Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Arabian Nights ❯ One-Shot

Title: Arabian Nights
Author: Sylvia Spivey (SS.)
Warnings: OOC and strangeness
Summary: Quatre's sisters throw a party.

Note: This was written for Lyssira's DLC Line Challenge II in April 2003. This was my first attempt at a line challenge ever, and I got an honorable mention. To see the lines we were required to use in the fic, see the contest details at Dark Little Corners (www.angelfire.com/goth/lair0/dlclc.html).

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Question: What do you get when 29 nubile young women who have been secluded and repressed their entire lives inherit a fortune and the freedom to do whatever they want? Answer: One hell of a party.

Loud voices spiraled up the stairs of the spacious Winner estate, as well as occasional cursing in Arabic as the household prepared for the evening's event. Magnuacs cheerfully assisted in setting up wet bars and sound equipment, and the various voices of Quatre's sisters laughed and joked as they prepared for the party they'd planned.

In a large room on the second floor, Duo stood as naked as the day he was born, holding a curling iron in one hand and a decidedly feminine looking pair of black lace panties in the other. He blew his bangs back from his elfin face in frustration. "Someone remind me why we're doing this again?" he growled, glaring at Quatre.

Quatre shivered as he stepped into a similar, sky-blue pair of panties. He pulled them up his slender legs, before crossing his arms over his chest protectively and saying "They threatened to beat me with a baguette!!! And it wasn't even low-fat!" He looked down at his bare legs with a scared, guilty expression.

"Your sisters are some seriously weird women," Duo muttered as he pulled on the black panties. He twisted his head to peer over his shoulder at his ass, and tried to tug the lacy edges lower. "I mean, what kind of insane women threaten you with death by breadstuffs!" He waved the curling iron irately. "What kind of perverse, hentai people throw gender bender parties! And what kind of Arabians have fully-stocked wet bars, to boot!"

Iria popped her head into the room and grinned at Duo. "This from a nonpracticing Catholic?" She laughed as she walked in, and looked him up and down. "Nice panties," she leered as Duo tried to cover himself up.

"And Quatre," she smiled sweetly at her little brother. "I'm not threatening. I'm *persuading. *" She let her gaze roam over the group, lingering ever so slightly on bits of exposed flesh. "You boys had better finish getting dressed so you'll be ready. Here, you'll need these." She handed a small box to Quatre and left the room, winking and slapping Duo on the ass before she slipped back out the door.

The boys looked at each other in shocked silence. "She's only radioactive on Thursdays and Mondays," Trowa offered quietly with a wry grin. Quatre and Duo giggled, and the boys returned to their silent struggles with panties, stockings, and garters.

Suddenly a wail was heard from Wufei, who had been trying to get dressed in the corner. "My pantaloons don't fit!" The boys looked at each other and sweatdropped.

"They're panties, not pantaloons," Quatre corrected as he walked over to help Wufei. "Um. Specifically, that's a thong." He tilted his head and stared at the furiously blushing boy. "And you've got it on sideways."

"Kisama!" Wufei muttered. "Why would an onna wear something so uncomfortable?"

"You think you've got it bad?" Duo quipped. "Just look at the contraption I have to wear!" He tossed it at Heero's head. "At least it's wireless."

Heero looked at the item like he had never seen one before. "This bra is wireless? Does that make it cellular?"

The boys sweatdropped again. Duo snatched the bra back from Heero and put it on, grumbling the whole while. Heero watched with interest. Once Duo had the bra on the boys looked at the empty cups and smirked. Heero poked a finger into Duo's "breast" and asked, "Is it supposed to be that small?" Duo glared at him and swatted his finger away.

"Noooo, but ..." Duo looked at Quatre, and the boys eyed the box that Iria had left for them. Quatre picked up the box and opened it, revealing several silicone 'breast enhancers' to make their costumes more authentic. "Ewwww," Duo groaned. Trowa picked up one of the 'breasts' and held it out to examine it. It was a pearly pink color, nothing even vaguely resembling real flesh.

"Is it supposed to be that color?" Heero asked.

"I don't know," Trowa said. "But it's warm and shiny and it squishes between my fingers."

"Ewwww!" Duo and Quatre chorused.

Many curses (and some tears) later, the boys surveyed the results in a mirror. Wufei's eyes watered. "Hentai onnas," he said in a wavering voice. Heero clapped a sympathetic hand to his shoulder, and turned his attention to their reflections. Quatre's sisters ... were truly evil, he decided as he looked at the costumes they had been given for the party.

