Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Anathema ❯ Seasons of Silence ( Chapter 3 )

Hello muh faithfuls.

DISCLAIMER: Sunrise, Sotsu, Bandai brilliant group of guys in Japan. I own nothing but the fic. Not the characters. So heed my plea, don't sue. You will get my rabid cat, Z.

CATEGORY: Angst, romance (finally!)

WARNINGS: Still an angst fiesta, yaoi , romance, oh the romance, OOC to *some* people, not me tho. A teeny bit of Trowa and Quatre bashing/bastardization. Sorry! I just like to expand my horizons when it comes to drama! I love all of the G Boys! ^^;;; They hate me huh Nanashi?

Trowa: Yea, pretty much.

LunaSeraph: ::sighing::

Trowa: Don't worry you'll write a fic compensating for the damage you've caused right?

LunaSeraph: Yea sure, whatever. Ok, I have a fic called "Angel of Mine" coming up after my Anathema crusade is over. 3x5/5x3 yummy. And Trowa you *are* an angel, sorry for bastardizing you in this fic! V_V;

Trowa: It's all good , as long as the next fic makes me look *really* good.

LunaSeraph: ^^ I love you Trowa ::glomps him::

PAIRINGS: 1+5/1x5 later, 2x1/1x2 past, 3x4, 3x5(past) complicated ne? Oy vey.

Okies. Enjoy.

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Seasons of Silence

by LunaSeraph

"If you could keep one thing from him what would it be?" Heero frowned at the question. Noin looked him up and down sadly, amazed at how fatigued the perfect soldier had become. His eyes had revealed a bit of sadness that day. Although he did help a great deal on the case up on L3, the investigation was not over. Handing the report to his bosses down on earth and visiting other workplaces he gave his time to, Heero was indeed exhausted.

"I'm taking a vacation." He said grumpily and walked out of the older woman's office. She sighed and shook her head, not wanting to chase him and ask him what the hell was going on between he and Wufei.

It had been a month since Duo left, giving the house time to recuperate from the vibrant American's absence. Every dream given to Heero consisted of his ex-lover. He wept in secrecy, and always the silent ones the house seemed to be occupied by mutes.

The screaming had come to an end on Wufei's part. But he could still hear them, he could still feel Trowa reaching out for him in pain. Needing assistance with his self inflicted ailment, Trowa would shriek in through the window to Wufei's left. He never wanted to let go of his lover. Wufei clutched at his sheets cringing beneath the onslaught of self destructive thoughts. Heero was coming home.

"Wufei?" The Japanese boy peered in through the door, seeing his ill friend on the window sill again. A lot had changed in those months. His hands were free from the bandages and played the piano again. Heero sighed as he recalled the episode in the parlor when he admitted his love for that boy. Wufei slammed his fists into the keys and ran out of the room. And the next day he had pretended nothing ever happened. It was too strange, even for Heero; to see the fading dragon perform a series of disturbing behavior, and then act perfectly normal the next day.

"What do you feel like eating tonight?" Heero walked into the dark room hands in his pocket and eyes on his love. The ill boy sighed and turned around, smiling gently at this Japanese young man, who had taken care of him for that month.

"Anything you like. I don't care." He said sincerely and resumed his gaze upon the lake. The snow was clouding up the view, yet he knew it was there, it would always be there for him to admire.

"You want Mexican food tonight?" Heero blandly suggested and sat down beside his friend.

"Sure. Why not?" Wufei afforded again. He could not have been more stronger. His time with Heero had amplified his voice. But he could still sense his mind tearing away and his body crumbling. The taller youth nodded and stood, he took in his surroundings and the constant anxiety that was allowed to condition the rooms.

//They are your breathing. They are your spit. They are what comes in after he sucks your dick.\\

Gasping in surprise, Wufei jumped and backed up against the wall. Heero frowned and tilted his head in confusion. Of course, strange behavior was now something that happened quite often on Wufei's part, yet his friend looked fearful and disturbed.

