Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Changes aren't Always for the Better ❯ Battle of the Sexes ( Chapter 5 )

Title: Changes aren't Always for the Better

Chapter Title: The Battle of the Sexes

Author: Xel-chan

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Lots of language. References to sex. 2+1, R+1, R-2(and vice versa) meaning Relena hates Duo and Vice versa Heero just has no clue which way the swing swings.

Authors Notes: The votes have come in. Animerica's favorite couple. Second place was Heero and Duo! (Heero and Relena got 7th and Trowa and Quatre got 8th.) Duo is the favorite male character. Duo Rules Supreme!!!! Yay!! Umm, on with the story. C&C Appreciated! Enjoy the story! And I want to thank people for their reviews!

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Relena's Diary

I'm planning a ball of some sorts. A place where Heero can finally admit his feelings for me. He'll tell that gay pilot that he loves me forever. He'll pull me onto his white horse. And together we'll ride into the sunset! Well it'll be something like that.

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Heero's P.O.V.

Ah, peace. Those rare moments when you can hear the birds singing their early morning song. When you can smell the fresh smells of morning. Those rare moments when Duo's mouth wasn't running a mile a minute. Unfortunately, this didn't stop Duo from snoring, but, what're ya gonna do? I was researching women behavioral habits when suddenly the snoring stopped. I banged my head onto the keyboard, Duo the horrible hurricane was up. Suddenly I heard running before my room door burst wide open.

"Knocking is a lost art I see." I remarked sarcastically.

"Heeeeerrrrrrooooo," Jesus, I thought Relena had been bad; "I'm bleeding to death!" I turned around at this exclamation. Studying her for a moment or two, I turned back to my computer.

"Negative, the amount of blood isn't conducive to a death due to lack of fluids."

"Umm, English please?"

"You are not bleeding to death. Not at this moment anyway. However, if you persist in bothering me, I will be forced to kill you. Then you won't be dying, you'll be dead."

"So, you don't care that I could be dying?" Turning around once again, I looked at her huge amethyst eyes overflowing with tears, the pouty mouth that had begun to quiver, the nose that was dripping snot that was highly unladylike, I gave her my answer.

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Duo's Journal

That bastard! Saying he didn't care if I was dying. Oh that just makes me soooo mad. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if someone did that to him! He's probably planning to go to Relena's party simply so he can feel free to kiss her ass. I saw the invite. I even got one myself. He'd probably take her right in the middle of the ballroom. I bet he doesn't even know what sex is! He's probably secretly a computer bent on taking over the world. If you even mention the word to him, he'll probably say something like "Does not compute" and fall into convulsions. Anyway, back to the point at hand, Heero Yuy is a bastard! Revenge is at hand!

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Heero's P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning with a sense that something bad was about to happen. An OZ attack? No, they had been relatively quiet recently. Then what was it? Getting out of bed cautiously, I checked for my gun. When I saw it was there, I breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing could be done by just sitting here, might as well take a shower and face them clean rather than dirty. Suddenly really bad singing slithered into my ears. It could only be Duo. There should be a most wanted poster out for her.

I suddenly thought back to before the gender switch, how Duo used to be before. How he used to give fake smiles, and try to make us believe that everything was okay. But you could see the sadness in his eyes. I remember how he'd constantly look at me with a longing in his eye. I wonder if something had been wrong with him then. I remember the look of jealousy at the mere mention of Relena's name. Nowadays if her look her straight in the eye, she'll probably bite you. They give the same warning with gorillas. But she seems more at peace. I smiled softly to myself. The smiles seemed more genuine. It was funny how quickly they'd adjusted to Duo being female. Things had almost flowed like they were supposed to. I listened as she warbled off another verse of her song. I then promptly put the pillow over my ears.

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Duo's P.O.V.

I sung another verse of Britney Spears' "You Drive Me Crazy". For those who didn't know, I was purposely singing badly. Sighing as the hot water ran down me, I clucked my tongue softly. Poor Heero, he was going to learn what happened when you messed with me. I smiled evilly, shutting the water off. Not bothering to dry off, I stepped out of the shower. It was time to put my plan into action. I picked up a blue bottle containing shampoo that I knew was Heero's. Walking back over to my clothes, I slipped a package out of the pocket of my black terry-cloth robe. I carefully poured the contents into the shampoo, and then I replaced the shampoo bottle. Quickly I dressed and cleaned up the evidence. Opening the door I saw Heero standing on the other side glaring at me.

"The bathrooms all yours" I said cheerfully.

