Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Boy Meets Boy ❯ Boy Meets Bot ( One-Shot )

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: The weekend
Duo,
What happened, you are moving like an old man…what's wrong with you??
Aside, did you check out the new guy in programming?? He's working with the firewall-ing shit….you'd know more about it than me….being in computers.
Quat

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: The weekend
Quat-
I thought I told you I had to move out of my apartment….you gotta look away from the boyfriend from time to time. That's what I was doing over the weekend….moving. the desk was a little heavy I guess….my back is killing me.
What new guy? I haven't seen anyone new here.
Duo
God of back pain

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: your move
Duo
Please inform your blonde friend (aka my boyfriend) that you can manage your move by yourself. Also, that you are not that badly hurt. And that you would feel uncomfortable moving in with us.

Trowa
Although - if you'd asked, you could have moved in with friend of mine. He's just started working in your dept.

To: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
CC: desert_noble_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: re: your move
WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY EVERYONE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT?

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: timesheet_power@power-hungry.org.anon
Re: The new employee.
Duo,
Your presence is required in my office immediately. As in NOW Maxwell.
Une
This message is intended for the person identified in the address box. If you have received this message and is not addressed to you, please alert Miss Une immediately.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
CC: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: her worship
The most honorable Lady Une requires an audience with my personage.
If I never return, you will know what happened. She found out who sent her that virus. To think I died without finding out about the famous new guy.
Duo
God of foreboding

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: Une
What did she want?
Promise you that funeral you always wanted. And may your virusing soul rest in peace. Not that I didn't warn you, I told you that if you put on a program that kept telling her it was high would piss her off. You know how sensitive she is about her past.
-Quatre

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Re: Une.
I have met the famous New Guy. That's what she wanted me for. To show him his office. Like he couldn't find it himself. How old does she think he is? 5? You gotta admit though that the virus thing was funny for a while, when she couldn't figure it out. And she started smoking again….lol.
And his name is Heero. Heero Yuy.
Duo
God of programming

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Welcome…
Although I don't know what you're doing here. . Oh well, your business and all…sorry for the way Une acted, I'm not exactly her favourite person at the mom…a little incident with a virus, so she tends to embarrass me in front of the new staff, taking particular joy in making me look stupid in front of those I have to *work* with.
If you need anything, just give me a yell.
Duo
God of Embarrassment

To: perfect_solider_41@wing.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: The job
So, settling in OK? Well, you've met the brunette tornado and lived to tell the tale, and on your first day too….you must be OK. Actually, better than OK…most newbies get flustered by our dear Duo. Can't keep up with him. BTW, what brings you here?
And is that a bemused expression I see? What has gotten into you?
Trowa

To: silencer_21@heaveyarms.net
From: perfect_solider_41@wing.net
Re: Re: the job
Trowa-
Duo…is that his name? I missed it in the flurry of his explanations. He's certainly interesting, to say the least. But I could keep up with him…why wouldn't I be able to? Is he a genius or something? What brought me here was the need of a decent job, and they were offering. Why turn it down?
It may be a bemused expression, but that is none of your business. I just haven't met anyone quite like Duo before. How's Quatre?
Heero

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: thanks
For the welcome…I was wondering about the tension between you and…her. What was the virus?
Heero Yuy

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Re: the job
Quatre, as in Duo's best friend Quatre? (Just thought you should know.) He's fine. His sister is out of town for a while, so the kids are with us for a few days. Fortunately, Duo is babysitting them for a night while we have our second anniversary. Hard to believe we've been together for two whole years isn't it? Hey, you could help Duo. You are aware of what the kids are like, and I don't truly think Duo knows what he is getting himself in for. He might need a heads up.
And don't change the subject like that again.
Trowa

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: the virus
It's kinda lame really, but Une used to be a real pot-head or so the story goes, so I just wrote her a little program that constantly reminded her, by telling her the computer was high. So she started smoking cigarettes again, to calm herself down, because she's not the biggest computer brain that existed. She thought it was bad karma
I thought it was hilarious
Duo
Always of Help