"Wufei? What's the matter?" He strode over, in attempt to console the boy. He lifted his hand, only to recieve a sock in the face. And this wasn't a feeble sock that would come from that ill-fated boy mind you, it was a hell of a punch. The kind that accompanied Wufei during the war, the kind that allowed justice to be served. Wufei darted out the door.

//He is your breathing. He is your spit. He is what comes in after he sucks your dick\\

Heero clutched his nose, frowning angrily at the blood that came spewing out. He felt his head and the throbbing that came with the unexpected blow. //What the hell happened just now?!\\ He stood from his spot after being knocked onto the floor, and chased after the Chinese boy.

"Wufei!" He shouted, a bit muffled by his hand cupping the blood shooting out from his poor nose. On his way through the hallways, he reached for some toilet paper. As soon as he reached the living room, he saw Wufei running like mad outside in the snow towards the lake.

Now, it was cold, Heero grabbed a coat and dashed outside hopefully in time. He could see Wufei moving as fast as his frail body could take him through the knee deep snow beside the lake. It was horrifying to Heero of course that Wufei could possibly ever consider jumping in that nearly frozen mass of water. //He wouldn't\\ Heero began to pump his legs harder, gaining ground on the crazed ex-pilot heading towards his inevitable death.

"Wufei! Stop right now!" Heero shouted and leapt fowards taking the smaller boy down as fast as he could. He gripped the boy by the ankles, a bit relieved that Wufei was not as strong as he used to be. But he struggled. Wufei shrieked like mad and thrashed hopelessly in the snow, burying his anguished expression in the powdery substance. Wufei's voice, inaudible his eyes unreadable, all Heero could do was rise and lift the defiant boy and sling him over his shoulder. A bit unnerved by this measure he walked back to the house.

//He can hear you no longer. And his heart is with someone else. Bite your sky and become the dirt in the ground.\\

Wufei croaked against his captor's back, he struggled slightly, very baffled as to why his escape didn't succeed. Heero sighed and sat his friend on the toilet. He turned on the bathtub.

Heero passed the sponge down Wufei's back, who was seated, his knees to his chest and his eyes on the wall. Of the cold, it melted away with the warm soothing water Heero had provided. They sat in silence of course, never really wanting to make eye contact. But Heero knew he could not bite back his questions this time.

"Why Wufei?" He asked emotionlessly. The naked boy sighed and frowned at the tempest in his mind. How irritating this mockery was.

"..." He laid his head on his knees, closing tired eyes to the uneven surface of the sponge making its way down his back. Heero was perfectly comfortable with the situation, they had been naked together before. In fact, he recalled situations with every single pilot that included no modesty. A bit saddened by that thought, Heero turned to look for a towel.

"Heero?" Wufei called out of the bathroom. He stood unflinting to the cold the house possessed and stepped out of the bathtub.

The hallway was empty and dark, but he stepped carefully, attempting to find whatever he could in that desolate house.

"Wufei! Where are you?" Heero called. The boy cursed as he returned to the empty bathtub.

"Heero." Wufei answered, a bit agitatedly. He sat on the window sill again, his head on his knees, his eyes on the lake.

"Wufei!" Heero sighed and wrapped him up in the towel he had gotten. Neither boy spoke for nearly a minute.

"Heero. He's on L3 right?"

"Yes. Wufei? Why are you asking that?" Heero sat down on the sill and looked Wufei in the eyes.

"I can still hear him you know. I don't want to. But I can." Heero frowned, almost in jealousy; but mostly in anger.

"Thats enough for tonight Wufei. I think its time to eat." Heero stood and walked over to the closet where Wufei's worn out clothes rested. He didn't have much now. //I should really go out and buy him some new clothes.\\ Heero concluded. He found none of Wufei's clothing appropriate for sleep, or just lounging around the house.

Walking Wufei to his own room, Heero pulled out a crisp pajama shirt of his own and a pair of sweat pants for his housemate to borrow.

Wufei walked beside his housemate, smiling gently at the strange and perturbing turn of events. Finding himself in Heero's clothing created a bit of giddiness in his well deserving heart.