"I just wanted you to stop the singing" He replied still glaring. I walked off singing loudly once again.

"Girls who are in love, Give their love to you. You, who shine so bright my daaaarrrling!"(1) I could swear I saw a pained look on Heero's face. At least he wouldn't be looking pained soon. I giggled softly to myself.

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5 minutes later

"DUO!" That yell came for me while I was watching "The Looney Tunes". Why are people so rude these days? Quatre turned toward the stairs to see Heero running downstairs, a gun in his hand and a towel around his waist.

"Oh geez Hee-chan is that a pencil in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" I said just before a shot whizzed by my head. "Definitely not the latter."

"Omae O Koruso" (2) Heero said firing again.

"Hey!" I exclaimed "You almost hit me!"

"Not acceptable" He seethed before raising the gun again. "You are still alive. Omae O Koruso Duo"

"Just because your hair is the same color as your tank top is no fault of mine." I said in an attempt to reason right before another bullet came at me.

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Heero's Journal

Omae O Koruso Duo. I'm going to get her by that braid, tie it around her neck, and watch as the life drains out of her slowly. Or perhaps I'll cut her into little pieces and feed her to the dog next door, oh wait, that's a woman. At least I think it's a woman. Retribution is at hand! Duo must pay for her crimes! And I know just the thing to do.

PS: Duo had better be happy that the dye was temporary. My hair is still green. I hate her.

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Duo's P.O.V.

I awoke to the sound of birds singing. Oh what sweet rejoice, a new day. Stretching as I walked over to my drawers, I opened them to find pink. I stared at it strangely. Slowly my hand reached out to pick up a garment. It was one of my old shirts. That bastard!!! He'd dyed my clothes. Oh that little….

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Wufei's P.O.V.

Wandering downstairs, I saw Quatre in the living room drinking tea. Suddenly it dawned on me; I had not heard that idiot for a few hours.

"Where is Maxwell?" I asked Quatre briskly.

Quatre looked up startled. "Duo? She went shopping a few hours ago. Now that you mention it, she should be home by now."

Just as Quatre spoke those words, I heard Heero heading down the steps. Turning around to ask him if he knew why Maxwell was shopping, I was astonished to see him grinning. Just then, a low hum and a key in the lock signified Maxwell had returned. Heero had wandered up near me.

She walked in happily humming off-key. But what she was humming wasn't the focus of my attention right now. I was rather focused on what she was wearing. The dress was black and it looked short enough that it seemed like it barely concealed everything. The bodice was tight, leaving the rest to flounce around her hips. Her hair was in its customary braid with a black ribbon braided through it. The bodice wasn't cut as low as it could've been but, it was low enough to show a bit of cleavage. The long sleeves were loose and pretty much transparent.

"You walked out in public with that on?" Heero asked, his voice barely even a squeak beside me.

"Of course Hee-chan!" Duo exclaimed. "Oh, and Wufei, your nose is bleeding, yours too Hee-chan" Beside me, Heero suddenly passed out. "I guess that nosebleed was conducive to passing out from lack of blood." Duo said smirking.

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Heero's Journal

I keep thinking of that dress Duo was wearing. I'm going to have a hard time sleeping tonight, literally.

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Wufei's Journal

Injustice, Woman prancing around in short skirts. Injustice! Injustice all of it!

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Duo's Journal

It was so funny watching Heero pass out. At least his hair is back to its normal color. You know, it was worth it wearing that dress just to see the looks on their faces. I'll be having sweet dreams tonight!

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Quatre's Journal

What was Duo thinking? She could have caught a cold wearing a dress that short!

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Relena's Diary

The plan is all ready! Get ready for the biggest embarrassment of your life Duo Maxwell! Relena is taking over. Heero will have no room to idiotic gay boys in his heart. He'll have me of course! Good Night my one true love.

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(1)-This is the song from an anime called Slayers. I love this song and that episode is funnier.

(2)- I will kill you (This is loosely translated, but it means something like that)

Next time: A secret of Relena's is revealed! Will Heero take her off on his white horse? (There are so many dirty comments that could go with that, I won't even list them) Watch I mean read, as Relena is checked into reality hotel!

1x2 4EVER!!!!!! Heero and Duo topped Heero and Relena as a couple. My friend remarked that Heero was a player. Well whatever. I just feel that this information is crucial to be received be 1x2 fans everywhere!! For all of you hypocrites, face it, resistance is futile, you will succumb to the dark side. Or at least just open your mind to it.

Peace!

Xel-chan