Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Chaotic Control ❯ Chaotic Control ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Chaotic Control

Author: hostilecrayon

Pairing: 1=2

Rating: G

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst

Word Count: 1,286

Disclaimer: The GW boys aren't mine. I have much sadness.

Notes: Written for Anime_Fishi! Prompt of fluff. Doubles as the entry for GW500's beach/rain prompt.

 

Chaotic Control

 

It's been fourteen years since the end of the war and the beginning of me and Heero's relationship. It was tentative at first, and slow to develop. Neither of us knew how to go about a proper relationship, and we stumbled around with fights and clumsy attempts at intimacy before we managed anything remotely close to a normal relationship, or as close to normal as either of us could manage.

 

The road was long and at times hard, but it was worth every second.

 

We've come a long way from fumbling around in the dark and getting my hair caught in his zipper, but it doesn't mean we've forgotten where we started. And though some of it is embarrassing, and even more of it is just down right ridiculous, there are some things we started then that will live on with us for the rest of our lives.

 

We realized early on that it's the little things that mean the most - yet it's always the little things people take for granted. We decided right away, when we finally discovered we wanted a lot more than just a maybe sort of thing, that we would do one small thing everyday that was entirely for the other person. It didn't have to be anything extravagant - a love note on the coffee machine, saving the last piece of cake, a spontaneous back rub were all perfectly acceptable. And no matter what, under any circumstances, we kept up the tradition.

 

Our first fight was no exception.

 

If I were to be completely honest with you, I can't even remember what we fought about. It was something so trivial that it just doesn't matter thirteen years later. I'm sure if I picked Heero's brain, he could come up with the reason, but the truth is, I just don't care. It's not important to me.

 

All I know is there I was, having stormed out of the house in a fit of childish rage, sitting on the beach a few blocks from our house with my bare feet tucked next to me, just watching the water as it came crashing against the shore before rolling away, only to start again. At the time, it reminded me of our relationship; the ebb and flow of a chaotic control that was so simple, and yet completely beyond my grasp.

 

It was cold - somewhere in the low thirties - and I couldn't help but shiver in my faded blue jeans. I wasn't wearing a shirt, and so when the rain began to fall, my only possible defense was to cross my arms across my chest and hunch in on myself, trying to keep all of the warmth I could.

 

I spent a good fifteen minutes in the freezing rain brooding before I sensed someone approaching. I had a good idea who it was, so I ignored it, my eyes firmly fixed on the strip of sand that was continuously covered and uncovered by the white foam of the ocean. My hair was soaking wet and frizzed at the edges and I could feel my body becoming numb in the frigid air.

 

After a few moments of the other person present just watching me, I felt something fall around my shoulders. Without a word, the material was rubbed across my naked back and when it came around to my chest, I realized it was a towel. Heero came to stand in front of me and just looked at me for a second; his dark blue irises burning into mine.

 

Then, as the rain increased its fury, he took off his coat. He wasn't nearly prepared for the cold just as I wasn't, and he was wearing his faded green tank top, and despite the rain matting his hair to his forehead, he looked as if he were about to crawl into bed. His skin was slowly turning red as he was pelted with freezing water and he shook his jacket out once before draping it around my shoulders. I shook my head to protest, but with his mouth pressed into a firm line, he helped my numb limbs into the arm holes and zipped up the front.

 

Sluggishly, I got to my feet, my gaze fixed on the black waters before me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Heero look out to the ocean before starting to move back in the direction he came from. For a moment, I thought he was leaving until I felt a tentative hand slip around my waist from behind. He hesitated in a moment of askance, and when I didn't say anything, I felt his warmth engulf me as he pressed against my back, both hands wrapped firmly around my waist and his chin laying lightly on my left shoulder; his eyes joining mine lost somewhere in the waters.

 

We stood there shivering the downpour for a while; sharing our warmth while the ocean ebbed and flowed as we watched.

 

When he finally did speak, his voice was soft, but it still managed to startle me from my thoughts. “The ocean reminds me of my life.” It was a simple statement, but it held a melancholy that I could feel more than hear.

 

“Why?” My voice was hoarse, mostly from the earlier fight we'd had, but he heard me all the same.

 

“It just is. It has little choice in what it does; strong winds and disturbances can push it to be strong, making its waves able to cause so much destruction, but without something moving it along, its waves are weak enough for an infant to play in.” His dejected words made me shake my head, vigorously disagreeing with his assessment.

 

“Not weak, Heero. Gentle.” He didn't reply. I could tell he didn't agree, so I spun round in his arms, making him look me in the eyes. We were mere inches apart, and I embraced him tightly; staring into his dark eyes. Even that close, I could barely make out his features, lightly illuminated by what little of the moon was shining through the clouds and the distant dull shine of the streetlights. “Sometimes we don't have a choice in what we do because our decisions affect those around us.” He opened his mouth to speak and I hurried on, not letting him get a word in before I finished. “But you made the choice to come find me in the rain, and you are the one who chose to give me your jacket when you are in no state to be in this weather without one, and I, I have a choice to make as well.”

 

As the rain fell around us, I kissed his blue lips until they were warm again. I pressed my forehead to his, the wisps of my hair that had managed to come loose surrounding our faces. “I'm sorry, `Ro.”

 

His warm breath puffed across my cheeks; the steam rising like smoke. “Me too.” His hand slid from my back and he laced his fingers with mine. “You ready to go home?”

 

I smiled softly at him. “Yeah. Let's go home.”

 

That night, with just his jacket, he showed me that forever was more than an option. It was a definite. The little things in life are what keep us going, and our relationship of chaotic control can't possibly end as long as we're always willing to take the little steps it takes to keep us moving in the right direction.

 

As for what I did for him that day, well, I gave him a hot bath to warm his body, and it led to other activities that kept us warm the whole night through.

 

But then, that's another story.