They enjoyed a fine dish of tacos Heero had cooked for his friend and himself. His pasta skills were compensated with the delicious assortment of Mexican recipes he had in the house. Wufei ate eagerly, feeling brand new with the pajama.

"Are you allright?" Heero asked tiredly on his side of the table. Wufei nodded gently and

allowed his eyes to gray in thought.

//He is my air tonight.\\ "Air."

"Hm?" Heero looked up from his rice at the lonely word that was uttered.

"nothing."

`````

"I wish we could go swimming Heero." Wufei leaned against his housemate on a log beside the lake that formed as a bench for the moment. Heero smiled and put an arm around his friend, sheilding him from some of the falling snow. They sat bundled up in new winter gear and enjoying the pleasant fall of powder that surrounded them. The lake was nearly frozen, and Wufei so dearly wanted to wade in the water.

It was the end of December now. Of course, Heero had taken in the holiday of Christmas from his ex-lover. It felt so empty though. Wufei was Buddhist, leaving room for change. Heero reached inside his jacket for the present he wanted to give. It was Wufei's birthday after all. And it was Christmas, how ironic.

"Wufei. I thought you would like this." Heero handed Wufei a flat packet with an exterior of gold and silver colored wrapping. He eyed it lazily and took it, a bit reluctantly. Opening it he smiled genuinely. It was sheet music. the same packet he had left on L3, except it was new. New. Untouched. Wufei smiled.

"I'm sorry. I don't have anything to give you." Wufei said softly. Heero smirked and gazed back at the lake.

"Just get well for me Wufei. That's all you need to give me. Happy birthday." And with that he pressed his warm lips to Wufei's, who seemed unflinting at the moment. But afterwards he pressed closer to the Japanese boy he had been growing to love.

//Get well huh? We shall see who still breathes once I am let loose.\\ Wufei thought sardonically.

`````

Winter was fading away now. Wufei thought regretfully; //why did we not play in the snow enough? \\ Oh well. This meant time in the lake would be coming soon. Grinning at the chilly morning's sunrise, he felt more frivolous than usual. A stern cup of coffee would do him good. Perhaps Heero would allow him time on the piano again.

//I have allowed my strength to be popped away before. He is up there somewhere and I know he loves me.\\

"You better put something warm on Wufei." Heero scolded in monotone, emerging from the hallway's darkness. They glanced at each other shyly and continued with their activities.

"I'm fine, thank you." Wufei said from the couch, sipping on the hot cup of mocha latte he had prepared. "Mm. There's some more in the pot if you'd like some."

"Yes. Thank you." Quiet mornings. Wufei loved these; the lake was so much more beautiful during these times. And he felt the spring boded his health to improve and his strength return.

"I never know what to say when a morning like this is murdered by my voice,"

"Nani?"

"Nothing. Forget I said anything." Wufei chuckled and rose to meet Heero's eyes. Smiling sweetly at each other they decided to go for a walk.

Walks were routine now. Wrapped up in sweaters and scarves, they stepped out into the chilly March morning, grinning up at the partly cloudy sky.

"Heero, look the water's not frozen!" Wufei ran to the bank beside the water, followed closely by a cautious and watchful Heero. The Asian boys peered into the water, amazed at how quickly spring had come. "Isn't it beautiful? Oh I wish we could go swimming." Wufei sighed and closed his eyes against the wind. They stood in silence and then continued on their walk through the partially wooded area.

They came to a stop near a bench positioned adjacent to a north stretching cherry blossom tree. Heero wrapped his arms around Wufei and kissed him gently. Of course Wufei kissed back.

"You know I love you." Heero said seriously.

"..." Wufei frowned. He grew very agitated when Heero spoke like this. Yes he adored Heero and yes he loved him. But he didn't think he was in love with him! Groaning he crossed his arms and scowled.

"What's wrong?"

"Shut up." Wufei walked on ahead, never looking back at that beautifully gentle boy who had taken him in. At the thought of Heero, guilt raided through his heart. //Trowa. I love you.\\ Wufei halted beside a tree and sunk to the ground, clutching his mouth attempting to impede the sobs that threatened to come about. //Trowa. I love you.\\

"Wufei."

