Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Bajo Mi Máscara ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: jeangreymullinsjr 
Trowa reaches out... somewhat.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.01.2012 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 179 | Status: Work In Progress
Trowa reaches out... somewhat.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 04.01.2012 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 179 | Status: Work In Progress
Big thanks to all of you who have reviewed and/or added this to your fav’s list! I know this has been a long time coming and most of you have probably forgotten all about this story, but I hope you find this latest installment up to par. This story is far from over and I hope you’ll stick with me. Thanks.
Chapter 5:
I know it’s wrong.
You don’t have to tell me.
I should have followed him, called him, found him, stopped him; made him listen to me, believe me, trust me. I should have opened my mouth and explained to him that no matter what, he could count on me; that I’d always stand by him… but in the end, I hadn’t done any of those things; hadn’t lifted a finger. I’d let him leave; never submitting a single word of comfort.
My best friend; and I could offer him nothing but my silence and my indifference, letting him leave with a world of false impressions of me and never correcting him.
Why, you ask? Lots of reasons;… none of them good enough; none of them worth not easing his worries and fears with simply spoken truths.
All I can say in my behalf is that I was caught off-guard. I might have been capable of responding more favorably had I had time to think things through. With this dearest friend of mine, who’s always so well-spoken and eloquent, I experience moments of paranoia when thoughts of saying the wrong thing or having my meaning misinterpreted, flash through my first thoughts.
As evidence of my recent performance, even my most well-meaning of plans usually ends up backfiring, and as a cruel effect to my innocent cause, what I had tried so hard to avoid, happened.
As of today, it’s been almost two weeks since I let him walk away and I completely agree with you: I’ve had plenty of time to think, or dwell rather, in practice. But I am bound by my performance and at this point, I’m unsure of the steps I should take to correct this gravest of grievances.
I can’t sleep at the Station; I just can’t. However exhausted I may be, there can be no rest for me here. I pulled myself onto the top bunk around two this morning after having assisted in the expulsion of a civilian woman, two minors and a number of dogs from a small, two-bedroom townhome on the poorer side of town. Needless to say, the home had been on fire, and by the time we had been notified, there was no chance of it being salvaged. It took around five hours to completely plug the fire and for the family to get the medical attention they needed. I’m not quite sure where the dogs went…
I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. Because of him.
“Well, it’s about time you got a hold of me. We were expecting to hear from you weeks ago, after all those messages I left you…”
“Hello. How have you been?”
“How have I been? How have you been? I couldn’t be better these days… oh well, I take that back… I’ll be happy as a clown, pardon the pun Tro, as soon as I get everyone to agree to meet up. It’s been too long, dontcha’ think?”
“That’s what I was calling about-“
“-I figured as much. I told Heero it was only a matter of time, didn’t I? And here you are; so talk already!”
“What’s the breakdown?”
“Always you guys with your breakdowns… you and Heero BOTH, I swear! Lucky you called when you did; you’re almost too late seeing as how I scheduled it for next week; the weekend of the 18th-20th. Q called yesterday to confirm. I had figured on going on up to one of his family retreat cottages, but he said something about him losing access to the family estate… do you know anything about that? I suppose he could’ve just been playing nice… we did do some minor damage the last time we stayed at one of his places, remember that, Tro? I’m betting that Wufei still hasn’t fully recovered from that! HA! Instead I’ve booked a place in the mountains where no one will notice if a few trees or buildings go missing, ya know? So how’s bout’ it, Trowa? You game?”
“I’ll ask for the hours off at the station this afternoon.”
“Awesome! I’ll email you all of the finer details. I can’t speak for Heero, but I sure as hell have missed the lot of ya! I’ll catch ya later, Tro!” ::click::
Well, that had gone more smoothly than previously anticipated. Quatre no longer has access to his family’s holdings? I wonder what that’s about…
I put my bags of groceries on the counter. They’ll keep while I take a shower, won’t they? I really need one. It’s been almost two days since my last one, but you know how it is. I’ve gone for longer before.
I peeled off the grimy layers of cloth and threw them in the second hamper. I just can’t wash work clothes with my regular ones, or else everything will smell like smoke!
… I hope that didn’t sound as gay to you as it did to me.
I think at this point in my shower, just as I was really loosening up and getting some nice mental visuals to aid my hand, I would have preferred the shark to the real thing. The theme from JAWS starting playing from inside my hamper, and I knew I had left my phone in my pocket. There’s nothing like a phone call from your sister at the most inappropriate time to completely kill your mood.
Turning off the shower with a sigh, I dug the offending electronic out of the smelly depths of my hamper, compulsively swiped my thumb across the screen to push the oils into a clearer direction, and played the voicemail from my sister. They were always the same; commanding, pushy, somehow endearing (if you could get past the volume in which she spoke), and yet, while I truly do appreciate the efforts she makes to involve me in her life and involve herself in mine, I never know quite how to respond in a way that would make her understand, or that would appease her insatiable ideals. I knew that she wanted to clarify a few of the finer details about the latest tabloids… ugh, I really can’t stand myself sometimes. I’m a mute. I’m a wall. I’m heartless to those who care enough to try and scale me, who strain to listen for anything less selfish than my silence. You would think, knowing this, I’d move to make something change. I’m paralyzed. By what, I don’t know. … God, I really need to talk to him. Tell that to my mouth.