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: My move
Chang,
It isn't too bad here you know Chang. You never know, you might even like it.
So. The set up here is: it's a computer gaming company. I'm in the security side of things, making sure hackers can't get in (the best way to protect against hackers is to hire one right? Not that they know that). Anyway, the first woman I met, my boss is a real prim and proper sort of lady. Anyway, she introed herself (Miss Une) and then she got a loud guy with long brown hair to show me to my desk. Like I couldn't find it for myself? Anyway, the guy talks a mile a minute - Duo, that's his name- he's in the graphics area somehow…I don't think his boss likes him very much…she was very short with him. As I understand it, he works on graphics and part of the game testing, he's got a friend in Advertising- Quatre something or other- and Quatre has a boyfriend somewhere else…design I think. That's where Trowa works anyway. You remember Trowa don't you? He says hello anyway. Then above Une, there's her boss, Treize and over in marketing, there's Quatre's friend Zechs, and his girlfriend Noin. I think that's it. It was kind of hard to separate the real info from the babble this guy -Duo- gives you. Talks a lot of shit you know.
And that's where I work now. Sounds great huh?
Yuy

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
Re: your move
Yuy
Sounds fine. I knew you'd find something else. Tell me about Duo. He sounds nice. Tell Trowa I said hello and Meiran said to say hello and how are you?
Chang

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: pink_way_of_life@hopeless.crushes.net
Re: HEERO HONEY!!
HEERO,
You forgot to tell me that you got a new job. It must have slipped your mind. Fortunately, my friend's ex's brother's boyfriend's cousin' best friend's dog walker works at Ovalteen Gaming Inc. So I have found you, my love. I can't believe you forgot. And our anniversary, I see that slipped your mind…must have been the job hunting, so I sent flowers on your behalf. Although, I must say I am glad, you won't spend so much time with that discriminatory Chinese boy. What was his name again? Wu-something. I never liked him very much. Now, honey about the wedding, do you want to wear a pink tux to go with my dress????
Let me know
Loving you always and forever.
Relena XXXXXXXX

To: pink_way_of_life@hopeless.crushes.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: LEAVE ME ALONE
Relena,
I do not know how many times I have told you this, but I will not marry you. I do not like you. At all. Ever. Tell whoever it is that you know here to leave me alone. You freak me out. In case you missed it the first time, I'm gay. That means that I am interested in guys and guys only
Besides, girls play too many mind games for me.
Heero Yuy
Head of computer security
Ovalteen Gaming Inc.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: this machine
Mr. Maxwell.
Did you by any chance infect this particular machine (which would be yours, and do not try to trick me, I know you are over there with Winner 'discussing the upcoming launch'). I know you put this stupid thing here and you think I'm far too stupid, that I think it's a net virus. You flatter yourself Maxwell
This is a brilliant program Duo. You've got to show me how you did it.
Yuy

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
CC: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: the devil
She's found me! Relena actually knows someone who works here…somehow. How the hell do I get her out of my life? What part of 'leave me alone I'm gay' is too complicated for her? I mean really, what is she? Retarded or something? How the hell do I get her to but out of my life? exactly?
Yours, desperate and stalked,
Heero

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Re: the devil
I have no idea. Maybe she doesn't believe you're gay? I thought she would, after she caught you and what was his name? Michael? I thought after that, for sure she would leave you alone…I mean what more proof did she need? You two were in the middle…that would have convinced anyone. Not Relena, obviously. Maybe you need some guy to hang off your arm constantly, not an occasional fling, as in a forever kind of thing. Or maybe you should just get a restraining order. I dunno…but my dear boyfriend knows someone in the legal area if you need some help. As if you'd ever ask.
No loss in offering though is there?
Trowa

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
Re: Re: the devil
Yuy
She is an unhonorable onna. What else can you do? you've tried everything and she hasn't figured it out.
Maybe it's time for a witness protection program.
Chang
PS before you ask, you had to witness her smile didn't you?