//Trowa. I need you here. Why did you let Heero take me away?\\

"Wufei. It's ok." Feeling alien arms around his shoulders, Wufei pulled away violently, but froze when he found himself looking up into eyes of emerald now. It was Trowa. He smiled and jumped up into the strong arms he loved to challenge. It was Trowa. //Trowa! You're here! I waited for so long!\\

"Wufei!" Heero gasped as an excited boy, who had been angry less than a moment ago, was in his arms kissing him and laughing into his right ear.

"It's you! You came for me! It's you!" He jumped up and down excitedly, only to recieve a pair of hands gripping his shoulders and shaking him.

"Wufei stop. What's the matter?" Heero asked sadly. His hands were slapped away.

"Stop touching me dammit! Fuck off!" Wufei shouted and raced down the dirt path amidst the trees. Heero cursed and followed suit. Unfortunately, Wufei was full of energy today. Heero watched in meer horror and Wufei leapt off the bank and into the water below.

Fearing that his friend could not maintain to keep himself afloat with that heavy clothing he was wearing and his current state of health, Heero kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket aside, diving nimbly into the cold lake twenty feet off of the bank.

*****

"If you could keep him from one thing what would it be?"

"Himself."

*****

Heero woke up violently at the sudden shriek coming from his roomate. It had been a week since the lake incident. Of course Heero had found a grinning and naked Wufei swimming about in the forty degree water. Now, Wufei slept in his room on the bed, while Heero dozed on the love couch right in front of the queen sized furnishing. He stared wide eyed into the darkness as Wufei thrashed about under the nightmare. Deciding to let it alone, Heero attempted to resume sleeping.

His love wailed into the tangible darkness that surrounded them. Covering his ears with a pillow, he sighed aloud. He did not know how long he could take the racket.

"Mn. Heero!" Wufei called out, reaching into the blackness of the night. Heero snapped and darted towards the bed. His roomate was on his belly clutching the sheets in apparent desperation. Heero smiled gently and stroked his friend's head, who began to soften at once and drifted off into the refuge of pleasant dreams. He decided to sleep beside his friend that night, basking in the feel of that body sharing his own heat.

"Wufei..."

"Heero?" Wufei asked meekly, he looked up as a brilliant shaft of moonlight hit the room. The perfect soldier started and stared down at a now awake Wufei.

"What is it? Are you ok? Do you not want me here?"

"No-it's o-k. Please stay." He whispered and held onto Heero's waist tightly. They both smiled and stared at each other. Wufei looked so tranquil in the moonlight. Heero disregarded the fact that Wufei was half way sedated and took the time to stare into his placidic little love. As they laid there in the moonlight, they kissed. Wufei meant it this time. He kissed Heero, with all his heart, with all his soul. He wanted this.

"Wufei-ah Wufei stop," Heero protested as Wufei raked his hands up and down Heero's smooth back.

"Why?" Wufei asked a bit confused.

"I can't let you do this. I can't. You are not sure of yourself right now."

"Oh come off it. I love you Heero." Wufei said sweetly.

"Nani?!" Heero's eyes widened and he sat up. "You can't mean that!" He stood and sat back down on his small couch. He soon regretted it as he saw Wufei's eyes grow wide and glossy under the moonlight. "Wufei...don't look at me like that."

"You said you loved me! You liar! Injustice!" Wufei stood on the bed and tore the sheets off. He wrapped them around his body and scampered off into the rooms of the house. Heero didn't know whether to follow him or to start laughing. It was a hilarious sight. He followed, while chuckling.

"Come on Wufei. You still have not let go of Trowa." Heero boomed into the rooms. Wufei's snort could be heard.

"Yes I have. Do you hear me shrieking so?"

"Wufei, tell me. You cannot say you love me. Not until I know, you love him no longer."

"..."

"Wufei?"

"I love him no longer."

