Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Come With Me ❯ One-Shot
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Arigatomina 
Warnings: Yaoi, major angst, shonen ai, sap, 1x2/2+1. Unwilling to stay in a painful relationship, Duo is ready to leave. But Heero won't let him go.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.08.2002 | Pages: 8 | Words: 7.9K | Visits: 952 | Status: Completed
Warnings: Yaoi, major angst, shonen ai, sap, 1x2/2+1. Unwilling to stay in a painful relationship, Duo is ready to leave. But Heero won't let him go.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.08.2002 | Pages: 8 | Words: 7.9K | Visits: 952 | Status: Completed
Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at a song-fic, so be kind. I really don't know how the format for these is supposed to be set up. Also, I may have gotten two of the words in the song wrong, gomen, I wrote down what I thought I heard. The song is Come With me (Puff Daddy's version), and since the first time I heard it, it screamed 1x2 to me. ^__^' This will include images from the series, the movie, and my own.
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, TWT, Song-fic
Warnings: shonen ai, minor angst, sap, possible OOC
Pairings: 2+1/1+2, 1x2
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Come With Me
He didn't hesitate, snatching the small disc from the table without a single word. It was hard to believe, that the boy might have left without any warning, but he'd known the moment he spotted the empty parking spot. The empty drawers spoke volumes when Heero reached their room, and he slid into the chair in front of his desk. There was nothing on his face, no hint of expression, but he held the small circular disc ever so carefully, slipping it into his laptop. Then he set himself down, his complete attention on what played; it was the only note Duo had left behind.
* * *
//Hear my cries, hear my calls,
Lend me your ears//
Pausing in the doorway, Duo swallowed, his throat so dry his tongue felt as if it were plastered to the roof of his mouth. The boy didn't even glance back at him, not at all encouraging. But then, he hadn't expected any help, he'd taken a leap of faith that what he was about to say wouldn't result in heartache. Anything was better than staying silent.
"Heero? Can I talk to you?"
No response came from the Japanese pilot, and he stepped into the room, heart pounding in his chest. "It won't take long," he said softly, his eyes moving over the glowing screen of the laptop. There was a message coming in and he gritted his teeth and rushed forward till he stood behind the boy's chair. "Heero, about last night." The boy's shoulders tensed visibly, and Duo held his breath for a moment before continuing. "I think...I..."
Heero stood suddenly, pushing his chair back and making the boy behind him jump. "Mission."
"Heero!" He was gone by the time he got the name past his lips. "Wait..."
* * *
//See my fall//
He woke suddenly, a hand curling around the gun he kept tucked beneath his pillow. Without a sound, he sat up and aimed it at the doorway. Then he froze when he saw who it was, calmed a bit by the time the boy reached his bed. "Heero? What's wrong?"
Not speaking, Heero plucked the gun away, setting it firmly on the small stand beside Duo's bed. Then he grabbed the boy's shoulders and pressed their lips together
//See my error; know my faults//
"What...why?" Blinking rapidly, Duo held the boy away from him, staring into intense eyes. "Heero, where did this *come* from?"
"Lust is a distraction, don't pretend. I've seen the looks you give me. If we have sex, we won't have to lust anymore."
The cold words made him cringe inwardly, and he opened his mouth to argue. But Heero's glare caused him to pause, especially since it looked as if he were about to speak again. It wasn't often that the boy took the time to talk to him. And the fact that they were so close to having sex made his longing for the boy scream at him to shut up.
"We can do this," Heero said harshly, his muscles tense. "Or I can leave now."
"No...don't leave..."
* * *
//Time halts; see my loss//
Duo held to him, his arms gripping that slender waist as he pressed his face into Heero's neck. His body was still strumming, an achy warmth filling him with content. Then the boy moved, the arms unwrapping from around him. He knew the moment Heero sat up what was going to happen, and it twisted his heart, tearing at him. "You could stay here," he offered, but his voice was dull.
"There's no reason to."
* * *
//Know I'm lacking//
The bruises hurt, every inch of him as if they'd placed him under a steamroller. He could tell from the pain in his chest that some of his ribs were bruised, one nearly broken. But he hadn't told them anything, not a single detail that might help OZ find the other pilots. All he'd given them was his contempt, and Duo smirked wryly, picking himself up from the floor of the cell. Tearing the bandage off his nose, he leaned against the wall, his every breath strained. He'd messed up badly, getting caught so soon. The first thing that had run through his mind when he'd woken in custody was that Heero would never have been caught that easily.
Remembering, he closed his eyes with a pain that wasn't physical in origin. Then the sound reached him, the door opening and he looked up. The perfect soldier had come to correct his mistake.
//Backtracking, where I met you//
Even as he stared at the light-shrouded figure, a similar image grew in his mind. He looked the same, the stance; the dark intensity in those narrowed eyes. Only this time, Duo didn't have a gun to shoot him with, nothing to catch him off guard. And it was *his* life that was at stake now.
//Pistol packing
Itchy finger, trigger-happy//
"Are you going to kill me, Heero?" The words came out well, an almost detached tint to them that made him proud. "I guess if I'm going to die, I'd rather it be you." No hint of emotion, no softening in those eyes, and he closed his own eyes, feigning a readiness for his death. He thought the boy would stop, that he wouldn't do it. He had to believe that he wouldn't be able to go through with it. Unless what he felt was truly one-sided.
//Try to trap me, beat the rap//
There was a click as the hammer was drawn back and Duo's eyes flew open in absolute shock. "You're really going to kill me, aren't you."
"If you want me to."
* * *
//Why you tap me?//
"I've already enrolled, under your name."
The boy's words echoed repeatedly in his mind. He tried to think of a reason for Heero to have done such a thing and came up with nothing. Suppressing his hope had become natural, but he gave in now, and he remembered the careless way the information had been tossed over the boy's shoulder. Heero had used his name, for his own reasons. If that didn't have meaning, Duo didn't know what did. It was almost enough to make him resigned to healing while the Japanese pilot made his infiltration into the Lunar base.