To: All
From: masked&proud@tallgeese.net
Re: the Work Network
Dear Employees,
As I am sure you all aware, we have a Local Area Network (LAN) network for the use of employees to converse with each on work related matters.
What we in Personnel Relations have noticed is a sever lack of work-related emails and instant messages travelling along the network. As you are all aware, this company has certain rules for use of the network. For those who seem to have forgotten what this entailed, since they signed the agreement at the start of this working year, attached is aforementioned rules and regulations, along with Acceptable Internet Use and Internet Etiquette. This is for the benefit of those who have either forgotten these rules, or who were not aware of what they were signing.
If there are any problems, please do not hesitate to contact either myself or Miss Noin.
Mr. Merquise.
Head of Personnel Relations.
Ovalteen Gamin Inc.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: {none}
What a load of bullshit.
But, in order to keep within the regulations, I believe that I need your professional opinion (as you have studied law) on our ability to borrow certain characters from certain Disney and Nickelodeon cartoons.
I also wish to discuss with you the upcoming launch - what ideas have your department come up with and are you ready for my help with it?
Duo
Master of the Dark Zone

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: green_men@keepers.org
Re: Hilde update.
Hey lil bro!
As per your request, here is the latest update on my charming wife. She feels like a whale and keeps trying to find something she can do. And exhausting herself. I don't know what I'm going to do with her. Maybe you can talk sense into her.
Please?
Solo

To: about_attitude_15@SDDI.org
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: you
Hil-babe
Please let my doting brother fuss over you. he cares, truly he does. That's why he fusses. I'm trying to hook up with the hottie in net security. I don't really want to be caught between you and your husband while you argue over some meaningless preggie thing.
Aside, would it kill just to sit and watch TV? You can borrow Existendz if you want.
He does it because he cares babe.
Duo
Master of the pickup line

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: about_attitude_15@SDDI.org
Re: me
Duo.
I know he asked you to talk to me. Do not try to fool me. your doting brother (aka my stupid husband) will not let me do jack. He tole me yesterday that I cannot have chocolate because the caffeine is bad for the baby. I tried to tall him that there wasn't enough caffeine to hurt an ant, but he insisted.
Existendz would be great, but you'll have to sneak in to me in the cover of Play School of Elmo's Adventures in Grouchland or something equally gay.I'm trying D - really, but I'm just a smidge frustrated with my beloved husband.
Hil
PS tell me about the hottie.

To: mailto:rhinos_ass@keepers.orggreen_men@keepers.org
From: siningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: your wife
Listen Sol,
I know you are just doin what you think is right, but give Hil a lil cred. She can look after herself you know. Just give her space and give her a mocha every now and then.
Behave yourself.
Duo
PS tell Hilde I'll tell her about the hottie when I drop off Elmo's Adventures in Grouchland.

To: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: Duo
Trowa,
Heero, he's nice guy right? I mean, I think Duo likes him…well enough to ask him out if he had the guts, and that would only happen if he were drunk and likely hood of them being drunk together is extremely unlikely. I mean, well, you know what Duo's like with that sort of stuff. Getting drunk I mean. At our break this morning Heero was all he could talk about, tacking his name on to every sentence 'Heero keeps changing the virus protection' and 'Heero kicked me off my computer today so he could fiddle with my networking-' I mean you get the idea right Trowa? I know you know him better than I do (not that it's hard - to know him better than I do) but I just want to make sure Duo won't get himself hurt again. (do you think that Heero would want to baby sit with Duo on Saturday night)
You saw how messy his last serious breakup was right? I don't want to have to pick up the pieces again. Just looking out for him you know?
Quatre
PS please could you pick up some Milo cereal on your way home? I've gotta stay back late and work with Duo on the next launch. Thanks hon.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Re: Duo
Quat
You know I love you dearly, but your over protective nature of a certain computer graphics artist is getting a bit out of hand. Is Heero a nice guy? Do you know any of my friends that are not nice guys? Seriously Quatre, you've got to relax. Duo's a big boy, he pays his own bills and everything. You don't have to be looking over his shoulder all the time to make sure he's OK He might finally have someone to take to those skate park things and to computer game openings and to see his little girls get their basketballing asses kicked each Saturday morning. (Yes)
I really think you are over-reacting just a smidge. Really little one. Have a little more faith eh?
Trowa
PS what do we need that for?