A sharp rap sounded on the door, and Iria came bustling back into the room. "Are you finally dressed?" She looked each one over with an appraising eye. "Damn, that's so cute! I knew the frilly dress look would be good on you, Quatre, and the white stockings and patent shoes really work. Twirl around," she ordered. Quatre stepped forward and obediently twirled, pale blue skirt and petticoat twirling out to reveal white thigh high stockings and a glimpse of thigh. Iria nodded approvingly. "Next. Trowa, what are you pouting about?" The green-eyed boy made a moue of disappointment. His outfit was similar to Quatre's, but black with black stockings and shoes. Iria considered him. "It needs something..." She rummaged in a bag she had brought in with her. Seconds later she had outfitted Quatre with dainty white kitty ears and a tail, and Trowa with a similar black set. Iria gave the boys a satisfied grin, and they slouched away warily as she turned to her next victims.

"Duo, Heero." Duo promptly hid behind Heero, peeking at Iria from over Heero's right shoulder. Heero glared, and Iria just shook her head and smiled. "That glare would be a lot more efficient if you two weren't dressed in schoolgirl uniforms, ne Hee-chan?" Her laughter filled the room. She glanced cursorily at their short skirts and stockings before nodding approval. "I can see why my sisters insisted on those costumes for you two." She shifted her gaze to Wufei, who was trying to hide behind a coat tree. "And what are you being so modest over?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him forward so she could look at his costume. A white leotard clung to his torso, while sheer white hose covered his legs. Two long bunny ears finished the outfit. Iria pulled him close and looked over his shoulder - giggling again when she saw the cottontail. Wufei blushed in shame. "You look great! Enjoy the party!" Iria said between giggles as she walked out the door.

The boys looked at each other uncertainly, and Duo shrugged. "I don't know about you guys, but I *am* hungry. Let's go see if there's any food." Duo's stomach growled its agreement, and the boys made their way to the ballroom. There were already at least 50 costumed people mingling inside, making them feel slightly more at ease. "I've never been to a party this fancy before," Duo said. "I can't even tell what the food is. I mean, look at those things!" He gestured at a tray of crab cakes. "Are those edible, Tro?"

"If it doesn't move, pick it up and spread it on a cracker," Trowa advised dryly. Duo sighed in resignation, missing Trowa's small grin. Suddenly, Heero stiffened next to him. Instincts screaming threat, the group of boys turned as one to assess the enemy.

Two slender girls dressed as businessmen, with wisps of blonde hair escaping their hats, stared at them in surprise. And promptly crossed their eyes and puckered their lips, squinching up their faces in disgust.

"Kisama!" Wufei closed the space between them in two short strides, the others at his heels. "I demand to know why you are making those horrible faces at us!"

"Tis the plague of the sour apple rings!" Dorothy said, giggling.

Relena opened her mouth to show them the gummi apple treat, before swallowing it. "Sucking leads to success," she said cheerfully with a wink. "Wanna try?"

"I'll do that and I'll be singing zippity-doo-dah the entire way," Trowa muttered. Eyebrows shot up and he blushed cutely under Quatre's scrutiny before slipping away.

Heero joined him on a walk around the ballroom and it's adjoining hallways, admiring the paintings and the statuary. They came across a particularly ... well endowed ... statue in an alcove in one of the hallways.

"Ein phallischer gott, " Trowa said reverently, stopping to stare at the piece of ... art. Heero walked on to look at a painting, promising himself he would track down and kill the sadist who invented high heels. Suddenly he heard a loud crack.

"Oops, I broke it!"

Heero whirled around and looked at Trowa in horror. "You broke it, how did you break it?" Heero demanded. He walked back to Trowa, who was blushing madly and holding a -

"Trowa!" Heero scolded.

"It just sorta snapped off ..." Trowa said in a small voice. Heero just looked horrified.

"Do something with that!" Heero demanded, "And we're going back *now* before someone sees us!" Trowa hurriedly stuffed the piece of statuary into his pocket as Heero rushed him back into the ballroom. Their faces were flushed as they rejoined the group, but no one seemed to notice as a giddy conversation continued. Trowa and Heero shared a quick look - apparently they had been gone a bit longer than they had realized. Quatre and Relena had more than a few drinks, by the sound of things.

"The knife and fork had a baby. And they named it spoon. And the spoon ran away with the plate and they had a baby. And it's name was saucer," Quatre explained with starry eyes and a big smile, accidentally sloshing some of the white wine from his glass in his enthusiasm.

"I thought *I* was supposed to be the dumb blonde," Relena said.