* * *
//Backstab me//
His eyes burnt, not from staring at his hands without blinking, but from the angry fire that raged inside him. Heero was gone. If he thought the boy's intentions were merely to rescue Relena, he would have wished him luck. But that wasn't it; he knew it wasn't. He'd left without telling him, not a single word. Quatre had been the one to tell him where the pilot had gone and the implications of that were clear. He'd left, to save *her*, and he hadn't said a word beforehand.
* * *
//Break the faith, fall from grace
Tell me lies//
Minutes passed before Duo realized the boy holding him wasn't going to leave. Their encounters had grown more frequent since the battles with Libra. Now Heero was lying beside him, and he marveled at the easiness of his expression, almost soft. But those dark blue eyes were closed. "Heero?" The boy didn't move, but he knew he was listening, he could hear him. They were mere inches apart so there wasn't any way he could *not* hear him. "You've been so quiet. I mean...more than usual. What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
Still, the boy didn't look at him, and Duo sighed, laying his head on the pillow. "If something *was* wrong...you'd tell me, right?"
"Yes. Now go to sleep or I'll go to my own bed."
//Time flies
Close your eyes; come with me//
"Just one more thing," Duo whispered, staring intently. "It's easier, Heero, if you let me in. It's so much harder alone..."
* * *
//Come with me
Come with me//
* * *
//You said to trust you; you'd never hurt me//
The others had gone their own ways, but he'd followed Wing Zero to the nearest colony. With the new alliance between space and earth, there was no reason to hide and he left Deathscythe Hell, running to the battered suit. The cockpit opened with a hiss, the white metal blackened and he watched as Heero climbed down. For a moment, they looked at each other, then Duo ran forward, his arms holding the boy to him.
"Reckless, Heero. I was sure you'd die, but you didn't." Strong arms rose and he sighed, leaning against the Japanese pilot. "You were great, but you knew that."
"You should have had faith in me," Heero said, his voice low. "I went out there to keep the block from falling on the earth, not to die."
"I know," Duo murmured, relishing in Heero's easy embrace of him.
"The war's over now...no more pain."
"Yeah..."
* * *
//Now I'm disgusted, since been adjusted//
He watched as Heero stood suddenly, his jacket thrown over one shoulder. The boy had reached the door before Duo could even ask where he was going.
"Relena has been kidnapped."
Those words were delivered in a rushed tone, and his mocking smile hurt as he tried to play off his hurt. He could pretend all he wanted, could remind himself that Heero had told him he didn't love the girl. But Duo knew it was stupid to believe that, and it didn't matter anyway. Heero didn't love him either.
* * *
//Suddenly you fooled me, ridiculed me//
"If things get too heavy, fall back."
Those words tore at him, and he leaned over the controls, throwing his anger into preparation for the battle ahead. Heero had absolutely no faith in him, obviously, expecting him to cut loose at the first sign of danger. He was a Gundam pilot, but that didn't seem to be enough. Duo knew the real reason Heero expected him to pull out, because he wasn't fighting to save Relena the way the Japanese pilot was. The boy knew, he was there to keep Heero alive and to prevent the colony from falling on the earth. Heero was there to rescue his princess.
* * *
//Left me hangin'//
He lay still on the cold floor, his mind centering on the pain in his stomach rather than the one in his heart. The blows didn't matter, Heero had done what was necessary to allow one of them escape. That wasn't it. It was the fact that once again, just like before, he'd left him alone as he went on his own to save that girl. Always that girl.
//My shit's boomerangin'
Right back at you, pistol range//
Pushing himself to his knees, Duo opened his eyes, glaring at the dark wall across from him. There was no excuse for his feelings; he was stronger than that. The Japanese boy was so callous to him, using him for whatever reasons and he always known that. This was just one more blow, one more proof that the boy didn't care about him at all. Fury raged through him, but he hid it, his fingers flying to the picks in his hair. Heero wanted to rescue Relena, but Duo had more important things to take care of; he had a rebellion to wipe out.
* * *
//Narrow minded, left me blinded//
"I wasn't waiting for you," Trowa said coldly, not looking over his shoulder at the American.
Despite his flippant words, Duo was not at all surprised to hear that. Like Heero, the tall boy had no faith in him. And suddenly, he didn't blame either of them. He was a fool and he knew it. Watching Trowa's back, he thought of the questionable relationship he and Heero shared, and he knew the fact that he called it a relationship was only more proof of his idiocy. The word implied something two-sided, and they didn't have that. Whether the boy loved her or not, Relena obviously held more power over the boy than he ever would, and it was much more appropriate. Society would have agreed.
//I cosigned it, shit that fine
But I don't sink back//
He joked when Sally joined them, but inside he was growing cold. He'd finish it, stop the rebels and help his partner rescue Relena. Then, when it was over, he'd leave them all behind him. There was no excuse for putting up with the pain and the abuse, the lack of caring. If it hurt him, then he had no one to blame but himself for having put up with it for so long. But no more, he wouldn't take it anymore.
//I'm grinded, I mean with air pressure//
Curt words echoed in his mind, cold blue eyes, even after a night of shared passion bore into his soul. He'd thought the end of the war would have made things better, but the boy had turned back. All of the progress they'd made had disappeared, those hints of softening he'd seen wiped away. But he was stronger for it, and he decided then that he owed the boy more than he'd ever say. By treating him the way he had, Heero had shaped him, prepared him for the rest of his life. He'd learned his lesson.
* * *
//You comprehend me?
You want to end me//
Duo didn't want to go into the room, but Quatre would never have understood why he would be willing to abandon their comrade. As it was, the sight of Heero's body tore at him, and he moved to stand beside him without even thinking about it. Relena had checked him in, and Duo reminded himself of this after Quatre so kindly left them alone. He had to remind himself that the boy in front of him wasn't as vulnerable as he looked with the white sheet pulled up to his shoulders, his hands limp against the cloth. This wasn't the young boy it seemed to be, it was Heero.
A sad smile curved his lips and he brushed his fingers over the boy's right hand, just once before turning away. But his exit was halted, and he looked back, confused that the boy's eyes were still closed. The hand holding his was strong, but he was torn between that strength and the implied need of the sleeping boy. Then Heero squeezed his hand, holding tight as if to stop him from going and he sank to his knees beside the bed. His decisions were dropped as quickly, and he couldn't deny how wonderful it was to feel needed, the thought that there might still be hope for them.