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: {none}
Duo -
Would you mind terribly if Trowa's friend helped you baby sit? I know you love kids and all, but these can be a handful and it would give you someone to keep you sane after the first hour or two. And he's pretty new to this area, so he would get to know the most sociable person I know. That might get him into the dating area, coz he's been out of it for while. Just for fun eh?
Quatre

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Saturday night
Q-man,
You know I'd love to have some company! I'm sure you'll warn him about me….c-ya Sat!

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Saturday
Heero,
Would you mind helping out Duo with the kids this weekend? He's acknowledged that he may need some help, and as you know that is the first step to dealing with the problem, besides it means that Relena can't force you into another date, because you'll already be busy.
And I'm sure that if she rocks up to our place you and Duo will be able to think of something to get rid of her. Duo's very creative that way.
Trowa

To: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: Re: Saturday
I'll see you Saturday. I'd much rather spend time with this guy than Relena. He looks like fun. Well, at least there would be no awkward silences with him around. He doesn't strike me as the type to keep quiet for a prolonged period of time.
Thanks
Heero.

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Re: Re: Saturday
You have no idea

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: downstairs
Dude
Are you ok? Who was that chick? You should tell her that she has an awful singing voice and should not attempt singing even if the mere survival of the human race depends on it. Seriously. Maybe I should actually be asking her if she's ok…. I've seen anyone move so fast…what was that? Jujitsu?
Oh well, doesn't look like it was too much of a loss does it?
Duo
Keeper of the Milo.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@shenlong.net
Re: what happened…
downstairs? We could hear the wailing all the way up here? was someone giving birth or something???

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningammi_23@deathscythe.net
Re: you'll never….
Believe it. That was Yuy's ex…I think. She seemed to think that they were together, but he seemed to have different ideas. He kept trying to remind her of Michael…I have no idea, but then he pulled some quick moves on her and left for the medics. It was actually pretty funny. I had to pull him off her. Guess he doesn't like her very much. Anyway, I think I should take him to our favourite coffeehouse to shake the stress off. Pretty cute waiters there too eh?
Duo
King of Stress Relief.

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: she devil
Chang -
Do you know what she *did*? She came to the office, stood in the foyer and wailed (for lack of a better term) her feelings of undying love (which sounded like a Spice Girls' song). I could not get her to leave, and as I no longer am allowed to carry a gun, I tried to shut her up the only way I know how, by breaking her windpipe. Duo stopped me before I could, you know, smash her throat in. Probably a good thing too - I don't think the courts will buy 'I didn't know what I was doing' again. I am getting really desperate here Chang. I have my back against the wall.
Yuy.

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
Re: Re: she devil
I really think it's about time for witness protection. I'm sure she smiled at you again.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: Re: downstairs
Duo, right? (I'm no good with names esp. those of smart asses that make more work for me)
Thanks…I might have done something her brother might have regretted, like killed her. I don't know how to explain her to you. I don't like her, but she seems to think that we are together and are getting married. Delusional - that's what the shrinks call her. Do you want to grab a coffee during our break in gratitude and call it even?
Heero Yuy
Head of Computer Security.

