Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Changes Of The Heart ❯ Chapter 5

GW and its characters don' belong to me but to Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, Bandai etc. etc.

Okay here's chapter 6. Oh, this story jumps through three different time periods, AC 197, 201 and 204. I've marked which is which so I hope it's not to confusing. Well, anyway, I hope those who read it enjoy it.

June 6th AC 201...

Quatre tightened his embrace around his new bride as they twirled around the dance floor in perfect unison trying to ignore the fellow partygoers who had formed a circle of gawking onlookers around them. "They should just put us under glass."

Relena smiled thinly to suppress a laugh to Quatre's statement. "Maybe this is why people prefer to marry only once."

Just as she had finished her sentence the music died down and the song ended with Quatre bowing before Relena and her returning the gesture with a curtsy. Then, taking her hand Quatre took a step to lead Relena from the dance floor but before that step was even finished the high pitched clinking sounds of spoons tapping against glasses filled the ballroom. Quatre took a deep breath and sighed, smiling politely before leaning into Relena, capturing her lips with his.

"I'm getting out of here for awhile. Just tell people I received a phone call and had to leave."

Trowa looked over at Heero. "You think you're the only one who wishes they could get out of this reception? At least you didn't have to be the best man."

Heero turned away. "Sorry. I forgot this is hard on you too."

Trowa shrugged. "You can leave. I'll cover for you."

"Are you sure?" Heero asked.

"Go on. I've lived through worse."

"I owe you one."

Trowa grinned. "Several actually, but who's keeping track."

Heero left acknowledging Trowa with a nod. Draining the last of his champagne he set the empty flute on a tray that was being carried on the shoulders of a passing attendant. He straightened his bowtie and smoothed out his tux jacket and began making his way through the sea of guests until he reached the dance floor.

Quatre turned feeling a gentle tap on his shoulder. "May I? You look like you need to rest your feet?"

Quatre's smile was wide. "Trowa. I was wondering if you were still here? Where's Heero?"

"Phone call. I think it was urgent. He'll be back later I'm sure. Until then may I have the honor Mrs. Winner?"

Relena bowed her head. "Of course Mr. Barton."

Quatre kissed Relena's cheek. "I'll think I'll go and get a drink."

"All right." Relena softly replied and within seconds found herself being twirled around the dance floor once again, this time by Trowa; Relena spoke first breaking several seconds of silence.

"I don't blame you for not liking me much, especially now. It must seem like I'm taking him away from you somehow."

Trowa looked down at her. "I hold no malice towards you Relena, and, just to clarify. I do not allow anything to be taken from me unless I choose to let it be taken."

Relena flashed her gaze to catch his. "Sounds like you have some control issues."

Trowa grinned somewhat. "No more than yourself madam. Like me you've been in servitude your entire life pleasing other people, living for them instead of yourself. Being ashamed of who you were because you think your real self is not good enough."

Relena clenched her jaw feeling her sweet demeanor melting away, unlike anyone else Trowa had always managed to be the only one to ever really be able to pick her apart and expose her naked psyche; still she managed to maintain her civility-this was her wedding day, she was not going to be angry.

Clearing her head she spoke. "I actually should thank you for being so understanding of the situation. You seem to be taking it better than Heero is."

Trowa chuckled softly. "I'm not surprised you were able to convince him. I've always told people how remarkable I thought you were being able to influence a guy like Heero."

"I don't know about that Trowa. You seem to have a pretty strong influence on him yourself, without you he never would have even noticed me."

She caught her breath somewhat as he pulled her even closer to him and whispered in her ear. "You could have easily gotten Heero on your own merits-you certainly never needed my help, though I have no regrets about assisting you in your search for..."

Trowa flinched somewhat feeling the tip of Relena's heel applied lightly to the top of his foot. "This is not the place to discuss such things."

Trowa's smart-ass grin never left him and without missing a step he twirled Relena around dipping her. "May I remind you who brought the subject up?"

Relena wanted to scream and laugh at the same time. Trowa had always told her she was one capable of using elegant words to persuade and manipulate others, but he had learned over the years, how to use his body and charm to bend others to his will, and he would be the first to admit it.

The song ended and the couple acknowledged the applause as the clock struck mid-night.

"Time to go claim your prince, Cindarella."

Relena looked up at Trowa. "You know, I've always hated that story." She then spied Quatre across the room, a glassy look in his eyes. "I guess I should follow suit and get as drunk as he is."