* * *
//You offend me//
The boy looked much better, and Duo was seated beside his bed, keeping him company as usual. It wouldn't be long before Heero was recovered enough to leave the hospital, and he'd been thinking of the future. "I just don't know," he murmured, Heero watching him. "We could go anywhere."
"Quatre asked if I would move in with him, Trowa is doing the same."
Duo blinked sharply, surprised when Heero looked away from him. "What?"
"I told him I would, there's no reason not to."
Heero still wasn't looking at him, and Duo's teeth clenched. Quatre was great, and he wouldn't have minded the thought of them staying with the boy, but Heero hadn't said *they* would move in, he'd said that *he* planned to. The implication wasn't lost on him, and he glared in outrage. But the boy either didn't notice, or didn't care. He never did.
* * *
//Trauma, feel the trauma//
Setting the last box on the floor of their room, Duo knelt and ripped off the tape. He was almost done with the unpacking, and he had to admit, the room was comfortable. It was when he threw back the lid that he froze, and he stared at the dark plastic. His hands moved of their own accord, and he lifted the laptop, staring at it with incomprehension. Heero had promised him, he'd sworn that he would throw it away. There was no need for it any longer and it symbolized the war in a way the Gundams never had for Duo.
His head jerked when he heard the door open, and he turned, staring at Heero's closed expression. He knew his confusion must have shown on his face, but the boy wasn't looking at him. Then Heero walked to him, and jerked it out of his hands without a word.
//Come with me//
He couldn't speak, and he watched as the boy set the small computer on the desk, his motions the same as if nothing had changed. And nothing had. Heero was still shutting him out, unable to rid himself of that outlet he was so attached to and the silence hurt more than the betrayal.
* * *
//Come with me
Don't be afraid
Come with me//
* * *
//I close my eyes...and I see...
You...standing there...//
Cool air reached him, and he opened his eyes, his hand smoothing over the empty space beside him. The room was dark, and Duo sat up silently, his eyes moving around the room and freezing on the door to the balcony. The boy's back was to him, and he was reminded of how badly things were between them. He was completely isolated, even when they were together Heero refused to let him in.
//I cry...
Tears...of sorrow...//
"Heero..." Pausing in the doorway, he winced at the way his voice shook, his whisper sounding so pathetic it hurt to hear.
"Go back to sleep," Heero said sharply, not so much as glancing over his shoulder. "I want to be alone."
//I die...//
He felt as if he'd been struck, but his eyes were dry when he closed them, turning away. The silence burned, and he went to the bed, not looking back.
* * *
//Fought my enemies, fought my foes
Damn these hoes//
The steps were cool beneath his hands, and Duo's eyes swept out over the green lawn. The others were inside, but the back porch was quiet, and he needed that, he needed to think. He wasn't passive, and he could tell that his stubbornness was leading him to destruction. There had to be a reason, he had convinced himself of that months before, and he wondered if it were true. During the war, they'd had a bond, one of mutual intent. They'd felt the same, the need to fight, the hatred for those seeking to oppress them, the lust for battle as an escape.
//You're steppin' on my toes//
Heero had been just as distant then, and he'd never thought twice about it. He'd understood that the boy refused to be distracted by anything; nothing could be allowed to hinder him from completing his missions. Duo understood that, and he had respected the boy for his dedication. Their missions had been important.
//Back up off me, get your hands off me//
Even when the coldness reached the point of blatant disregard, he hadn't been complained. He could remember one instance when the boy had shrugged his arm away and while it had hurt, he still hadn't faulted him. During the war, there'd been no room for emotional ties. But things were supposed to be different now, peace was supposed to heal them.
//Give me room to breathe//
He'd been debating for weeks, and he wondered if the boy would ever be able to get used to having someone there. If he left for a while, he would know for sure and he thought that maybe Heero needed the space; he seemed to want it. But he didn't think he could do that, it hurt too much and he was afraid that if he left, he wouldn't come back. If he went away, Heero might not want him to come back.
//I'm not hearin' it, I'm not fearin' it
I'm up to my ears in it, bullshit//
Duo sighed, shrugging off his thoughts roughly. He couldn't forget the way the boy had spoken after the war, the way he'd held him in the hospital. Heero wanted him there, he had to. It was up to him to convince the boy of this, and he knew he wasn't ready to give up on breaking through to the boy beneath the cold exterior. He wasn't willing to give up on the dream.
* * *
//I'm destructive//
The green scythe curved down, metal turning red before melting beneath the blow as it was split. Even as he knelt, he brought the back of the staff up, stabbing it into the face of the mobile suit behind him. His heart was racing in his chest, and a cruel smile curved his lips as he scanned the battlefield for his next target. For a moment, he caught sight of Heero's Gundam not too far away. He smirked, satisfied to see the boy fighting just as hard, if without his own enthusiasm.
* * *
//Some women think that's seductive//
The suit was a mess, but Duo crashed into the door, plowing through it. The hole Hilde had created was enough to allow him entrance and he felt the need to look back at her. The girl couldn't have been much older than him, yet she was ready to die for what she believed in. Changing sides, she was the reason he had access to the Lunar base, and he was certain she understood him. That made her as bad as him, and he felt sorry for her.
* * *
//Some say it's lunacy//
The television screen cast odd lights over him, filling the darkened room and Duo's eyes were glued to the girl. The self-proclaimed Queen of the World was addressing her public, her speech a plea for peace and disarmament. His stomach hurt at her words, the sight of such naiveté was sickening and he knew the other pilots would agree with him. If peace were so easy, the war would never have begun.
* * *
//But luckily I've been movin' on,//
There was a scowl on the boy's face and he watched it, his eyes following capable hands as Heero worked to fix his suit. He didn't like him. That much was established in his mind, but he also knew the boy had an allure, a pure animalistic magnetism that drew him in. Duo had no reason to deny what he felt. He was attracted to him with an intensity that no girl had ever caused.
