Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Changes aren't Always for the Better ❯ Never Let Go ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Changes aren't always for the Better

Chapter Title: Never Let Go

Author: Xel-chan

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: 2+1, 1+2 (yes folks, he finally made up his mind. Must've been the wig that did it.) A lot of sap and sweetness

Author's note: I almost cried. Almost… Anyway, this is that last chapter. But there will be a sequel. Any suggestions and C&C are always welcome. I'm proud of the way this story ended. Just enough to make you read the sequel. Anyway review!!! This may be the last chapter but don't let that stop you from inflating my ego. (don't worry, I have a pen nearby) Thanx to all of those people who reviewed. Enjoy!!

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Heero's Journal

I've got the formula. Now all I have to do is try it on Duo. This is the right thing right? I mean, changing Duo back. What if she likes the way she is? What if she decides to turn back? I may never again see that happiness in her eyes. When she turns back, will the desolation come back? Will she be afraid to show what she's feeling? Bottle it all up until it erupts violently? I can't imagine how it must feel to have all of those emotions. It must be awfully confusing. I can't really place this emotion I am feeling. Would one define it as regret? I guess I'd have to do research. I like Duo, male or female. I'm sure the other Gundam pilots feel the same way. Maybe she needs to know that. I think Duo's becoming important to me. I feel kind of empty inside at the idea of Duo going back to how she was before. This will stay between you and me. A weakness can not be allowed past these pages.

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Third Person View

Duo sat neatly at her desk writing when there was a sudden knock at the door.

"Come in." Heero walked in nervously as if something ominous was about to happen. Duo tuned around. Heero was holding flowers and hopping from one foot to the other like a nervous schoolboy. Duo smiled amused, wondering what was making Heero so nervous.

"Are those for me?" Duo asked staring at the white roses. Heero looked surprised at the flowers as is he'd never seen them before. For a second or two he stared, confused.

"Yes" He responded, his throat feeling dry. He watched as Duo's eyes lit up. The water formed at the lids. Was she crying?

"Thank you so much." She said softly taking the flowers to hold them. Looking up at Heero, she caught him staring at her. Then she thought of a way to show her gratitude. Leaning forward, she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I mean it Heero. Thank you for the flowers." At that moment, the perfect soldier blushed. He hadn't been expecting Duo to kiss him, but now that she had, he felt as if the heavens had opened up. If OZ were to attack right at this moment, he would die a happy man.

"Actually Duo, I came here to talk to you about something." Heero looked really nervous. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

"Shoot." She said walking to the bathroom to find a vase.

"Huh?" Heero was confused. Why would she tell him to shoot? Was he missing something?

"Go on, tell me what you want." Duo said slowly as if she were talking to a young child.

"We, I found a way to umm, to turn you back, you know, back to how you were before umm, you know."

"You found a way to turn me back to a guy?" Duo asked, trying to interpret Heero's indistinguishable mumble.

"Umm, yeah, I mean, if you want to go back."

Duo stared at Heero for a few minutes. "What if I don't want to turn back? What if I just want to stay as I am?"

Heero looked at Duo. That's when it occurred to him. For one week (yes it has only been a little over a week) he'd let the emotional mask he'd worn for years slip. He'd let Duo get under his skin. Even before the gender change, Duo had started to wear him down. Maybe one could say that Heero finally realized something. One can't be bothered unless he allows the other to bother him. Had he unconsciously been hoping Duo would interrupt him? These feelings were too confusing to Heero. Did, did he love Duo? Of course not, he was the Perfect soldier. The perfect soldier didn't have, nor need emotions. Duo read this confusion on Heero's face. She put her hand softly on his arm.

"Heero, I…I need a little time to think." Heero started for the door, before he stopped and turned around again.

"Duo, no matter what you choose, Trowa, Quatre, me, and even Wufei will be behind you. You're our friend no matter gender, nationality, or PMS. Just…Just remember that." Heero turned around and left, leaving a very confused Duo behind him. Heero was confused himself, wondering what had prompted him to say that. Duo sat softly on the bed, staring at the roses. They truly were beautiful. She stared at the roses until they began to blur. Pulling her knees to her chest, she let the tears go.

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Later

Heero sat quietly outside, watching the sun sink down. This was the first time he'd been able to truly appreciate the sunset.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Heero had been so engrossed; he hadn't heard Duo come up behind him. He silently berated himself, what if that had been an OZ soldier? Duo gave him a small smile before plopping ungracefully next to him.

"I thought a lot about what you said. About how you would like me no matter what I chose." Duo lay back using her arms as a pillow. "I miss some aspects of how I used to be. I mean, it was what made me Duo Maxwell. But now, I can be me without having people stare at me strangely. I can be me without people talking behind my back and making sure that their children don't come near me. For a while, I almost gave in and told you to forget it, I'd rather just stay how I am. But then, I really began to think about it. Am I really that weak? Just to let a few insults bother me? I don't want to be known as a quitter. Duo Maxwell will not let those close minded idiots win. Being who I was before kinda defined me ya know. So in short I guess I'm saying I'll take the pill."

Heero turned to look at Duo. She smiled up at him. "Are you sure?" He asked, not wanting to feel like he was forcing her into anything.

Duo gave him a soft smile. "Underneath that perfect soldier crap, you're a real softie." Sitting up, she held out her hand. "You're not forcing me to do anything." Heero jumped surprised that she had read his mind. With this new confirmation, Heero dropped the pill into her hand, watching as she swallowed it. Then Duo moved closer to him laying her head on his shoulder.

"One thing I'll miss when I turn back is the emotions. When I was female, I didn't have to be afraid to cry. I didn't have to swallow it in because letting it go wasn't manly. Tears came so easily, and they made me feel so much better. The day this mess first happened to me, I remember crying to myself. I was so embarrassed. I wasn't some weak person that the first time trouble headed their way they fold up and cry. Now I realize why people cry. It's simply a way of letting out your anger and sadness. I'll never forget how it felt to cry. Another thing was that I wasn't afraid to say how I felt,"

Heero held his breath, was she going to… "I didn't have to censor things. So right here and now, I'm going to tell you something Heero, and don't you ever forget it. I may forget telling you this, but it will always be in my heart. I love you Heero Yuy, now and forever."

"I," Heero began before Duo put a finger to his lips quieting him.

"Shh, don't say a word. Just live for the moment." Heero watched the sky as the sunset, the stars began to shine, and thanked God he was alive.