Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ai Qing Gu Shi ❯ Before I fall in love ( Chapter 1 )

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in Gundam Wing.

Author: Tsuki Tenshi

Pairing: 1x2

Email: Luv_bpgal@yahoo.com

Title: Ai Qing Gu Shi (chinese) Love story

A/N: Thank you for reviewing!!! I love you all!!! Hehe… Reviews are so great… Just keep reviewing!!!

Xellas M: Thank you. I think I will continue, if the responses remains to be so well * hint hint * ^_~ hehe~

Anyume Salem: Well, here is Heero's POV. Dun worry, I love Heero too much to bastardize him.

dyna Dee: Hehe~ I dunnoe… Some people love to make the pair suffer so that the ending would turn out to be much sweeter…

Goddess of Death: Here's the next chapter. ^-^

VampireEyes: I will, since so many requested for it. * ^_~

dark faeri: I am in an angsty mood right now ( for no good reason) so the story is probably going to be very angsty…. Here's Heero POV!

Gundam_gal_00: Hehe~ Since you asked so nicely….

Drea: Oops… it seems like this chapter didn't have much closure either… But at least now you know what Heero felt? Hope this makes you feel better.

Amalthaea: Erm… I am not sure about lemons… I felt uneasy writing one… Maybe one day I will try it out though…

Valandra: Hope you liked this chapter as well. ^.^

Acidburn646: Since so many people wanted me to continue, I think I would. Here's Heero's POV! Hope you like it.

White Destiny: Well, yeah. It's mandarin. The phonics for the words is Ai4 Qing2 Gu4 Shi4. If you studied Han Yu Ping Ying, you should know how to read it.

Robin: Erm… I think this would have a happy ending… *^.- Presently, I had no idea how it would go though….

angelz3x: … I have nothing to say…

Tanith: Erm… Thank you for your suggestion. Maybe I should try that someday… Right now, Heero was a little puzzled over what he should do, so he was just trying to wait for Duo to tell him. I KNOW he had emotions but to me, he just wasn't used to it, and was not very used to dealing with love. Anyway… Maybe I would have Heero hunting Duo down somewhere in the story?

On with the fic~!!!!

//…song lyrics….//

Before I fall in love…

Streaks of dazzling light flashed across the murky sky, warning mortals of the on slaughtering thunder. What started out as a drizzle had now become a thunderstorm. Was it not like life? What started out as infatuation turning into something much more? Such a violent storm it was that the people were scurrying back to their houses. What they had earlier thought of doing was long forgotten. Now, the only comfort was the warmth of the fireplace and loved ones waiting patiently at home. A lean figure however, seemed to take no notice of the heavy rain, even as droplets of freezing water beat brutally onto his skin before splashing into thin air.

//My heart says we've got something real

Can I trust the way I feel

Cuz my heart's been fooled before//

The figure was there again tonight. His dark green shirt had long been drenched through and through, turning into a deep shade of green, so dark it could be mistaken as black. The wet fabric clung onto his skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. Despite his slender frame, he was very muscular. Not a bit of fat anywhere, it was all planes and angles. Water dripped down from his unruly hair, rolling down his cheeks in its descent. No umbrellas, no raincoat, just standing there in under the attack of the merciless aqua bullets, as if waiting...

//Am I'm just seeing what I want to see

Or is it true

Could you really be//

I had no idea what made him ran off like the way he did. Was he regretting his choice? Was he only joking? My mind was in a whirl. Love? I think I do. If worrying for his safety during the war was love. If yearning to stay close to him was love. If wanting to touch him was love. If wanting him to touch me was love. If wanting to hear his voice was love. If wanting to be with him was love. If needing to be with him was love. Then maybe... maybe it was love... I had to ask him when he got back. I need to know... Was it love?

//Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know

Before I fall in love//

I had no idea when I stopped being suicidal. The idea of death no longer tempted me. If I died, I wouldn't be able to see him. I wouldn't be able to see the results of my sacrifice. I wouldn't be able to experience feelings that the braided pilot showed me. I wouldn't be able to see... and hear... and touch... Duo...

//Someone who'll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

So tell me now

Before I fall in love//

The perfect soldier trained to eliminate all obstacles that stood in the way of missions. The little girl and her puppy. She asked me if I was lost. Yes I was, from the very start. Was it love I felt when she presented me with that wilting flower? That something that touched me so deep inside? Was it compassion when I tried to save the town when the burning inferno of the Oz base was accidentally blown into the colony? What was that I felt when I buried the carcass of the puppy? Was that regret? Sadness? Compassion had nothing to offer in the harsh reality of war. It only brought pain and sadness, which would affect the missions. That had to be eliminated. "But that was the best part in human nature was it not?" Duo taught me that. That day he brought home a wounded puppy, I told him to get rid of it. It would do no good to form any attachment to the animal if it would die any moment with the war going on. Like usual, he rebutted my words, then told me the words that I would never forget. "Love was the only thing that kept Humans human." I never knew that compassion would bring something good, something that was not pain. He forced me to bathe the puppy, saying that it was dirty and if I had not wash it, it would cost some serious damage to the room. At least my part of the room. He left before I could tell him I would get rid of the puppy. But I kept the puppy.

