Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Bishie Hunters ❯ The mating of the Blue eyed Heero. Episode 1. ( Chapter 1 )

Bishie Hunters

Warnings: We do not own Gundam wing nor its characters though we wish we did and are not making money from this so please don't sue us. We're temporarily caught hoards of wild Heero, Duos, Trowas, Quatres, Wufeis, Zechs's, Triezes and Relenas to make this fic possible, we will release them later without harming them, urgh or at least all but the Relenas, we're insane so this is likely to reflect the insanity of our minds. We also do not own Steve Irwin but then who'd want to? XD. We do own Terri Irwin, so there! All psychological damage done by this fic is not our fault. This fic also has lime and lemon parts, it's all yaoi so if you don't like it don't read it. Please don't flame, please DO quote and comment! If you want to use this fic on a site tell us so we can brag and be happy. :P

Pairings: All. XD

Notes: This is just meant to be humorous and sick, love it.

3... 2... 1... ACTION! *Signals for camera to start rolling* Welcome to today's Bishie Hunters, with us, Steve and Terri Irwin... *pauses, hands on hips* don't you think that's a little corny? And why do you get to go first? *Looks threatening*

Crikey it seems we've already got a cranky bishie on the set, you see mate it's because I got the good looks *teeth sparkle a definite ping being heard as the pearly whites flash* and I got the cracky accent and the best stunts. Anyway today we're gonna look at the mating habits of the rare Heero Yuy and what a cracking beastie he is too *Steve's small tight shorts feel all that much tighter.*

*Looks around eagerly* A Heero!? Where! Heeeerroooo!! Come kiiiiillll meee!!! *Looks at camera conspiratorially* That's the mating call of another creature, a bishoujo, the lesser Relena (princessicus stupidicus) that usually brings the Heero running...

*Steve turns then jumps into a bush dragging Terri with him as a wild Heero appears. Then speaks with slightly hushed voice* Look at that, what a magnificent specimen, now Heeros are a very paranoid species, look at that weapon, they also have an affinity with shiny materials and explosions. Looking at his bright cobalt eyes and chocolate plumage just makes ya weak at the knees doesn't it folks. Heero's are often heard by their mating call "omae o korosu" at which point a long haired Duo will appear to its mate, let's wait and see, isn't it exciting! Crikey I'm almost kecking my pants in the thrill of it!

*Rolls eyes* Why can't you be as horny in bed as you are on these damn bishie hunts? The Heero is typically very violent, peaceful only around others of similar species, especially the Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. He tends to display a lot of animosity towards the greater Zechs and fork-browed Treize, however. Oh, look! A long hair Duo is approaching... let's watch!

*A fair eyebrow shoots up into the mop of hair on Steve's head.* Look at those stealthy movement, yes this Duo's on a mission, a mission to bang that Heero into a tree, watch it fella, easy, easy there, not too aggressive.. *The Heero turns gun pointed between Duo's eyebrows "Omae O korosu!" *Steve grins manically* "did ya hear that? That was the rare mating call, now who's gonna be banged ya little rascal!

*Groans softly* You, over the head, you perverted man... *watches Heero and Duo avidly* See, the Duo is unperturbed by the weapon, he's still approaching. There's the answer to the mating call now! *The Duo flips his braid and smiles cheekily* I think that we're about to be the first people to catch this moment on camera... the mating of the Heero and the long-haired Duo... *big wide eyes and drools making the mic spark*

*Steve's pants feel very tight by now and his voice is whispered and sultry* Yes, the Heero's taken the bait, look at the softening of that cobalt, taking the more feminine long haired Duo in his strong arms his plumage spiked and silky gleaming in the sun, he's gonna carry him home to his den, we'll have ta follow, quiet mind or they will become aggressive critters!

*Terri's eyes get reeeeally big and she sneaks out of the bush* Hurry now, or we'll lose them! *Tiptoes after escaping Heero and Duo and grins as they stop in front of a tree carved like Wing Zero* Look! There's the Heero's den, that hollowed out tree! It's believed that the carving of the tree is a god of potency and fertility, allowing the Heero and Duo to mate for... hours... on... end...