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: coffee
Sure. When has the God of Death refused coffee? I know this great place btw.
Duo
Mocha Maker Extordinare.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: our break
Just to let you know Q-man, I'm having coffee with Heero during our break. Maybe to discuss my brother organizing a restraining order for him. Maybe.
Duo
Living the Summer of the Tiger

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: spice_up_your_life@aphid.fears.anon
Re: the little incident
Mr. Yuy.
I hope that you do not anticipate a repeat performance from your girlfriend downstairs. It was not within the image which Ovalteen Gaming wishes to project. Please ask her to reframe from serenading you in the future. Keep that sort of thing for behind closed doors.
Mr. Treize Krushranda
The Boss
If this email was not intended for you, please alert someone who cares. Do not hesitate to pass it on to whomever it is intended for. If you can be bothered. On a good day. Maybe.

To: perfect_solider_41@wing.net
From: masked&proud@tallgeese.net
Re: My sister
Mr. Yuy (can I call you Heero?)
I'm sorry for my sister's indecent serenade for you. I'll try and restrain her from now on, she is no longer allowed on the premises. Maybe she can track you through your email address. I'd suggest a change. Or a restraining order. I honestly thought that if you came to work for me she wouldn't set foot here, you know how much she hates me. Like I said, I'm sorry.
An extremely apologetic,
Milliardo Peacecraft.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Re: the coffee.
Look - I'm sorry for Relena reacting that way. I don't know what to say. She's just god…an idiot. Just ask Trowa. I don't know what to do.
Heero
PS do you want to try having a meal somewhere she can't find us?

To: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Re: the coffee
Well, a mate of mine has a place that barely anyone knows about. Do you want to try there?

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: You'll never…
believe what happened. Heero and I were enjoying a nice coffee (which was his thanks to me for the foyer incident) and we were just talking quietly when this woman walks in (from the foyer) and walks over to us and dumps my milkshake on my head. And it was blue heaven too.
Duo
King of the Sticky Feeling.

To: I_love_paperclips@violent.rage
From: perfect_soldier_41@wing.net
Noin-
Maybe you can get your husband to listen. I realize that he cannot control his sister. If he could just clear the air with He Who Dwells Upstairs, then I'd be happy. Besides, Relena may not be such a problem soon. (No, I'm not going to kill her). No matter how many times I've explained to him that I understand, he doesn't seem to get it, although I think he had a point in his last email, so I'm changing my address. Any ideas?
Heero

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: timesheet_power@power.hungry.org.anon
Re: your shirt
Mr. Maxwell,
There have been several complaints about the state of your sleeves. Namely that you keep rolling them up. Our beloved leader, Mr. Treize believes that by rolling them up you are showing that you are showing that you are being casual at work and have a lack of pride for the company that employs you. He also feels that were you to quit this marvelous job, you would, with your nasty habit, be unable to acquire employment elsewhere. Please remedy this situation.
Lady Une
This message is intended for the person identified in the address box. If you have received this message and is not addressed to you, please alert Miss Une immediately.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Une
Quatre
Do you personally have a problem with my shirtsleeves being rolled up? I do have hard work to do here you know. Are you unable to do your work due to the flesh of my arm being displayed? Can you not focus on your task because my naked forearm distracts you? Please let me know…I'm getting sick of all the s*%t about my shirtsleeves! Seriously if I want to roll them up, isn't that my choice?? I mean, get a life! It's not like I'm going to get the whole office to form a rebellion by making them all roll their sleeves up is it??? Please let me know if my unprotected arm is leading you to rebel against the powers that be.
Duo
Director of the Rebellion

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: your sleeves
Duo
I have to admit, due to your bare flesh, I had thought about a revolution you know. (jking) Just settle down Duo, she can't do anything and you know it. We talked about this the last time she threatened to 'terminate your employment' remember? Try not to make it so obvious please! She might not have such a thing against you if it weren't so obvious!

