what was going on with his sister.

"That your sister and I have formally…" Heero stalled, looking for a good word. "Disbanded."

"Nope. Haven't heard that one, but you're talking to one the one who avoids his sister like the plague." 'And all of my dreams are now no longer squelched.' Heero chuckled. Zechs' logic seemed so right for him and he could fully understand why he avoided the girl. "So when and why did it happen?"
"It was about six months ago. I knew in the pit of my stomach that the relationship was ending, but my head wouldn't listen." He sighed. "I was in a serious case of denial. And the denial is what made the whole situation much worse than it should have been in the first place." He paused for a moment, recalling memories he had buried. "I wanted her to leave, but then again I didn't. I did love her at one time, but as we went along it became more and more of a façade. We both knew, but neither of us really wanted to do something. I should have said or done something that would have prevented the heartache later, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. In the end, that was the worst decision that I could have made." Heero sighed again. "It had been a long day at work for me and I had planned on coming home and spending the night doing absolutely nothing. I walked in the door and found her escorting one of her male friends out in a VERY friendly manner. She finally saw me and realized what she had done."

"So what did you do?"
"Threw the two of them out, told Relena that I never wanted anything to do with her fucked up pathetic life, and proceeded to drain all the liquor in the house." Zechs chuckled. "Don't do that, it hurts."

"What? Break up with your woman or drink that much?"

"Drink that much. I had a hangover for the rest of the week."

"I bet. So what stopped from getting alcohol poisoning?"

"Quatre. He decided to call me half way through my binge. I think the half of a bottle of Jack Daniels that was in my hand is what set him off to my problem."

"You hold liquor well?"

"After dating your sister for that long, yes. If it wasn't for him, I would have died. I am such a lucky bastard sometimes."

"I hear ya. So what have you been doing since then?"
"Telling my head to shut up for not telling someone else about my feelings. Stupid conscious. I thought I had been rid of him for years."

"Stupid little voice, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. I wish I could be rid of it, but it keeps coming back and saying louder and louder 'Why don't you tell him?' Stupid thing." Zechs chuckled.

"I'm glad to know that I'm not the only who is fighting that voice too."

"Oh really? What's your problem?"

"Noin."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, just like it was two years ago."

"Two years? Congrats. I never figured you make it that long."

"We didn't."

"Oh. Whoops, sorry about that. I didn't…"
"It's ok. I really don't mind. It wasn't a messy breakup. We both knew we weren't meant for each other and we decided to go our separate ways as friends. And I really do mean 'as friends.' I still talk to her regularly. She's dating some French man. No idea who he is or where she found him, but she's happy and that's all that really matters."

"What about you?"

"Hmm?"

"You, what about you? Are you happy?" Zechs snorted.

"Yui, you know damn well that I'm never happy. I haven't been for a LONG time."

"Right, sorry, I forgot."

"It's ok. Happiness has become almost arbitrary to me. I've lived so long with out it, what are a few more years? This is all despite the most obvious fact that I probably will never be happy ever again."

"You really think that?"

"Think what?"

"That you'll never be happy again?"

"Yeah, sometimes. It's kind of getting down to the point that the only thing that will make me happy is something I'll never have."

"Something you'll never have? You could have anything you ever wanted. You're so powerful that people bow at your feet. How can you not have something?"

"You've heard the saying 'Money can't buy happiness' haven't you?"

"Yes, I have."