*Grins his teeth flashing with the ping sound again then tip toes after them* Yes indeed, look at how the Heero scoops up his prize and uses the braid to secure it in a submissive position, again the floor is littered with shiny metal *camera pans parts of gundams, guns and knifes* obviously sacrifices to the almighty tree God. I think they're about to...about to do it folks!

*The Heero picks up a knife from the ground and slowly cuts off the Duo's clothes* that knife looks like... hey! That's my knife! That horny little bugger stole my knife! *Camera zooms in on the knife, engraved with T.I.* Oh well... Look, the Heero is removing his clothes now that the Duo is naked... He's looking for something... *the Heero's eyes flash and he holds up a bottle of pink lotion* Hey!! That's mine, too!

*The other light eyebrow flows the way of the first. * That longhaired Duo is amazing, the creamy texture of its flesh, it's varied mating calls, yet Heeros and Duos are very resourceful critters, they even managed to out fox Terri! Look at that now, the Heero is sacrificing another shiny object to the tree God *camera zooms in to show a watch and swearing is heard* #@*~ that's my watch! Anyway… the Heero has stripped from its outer skin now, and it's about to give that Duo a good going ova! and well done to it too, I'd like to *moans softly then gulps* do that to that fine filly too!

*Swears and smacks Steve upside the head... no, not -that- head...* Steve! That's crude, they're just bishies! Anyway, now that the Heero (solderius perfectassius) has made the ritual offering to the tree god, the mating can commence. Wait... what's this? The Duo is freeing himself from his braid! He's untied himself, and is undoing the braid! Watch carefully how the Heero is reacting to this... this is going to be a wild, passionate, slow... tender... hot... *realizes what she's saying* mating. See how the Heero is drooling?

And who could blame him, with all that mane the longhaired Duo is a stunning example of natural beauty the Duo (Shinganamus deathscytheius) knows just how to play its lover like a violin. Look! Look! The Duo has assumed the position, he's got it coming that Heero wont wait long until it pounds him and what a beautiful union it'll be!

That's right, Steve, this'll be one to go in the record books! *The Heero begins preparing the long haired Duo with Terri's lotion* I'm never washing that bottle again... *mutters* Oh... look... here comes the big moment... the Heero is just about to enter the Duo in one... smooth... thrust... *pants and the Heero pushes into the Duo*

*Steve whimpers his tiny shorts nearly bursting* And now the claiming will begin, the Duo will make loud howls of pleasure as the Heero fills that small...tight...muscular...hot.. umm entrance that the Duo has unsheathed, of course this union will bring no young ones because the species are incompatible but it's still a thing of wonder *whips a tear away as the Heero thrusts into the grunting Duo.

*Terri watches avidly* It's too bad these two beautiful creatures can't produce offspring... imagine the babies these two could have! *Takes out personal camera and starts taking picture after picture while the Duo wraps his legs around the Heero and screams*

*Grins in a trademarked way* Yes that's passion at its top point, you can hear the pinnacle of the mating calls twining together in a harmony, there's no need for roses here folks. *He scrutinizes the two* I think the Heero about to do the final act, the clawing's more intense in the Duo's mane, he's gonna, he's gonna.. he has! *Steve groans relieved a soft sigh following as the Heero sates himself.*

*Terri fans self as the Duo yelps and comes onto the Heero's stomach, digging sharp talon-like fingernails into its back* Well, this was certainly a good mating ritual for the two species... And now, the two males curl up and cuddle. It seems as though, despite the Heero's gruff nature, it's a very caring lover for its chosen mate, and very affectionate, while the Duo seems perpetually bouncy... even now, he's laughing and fidgeting in the Heero's embrace.

*Steve smiles* I guess that would conclude the Heero - Duo mating section of the Heero breeding ground, but we know that the blue eyed Heero sometimes chooses a more...exotic mate than it's usual long haired lover, and we here intend to take you to see all aspects of the Heero's mating ritual and how it courts other species!

That's right, Steve! *Smiles charmingly at the camera* Next time on the Bishie Hunters, we go after the more elusive Trowa to watch it mate with the Heero!

*Steve nods looking rather sated himself his hands over his short shorts* "We'll catch you next time on Bishie hunters and until then, take care and make sure you don't get bitten by any wild rabid Trowas! *he winks and screen goes to credits*