"Hey!" Quatre said. "Just cuz I'm short doesn't mean I'm *stupid.*"

"If the shoe fits, throw it out the window," Relena shot back. Trowa and Heero looked at each other and shrugged. Maybe you had to be blonde to understand.

"I'll throw you out the window!" Quatre said. He ran over to Relena and tried to pick her up. And tried again. And then stopped. With a frown and a stamp of his foot, he ordered the nearest Magnuacs to throw Relena out the window. And so they did.

Heero didn't stop smiling all night.

After the excitement died down, Wufei found a seat at one of the bars, intent on drinking away his shame at being dressed in a bunny outfit. He frowned - a *skimpy* bunny outfit. "At least real rabbits have fur to keep them warm," he mumbled miserably.

He heard a chuckle from beside him, and turned to see Sally in a cowboy hat and chaps. She gave him a slow grin and tipped her hat back on her head. "Many hottie squaws here," she said, eyeing Wufei appreciatively.

"I ain't no squaw!" Wufei growled, glaring at her and catching her hand in his when she made a surreptitious grab for his ass.

"Tha's right," a voice slurred on the other side of him, making him jump. Wufei turned to find Noin leering at him drunkenly. She was dressed in baggy clothing, with a cap worn backwards on her head. "Yo," she said cheerfully, flashing Wufei an unfamiliar sign with one hand.

"What in the world are *you* supposed to be?" Wufei sputtered. To say that rap music was uncommon on L5 would be a bit of an understatement.

Noticing their joined hands, Noin glared at Sally. "You best step back," she told Sally, fingering a large gold medallion on her chest. She took Wufei's other hand possessively. "Woman, I'm yo daddy!"

"Call me 'woman' one more time and you'll be singing an octave higher," Wufei threatened as he shrugged out of their grasps. He slid off the stool and hurriedly slipped through the crowd to escape.

"Hey, was that Wufei?" Duo asked Heero as he sipped at his drink.

"I don't know, baka. I was watching the strip poker game that Quatre's sisters are playing with the Magnuac." He pointed so Duo could see what he was talking about.

"Sweet Jesus!" Duo said.

"Jesus saves but does he invest wisely?" Iria quipped in passing. She was wearing - well, what Duo was really noticing what she wasn't wearing. He gaped.

Misunderstanding, Iria said "What? It's from a bumper sticker." She waived airily and ran off to join a crowd of Magnuac.

Duo laughed as Iria and Abdul led the Magnuacs and Quatre's sisters in an improvised can can dance. "I swear, those crazy arabians and what they do for fun ..."

Heero just nodded, his eyes on a leggy blonde that was strutting across the room. He cocked his head, spilling his drink a little. "What?" he asked absently. "They roll each other up in carpets?"

"Heero! Aren't you listening to me!?!? You never listen to me!" Duo accused.

"Hn," Heero muttered. "I do when you're not putting me to sleep." Duo made as if to thwap him, and Heero pretended to cower in fear. "I was distracted," he explained with a grin. "Look." He pointed. Duo looked. And a low wolf whistle wafted across the room.

Zechs heard the whistle and added some more swing to his hips as he walked by in a black playboy bunny outfit, long blonde hair billowing behind him. He brushed his bangs back with his hand, giving a sultry look to another bunny as they passed each other.

Wufei let his eyes wander up the shapely, fishnet-clad legs, feeling a fierce response from his body when he finally met Zech's seductive gaze. Stunned, he murmured "Oh, it's a rabbit." He turned, following the fine form with his eyes before shouting "Dinner! Get me my shot gun!"

Heero and Duo exchanged a knowing look as Wufei took off in pursuit of the cottontail swaying through the crowd. Heero quirked an eyebrow at Duo. "The hunt is on."

Heero and Duo lost track of Wufei as they got caught up in a round of toasts. Each of the Magnuacs had a toast to make, and by the time they were done *everyone* was more than a bit tipsy. Laughter and cheers rang through the room as people mingled.

"Where'd Fei-bunny go?" Duo wondered, standing on tiptoe to scan the room.

"Baka-neko," Heero mumbled as he nuzzled the nape of Duo's neck. "By now Wufei and Zech's are probably ..." He whispered the rest into Duo's ear, softly tracing its shell edge with his lips.

"Aah," Duo moaned.

In an upstairs study on a velvet settee, Wufei threw back his head and gave voice to the same sound of pleasure. "Gods," he gasped as he thrust his hips higher toward Zechs. "Harder!" A preventers-issued pager suddenly started beeping counterpart. Zech's swept it single-handed from the low table next to the settee onto the floor, where it continued to signal for attention. Zechs swore.