"That's my problem. I have all the money in the world, the colonies. I could crush anyone that dares defy me and I can do it with style, grace and flair." With these words, he moved forward, using hand gestures to accentuate the fact. He froze after the last word and after a moment, he sat back again, slouching a little. "But that's not going to get me what I want. What I desire the most is always fleeting beyond my fingertips, just beyond my reach and there is nothing that I perceivably do to stop it. I could have every woman that I, nay, any man would or could ever desire, but it is not those women that I desire. He is the one thing that has escaped me all these years and only now do I realize my fault. And to make matter worse, there is nothing I can do to change it. Whenever I fall into his presence, the proper words fall just short of reaching my tongue." The blonde sighed. The emotions continued to flow, unabashed, as the man continued. "My heart CRIES for me to tell him the TRUTH, but my head cannot find words in which to tell him. How do you live with that, day after day? You deny your heart the truth and find some sham of a lover to fill the void. But that's not working anymore; it's not working for me. I feel lost; utterly alone. I have no choice but to move on despite my heart denying it, wanting for me to carry on in my previous fashion. I must tell him, but I can't; he would NEVER understand." Zechs lowered his head causing his blonde locks to fall into his face. Heero really didn't know how to react; Zechs was pouring his soul out and he couldn't think of any words that could or would help the man solve his problem. After a few moments of awkward silence, Zechs sat up again and looked at Heero, eyes awash with unshed tears. "Do you know what that is like? Knowing the perfect being is out there but not being able to have it?" Heero sighed.

"Actually Zechs, I do. I know exactly what that's like. I too have found the one that my heart really desires, but I cannot have. Love is a cruel being to all those who desire it most because it cooperates with fate to drive you further and further from your heart's desire and in the moment that you collide again you don't know how to tell them and they slip away leaving fate to laugh at you once again. One of these times I'm going to tell fate no; I'm going to tell him just so he knows and so that I won't die with it on my conscious." Heero gazed skyward again. "But the more I think about it, the more I become afraid of rejection. I want him to know, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to take rejection again." Zechs stared intently at Heero.

"Tell who Heero?"

"What?"

"Who is it that you want to tell?" Heero snorted.

"You would never believe me even if I did tell you."

"What could it hurt? Maybe I can help." Heero looked back at Zechs.

"I can't. It would be just too weird." The wind howled behind them, rustling their hair. "It's not like I could tell him anyway."

"Then don't tell him." Heero stared at Zechs.

"What?" Zechs leaned forward, closing the inches between them.

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words." Zechs closed in the last few centimeters and placed a gentle kiss on the ex- Gundam pilot's lips.

I've still got your face,

Painted on my heart,

Painted on my heart,

Painted on my heart, oh yeah.

Something in your eyes keeps haunting me.

I'm trying to escape you

And I know there ain't no way to

To chase you from my mind.

Heero jerked back from the touch. He stared at the blonde, unsure of what to do next; this was the last thing he had expected. He sat in total shock, trying to get a hold on his emotions. 'He… He… He...' Zechs sighed and sat back.

"I'm sorry Heero. If I had known you would have reacted that way, I wouldn't have done it." The blonde slowly got up. "I'm truly sorry and I hope this doesn't affect our companionship." Zechs began walking away, downtrodden. Heero shook his head, clearing it rapidly.

"Zechs! Wait!" The blonde stopped by the door and turned back to Heero. Heero got up and quickly strode through the few feet that separated them. "Zechs I… I..." He sighed, trying to calm himself. "I don't know… I've always… Oh fuck it all! Zechs, I love you; I always have. I just never knew how to say it or how you would react." Zechs smiled and pulled Heero in again. This time the kiss was filled with emotion; pent up passion and lust with the delicacy of true love. Heero smiled gently as they pulled apart again. "Is there somewhere private where we can finish this?" Zechs stared at him, puzzled, for a moment before the light went off in his head.

"Plenty."

"Good. Lead away then." Zechs linked arms with the other man and began to walk away, but Heero's unmoving form drug him to a halt. "I want to know one thing first."

"What?"

"Why me?"

"Why you? Because Heero, you are like adrenaline to me. You give me that rush that no one else can." Heero smiled and leaned on Zechs' arm.

"Good answer love, good answer." The pair walked quietly back into the hall, enjoying the other's presence for the time until the could get out of the sight of all others.

I've still got your face painted on my heart,

Drawn upon my soul, etched upon my memories.

And I've got your kiss

Still burning on my lips, the touch of your fingertips

Is love so deep inside of me baby.

I've still got your face,

Still got your face

Painted on my heart.

***