//And I'm at the point of no return

So afraid of getting burned

But I wanna take a chance//

Maybe compassion wasn't such a bad thing. It made me feel something I had long forgotten when the clean puppy licked my hand. That funny feeling tingling my senses when my skin comes into contact with the soft, mangy chocolate fur of the puppy. Curious, I looked at the enthusiastic puppy. It had the strangest eyes I had ever seen. It was innocent; none of its unhappy past lingered in its bright, doleful eyes. Just like him. A teenager with such a tragic past and yet... Yet none of his sadness showed in his eyes. His twin amethyst orbs that shone with such intelligence and trust.

//Oh please

Give me a reason to believe

Say you're the one that you'll always be//

I had the strangest feeling when Hilde risked her life just to get the information for Duo. After all, he was very attractive and charming. It would be natural for Hilde to like him. Was it what I thought it was? Jealousy? Hn.. It would be the first time in my life to feel it. It was not very nice, especially when Duo rushed to save Hilde when he heard about it. It was bitter, and very very sour. Maybe that was I acted a little out of normal when Duo returned? Was that why I was so cold to him when he returned?

//Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know

Before I fall in love//

Surprised was not the word to use when he told me he loved me. It was more like shock, a really big one. My training took over as I processed the information. It was natural for me, as I do not want to give anything away before I had decided on what to say or do. It gives no advantage for the enemy to know what I was thinking about. Habits were hard to kick, even in the times of peace. I had not expected him to love me, or confess his feelings. I think I loved him for a very long time. I think what I felt for him was love. "Act on you emotions" Easy to do when you know what you are feeling. This jumble of feelings and emotions were confusing me. I had no idea what they were. Love? Maybe...

But before I could say anything, he stuttered out some incoherent words. I think he said something doesn't matter. Is that it? Was his love for me so minute that it doesn't matter if I don't love him back? I could see him fidgeting, his fist were clenched. His head was bowed, long chestnut bangs covering his eyes so effectively that I couldn't see his magnificent lilac orbs. He ran off. And I stayed in that same position for a very long time.

//Someone who'll stay around

Through all my ups and downs

So tell me now

Before I fall in love//

Love. Now that is an idea. I had no idea how to describe this particular feeling. If what I assumed was love, it would be very complicated to explain indeed. All I knew was that I yearned for his touch. In fact too much. I was so afraid I would lose control if he touched me for too long. I was afraid that if I hear too much of his chatter, I would one day miss it when it finally stopped. I was afraid. So frightened of this emotion. Why do I need him so much? . Why do I feel like I'm on cloud nine when he touched me? Why do I feel like dying when he was not around? Why? I don't know... I really don't know...

//It's been so hard for me

To give my heart away

But I would give my everything

Just to hear you say//

The rain was getting colder. If I stand here any longer, I would probably die of frostbite. I don't mind though, if I get to see Duo. Relena would probably come soon. She was always so worried about me. Always there, waiting. She reminded me of that little girl with the puppy, so concerned with me. Somehow, I feel that by looking after her, I managed to fulfill my responsibilities towards the little girl. If she had lived, she would look very much like Relena... I hoped the puppy was alright. I gave it to Relena since both Duo and I could not keep a puppy in the apartment. Maybe she would bring it along? Its endless energy always reminds me of Duo. I almost regretted giving it to her, though it was really its best chance of survival. Duo appeared to be devastated when I told him I gave the puppy to Relena. I know he would miss it, but it was the best thing we could give it... right?

//Someone to have and hold

With all my heart and soul

I need to know

Before I fall in love//

I never got to tell him how I feel. After so many days, so many months, I had finally got my answer. I knew I couldn't live without him. I knew my life was empty without him. I knew I wanted to have him. I knew I wanted to hold him. The apartment still smells like him. The spaces in the closet were still waiting for him to fill them up with his ridiculous priest garbs. I feel so lost ever since he left. Every morning, I wake up expecting to find him in the bathroom choking up the drain with his chestnut strands. Every morning I woke up to find him not there. Every morning I was reminded that he had left me. That maybe he had regretted his choice. That maybe he had made a mistake... That he never loved me at all. Even after so many months, I still wake up every morning, hoping to find him here. Back here with me, telling me that he loved me, telling me how much he missed me, telling me how he would never ever leave... And every morning, I woke up to find it just a fragment of my dreams. And every morning, I get a sickening sense of disappointment and grief. But no matter how painful it was, morning was still the best moments of my day. There was always the hope that he would someday return, here into my arms... He told me he loved me. And he never lies. He will come back because he loves me... right?

//Someone who'll stay around

Through all my ups and downs//

The rain still keeps on falling. The wind still keeps on howling. I would still keep on waiting. No matter rain or shine, I will still be here waiting. I still have one more question to ask him. I have to know if he really loved me. I have to make sure I had not heard wrongly, that he had not been joking. I had to know, before I could tell him. And he will come back, won't he? I really can't survive without him. Nights were so lonely. The phantom of him was always there, haunting me. He couldn't leave now, not when I had discovered this feeling that made all humans human. He had to come back and explain to me why he said love was such a wonderful thing. It was not nice... It was painful... filling my heart with doubts, making those warm, bitter tears filling my eyes when the shimmering cold light flood the dark, desolated room, freezing my heart with layers of ice...

Please Duo... Come back.... I really need to know... Even if my soul would shatter if you rejected me. If I ever fall in love, I want the person to be you. Even if my heart would be torn into pieces... Please... I need to hear those words again... I really need to know...

//Please tell me now

Before I fall in love//

Owari or TBC...

Well... Should I keep this a short and angst story or a longer one with actual plot? Hm... Do you want any more characters in this story, or keep this strictly Heero and Duo?