Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ All I Want ❯ One-Shot

"Do you feel something, anything for me?"

Heero didn't know what to do. He might have once told Trowa to follow his emotions, but that wasn't good advice for himself. He couldn't follow his emotions. He wasn't supposed to have any. So that only left him one option. Close himself off from the source of these emotions that only got in the way. He focused on the pilot in front of him and spoke, his voice a cold monotone. "No."

{Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie}

He tried to ignore the sudden shaft of hurt in the other's eyes. //I'm sorry, but you wouldn't have liked the truth any better. You distract me from the mission, and that means I can't be with you. At least this way you can hate me.//

{Truth is not kind
And you've said neither am I}

The other blinked a few times, then his face hardened even as tears escaped down his cheeks. His voice was low and harsh, "You bastard, you cold, unfeeling bastard."

{And the air outside so soft is saying everything
Everything}

Heero left him alone, going instead to sit with Wing. Wing never judged him. But still, he couldn't escape his thoughts. He was a bastard. A bastard for being so cold, a bastard for turning away from all of the gentleness, all of the love. Yes, love. Staring back toward the safehouse, he realized though he hated himself for turning against the one he loved, he had also turned against himself.

{All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say}

"I'm a fool." Heero addressed the cool air of the evening. He focused on the glow of warmth coming from one of the windows, saw him there, smiling at the others, sharing the warmth of his spirit. It made it seem even darker and colder out here, leaning against Wing.

{Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul}

//I should go back in, and tell him the truth. I should beg him to forgive me, I should ask him to love me again.// Heero sighed. He knew he wouldn't. It didn't matter how much he wanted it.

{But we wouldn't be that brave I know
And the air outside so soft, confessing everything
Everything}

"I love you." He told the image in his mind, the closest he would come to actually telling him. He couldn't. One small word had sealed his fate. He couldn't go back.

{And it won't matter now
Whatever happens will be
Though the air speaks of all we'll never be
It won't trouble me}

Heero sat sealed in his contemplation, not even noticing the approach of the other pilot, the object of his affections. He was caught up in his fantasy, daydreaming of being wrapped up in his arms, warmed by love. So caught up fantasy and reality blended, caught up in the feel of a pair of warm arms wrapped around him. He sank into the feeling, relishing the sensation, though he didn't dare speak. It might break the magic.

{And it feels so close
Let it take me in
Let it hold me so
I can feel it say}

"I love you, Heero. And we can make this work, if you'll work with me."

Heero hugged him closer, "I'll try, koi, I'll try."

Then Heero woke from his daydream. The object of his desire was still inside the safehouse.

And Heero was still out in the cold.

~~Owari~~

I'm not sure who the other pilot is. Any suggestions?