Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ An American Education ❯ One-Shot

American Education

Warnings: mild shonen ai, school violence,

Setting: An American high school. Disclaimers: Gundam Wing characters belong to Mixx Entertainment, Koichi Tokita, the SOTSU Agency, Sunrise, Kodansha and anyone I may have forgotten, not to me. I make no money off of this.

Other info: this was almost another "Pull Duo's Braid" fic, but it decided it was something else while I was writing it. Not too humorous, unless you like random violence in school

"American schools are not run efficiently," Heero muttered.

"They sure are...interesting, though," Quatre admitted, smiling shyly at the dozen or so girls who wouldn't stop eyeing them in the hallways.

"I'll say!" Duo grinned, throwing his locker wide open. "It's great to be back in familiar territory. Just wish they'd stop giving us so many damn books, but I guess some things never change." His eyes lit up as he pulled a slip of paper out. "Whoa, all right! Glad to see I still got it!"

"Got what?" Trowa asked curiously. "Is that a note?"

"What are those little hearts for?" Heero wondered.

"It's a love note!" Duo giggled, doing a little happy dance. "Let's see, let's see...it's from Liza! She thinks I'm super cute! Oh, she wants to see me during chemistry!" His happy dance got more frenzied as he held his hands victoriously up in the air, attracting weird looks from everyone.

"No!" Wufei snapped, snatching the note from his hands. "I don't want anything happening with you two in chemistry!"

"Yeah," Quatre nodded. "We don't want any more things getting blown up. Especially my dear Trowa's bang!"

Trowa sighed at the singe marks still at the tips of his hair.

"Awww," Duo sighed, "no fair."

Heero grabbed his braid and gave it a jerk. "Duo, don't you think you should be less interested in other people, at least when I'm around!"

"Aha, so you are jealous!" Duo laughed, pointing at Heero's blushing face. "Ai shiteru, Heero!"

"Duo!" Quatre gasped. "You shouldn't say that in public, we'll just get even more attention!"

"Relax, buddy," Duo waved him off, slamming his locker shut. "Hardly any Americans speak a foreign language, especially not high school students!"

"That is deplorable," Wufei griped. "Why would anyone allow their student to go so woefully uneducated?"

"Mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch!" came the angry yell from down the hall.

"Shit-face cock-sucker!" came the second angry yell.

Everyone turned and watched as two boys dropped their books and started beating the crap out of each other. People nearest backed away to form a tight circle as the crowd of students turned into an audience.

"Isn't anyone going to stop them?" Quatre gasped, one hand pressed to his mouth.

Duo shrugged. "Nah, why?"

The first fighter picked up a thick biology book and started slamming it down on the second fighter's head, until he grabbed the broken desk sitting outside one of the class doors and blocked the book before shoving the metal leg into the other guy's face.

"This is so...brutal," Trowa said softly.

"Where are the teachers?" Wufei asked, looking around.

"It's against the law for teachers to touch students," Duo said in a rather nonchalant voice. "Besides, security will take care of it in a moment."

"Security?" Heero repeated. "In a school?"

"Yeah, I know," Duo said in an amazed voice. "For some reason, everyone thinks we need security guards. Really, it's not like everyone shoots their classmates, that's just a bad rap we got. It's just a stupid fight. Ah well, come on, we're gonna be late for class."

As he started walking, they gaped at him in surprise before getting their wits together and following him.

"Did normal American students really bring guns to school once?" Quatre asked nervously.

"Still do," Duo chirped cheerfully, as if it was nothing. "Except a few idiots got stupid a ways back and went columbine. Really, the guns are just for self-defense. Most of the girls just stick to knives." To their relief, class lay on the opposite end of the hallway, away from the fight, and they walked past the students rushing to view the fight before it was over.

"What do you mean, they 'went columbine'?" Wufei asked. "I've never heard the term before."

"I'm not too sure where that comes from," Duo said thoughtfully. "I heard that a real long time ago, these two guys got tired of taking shit off of the preppies and the jocks--"

"Who?" Quatre asked, also not used to the terminology.

"The popular kids," Duo clarified. "They got ragged on like all nerds and freaks do, so they grabbed some guns and did some body counting before they killed themselves. Frankly, I don't believe that last part."

After what they'd just seen in the hallway, Heero had to ask why not.

"Well, see, this was way back. People didn't expect that kind of violence to break out, not on that big a scale. Gunning unsuspecting, unarmed students down, that's weak, man...I can't believe they'd be brave enough to kill themselves. Everyone says it's cowardly, but...man, that still takes guts."

"Specifically, theirs," Wufei added dryly.

Finally they arrived at class and took their seats at the back. "Hey, Heero, is this the one?"

Switching gears back to the mission at hand, the five pilots glanced up at the teacher, a tall but rather ugly woman who looked like she could bench press any of the students.

Heero nodded. "She's the Oz undercover agent with the information we need. I've heard she keeps the disk in her desk somewhere when she's at school."

"You think Oz knows we're here?" Quatre asked. "She looks too mean to be a real teacher."