"...really?" Heero asked. He sounded truthful. He knew Wufei could never lie about love, about his feelings. It was impossible. Heero almost yelped as a hyper active Wufei jumped on him with the bed sheets and smiled. They laid there on the floor, wrapped in the silk bed linen , nose to nose, lips to lips, breath to breath.

"Really."

Parting his lips, Wufei allowed his new love into his mouth. That same mouth that wailed and screamed for so long. It emitted nothing but sighs and gasps now. Lying in an entwined state beneath the moonlight, Heero carressed his fragile and still spunky lover's arms, still able to feel the skin's past. He could feel this body's vibrating history and he curled up around it, kissing every exposed inch of skin. His smaller lover extended his slender arms and began to kiss his lover once again.

Heero positioned himself above Wufei and pressed his lips with his. Without warning, Wufei stiffened and grew uneasy. Heero ceased at once. They remained in that awkward silence for some time before Wufei shook it off. He smiled.

"It's ok Heero. You can take me. I don't mind." Heero tilted his head. Wufei laid back and spread his legs.

"You don't mind..." Heero half chuckled. Wufei meerely smiled and waited for Heero to begin. But this Japanese boy wasn't ready to start making love yet. He laid his head on Wufei's belly and sighed. He could almost hear the sadness, the dying life inside. And it made him teary eyed, it handed agony to him in an envelope. The envelope on the drawer that said, "Request for Wufei Chang to report to Samatho Behavioral Clinic at once." It was weariness, depression, an anathema, everything that destroyed moving spirits. And it was destroying his own.

"I love you too much Wufei." Heero whispered. He wanted to take his love, but knew there would be dire consequences to come if he did so. Wufei stretched out and placed his left hand over Heero's resting head.

"Heero." Wufei asked. They made love.[1]

`````

"I don't like these." Heero grimaced at the hickies on his lover's delicate neck. Wufei smiled.

"Why?"

"They look too much like-" Heero stopped and shut up. Wufei rolled his eyes and held his lover's hand.

"It's your print of love Heero. And they didn't hurt one bit." Heero sighed and relaxed with his lover in his arms. The sun was rising over their bed now and it was glorious. This morning was different than the others. It held an eerie promise and yet it also held a quiet fog of dread meandering about the household.

Heero rose to the knock on his front door. Wufei simply smiled and stretched out on the bed. The Japanese boy walked to the house's twin doors.

"Hey Heero."

"Duo." Heero grew wide-eyed at the unexpected visit. The braided ex-pilot grinned as if nothing had happened and he strode into the house.

"So what's been goin' down?" He chirped. Heero simply stood still, shirtless, and in pajama bottoms. Duo rose an eyebrow and smirked.

"Oh come on Heero, it's been half a year. You can't tell me you're still bitter."

"Me bitter?" Heero asked a bit surprised how Duo was still able to be happy-go-lucky after all this time.

"Yea. So where's Wufei?" He asked and walked towards the hallway. Heero hastened in front of his ex-lover and stopped him in his tracks.

"None of your business. Please Duo, remain in the living room."

"Fine!" Duo pouted and plopped down on the couch, in front of the television.

`````

"He's getting better. I just don't know if its enough though." Heero leaned on the meter high wooden post that sat outside his house. Duo was beside him smoking a cigarette and enjoying the sight of the lake again.

"Maybe you're trying too hard. You should just treat him normally, you know? Let him get well on his own."

"They want him Duo."

"What?" Duo asked and opened the paper Heero handed to him.

"Samatho Behavioral Clinic. They want him there. If I don't let them take him within a month, they'll do it by force."

"They can't do that! Isn't that against the law or somethin'" Duo offered. Heero shrugged and pulled out a cigarette from Duo's box. "Heero, you can't let them do this. You have to explain why you're capable of handling him being here. they'll believe you. You're Heero Yuy."

"That won't be enough, I'm afraid. They fear his health is at risk so far away from a medical facility."

"well, just get an apartment in the city."

"I can't. He likes it here too much. It would be too complicated."