"I don't know." Trowa shrugged. "You should take advantage of the situation. Quatre is really a great lover."

Relena held her breath, grateful that no one could hear the conversation. "Just help me get him upstairs will you please?"

"Sure thing."

All the while Heero was at a bar down the street from the hotel where the reception was being held damning himself and his luck. What real man would stand by and watch the woman he loved marry someone else? True it was to ensure peace, but whatever the reason it wasn't right. When had he become such a puppy dog to Relena? Asking how high when she told him to jump. Of course when it came to the sex she had allowed him to be in control most times, submitting without question to his deviant fantasies, what some people would even label as sadomasochistic practices. But sex was not what their relationship was based on and that was not the main reason he stayed with her, nor was it the vow of protecting her. He stayed with Relena because he loved her. She had become his life, his very reason for existence, feeling he would surely die if he ever had to live without her. And so, that love had put him in the position he was in now.

She had convinced him that it would be no different. That this maneuver was merely another way he had to learn to share her with her public, and that her love for him would never change. Heero shook his head, telling her she was naïve, no, not naïve, just to optimistic and unrealistic for her own good, but then she gave him the look, and her voice softened as did her body as she pressed it against his. He wondered where and when she had learned to use sex as well as words to gain what she wanted. He had left her for an entire year after her kidnapping by the Bartons to find himself, and when he had returned she had changed. She had grown into a woman with all of the physical and mental attributes that all women seem to possess, but she seemed to have become an even more, charming, seductive, elegant lady that he had found he could no longer resist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Funny. I never thought Quatre would be so heavy." Relena huffed as she helped Trowa drag Quatre into the bedroom.

"I think it was the entire pint of whatever it was he helped himself to."

They eased Quatre down onto the bed and slid to the floor to relax; Relena snagged a bottle of champagne out of a bucket of ice that had been placed on their dresser earlier. She sighed in relief, finding it already uncorked and began to guzzle the bottle.

Trowa's eyes widened a little and he began to laugh. "Drinking that fast will make you puke before it even gets a chance to enter your blood system."

She lowered the bottle from her lips. "I'm desperate."

Trowa's eyes glanced up towards Quatre. "He should only be out for an hour or two then you guys can get around to consummating your marriage." He looked back at her noticing her paler had gone a little white. "You okay? Are you getting sick?" Relena closed her eyes and shook her head. "Not from the alcohol. I, just, I just don't know if I can go through with this?"

She looked over at Trowa and noticed him smiling warmly. "I've heard you tell me that before Relena." She jumped somewhat feeling his hand glide up her arm and then rest against her cheek. "It'll be fine. Just like it was then."

Relena covered her mouth realizing her bottom lip was trembling somewhat. "But Heero? What have I done? What am I doing to him? I'm evil Trowa. I'm disgusting and evil. I don't deserve him or anyone."

Trowa's voice grew stern and he forced her chin up so that she had to look at him. "Remember. We do what we must to survive. None of us are pure Relena. Sin is natural and everyone has a dark side. We can either accept the evil within us and learn how to use it for our own pleasures, or we can fight against it our entire lives and make ourselves totally miserable though the deprivation of our desires...our wants...our impulses." He leaned into Relena to steal a kiss.

The kiss was soft and heated as his words continued. "Have my lessons fallen on deaf ears? Do you not remember anything of what I taught you about life...about love? Doing what you must to get what you want does not make you a bad person. It makes you human and it makes you real. No regrets Relena. No regrets." Relena shook her head silently and closed her eyes and parting her lips she gave into him completely.

She jumped somewhat feeling the bodice of her wedding gown being ripped down her back; the tiny intricate buttons scattering lord knows where. In one swift tug Trowa pulled the bodice off of Relena's upper body and was now half on top of her pushing the bodice and the skirt of the dress down the rest of her body. She moaned softly feeling his hands pressing together her breasts so that his lips could encircle and his teeth could scrap both of her nipples at the same time. She opened her mouth and began to sigh heavily Trowa's name but before she could sound it out entirely Trowa's hand clasped over her mouth; he brought his lips back up to her ear, his voice in a stern whisper. "Quiet. No one must know I'm in here."

She pulled away his hand and inhaled a deep breath. "I understand." She lost herself once again in his kiss, emotions and feelings from a few years back flooding her memory.

Back further in time to AC 197...