* * *
//I ignore you, sorry if I bore you//
Duo could feel the presence behind him, but he didn't turn. The couch was soft against his back, and he fought his body's instinct to tense, watching the television with an interested expression. Three more minutes passed before Heero finally lost his patience.
"What is wrong with you?"
The question implied concern, but he could hear the anger in the boy's voice, and he turned ever so slowly. His eyes moved over Heero's face, pausing on his clenched fists, then he turned to the television again. Folding his arms over his chest, he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
* * *
//I neglect you//
The door made absolutely no sound when he opened it, but he wasn't trying to keep quiet. He wasn't hiding, or sneaking, and he shut the door behind him, turning the lock. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders, turning him, but he wasn't startled and he met Heero's furious gaze easily.
"Where were you?" Heero asked, his glare intensifying when Duo raised an eyebrow.
"Out," Duo murmured, smirking at the boy. It was a stupid question. If Heero had wanted to know where he'd gone, the boy could easily have followed him. Holding the Japanese pilot's gaze, he raised his hands and lifted Heero's away from his shoulders. The boy blinked, but he sidestepped him and walked to the stairs, a hot gaze following him as he went to their room.
//Don't mean to disrespect you//
His lover didn't follow him, but he hadn't expected him to and Duo climbed into the bed alone. He was hovering on the brink of depression, but he didn't expect to fall. Anger was a saving grace and he turned his mind to Heero. The idiot simply didn't get it, not at all. He should have been thanking him, grateful that he'd been given that space he'd wanted. The boy wanted to be alone, he'd said so before and all he'd done was give him a taste of what that was like.
//Don't you see?//
Duo's hands curled around the blanket, clenching as he glared at the shadowed ceiling. As expected, anger was finding its way in and he did nothing to fight it. Heero was wrong. It wasn't fair for the boy to be angry with him, he didn't have a right to be angry over anything *he* did. He couldn't understand why the boy refused to make things easier. If he'd just tell him what it was that he wanted. But he never did.
* * *
//I love you dearly, and that sincerely
But you annoy me//
Strong arms pulled him in and Duo tilted his head, matching the boy's passion as they kissed. Hands played over his back for a moment before Heero's hold relaxed and he opened his eyes, smiling at the boy's bright eyes. He raised an arm and brushed back the boy's unruly bangs. Then he took a breath, his expression growing determined. Heero raised an eyebrow, and he gripped the boy's arm, not willing to take the chance of him leaving before he could finish. "Heero, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now." The boy's eyes changed before the words were out of his mouth and he tightened his grip. Heero looked almost skittish.
The phone rang, and Duo cursed at the shrill call. Heero jerked away despite his attempt to hold him, and he glared, following the boy downstairs. The conversation was quick enough, but the former pilot didn't look at him when he hung up.
"They're back," Heero said quickly, moving toward the closet near the door. He had his keys in hand and was swinging on his jacket by the time Duo reached him and he frowned at the violet-eyed glare.
"Can't it wait?" Duo asked, grinding his teeth in frustration.
"I have to pick them up from the airport," Heero said, his eyes flitting away. "I'll be back."
Duo watched him and he didn't move until the door had shut. He hadn't even suggested they go together, his desperation to postpone Duo's confession obvious to him. The sound of Heero's truck starting was what broke him form his paralysis and he slammed his fist against the door suddenly, an oath breaking the silence. "Damn you!"
* * *
//You can't avoid me//
Heero entered alone, and Duo raised an eyebrow over Trowa and Quatre's absence. Then his eye twitched when the boy flinched upon catching sight of him as if he was still afraid to hear what he had to say. "Where are they, Heero?"
"We're going out to eat," Heero said quickly, passing the boy. "Quatre's driving, they're in the car. We should hurry and get ready."
Duo didn't argue with him as he followed. His anger was gone, replaced by an age-old patience that he never thought he had. Heero may not have been ready for declarations, but he was. One way or another, he fully intended to tell him. Then he would demand a response. Heero thought he could avoid him, but it was only a matter of time. He'd wait.
//I'm here to stay, forever, and ever
And a day, that's never//
There was plenty of time because he wasn't going anywhere. Whether the taciturn boy wanted to or not, eventually he'd have no choice but to listen.
* * *
//I can't let you go//
He'd never had luggage before; a duffle bag could have held everything he owned. But they'd gone on trips, and he now had enough clothing alone to fill a suitcase. The room looked odd, the boxes and cases piled in the center of the room, and Duo's eyes caressed the bed. He wanted to see him one more time. But he knew; he knew very well that if he did, he'd never be able to go.
//I can't forget it
Why you did it?//
The telephone call had shattered everything. She hadn't played a part in their life for so long that he'd nearly forgotten about her, but Heero obviously hadn't. Relena had called, and Heero had jumped to go to her. If the boy had taken the time and consideration to explain why he was going, things might have been different. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd gotten angry with him for even asking what the girl wanted. He couldn't forgive that.
//I won' t permit it, I won't acquit it//
Heero thought he would accept the angry rebuttal. As if he had no right to question him. As if he would be there, waiting for him to get back from seeing to his princess's needs. It was bullshit. He'd taken too much, he knew he had and it couldn't go on any longer. He wouldn't take any more of it.
//I want to fight you, I'll fuckin' bite you//
It took minutes to load the luggage into the back of his jeep, but he made one last trip to their room. His target was sitting in its place of distinction on Heero's desk and he stared at it, amazed at his lack of anger. Destroying the laptop would serve nothing, not even as a release for the anger he had. It was nothing more than a piece of technology, easily replaced. He couldn't hurt either Heero or Relena by smashing the thing. He knew that now. Nothing he did hurt Heero, either physically or emotionally. He didn't matter enough to be able to hurt him, even by his leaving.
//Can't stand nobody like you//
As if he were dying, memories flashed before his eyes, the house unseen even as he moved through it. Heero had kissed him, just last night and he could still feel the soft lips on his. He had felt such peace in the boy's embrace, but reality came harsh and he knew he'd placed more in the gesture than was actually there. Cold words were recalled when he passed the telephone, Heero glaring at him and telling him it was none of his business why he was leaving. The door had slammed shut. Heero never slammed the door before. He was a hypocrite. He'd played with him, the sweet lover at night and then cold with the reintroduction of the girl into their life together. He had no care for his feelings at all.