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
CC: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: I_love_paperclips@violent.rage
Re: Yuy's address
Guys, in order to try and deter Mil's sister and her Heero trackers, we're going to change his address and his place of work and try and make him untraceable. So much so that even he and Chang won't be able to find him. Any email address ideas?
Thanks guys,
Noin

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Duo
Little One,
Noin and Milliardo have come up with a great idea to throw Milliardo's sister off of Heero's trail, but he needs a new email address and someplace to stay. Can he have the spare room? Just for a few days?
Trowa

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: Heero
Hey D
There's a great idea floating around to get that girl out of Heero's hair. What we need though are some creative email addresses for him, that do not reveal anything about him and cannot be linked to him in anyway. So I'm asking you O Creative Genius to help me help Trowa help Noin help Heero. Please?
Quatre
PS Heero's going to stay with us until Noin finds him another place under another name that he can't be tracked to. If you ask me a restraining order would be easier, but Trowa says that she would find a way around it.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Heero
Dude,
What are you one about? There's a spare at my place if he needs a place to crash. No offense but your place is no place to crash for someone wanting any sleep. You're way too loud Q-man. Good email addys hey? I dunno the guy too well, so I don't know how much help I'll be…but that's the point right? I've attached a couple that sprang to mind, see how you like them.
Duo
King of Accommodation
/Attachment: emails4Heero.doc/

To: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: Heero
Trowa,
I talked to Duo, he says he doesn't mind having Heero in the spare room. Says we're too loud! Anyway, that may be better, after all Milliardo's sister only knows Duo as far as 'that guy who pulled Heero off me' so she wouldn't think that he (Heero) would go and stay with him. or where to find Duo. The attachment is from Duo
/Attachment: emails4Heero.doc/

To: I_love_papercilps@violent.rage
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Heero
Noin -
I'm forwarding this attachment from my boyfriend from his best friend, who also offered Heero use of his spare room while you find him a new place to stay. (In case you know him, he's Duo Maxwell down in Computer Graphics and often helps Quatre Winner (my boyfriend) with the launches) Here's hoping eh?
Trowa
/Attachment: emails4Heero.doc/

To: green_men@keepers.org
CC: about_attitude_15@SDDI.org
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: my place
Guys -
You know I love you both, but I'm going to have a work mate staying with me while he finds a new place to live and shakes off the dregs of an ex…or something like that…. Anyway, the point is that I would appreciate it if you would ring before you drop round, to give me a chance to brief Heero - that's the guy- about you both. You can be quite a shock on people you know, when you are together.
Thanks guys
Love ya
Duo
Keeper of the Sleeves Lecture

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: timesheet_power@power.hungry.org.anon
Re: your shirt
Again Mr. Maxwell I find myself reminding you not to roll up your sleeves. You do realize that no one else rolls up their shirt sleeves as consistently as you do. Not one other employee rolls his or her shirt sleeves up the way you do. If it is a little hot, then it is acceptable to pull them back just a little, but definitely not all the way to your elbows Mr. Maxwell, and I regret that I must keep asking you not to do this.
And do you think that your shoes could see the shoe polish? They are beginning to loose their colour Mr. Maxwell.
Lady Une
This message is intended for the person identified in the address box. If you have received this message and is not addressed to you, please alert Miss Une immediately.

To: timesheet_power@poower.hungry.org.anon
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: my shirt
Lady Une,
Please forgive my shirtsleeves, I did not realize that my naked flesh was such a distraction to those around me. I am so awfully sorry that I was so ignorant of Master Treize's comments on the subject. But you see, before I came to work, my dear old mother asked me to help her out of bed, and I found that my sleeves were inhibiting me. So, to be a help to my dear mother, with her arthritis and her failing eyesight, I pulled my sleeves up so that my dear old mother could be up to see me off to work, she doesn't see me very often as she's asleep by the time I get home from work, and I leave before she gets up. It must have purely slipped my mind to unroll my sleeves after helping my poor old crippled mother. It is honestly not in disrespect to you, O Masterful Lady Une or His Worship Treize. It will not happen again, I promise!
Yours humbly,
Duo
Computer Graphics.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: about_attitude_15@SDDI.org
Re: you
D -
Don't tell me you're hooking up with the guy from computer security?