Saddened by the sudden departure of her brother and Noin compiled with Heero's own disappearing act had left Relena Dorlian confused and devastated. She had worked so hard to bring together the earth and colonies, yet those people who she had felt the closest to she had been unable to keep together. There was of course Hildie and Duo and Quatre who tried to fill the void and lighten her mood but nothing had seemed to work. Then one day an ad to attend the circus had mysteriously found its way under her hotel room door. At first she had told herself she was not going to go, but then it would have been rude to turn down the invite, and so she had snuck out that afternoon and went to the show.

Afterward, Catherine had approached her and taken her back behind the scenes where she ended up having dinner with Trowa, Catherine and a few other of the circus performers. That evening she actually found herself laughing, something she had not done in months. At eleven-thirty that night, she thanked everyone for their hospitality, said good-bye and then excused herself, only to find that her car would not start. Being that it was getting late and she was getting somewhat tired she accepted Trowa's offer to take her home.

For several minutes they rode in silence, and then Trowa asked her how she truly was feeling. She didn't know why but the question caused her to break down and pour her heart out to the one time gundam pilot, other than Wufei, that she had known very little about.

Once to her hotel she allowed Trowa to walk her up to her room and invited him in for coffee, where she confided in him some more, asking him the question that only Heero could have answered.

"Why did he leave?"

Trowa did not even attempt to answer, though part of him was highly upset with Heero for his actions. Did the man not truly realize what kind of treasure he had in a girl like Relena? She then had said something else that had made him do a double take.

"Maybe it was because I'm not pretty or sexy enough, or I'm to childish in some ways..." Then she had confessed to him that she didn't know one thing about how to attract a man, no doubt because of the fact that she was still a virgin, and then, came the clincher. She asked him if he knew what she could do to make herself more attractive, more desirable, joking that she had always been jealous of the girls that were able to wrap men around their little fingers.

"Relena." Trowa said her name in all seriousness. "I don't think you need any help becoming more physically attractive, you just need to learn how to use it." He smiled a little at the confused look she gave him. He took her hands into his and intensely gazed into her eyes. "I can and am willing to show you everything you need to know, but I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you either."

Relena swallowed hard and truly looked at him for the first time that evening. She had always found him secretly attractive, but his spurt into adulthood had made him even more so. Suddenly she shied away and told him she did not want his pity.

"Do you think of me in that way Relena?"

She shrugged. "I don't know you enough to say, but I'm not as desperate as I act, I will not be pitied or used."

Trowa knitted his brows together. "When I offer myself to someone Relena it is not because I feel sorry for them. It is because I want to be with them." He cupped her chin and lifted her face to his. "And in this situation it is you who would be using me. Would it not?"

His twisted logic and the kiss that followed sealed Relena's fate. And that is when Relena gave herself to Trowa as his student in the lessons of his philosophies and sexuality.

The next day Trowa had purposefully injured himself, a minor injury but one that would require at least a few months leave from the circus. He then took up a desk job at the Preventers HQ where he could be close to Relena without appearing suspicious. But it also had brought him back into contact with Quatre and soon their friendship was rekindled and quickly became more. Then, a few months later, Relena's wish came true when Heero returned to claim her as his. It was at that time that Trowa Barton and Relena Dorlian had terminated their relationship as quickly as they had began it. And, needless to say Trowa never did return to the circus.

Back to AC 201...

Relena bit her lip to suppress crying out Trowa's name again feeling his now naked body pressed against hers, his sex pressed against her vaginal opening even more so. "It's been so long since we've done this."

"Just this one time Relena, then never again. Please. I need you so bad right now." Trowa then swallowed hard that moment as a proclamation of love almost escaped his lips. He heard her tell him she needed him too and so he entered her roughly, without restraint.

Relena's throaty cry was that of pleasure as she found herself submitting her body and soul once again to the man who confused her like no other person, the one man who she knew in her heart she would never be able to resist. A powerful man who she would never declare her love to for fear of losing her very self in him.

Trowa's climatic response was almost that of a sob as he tried to be silent, his fingers digging into Relena's sides as he felt the increasing moisture around his sex as his fluids mixed with hers. Relena tasted her own blood as she bit her tongue releasing a mousy squeal of her own, she shivered slightly as their warm combined juices began to cool on the inside of her thighs as he pulled away from her. She instinctively sat up and pulled her torn dress over her body as Trowa rose and began to dress himself.