"Oh Heero. You're so inflexible...I mean financially...he he." Duo giggled at Heero's blushing. They smiled at one another and found themselves kissing for the first time in half a year. Heero sighed against those familiar lips and the cigarette flavor they were sharing.

"Why did you come?" Heero asked pulling away once his eyes landed on his room window.

"Oh, just to make sure there were no hard feelings. I think you need some support right now anyhow. Wufei seems like a handful for you. Have you even been able to go to work?"

"Yeah. He sleeps most of the morning and I work around that time. Plus I do alot of my assignments here at the house."

"Wow. You must be exhausted." Duo smirked and slung his arm around Heero. They kissed once again, simply, sweetly.

"It's good to see you again." Heero whispered leaning in to embrace his ex-love, basking in the utterly fresh amount of relief that washed over him when he did so.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Wufei'll get better. Trust me, do I ever lie?" Heero smiled and walked his friend back towards the house they once shared.

`````

"look Heero. Look at the water!" Wufei waded in carefully, and smiled at the coolness that surrounded his legs. Heero smiled and stood cautiously on the shore, watching his giddy lover splashing around noisily. It was early in May now and very warm. Heero supposed the hospital wasn't as serious as they sounded in their letter, considering the fact that they never asked for Wufei again.

"Heero. Just look at the water..." Wufei breathed, his heart racing at the ghostly feel of water surrounding him this way. He crouched down allowing the water to cradle him in a strange manner. The Japanese youth on the land smiled gently and sat on a log, his jeans and denim jacket preventing him from wading with Wufei. he should have brought some lighter clothes. It would have been fun to bathe with his lover. The sun shone brightly in the sky, shying a bit behind a couple of puffy white clouds. Birds made their way around the trees, chirping and singing together. A blade of nostalgia began to make its way down Wufei's wet back. He recalled how much Trowa loved the trees, how much they loved to watch nature at its most beautiful moments

//Bah those are all in the past now. Keep your hideousness below the surface and spare them your anathema boy.\\

"Heero?" The perfect soldier snapped at the voice coming from the water. "I love you."

`````

//Weak. Meek. Mute. Womanly and Sheek. Keep your head below the water.

Weak. Meek. Mute. Womanly and Sheek. Keep your head below the water.\\

"They mock you don't they?"

"What?"

"Your dreams. You don't scream anymore. But I can tell when your mind is shrieking at you. Do they?"

"These are seasons of silence Heero. Don't ruin it for me with stupid questions."

//Weak. Meek. Mute. Womanly and Sheek. Keep your head below the water.[1]

He exists no longer. Trowa is gone. My shame is yours forever. Heero is not mine.