Wufei raggedly asked "Does Quatre know his thing is beeping?"

"I don't care," Zechs panted, closing his eyes as his silvery-blond hair swept his face.

"It might be important," Wufei argued. Sighing, Zechs stopped, sliding away from his lover and off the settee. He grabbed the pager and glared at it. He stepped out onto the balcony, not caring that he was naked, and scanned the room for Quatre. He spotted the boy talking with Duo and Heero, and threw the pager at Quatre, landing it smack in Quatre's glass with a splash.

"Hey, I was drinking that!" Quatre yelled. Zechs gave him a satisfied smirk and flipped him the bird. "Wufei loves you but everyone else thinks you're an asshole!" Quatre shouted. He and Duo cheered as Heero ran up the balcony stairs.

"Yeah, kick his ass Heero!" Duo cheered, his schoolgirl skirt flaring out from his fair legs as he jumped excitedly. Heero swung at Zechs with all of his might, nearly losing his balance as Zechs sidestepped and then picked him up with one neat move.

"Bonzai!!!" Heero cried as he was tossed over the balcony railing into the ballroom. The boys watched in fascination as Heero fell headfirst toward the punch bowl, going through the table with an explosion of punch. Heero lay prone under the table, covered in glass and punch, for a good minute before moaning "OOWW!!!"

Duo knelt next to Heero, avoiding the larger shards of glass. "Are you okay, Baby?"

"Aa," Heero mumbled, making Duo lean closer to catch his words. "Hard head." He looked into Duo's eyes and grinned. "Are you gonna kiss it and make it better?" Duo answered with a slow, seductive smile.

Une walked into the ballroom to see Duo kneeling in a pool of punch, giving Heero his own particular brand of comforting. She stared.

"Duo is with Heero," she said in surprise. "And what does Relena think about that?" she wondered aloud.

"The last I heard, she thought a threesome would be fun." Trowa looked at her solemnly, but his green eyes sparkled with merriment. Startled, Une stepped back.

"Barton! Where is Winner? He's our on-call agent and he's not answering our pages." She frowned, trying not to seem flustered by the unexpected events she had encountered so far.

Her question was answered when she heard Quatre Winner's light laughter. She turned her attention to its source, and made a small strangled sound of dismay. Rather than his Preventers uniform, her top agent was wearing a skirt! Her eyes wide with a sudden realization, Une swung her eyes back to Duo and Heero. A bit more slowly, as if she was wary of what she would see, she looked over at Trowa. Her gaze started at the black patent-leather shoes, lingered on the thigh-high hose, and slid up his legs to the short skirt and petticoat. When she met his eyes, Trowa winked and blew her a little kiss with his red-glossed lips.

Une slumped to the floor in the first faint of her life.

Quatre skipped over to Trowa, still laughing, only to find him staring bemusedly at a form by his feet. Quatre tried to focus his eyes on it. Those two little brown things on its head looked a bit like ears ... "Hey it's a puppy!" Quatre exclaimed happily. "And it looks ... dead?" His smile faltered and he looked to Trowa questioningly.

Trowa poked Une. Une groaned. "Nope, it's alive," he reported, giving Quatre a small smile.

"Yay!" Quatre cheered, and tried to pat the 'puppy' on the head. Une came to, and was understandably peeved to find the on-call preventer agent drunk, in a dress, in the middle of the wildest party she'd ever seen, and trying to pat her on the head. She snapped. Literally.

"It's so cute and fuzzy and ... IT BIT ME!!" Quatre wailed. Trowa pulled the boy into his arms soothingly, and proceeded to kiss it better with a commendable thoroughness. Kissing led to petting and groping. Quatre moaned "Oh, Trowa. Is there something in your pocket, or do you just like me?" Trowa blushed. He pulled the broken piece of statuary out of his pocket. Quatre's eyes lit up appreciatively.

Neither boy heard the thump of Une's body as she slumped to the floor again. As they would tell her later, it was one hell of a party.

...

Omake, anyone?

Abdul stands up and clears his throat, grabbing two Magnuac randomly and making them stand next to him. From nowhere an exotic melody starts to play. Abdul nods his head for a moment before he begins to sing:

"Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place "
Where the caravan camels roam
Where it's flat and immense
And the heat is intense
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home
When the wind's from the east
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night."

The other Magnuacs join in singing, and Iria begins to dance seductively:

"Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways."

Abdul leers at Iria, and she kisses him playfully on the cheek as the song continues.

"Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes."

Abdul nods as the melody tapers off, then lunges for Iria. He carries her offscene as the other Magnuac's sweatdrop.