Duo snickered when he heard that. "Trust me, she's not the worst I've seen."

"All right, class," the teacher opened her mouth. "I'll be handing out the paints now, so no antics today since these are oils. I expect to see your projects at least partly done, since they'll be due on Friday." She gave Duo an odd look, but shook her head to herself. Strange, he looks kinda familiar...

"Due on Friday?" Wufei gasped in a low voice. "Artwork in three days? Is that onna really this stupid?"

"She more retentive than Heero," Duo nodded.

Heero glared but didn't dignify his remark with a response.

"But...my painting lessons could last for weeks," Quatre argued weakly.

"This is almost as bad as having to diagram sentences," Trowa said. "Or complete those endless algebra worksheets."

"All these people do is assign busywork," Duo tried to explain. "If you learn, great. If not, too bad."

"That's it," Wufei grumbled. "I don't want to waste another minute here. This isn't a place of learning in the least!"

Duo sighed and leaned back, watching as the teacher set a bunch of oil paints on the pilots' communal art table. "Maybe not the kind you're used to, yeah, but...trust me, American students get a good education, just not in what you think."

"I still want this over with," Wufei said firmly. "Can we just grab the disk and go?"

"Yes," Heero nodded. "I'll go up to ask for--"

"No, hold on," Duo said, a grin spreading over his face. "I've got a better idea. If we're lucky, we'll get out of here without anyone noticing for awhile." He grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled something rather hasty inside, then folded it up and passed it to Heero. "Pass that to the next table and say 'pass it to Andrew'."

Heero blinked, but he did as he was told without question. To his surprise, the other students just nodded and passed the note along to its proper destination. Every student was careful to wait until the teacher's watchful gaze wandered to some other student before sending it off. To someone watching, it seemed like they had rehearsed and practiced the routine thousands of times.

The class was quiet, save for uneasy whispers and murmurs. Then they heard a muttered "what the fuck--?"

The teacher's head snapped up as she looked around. "All right, who said that?"

No one even met her eyes. Quatre, used to answering his instructors, took a deep breath, about to tell her when Trowa lightly lay his hand on Quatre's thigh. The motion startled the small blonde, but the look in Trowa's eyes told him he didn't have to say anything here. Understanding, Quatre nodded slightly and kept his eyes lowered. After a moment, the teacher decided to let it slide and returned to the work at her desk.

Half a minute later, another note passed back to Heero, who handed it to Duo, the only one who seemed to know what he was doing here. Duo kept his face blank and simply handed it along to the next table. A red head at the table opened up the note, read it, and immediately his face darkened with rage.

"That bastard..."

Fortunately this time the teacher didn't hear it, and soon one more note went back to the first recipient.

"Duo?" Heero asked, confused by what was happening.

"Just watch," Duo smirked.

"You little prick!"

Alerted by the cry, the entire class looked up and watched as Andrew grabbed the oil paint on his table and flung it across the room, splattering some on the red head but mostly hitting a bunch of innocents as well. The red head snarled and threw his paint, nailing even more students, and now other teens were grabbing paint and retaliating for their mottled clothing. Shouts and threats burst out while the red head and Andrew leaped over their desks, throwing punches wildly.

"Class! Stop it!" the teacher yelled in a panic, standing up and pressing the intercom to request security officers from the office.

"Down!" Duo told his comrades, and they all ducked beneath the table. "Just follow me, and we'll be out of here in no time!"

Keeping his braid in sight, Heero came right after him, Quatre and Trowa behind him with Wufei bringing up the rear. They managed to dodge the flying paints and screaming students, but as the teacher was distracted with the fight, Duo ransacked her desk and found a collection of disks which he slipped into his clothes. As he stood back up, he met the gaze of the teacher across the room, her dress covered in bright oil paints and her left eye blackened.

"You!" she suddenly screamed in recognition. "The pilot who escaped!" She tried to fight her way back towards him, but there were too many students in her way.

Duo laughed at her predicament and held his hand up in a Victory sign. "Shinigami, at your service!"

Heero, meanwhile, tossed a tiny black box into the corner of the room and pulled Duo out. "Baka."

As they ran out of the class room, they found Wufei and Trowa dispatching two security officers with well-placed kicks while Quatre was busy picking the lock on the chains that held the emergency fire door shut. Once they were out, Heero turned and pressed a small detonator in his hand.

*krump*

Duo cackled maniacally as he heard the familiar sound of a low-grade explosive, followed by the whoosh of the sprinklers. "Fire alarm, Heero?"

"I thought it might slow them down," he commented. "Keep your head lowered."

They cut across the field behind the school and scrambled up over the wall, Quatre being helped up first so he could pull the others up after him. After that, it was a quick sprint to the student parking lot and then they were off on their motorcycles.

"Duo!" Heero called. "Does this happen every day here?"

"The fighting?" Duo called back, leaning over on his bike. "Well, I think the bomb pushed it over the edge, but otherwise, yeah! Fun, huh?"

Wufei just sadly shook his head. "Not really, but it does explain why you Americans are so crazy."

The End