I have cursed him with my endless evil. Evil. This I am. This is true. Keep my head below the water.\\

``````

Heero frowned into the night air as he walked steadily to the source of the noise he was hearing. His only companion was absent and it was just a little after midnight. Of course Heero panicked and searched the house. Not long after did he hear an eerie voice singing outside of his home. It's volume had risen to the point where Heero could tell it was Wufei's and he was in the lake.

The Japanese youth touched the trees lightly, guiding himself through the wilderness that surrounded his house. Everything was black, as black as the eyes he had been wandering through every night for that year. Wufei had requested a midnight swim, but it was October now and much too cold for that fading boy to risk his health in that water. Heero walked like a phantom, feeling his love's dying spirit wading about in the darkness of the water.

"Wufei!" Heero called out. He furrowed his brow and set foward, hoping the moonlight would cut through the clouds and shine on Wufei. //I can't see you. Where are you?\\

"Brilliant Heero. You found me!" Wufei giggled and spun around innocently in the shallow end of the lake. He laughed up into the sky, and splashed his face with that crystal clear substance. His hair had grown that year, and it was well past his lower back; never cutting it after the wars. It was free from it's queue, each strand dancing merrily with Wufei's movements. Water etched every inch of him, he looked beautiful. Heero sighed, relieved to find Wufei this way, so serene. The laughter was a beacon. A beacon and yet almost a warning of what was to make its way into Heero's life.

"Wufei. You need to come inside. You're very ill. do you know how ill you are? Wufei!" Heero growled as the Chinese boy made his way even deeper, and began to bathe and dive beneath the surface.

"So, I'm dying Heero. Let me enjoy my final days." Heero cursed at the enormous pang that made its way into his heart when Wufei casually said those words.

"...Wufei..." Heero warned. Without hesitation, he began to wade in towards the middle of the lake, where Wufei was headed; backstroking. "Wufei! Get back here!"

The ailing boy meerely chuckled and began to make his way back to the shallow end, enjoying the fact that Heero was not having as much fun as he was during that pursuit.

"Wufei. Have you surrendered to them yet? I know you haven't. After all this time, you still will not let me help you! Wufei!" Heero bellied out and glared at his disturbed lover, who ceased his swimming and was standing eyeing him sadly.

"Why won't you leave me alone? I love you Heero. Isn't that what you want?" They remained silent beneath the now present moonlight, eyeing each other, as if reading thoughts.

"I need you...to get well for me. But you still have not let go of him. I know you want to Wufei. But you haven't." Wufei sighed as Heero drew closer, pushing against the stubborness of the lake. He drooped his head in thought, studying the buttons of his old quipao.

"I can't Heero. It will be the end of me, you understand. And I won't be able to love you anymore."

"You're confused Wufei. You can love me. You can feel me. I just need you to hear me and tell me that he is no longer in your heart the way he used to be." Heero gripped the sides of his lover's face, demanding that Wufei answer promptly.

"It will be the end of me Heero. I will die." Wufei said simply. Heero felt the urge to slap some sense into this boy. But resisted dutifully as he recognized that is what started this all.

"Then if it will end you. It will give you peace. But I will still love you."

"I know."

"Then let go."

"There. I let go. Happy?"

"..Wufei..." Heero shook his head and wrapped his arms around Wufei so suddenly, the smaller boy gasped. They remained like that beneath the moonlight, entranced in their personal breakthrough, and the fact that Heero had sacrificed a whole lot to give his lover peace. To give him everything he was still living to see.

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-_-. yes I know, confusing huh? Don't worry, if you didn't like it just tell me and I will do nothing to fix it whatso ever ^^. So anyway. I am done with this chunk of the Angst Epic as I named it. I personally liked it. It was tiring. Oh Jehovah, I'm tired. Its hard keeping up w/ fics, school, and work ya know.

There will be yet another installment to this saga of love, angst and insanity. And I hope you read it. I don't know if I should make it a death fic or not. O well , we'll see. So lets see, what else? Not too much Trowa/Quatre in this fic huh? To be honest I love them too much to bastardize them. So I held back. Yay.

Trowa: Lucky us.

LunaSeraph: Maybe in the next one...

Quatre: No no no no! Please, I've had enough of this druggy and sex addict habit.

LunaSeraph: Its just a fanfic Quatre-chan!

Quatre: Oh yea.

LunaSeraph&Trowa: Oi vey!

LunaSeraph: Jinx! You owe me a Coke! he he

Trowa: Dammit.

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NOTES:

[1] Oy, I wish I could write a lemon here! ::whines in frustration:: O well, perhaps I could email one of you guys who ask the side lemon I wrote to this. ::shrugs:: Help yourself.

[2] This is an ancient phrase/idiom/retarded piece of primal limerick thingy that my gramma used to say all the time. It's a hispanic limerick, I don't know I'm only half hispanic who knows she could have made it up for all I know. Anywho it is used for someone who has come to a certain point of failure where they are content to die in that failure, someone who has reached the peak of their shame or something, like succumbing to a woman's level or something. Seemed right for my WuPanda at the time. Gomen, my blood is blasting with soda and coffee and stuff right now.

SO muh faithfuls, whatdcha think?

Dedications? No one, my grandma maybe for defying such retarded primal ethics. But tis all. Maybe to my faithfuls. Thats you. Not you flamer, but you , yeah you who is still reading Please review and don't be a meanie.