//You can't run; you can't hide//
It almost made a sad sort of sense to him, Heero and Relena. She'd chased him relentlessly. His own pursuit of the boy had seemed as heartfelt, and he'd done his best to tie Heero to him. But he knew it wasn't enough. Heero had run from them both, but she had caught him. Now, it was his turn to run. Only in his case, nobody would chase after him.
//No surprise, close your eyes//
His gaze swept over the large house and a small smile graced his face. He'd been so angry when they'd moved into the place. Angry at Quatre for having invited them without speaking to him first, it had taken him time to see it for the treasure it was. Now he thought of the manor as home and the smile turned wistful. He climbed into the small jeep, shutting the door and turning his eyes forward. He should have known it would end like this. The smile stayed when he bowed his head, his words drowned out by the engine as he stared the jeep. "I love you Heero."
* * *
//Come with me
Come with me
Come with me//
* * *
//Hear my cries; hear my calls
Lend me your ears...//
"What are you waiting for?!" His scream was so loud in his ears, he couldn't understand why the boy didn't hear him. He was falling, and Duo turned his head, unwilling to see him hit the ground. Then a cry rang out. A girl was leaning through the hole he'd made in the wall and Duo's eyes flew to her for an instant before snapping to the boy below him. Heero pulled the cord.
* * *
//Hear my cries; hear my calls
Lend me your ears...//
Duo's voice trailed off, and he blinked at the boy seated beside him. Heero's eyes were closed and he was leaning against the seat, his soft breathing signaling his state. "You should have said you wanted to sleep," Duo murmured quietly. It was just like him, never paying any attention. He reminded himself that the boy must have been tired, and he shoved down the feelings that clamored up, wiping the hurt frown from his face.
* * *
//Hear my cries, hear my calls
Lend me your ears//
The long driveway that led from the house seemed longer now and Duo's mind wandered away from the paved road before him. "Will you wonder, Heero?" His voice was quiet, he couldn't hear it over the jeep's engine. "I don't know. Will you ever wonder where I went? What happened to me? Will you even care...?"
//See my fall//
His eyes shifted to the rearview mirror, burning when he saw that the house was out of sight. He hadn't reached the main road yet, but already he felt his new loneliness. He was completely alone now.
//See my errors; know my faults//
It was pathetic, how badly it hurt. As much as he'd love it to be differently he knew he'd never be able to replace Heero in his heart. He couldn't change that.
//Time halts//
Reaching the highway, he sighed and increased the pressure on the accelerator. There was no reason to hesitate. He was thinking this when his world crashed down around him and his throat closed. The dark blue truck never so much as slowed, passing by him, but his eyes were frozen and his head snapped to the side, following him. Heero didn't even glance in his direction. His vision grew foggy and he jerked the jeep to the side. Pulling off the road, he gasped roughly, fighting the burn.
//See my loss//
"Heero..." The whisper broke with a low cry and he buried his face in his hands. He couldn't fight them any longer.
* * *
//Know I'm lacking//
His face felt cold, every part of him was frozen. Then his hands curled into fists and he shoved back out of the chair. Heero's eyes moved over the room, the barren walls, the open, empty drawers, the carefully made bed. He had no sense of moving but his fingers brushed the soft quilt. A harsh breath escaped his clenched teeth and he whirled, lunging across the room. The laptop cracked against the wall, the room empty by the time it hit the carpet.
//Backtracking//
He couldn't even pretend he didn't understand the message, that was the worst part. It would have been so easy to act as if he didn't know why, but he did. His mind was so quick to tell him. He thought of one of their first encounters, before the disastrous death of General Noventa. The boy had smiled at him, not the least bit worried that he'd held a gun on him and he'd said to trust him. And he had. He did. He'd always trusted Duo. It was himself he didn't trust.
//Where I met you//
He'd never understood him. Before he even knew his name, Duo had drawn him in. After rescuing him from the hospital the boy had ignored his cold treatment, his smiles given for free. Without requiring anything in return he'd offered his help, and he'd confused him from the very beginning.
//Pistol packing
Itchy finger, trigger happy//
There was only one thing he'd never doubted. Duo didn't need him. He never had. Even after the year of peace, the boy had leapt back into his role as a pilot. Sneaking into the colony, Duo had been right there, risking his life for a girl he hated, determined to protect everyone. He didn't need help, and Heero's worries had seemed uncalled. But he hadn't been able to hide his worry completely, and he wondered if Duo had paid his advice any attention at all. The boy would never cut loose, even if he were outnumbered. It wasn't in him.
//Try to trap me, beat the rap//
He reached his truck, but he didn't hear the door shut. Instead, he remembered the soft way Duo had spoken just nights before. He'd been about to say something very important and Heero had panicked. The thought that the boy might actually love him was too much as he knew he could *never* live up to that. Leaping at the chance of escape, he hadn't expected the boy to be waiting when he got back from the airport. But Duo had been there, and he was cold, he hadn't wanted to hear it. The very suspicion that the boy might love him was too much.
//Why you tap me//
Swallowing sharply, Heero moved the truck out of the spot he'd parked in and his hand touched his cheek. Just last night Duo had kissed him there, so softly. He'd feigned sleep, but he remembered the light touch in his hair, those lips brushing his skin. He didn't need words to understand the kindness, the emotion behind that gentle display. His foot shoved down on the gas and the truck leapt forward with a lurch.
//Back stab me,
Break the faith//
The boy's stricken expression had torn at him, and he almost regretted his cruel words. He'd been so angry that Duo felt the need to question him. It was as if he thought his going to see Relena meant he was cheating on him. His cruelty had seemed deserved at the time, and he was still angry that Duo thought so little of him. Now he knew better. He didn't blame him at all.
//Fall from grace//
The curving drive faded before him and Heero flinched away from the image. They'd made love last night, and he could still see Duo's face as he'd moaned his name. He was so beautiful, yet he'd called out *his* name. It had bothered him that he never knew why, but now he didn't care. He'd lost him.