“You have reached Quatre Winner. I’m either with a client or away from my phone at the moment, but will be sure to return your call in the order it was received. Sorry for this inconvenience, and have a blessed day.” Beep.
Deep breath in. “I would like to talk to you… if you have time. Um, … bye.” Exhale in loud, dramatic, guilt-ridden, schmuck-like manner. Promptly slam face into wall. Um, bye.
Needless to say, I was completely surprised when my phone rang at exactly 11:38PM. Answering was only accomplished through the bass drum resonating from my chest… there was no way he couldn’t have heard that, right? “Hello Trowa.” Shit! I really picked up the phone?!?
“Hello.” One foot in front of the other.
“You wanted to speak with me?” He was fishing. I should probably respond.
“Yes.” Yup.
He sighed deeply and I got the impression from the way the sound carried he was stretching his neck the way he does sometimes… eyes tight, brows pursed, lips open as he breaths out, head tilting first left, then right; his bangs sliding with the rotation; the whole effort in vain because it’s never been able to relax him… “I apologize for the late hour. Should I call at a better time?” He was exhausted; in general, obviously, but with me? I would be.
“No.” Sure.
“Right. Well… I am glad you called. … Was there something I could help you with?”
“No.”… I should come up with something else… “I just wanted to talk.” Would I be considered a hypocrite at this point?
“I see.” He sighed again. “Forgive me, Trowa, but it’s been a long day and my telepathy doesn’t reach quite as far as it did this morning…” There was a slight smile in his words.
“You’re going next weekend?” SUCCESS! Not only a sentence, but a sentence in the form of a question!
“I know I was skeptical about the idea at first, but after some thought, … I think it will be good to see everyone again. What do you think?” There’s a slight nervousness lacing his fatigue.
I wish I could see him, but it’s amazing just hearing his voice again after so long, even as depleted and deflated as he sounds at the moment. I should talk to him about more important things…
“I’m requesting time off tomorrow for it… Quatre,…” I don’t know how to finish that.
“Hmmm?” I could imagine him rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“I want to talk to you…”
He sighed thrice. “I know. We should. Perhaps in person?”
“Yes.” A slight squeak from his chair meant he sat up straighter. “Alright, call me and let me know when?”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Trowa.”
Sleep still would not come to me that night.
Please let me know what you guys thought by reviewing! I can’t wait to get to the reunion
Converting /tmp/php2gxh0y to /dev/stdout
Chapter 5:
I know it’s wrong.
You don’t have to tell me.
I should have followed him, called him, found him, stopped him; made him listen to me, believe me, trust me. I should have opened my mouth and explained to him that no matter what, he could count on me; that I’d always stand by him… but in the end, I hadn’t done any of those things; hadn’t lifted a finger. I’d let him leave; never submitting a single word of comfort.
My best friend; and I could offer him nothing but my silence and my indifference, letting him leave with a world of false impressions of me and never correcting him.
Why, you ask? Lots of reasons;… none of them good enough; none of them worth not easing his worries and fears with simply spoken truths.
All I can say in my behalf is that I was caught off-guard. I might have been capable of responding more favorably had I had time to think things through. With this dearest friend of mine, who’s always so well-spoken and eloquent, I experience moments of paranoia when thoughts of saying the wrong thing or having my meaning misinterpreted, flash through my first thoughts.
As evidence of my recent performance, even my most well-meaning of plans usually ends up backfiring, and as a cruel effect to my innocent cause, what I had tried so hard to avoid, happened.
As of today, it’s been almost two weeks since I let him walk away and I completely agree with you: I’ve had plenty of time to think, or dwell rather, in practice. But I am bound by my performance and at this point, I’m unsure of the steps I should take to correct this gravest of grievances.
I can’t sleep at the Station; I just can’t. However exhausted I may be, there can be no rest for me here. I pulled myself onto the top bunk around two this morning after having assisted in the expulsion of a civilian woman, two minors and a number of dogs from a small, two-bedroom townhome on the poorer side of town. Needless to say, the home had been on fire, and by the time we had been notified, there was no chance of it being salvaged. It took around five hours to completely plug the fire and for the family to get the medical attention they needed. I’m not quite sure where the dogs went…
I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. Because of him.
“Well, it’s about time you got a hold of me. We were expecting to hear from you weeks ago, after all those messages I left you…”
“Hello. How have you been?”
“How have I been? How have you been? I couldn’t be better these days… oh well, I take that back… I’ll be happy as a clown, pardon the pun Tro, as soon as I get everyone to agree to meet up. It’s been too long, dontcha’ think?”
“That’s what I was calling about-“
“-I figured as much. I told Heero it was only a matter of time, didn’t I? And here you are; so talk already!”