To: about_attitude_15@SDDI.org
From: shiningami_23@deatscythe.net
Re: me
Yes, and his name is Heero if you don't mind.
I really like him Hilde…really really like him. Even when he looks like he's going to kill his ex for serenading him in our work foyer. I mean, it's not like I've had much to do with him - apart from rescuing his ex from him (or was it the other way around??) but he's a friend of Trowa's, and from what I understand, it takes a lot of work to be Trowa's friend, he's very quiet.
Sorry, I'm talking shit…but I've never wanted to know anyone more in my life.
Duo
God of Sappy Emails.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: thanks
For the suggestion Duo. A bit weird, but she won't be able to track that, it sounds nothing like me. could you arrange a restraining order with your brother?
Heero

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: hey
No worries dude. All in a day's work, ya know? I'll give my dear brother a call. I'm pretty sure I can arrange it.
Duo
The Great Problem Solver

To: green_men@keepers.org
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: your job
Sol -
You do still do law don't you? Well, could you do a little bro a favour? I was wondering if you could organize a restraining order for a work mate.
Duo
Wishing he did law

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: green_men@keepers.net
Re: Re: your job
Sure. Is tomorrow (lunch) good for you? Is it The Hottie?

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: my brother
Solo says that he can meet us tomorrow for lunch. Is that OK?
Duo
Saver of Lives

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: Re: my brother
Sure. That's fine. Thanks Duo.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: {none}
Guess what Q man? Heero an' me are going to meet my doting brother to discuss him getting a restraining order to keep Relena away from him.
Duo
The wreck of nerves
PS do I own anything that looks busynessy? I need your help here. I have to have some way of proving that one of us Maxwells ain't messy.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: your family
Why bother? You're both just as bad as each other.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Re: your family
Thanks Quatre. It's nice to know that my best friend thinks I come from a family of loons.

To: desert_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: our *big* lunch
The Bitch showed up and dumped my Chou Mein chicken all over me. I can't believe it! Is she stalking him or something??? Solo couldn't stop laughing, swearing he'd go back to tell Hilde all about it!! ARGHHH!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!!????
A very pissed off
Duo

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: lunch
Duo -
You do not know how sorry I am about lunch today. I had no idea she would turn up there. I mean, I though for sure that she wouldn't, it's not exactly well-known is it?
Sorry again,
Heero
PS do you want to try again another time?

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: cool_old_guy@hawaiian.socks.org
Re: lunch today
Jesus Duo. What is it with you and turbulent relationships? This one has stalker ex…what next? A closet cannibal? I gotta say that the highlight of my week is seeing just who you hook up with next.
Jesus kid. Try and pick a good one next eh?
Howard.
PS it was nice to see your brother today too.

To: cool_old_guy@hawaiian.sock.org
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Re: lunch today
Glad to be of service old guy. Would you believe that's the third time she's attacked me? the first was in the lobby here, then while Heero and I were having coffee. And stop laughing dammit!! It's not that funny. I really want to hook up with this guy, and he is a good one. He just can't shake of that girl.
Duo
Mountain of Embarrassment
PS Glad you enjoyed seeing my charming brother, who has not stopped teasing me about Heero.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: cool_old_guy@hawaiian.sock.org
Re: you and that boy
I was jus teasin you kid…geez! You gotta lighten up. I could see he's a good one. I mean, he told that girl where to go didn't he? Defended your honour, helped you clean up. A perfect gentleman, or so it seems.
Howard.
PS good luck kid - it's about time your luck turned around.