//Tell me lies//
He'd tricked him, manipulated the boy into coming with him. He could still remember the hospital, lying there and feeling Duo's gaze on him. The boy had planned that visit to be his goodbye and Heero hadn't been willing to let him go. He could almost feel Duo, holding his hand, that soft voice whispering that he'd stay. He wouldn't leave him and he'd always be there for him. Glaring at the road, Heero didn't know who he was more furious with, himself for having driven the boy away...or Duo for having lied. He knew he had no right to be angry with Duo, but he was.
//Time flies//
Slowing the truck, he turned onto the highway, not sure which way to go. Then his eyes latched onto a black jeep not far down the road and he stared in blatant disbelief.
//Close your eyes//
Heero could barely make out the boy, he was slumped over the steering wheel. His eyes were on fire for a moment, then they narrowed into slits and he shoved on the gas. The distance between them disappeared and he pulled off the road behind the small vehicle. Duo turned a pale face back at him and Heero nearly jumped out of the truck, running. The boy had thrown the clutch by the time he reached him, but he wasn't quick enough. Catching hold of the keys, he jerked them out of the ignition, the engine dying.
//Come with me//
"Where do you think you're going?"
The boy's low voiced question was too much and Duo glared at him. His eyes were red and damp but they more than portrayed his fury.
//Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me//
//I'm gonna take you with me//
"Did you think you could just leave?" Heero asked, his voice not betraying his feelings. "Without saying a word? I won't let you go."
//I wanna fight you//
He could feel his resistance crumbling. It would be so easy to let Heero drag him home, but he knew he could never live like that. He wouldn't live like that. With a cold glare, he shoved open the jeep's door and thrust a hand at the dark-haired boy. "Keys. Now."
Catching the boy's arm, Heero shook his head. "No, Duo. I'm not letting you go."
"It isn't up to you!" Duo cried, jerking at his wrist. "You don't need me, you have your damn princess. Just leave me alone, Heero. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all of it."
His grip tightened and he shook his head again. "I can't let you go."
//I'll fuckin' bite you//
Duo pulled on his arm again, but he knew he couldn't break the boy's hold. Instead, he curled his left hand into a fist and hit him. He didn't dodge and Duo's eyes widened. His wrist was caught and he was pulled forward, Heero's face turning back so the dark mark beneath his eye was visible. He could feel the boy's heart, and for a moment he marveled that it beat faster than his own. "Let me go, Heero. I'll hurt you. I'm not playing, I just want to leave."
He didn't know what to do. He could see the pain in those expressive eyes, but he knew Duo couldn't hate him. He couldn't believe the boy hated him. Still holding the boy close, he tried to kiss him. They'd always been able to express their feelings through action, but he pulled back as the boy growled. Tasting the blood on his lip, he stared at him.
//Can't stand nobody like you//
Heero looked lost and Duo almost regretted his cruel reaction. He didn't want the boy to be unhappy, didn't want to be the one who hurt him. No matter how much he suffered, he couldn't stand the confusion in those eyes. But he didn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life, either. It was insane, Heero treated him as if he didn't care and yet here he was, wanting to wipe the hurt from his face. He felt needed, yet he knew the moment he went back he would be treated the same as always.
//You can't run//
The boy was fighting himself; he could see it. "Duo, don't go. Please? I need you to stay." Duo's eyes narrowed at his words and his heart sank.
"You don't need me," Duo muttered, his voice derogatory. "You won't talk to me, ever. You're never kind. Hell, Heero. You treat Quatre better than you do me. You're killing me and I can't live like this." His expression was clear, and he felt as if he was reminding himself more than telling it to the boy in front of him.
Heero didn't know what to say. He knew he couldn't argue with the accusations, all except the first was completely true. But the first one was wrong, very wrong. "I can't let you run away from me," he whispered. "I can't let go, Duo, I can't."
//You can't hide//
"Even if you did get away, I'd find you, Duo. I would search until I found you."
"Why?" The boy sounded so sincere, but it made no sense. "Why bother?"
//No surprise//
Heero released the boy's hands, his own rising so he could cup Duo's face and he leaned close. His voice faltered once, but he kept his eyes on the violet ones that watched him. "Because I do, Duo." The boy shook his head and he cleared his throat. "Because I love you."
//Close your eyes//
The longhaired boy shook his head and he moved his hands, pulling him close. Those violet eyes shimmered then long lashes hid them and Heero kissed him gently.
//Come with me!//
Duo's arms slowly curved around him and Heero kissed him fervently. A small sound reached him, resembling a sob and he knew it was his. Clutching the boy, he gripped Duo's hair with desperation, unwilling to break the embrace.
//I'm gonna take you with me//
Finally he couldn't fight his need for oxygen and Heero pulled back. "I won't hurt you again," he whispered, his eyes boring into Duo's. "Never. As long as you don't leave. I promise I won't."
Duo dropped his eyes, hating his weakness. "You're using my love against me."
"I know," Heero said softly. Bending, he picked the boy up and carried him to his truck. "I know I am."
//I'm here to stay//
He placed the boy in the passenger seat before climbing in himself. Neither spoke as he started the truck, backing up. Then he looked at Duo and the sheer hopelessness of the boy's posture made him pause. "I wasn't lying, Duo. I will...cherish...you." The boy blinked, giving a small smile as if he knew how hard it was to use that word. "You'll have to help me, though. I don't know...I don't know how to be vulnerable, Duo."
"I do," Duo whispered, dropping his eyes. His arms tightened around himself and he glanced out the window. "I've been vulnerable since we met."
The boy's words hurt and Heero stared at him.
//Forever//
"I'm sorry. I took...and I never gave back. But I'll make it up to you, Duo. Even if it takes the rest of my life."
//And ever,
And a day//
His hand shook as he reached out to Duo, and he brushed his knuckles over the boy's cheek. "Because I love you. And I'll do anything to keep you."
//That's never//
"If you'll just give me the chance..."
Shaking his head, Duo tore his gaze away. "I don't have a choice in it, Heero. I never wanted to leave. I...I probably would have come crawling back eventually." His heart wanted to soar, but he couldn't deny how much he hated himself for not being able to fight the boy. It was sad, that Heero could win him so easily.