“What’s the breakdown?”
“Always you guys with your breakdowns… you and Heero BOTH, I swear! Lucky you called when you did; you’re almost too late seeing as how I scheduled it for next week; the weekend of the 18th-20th. Q called yesterday to confirm. I had figured on going on up to one of his family retreat cottages, but he said something about him losing access to the family estate… do you know anything about that? I suppose he could’ve just been playing nice… we did do some minor damage the last time we stayed at one of his places, remember that, Tro? I’m betting that Wufei still hasn’t fully recovered from that! HA! Instead I’ve booked a place in the mountains where no one will notice if a few trees or buildings go missing, ya know? So how’s bout’ it, Trowa? You game?”
“I’ll ask for the hours off at the station this afternoon.”
“Awesome! I’ll email you all of the finer details. I can’t speak for Heero, but I sure as hell have missed the lot of ya! I’ll catch ya later, Tro!” ::click::
Well, that had gone more smoothly than previously anticipated. Quatre no longer has access to his family’s holdings? I wonder what that’s about…
I put my bags of groceries on the counter. They’ll keep while I take a shower, won’t they? I really need one. It’s been almost two days since my last one, but you know how it is. I’ve gone for longer before.
I peeled off the grimy layers of cloth and threw them in the second hamper. I just can’t wash work clothes with my regular ones, or else everything will smell like smoke!
… I hope that didn’t sound as gay to you as it did to me.
I think at this point in my shower, just as I was really loosening up and getting some nice mental visuals to aid my hand, I would have preferred the shark to the real thing. The theme from JAWS starting playing from inside my hamper, and I knew I had left my phone in my pocket. There’s nothing like a phone call from your sister at the most inappropriate time to completely kill your mood.
Turning off the shower with a sigh, I dug the offending electronic out of the smelly depths of my hamper, compulsively swiped my thumb across the screen to push the oils into a clearer direction, and played the voicemail from my sister. They were always the same; commanding, pushy, somehow endearing (if you could get past the volume in which she spoke), and yet, while I truly do appreciate the efforts she makes to involve me in her life and involve herself in mine, I never know quite how to respond in a way that would make her understand, or that would appease her insatiable ideals. I knew that she wanted to clarify a few of the finer details about the latest tabloids… ugh, I really can’t stand myself sometimes. I’m a mute. I’m a wall. I’m heartless to those who care enough to try and scale me, who strain to listen for anything less selfish than my silence. You would think, knowing this, I’d move to make something change. I’m paralyzed. By what, I don’t know. … God, I really need to talk to him. Tell that to my mouth.
“You have reached Quatre Winner. I’m either with a client or away from my phone at the moment, but will be sure to return your call in the order it was received. Sorry for this inconvenience, and have a blessed day.” Beep.
Deep breath in. “I would like to talk to you… if you have time. Um, … bye.” Exhale in loud, dramatic, guilt-ridden, schmuck-like manner. Promptly slam face into wall. Um, bye.
Needless to say, I was completely surprised when my phone rang at exactly 11:38PM. Answering was only accomplished through the bass drum resonating from my chest… there was no way he couldn’t have heard that, right? “Hello Trowa.” Shit! I really picked up the phone?!?
“Hello.” One foot in front of the other.
“You wanted to speak with me?” He was fishing. I should probably respond.
“Yes.” Yup.
He sighed deeply and I got the impression from the way the sound carried he was stretching his neck the way he does sometimes… eyes tight, brows pursed, lips open as he breaths out, head tilting first left, then right; his bangs sliding with the rotation; the whole effort in vain because it’s never been able to relax him… “I apologize for the late hour. Should I call at a better time?” He was exhausted; in general, obviously, but with me? I would be.
“No.” Sure.
“Right. Well… I am glad you called. … Was there something I could help you with?”
“No.”… I should come up with something else… “I just wanted to talk.” Would I be considered a hypocrite at this point?
“I see.” He sighed again. “Forgive me, Trowa, but it’s been a long day and my telepathy doesn’t reach quite as far as it did this morning…” There was a slight smile in his words.
“You’re going next weekend?” SUCCESS! Not only a sentence, but a sentence in the form of a question!
“I know I was skeptical about the idea at first, but after some thought, … I think it will be good to see everyone again. What do you think?” There’s a slight nervousness lacing his fatigue.
I wish I could see him, but it’s amazing just hearing his voice again after so long, even as depleted and deflated as he sounds at the moment. I should talk to him about more important things…
“I’m requesting time off tomorrow for it… Quatre,…” I don’t know how to finish that.
“Hmmm?” I could imagine him rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“I want to talk to you…”
He sighed thrice. “I know. We should. Perhaps in person?”
“Yes.” A slight squeak from his chair meant he sat up straighter. “Alright, call me and let me know when?”
“I will.”
“Goodnight, Trowa.”
Sleep still would not come to me that night.
Please let me know what you guys thought by reviewing! I can’t wait to get to the reunion
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