To: I_love_paperclips@violent.rage
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: now what?
She still knows where I work doesn't she? I mean, what can I do now?
Heero

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: I_love_paperclips@violent.rage
Re: The plan
Heero -
The plan is to move you to a new job, a new place to live, under a new name. So that she can't track you to your new place right?
So what we need is to replace you (she probably shouldn't need to know this) and then move you into your new job. So, do you know anyone who'd be good enough to replace you?
Noin.
Don't worry, I've got the rest of it figured out.

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: my job
Chang -
In order to protect myself from she who must not be named, I need someone else to fill in my position. Interested?
Yuy
btw the new email address is part of it.

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
Re: your job
Yuy
I will undertake your job on the condition that you tell me what's going on. I realize it has to do with the pink-obsessed neo-Nazi delusional she-devil, but what is the rest of the plan? Surely that brother of hers has come up with some way to rid her of her infatuation towards you, he has got half a brain doesn't he?
Chang

To: noble_dragon_6@shenlong.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: the Neo-Nazi obsessive she-devil
This is one mission I'm going in without the complete plan.
In pub talk: I have no f*&king idea Chang, not anything resembling an idea.
Yuy

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: I_love_papeclips@violent.rage
Re: the plan
I've gotten you a job with Martian Programming. Assuming you got someone to take over your pos, the Martians can't wait until you get there. you've got new place to stay right? Rel hates Mil so much that she won't bother him for your whereabouts thank god. I think you'll be home free.

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: your offer
Is your offer of a place to stay still valid?
Heero

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
Re: Re: your offer
Does an one-legged duck swim in a circle? Of course it is you idiot.
Few rules: * my place is not messy. It's organized chaos.
There are others….when I think of them. Move on in whenever.
Duo
God of Rules

To: shingami_23@deathscythe.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: my accommodation
Thanks Duo. No way known anyone can find me at your place. Well…not the Neo-Nazi she-devil anyway.
I'll cook dinner in gratitude.
Heero

To: noble_prince_5@sandrock.net
From: shiningami_23@deathsycthe.net
Re: {none}
You know Quatre, after your 1 year anniversary I swore you were mad, I mean, who would want to spend that long with one person? But now I think I see your reasoning. I wouldn't mind having Heero around for a year or two. I mean he's bloody hot ain't he?
Duo
God of Disbelief

To: shiningami_23@deathscythe.net
From: noble_prince_5@sandrock.net
Re: {none}
God. You MUST have it bad if you want Heero to hang around for a year or two. I haven't even seen you eat the same thing for lunch two days in succession. He's *gotta* be having a good influence on you. I had been wondering where you had disappeared off to at our breaks.

To: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: Duo
Trowa -
You know, when you first told me about Duo, I must admit I thought he sounded like an idiot, but after spending a lot of time with him, I can see what you were talking about. I'm looking forward to moving into his place.
Heero

To: extreme_attitude@lint.com
From: silencer_21@heavyarms.net
Re: Re: Duo
Good luck Heero. With him, you're going to need it.

To: I_love_paperclips@violent.rage
From: extreme_attitude@lint.com
Re: the job
Thanks Noin. This new job is great. Something a little different, definitely keeps me on my toes eh?

To: masked&proud@tallgeese.net
From: pink_way_of_life@hopeless.crushes.net
Re: WHERE'S MY HEERO HONEY-BUNNY???
MILLARDO where is Heero Yuy? I turned up to meet him TODAY only to find that he NO LONGER works for you. where has he GONE?
Your FAVOURITE sister
RELENA

To: pink_way_of_life@hopeless.crushes.net
From: masked&proud@tallgeese.net
Re: Mr. Heero Yuy
Unfortunately Miss Peacecraft, we had to let Mr. Yuy go. We have no idea where he has gone or what he is doing with himself now. I am so very sorry to have to be the one to inform you of this. Maybe you should try Microsoft?
Millardo Peacecraft.
Personnel Relations
Ovalteen Gaming Inc.