//Come with me//
"Don't," Heero said sharply. Leaning over, he kissed the boy. "You never would have gotten the chance to come back, Duo. Because I would have gone to get you long before then. I don't want to live even a day without you in my life."
A slow smile made its way to his face and Duo closed his eyes. "Let's go home."
//Come with me...//
--Owari--
Category: Yaoi, Gundam Wing, TWT, Song-fic
Warnings: shonen ai, minor angst, sap, possible OOC
Pairings: 2+1/1+2, 1x2
Author: Arigatomina
Email: arigatoumina@hotmail.com
Complete Archive: www.geocities.com/arigatomina
Come With Me
He didn't hesitate, snatching the small disc from the table without a single word. It was hard to believe, that the boy might have left without any warning, but he'd known the moment he spotted the empty parking spot. The empty drawers spoke volumes when Heero reached their room, and he slid into the chair in front of his desk. There was nothing on his face, no hint of expression, but he held the small circular disc ever so carefully, slipping it into his laptop. Then he set himself down, his complete attention on what played; it was the only note Duo had left behind.
* * *
//Hear my cries, hear my calls,
Lend me your ears//
Pausing in the doorway, Duo swallowed, his throat so dry his tongue felt as if it were plastered to the roof of his mouth. The boy didn't even glance back at him, not at all encouraging. But then, he hadn't expected any help, he'd taken a leap of faith that what he was about to say wouldn't result in heartache. Anything was better than staying silent.
"Heero? Can I talk to you?"
No response came from the Japanese pilot, and he stepped into the room, heart pounding in his chest. "It won't take long," he said softly, his eyes moving over the glowing screen of the laptop. There was a message coming in and he gritted his teeth and rushed forward till he stood behind the boy's chair. "Heero, about last night." The boy's shoulders tensed visibly, and Duo held his breath for a moment before continuing. "I think...I..."
Heero stood suddenly, pushing his chair back and making the boy behind him jump. "Mission."
"Heero!" He was gone by the time he got the name past his lips. "Wait..."
* * *
//See my fall//
He woke suddenly, a hand curling around the gun he kept tucked beneath his pillow. Without a sound, he sat up and aimed it at the doorway. Then he froze when he saw who it was, calmed a bit by the time the boy reached his bed. "Heero? What's wrong?"
Not speaking, Heero plucked the gun away, setting it firmly on the small stand beside Duo's bed. Then he grabbed the boy's shoulders and pressed their lips together
//See my error; know my faults//
"What...why?" Blinking rapidly, Duo held the boy away from him, staring into intense eyes. "Heero, where did this *come* from?"
"Lust is a distraction, don't pretend. I've seen the looks you give me. If we have sex, we won't have to lust anymore."
The cold words made him cringe inwardly, and he opened his mouth to argue. But Heero's glare caused him to pause, especially since it looked as if he were about to speak again. It wasn't often that the boy took the time to talk to him. And the fact that they were so close to having sex made his longing for the boy scream at him to shut up.
"We can do this," Heero said harshly, his muscles tense. "Or I can leave now."
"No...don't leave..."
* * *
//Time halts; see my loss//
Duo held to him, his arms gripping that slender waist as he pressed his face into Heero's neck. His body was still strumming, an achy warmth filling him with content. Then the boy moved, the arms unwrapping from around him. He knew the moment Heero sat up what was going to happen, and it twisted his heart, tearing at him. "You could stay here," he offered, but his voice was dull.
"There's no reason to."
* * *
//Know I'm lacking//
The bruises hurt, every inch of him as if they'd placed him under a steamroller. He could tell from the pain in his chest that some of his ribs were bruised, one nearly broken. But he hadn't told them anything, not a single detail that might help OZ find the other pilots. All he'd given them was his contempt, and Duo smirked wryly, picking himself up from the floor of the cell. Tearing the bandage off his nose, he leaned against the wall, his every breath strained. He'd messed up badly, getting caught so soon. The first thing that had run through his mind when he'd woken in custody was that Heero would never have been caught that easily.
Remembering, he closed his eyes with a pain that wasn't physical in origin. Then the sound reached him, the door opening and he looked up. The perfect soldier had come to correct his mistake.
//Backtracking, where I met you//
Even as he stared at the light-shrouded figure, a similar image grew in his mind. He looked the same, the stance; the dark intensity in those narrowed eyes. Only this time, Duo didn't have a gun to shoot him with, nothing to catch him off guard. And it was *his* life that was at stake now.
//Pistol packing
Itchy finger, trigger-happy//
"Are you going to kill me, Heero?" The words came out well, an almost detached tint to them that made him proud. "I guess if I'm going to die, I'd rather it be you." No hint of emotion, no softening in those eyes, and he closed his own eyes, feigning a readiness for his death. He thought the boy would stop, that he wouldn't do it. He had to believe that he wouldn't be able to go through with it. Unless what he felt was truly one-sided.
//Try to trap me, beat the rap//
There was a click as the hammer was drawn back and Duo's eyes flew open in absolute shock. "You're really going to kill me, aren't you."
"If you want me to."
* * *
//Why you tap me?//
"I've already enrolled, under your name."
The boy's words echoed repeatedly in his mind. He tried to think of a reason for Heero to have done such a thing and came up with nothing. Suppressing his hope had become natural, but he gave in now, and he remembered the careless way the information had been tossed over the boy's shoulder. Heero had used his name, for his own reasons. If that didn't have meaning, Duo didn't know what did. It was almost enough to make him resigned to healing while the Japanese pilot made his infiltration into the Lunar base.
* * *
//Backstab me//
His eyes burnt, not from staring at his hands without blinking, but from the angry fire that raged inside him. Heero was gone. If he thought the boy's intentions were merely to rescue Relena, he would have wished him luck. But that wasn't it; he knew it wasn't. He'd left without telling him, not a single word. Quatre had been the one to tell him where the pilot had gone and the implications of that were clear. He'd left, to save *her*, and he hadn't said a word beforehand.