Silence fell between them. He slipped on his last shoe and began to walk towards the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob and cracked the door open. The coast was clear and he slipped outside into the hall but before he could close the door completely behind him, Relena, who had begun drinking the almost full bottle of champagne again, became bold. "I don't regret anything we've ever done."

His eyes caught hers for a split second as he spoke. "Neither have I Relena. Neither have I."

The door softly clicked shut and that was the last time she had ever had any real words with Trowa Barton.

Back to present day...AC 204

"I'm fine Quatre. Don't worry Heero's on his way to get me. Of course I'll see you later tonight. I love you too sweetie. Now get back to work so you can get home earlier. All right, all right. I will Bye." Relena snapped her phone shut and slid it back down into her purse and then checked her watch. "It shouldn't take this long for Heero to get here."

She heard the horn of a car and looked out the window surprised to see Trowa's silver Jaguar XK pull up; it had been a birthday present to him from Quatre. Why was he here? She took a deep breath and summoned up all of her courage. She had found Trowa to be the only person in the world that could make her feel nervous and unguarded...vulnerable. She stepped out through the doors to be greeted by Trowa who opened the passenger door for her.

"Ever the gentleman, eh Trowa?" She smiled at him before asking him where Heero was. He waited until he was in the car before he answered her.

"Banged his leg. He's in the ER but it's nothing serious. We're going there now to pick him up."

Relena chuckled. "How'd you manage to get him into the hospital?"

He smiled back at her. "I told him how pissed you'd be if he didn't, plus that you'd skin me alive in the process, so I did it really out of self preservation."

"Do I really nag that much?"

"No. But you can lecture a person until their ears bleed."

Relena laughed again. "Comes with the territory."

"I suppose." Trowa sighed. "By the way. Since parenthood is a definite now what are you and Heero going to be doing?"

"What about you and Quatre?"

"Damn Relena. You would have to ask me that."

"Only fair."

Trowa smiled and sighed again. "I've always loved verbally fencing with you Relena, among other things."

"Trowa, please."

"What? I'm not suggesting anything. It's over, simple as that. We had one final night and it'll never be repeated. So. What about Heero?"

Just then Trowa came to a stop at a red light and in a huff Relena pushed open the door and jumped out of the car before he could stop her.

"Relena!" He cursed her as he was forced to drive off, but then making a quick u-turn he caught up with her and followed beside her quick pace with the car. "Get in the damn car Relena!"

She halted her steps and then turned to face him. "Why Trowa? Why do you suddenly want to torment me like this?" She began to walk off again as he pulled the car over and slipped out of the vehicle; she felt him grab her arm.

"Why are you running away from me Relena?"

"Why are suddenly trying to catch me?"

"Because if I lose you," he paused running his fingers through his hair, searching for words, but instead of the truth he lied, "Heero and Quatre would be furious with me." Relena inhaled a deep breath and exhaled it slowly and then walked back over to the car and opened the door turning a moment to speak to Trowa.

"You are the only person that truly frightens me. I can't trust myself around you, I, I can't, oh to hell with you Trowa." The end of Relena's sentence was a mere whisper as she bowed her head and covered her eyes with one of her hands while the other hand clutched onto the car door handle for support. She felt him close to her now standing before her, his forehead pressed to hers one of his hands absent mindedly began to stroke her hair.

"Don't you realize Relena why I've avoided you? It's because I feel the same way."

"What?" Her face took the expression of bewilderment and she pulled away enough to look up at him. "But I thought nothing frightened you."

He opened his mouth to speak but before words could come out Relena's cell phone began to ring; he pulled away from her.

"It's probably Heero wondering where we are." He walked over to the driver side of his car. Relena did her best to calm herself and answered the phone. "Hi Heero." Trowa stared at Relena, amazed as her demeanor changed, even laughing off their tardiness telling Heero Trowa's car had overheated and needed antifreeze.

Trowa almost smiled, she had become a master at the art of wearing many masks; she had learned the lessons he had taught her well. Though he would have never thought he would ever have gotten so hung up on her, but then there was Quatre. His life had been so clear to him until he had linked up with Relena and obviously it was the same for her. But part of him had wanted her or he never would have slipped the circus advertisement under her door or disconnected the battery cable from her car. His thoughts were interrupted by her voice. "I told Heero we'd be right there."

"Then we better get going."

TBC...