Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ As A Girl ❯ As A Girl ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Okay, I don't own any of the characters. Reviews are always welcome; I think this is probably one of my better fics that I've written so enjoy.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Running over the lush green grasses of the dawning spring with nowhere to go and nowhere to be, a raven haired girl about five years old. In the winter she stood upon the edge of the cliff watching the snow fall from above. In the fall she rolled down the hills into the leaves below and during summer she gazed at the sparse clouds above her. But, spring was her favorite season. This was the only season that her uncle came to visit, but that didn't matter to her right now. For now at least, she was free. Free of the bindings of her room, the tortures of her life and being able to look towards a better future without fear.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you

I'll tell you that

But if I didn't say it

Well, I'd still have felt it

Where's the sense in that?

Noin smiled at the memory of her childhood. She was gazing out the office window listening to White Flag by Dido. She never enjoyed reminiscing about her childhood but that was one memory that she enjoyed replaying again and again. The sky was grey and the rain plummeted to the earth, pelting the window but she never noticed. To caught up in her thoughts to pay any attention to her surroundings. Zechs and Heero had entered the office that she shared with Zechs, arguing about something. By the time she had realized that they were talking to her they had been trying to get her attention for the past twenty minutes. She stole a glance at them and returned to staring out at the rain.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

Summer and the clouds were sparse, just as they have been for the past five years of her young life. The end of summer was approaching and her mother would want her home soon but she didn't care. Her uncle had stayed longer than just the spring like he usually does. This time he stayed through the summer and by the sound of it, he wouldn't be leaving for a while. The sun shone above her as she started slowly back to the place she was supposed to call home. Taking one last lasting look at the summer around her, imprinting it in her heart forever, turning from her sanctuary she left. Hoping that this was not the last time she would see the gorgeous plains of summer.

Well I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

The rain continued to beat against the window as she returned from her reverie. That was the last time she ever saw those plains from her childhood. That winter was the season that changed her life for eternity. No one knew of her past and if as long as it is up to her, no one ever will. Realizing that she had been ignoring Zechs and Heero for too long she turned to greet them and pushed her memories into the back of her mind to save them for another day or perhaps, but hopefully not, a painful retelling.

I know I left too much mess

And destruction to come back again

And I caused but nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "It's over"

Then I'm sure that that makes sense

It was fall and the bruises on her arms weren't getting fewer and her punishments weren't getting any less painful. She ran up to the top of the edge and looked down at the gorge and turned to face the leaf filled field. The soft crunching beneath her runners was comforting to her ears. She rolled down the hill on her side laughing until the reached the bottom and heard someone else's footstep across the plain approaching her. The lone figure was tall and lanky but still as formidable as ever. She trembled in fear as she got to her feet. Brushing the hair out of her face the figure took her hand and started to walk back to her house.

Well I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

It was all but pleasant to remember anything other than those select memories. Glancing at the untouched paperwork in front of her she picked up a pen and began to write, not even noticing the odd looks that the boys were giving her while they talked to a new intruder in the room. Her mind just couldn't stay focused on her work while she had been off in her own world for so long. It was too much; paperwork and meetings were becoming too much to handle. She stood abruptly and tore out of the room. Running down the hall she received several strange looks from co-workers and clients. Bolting out the front door she headed for the plains that she had visited so many years before completely unaware that there was someone following her.

And when we meet

As I'm sure we will

All that was then

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on

Winter and the snow was falling across the once green grasses of spring and summer. The rolling hills covered in a sheet as white as ghost. Unscathed from the world, it was peaceful in her mind. She never noticed the footprints behind her weren't hers. She dropped to her knees and turned her head towards the falling snowflakes, closing her eyes and taking in all her beautiful surroundings. A showdown loomed over her smiling face. A wicked grin crossed the face of the shadow. She climbed to her feet and turned around, not expecting anyone to be there. A hand came down and struck her hard in the face. She pleaded but he was relentless, her uncle, forever the terror in her life.

Well I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

She ran and kept running. Tears streamed down her face like waterfalls on a mountainside. She stumbled into the field and fell to her knees holding her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook violently with every sob she let out. Lightly, a hand appeared on her shoulder. She stepped forward and turned as she bolted upright. Realizing who it was she ran to him. His arms enveloped her shuddering form and for the first time in years she felt safe. She continued to cry as he held her stroking her hair.

Well I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

The young raven haired girl fell to the ground and started to sob silently. He stood over her and kicked her until she cried out in agony. Laughing, he left her there. A girl in the winter snow with crystalline tears streaming down her face forever scarred.

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

Her sobs slowly relented and the rain began to let up. She clung to him, not wanting him to let her go. He rested his head atop hers and closed his eyes. Neither noticed a shadow in the distance watching them. As silently as he had come he was gone only to appear some other more inappropriate time in her life.

She gazed up at Zechs with thanks evident in her dark eyes before returning her head to his shirt.

* * * * * * * * * *

A/N: Well, I had a lot of fun writing this even if it was a sad story. I'm not sure if I should do another one or not so let me know what you think.