* * *
//Break the faith, fall from grace
Tell me lies//
Minutes passed before Duo realized the boy holding him wasn't going to leave. Their encounters had grown more frequent since the battles with Libra. Now Heero was lying beside him, and he marveled at the easiness of his expression, almost soft. But those dark blue eyes were closed. "Heero?" The boy didn't move, but he knew he was listening, he could hear him. They were mere inches apart so there wasn't any way he could *not* hear him. "You've been so quiet. I mean...more than usual. What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
Still, the boy didn't look at him, and Duo sighed, laying his head on the pillow. "If something *was* wrong...you'd tell me, right?"
"Yes. Now go to sleep or I'll go to my own bed."
//Time flies
Close your eyes; come with me//
"Just one more thing," Duo whispered, staring intently. "It's easier, Heero, if you let me in. It's so much harder alone..."
* * *
//Come with me
Come with me//
* * *
//You said to trust you; you'd never hurt me//
The others had gone their own ways, but he'd followed Wing Zero to the nearest colony. With the new alliance between space and earth, there was no reason to hide and he left Deathscythe Hell, running to the battered suit. The cockpit opened with a hiss, the white metal blackened and he watched as Heero climbed down. For a moment, they looked at each other, then Duo ran forward, his arms holding the boy to him.
"Reckless, Heero. I was sure you'd die, but you didn't." Strong arms rose and he sighed, leaning against the Japanese pilot. "You were great, but you knew that."
"You should have had faith in me," Heero said, his voice low. "I went out there to keep the block from falling on the earth, not to die."
"I know," Duo murmured, relishing in Heero's easy embrace of him.
"The war's over now...no more pain."
"Yeah..."
* * *
//Now I'm disgusted, since been adjusted//
He watched as Heero stood suddenly, his jacket thrown over one shoulder. The boy had reached the door before Duo could even ask where he was going.
"Relena has been kidnapped."
Those words were delivered in a rushed tone, and his mocking smile hurt as he tried to play off his hurt. He could pretend all he wanted, could remind himself that Heero had told him he didn't love the girl. But Duo knew it was stupid to believe that, and it didn't matter anyway. Heero didn't love him either.
* * *
//Suddenly you fooled me, ridiculed me//
"If things get too heavy, fall back."
Those words tore at him, and he leaned over the controls, throwing his anger into preparation for the battle ahead. Heero had absolutely no faith in him, obviously, expecting him to cut loose at the first sign of danger. He was a Gundam pilot, but that didn't seem to be enough. Duo knew the real reason Heero expected him to pull out, because he wasn't fighting to save Relena the way the Japanese pilot was. The boy knew, he was there to keep Heero alive and to prevent the colony from falling on the earth. Heero was there to rescue his princess.
* * *
//Left me hangin'//
He lay still on the cold floor, his mind centering on the pain in his stomach rather than the one in his heart. The blows didn't matter, Heero had done what was necessary to allow one of them escape. That wasn't it. It was the fact that once again, just like before, he'd left him alone as he went on his own to save that girl. Always that girl.
//My shit's boomerangin'
Right back at you, pistol range//
Pushing himself to his knees, Duo opened his eyes, glaring at the dark wall across from him. There was no excuse for his feelings; he was stronger than that. The Japanese boy was so callous to him, using him for whatever reasons and he always known that. This was just one more blow, one more proof that the boy didn't care about him at all. Fury raged through him, but he hid it, his fingers flying to the picks in his hair. Heero wanted to rescue Relena, but Duo had more important things to take care of; he had a rebellion to wipe out.
* * *
//Narrow minded, left me blinded//
"I wasn't waiting for you," Trowa said coldly, not looking over his shoulder at the American.
Despite his flippant words, Duo was not at all surprised to hear that. Like Heero, the tall boy had no faith in him. And suddenly, he didn't blame either of them. He was a fool and he knew it. Watching Trowa's back, he thought of the questionable relationship he and Heero shared, and he knew the fact that he called it a relationship was only more proof of his idiocy. The word implied something two-sided, and they didn't have that. Whether the boy loved her or not, Relena obviously held more power over the boy than he ever would, and it was much more appropriate. Society would have agreed.
//I cosigned it, shit that fine
But I don't sink back//
He joked when Sally joined them, but inside he was growing cold. He'd finish it, stop the rebels and help his partner rescue Relena. Then, when it was over, he'd leave them all behind him. There was no excuse for putting up with the pain and the abuse, the lack of caring. If it hurt him, then he had no one to blame but himself for having put up with it for so long. But no more, he wouldn't take it anymore.
//I'm grinded, I mean with air pressure//
Curt words echoed in his mind, cold blue eyes, even after a night of shared passion bore into his soul. He'd thought the end of the war would have made things better, but the boy had turned back. All of the progress they'd made had disappeared, those hints of softening he'd seen wiped away. But he was stronger for it, and he decided then that he owed the boy more than he'd ever say. By treating him the way he had, Heero had shaped him, prepared him for the rest of his life. He'd learned his lesson.
* * *
//You comprehend me?
You want to end me//
Duo didn't want to go into the room, but Quatre would never have understood why he would be willing to abandon their comrade. As it was, the sight of Heero's body tore at him, and he moved to stand beside him without even thinking about it. Relena had checked him in, and Duo reminded himself of this after Quatre so kindly left them alone. He had to remind himself that the boy in front of him wasn't as vulnerable as he looked with the white sheet pulled up to his shoulders, his hands limp against the cloth. This wasn't the young boy it seemed to be, it was Heero.
A sad smile curved his lips and he brushed his fingers over the boy's right hand, just once before turning away. But his exit was halted, and he looked back, confused that the boy's eyes were still closed. The hand holding his was strong, but he was torn between that strength and the implied need of the sleeping boy. Then Heero squeezed his hand, holding tight as if to stop him from going and he sank to his knees beside the bed. His decisions were dropped as quickly, and he couldn't deny how wonderful it was to feel needed, the thought that there might still be hope for them.
* * *
//You offend me//
The boy looked much better, and Duo was seated beside his bed, keeping him company as usual. It wouldn't be long before Heero was recovered enough to leave the hospital, and he'd been thinking of the future. "I just don't know," he murmured, Heero watching him. "We could go anywhere."
"Quatre asked if I would move in with him, Trowa is doing the same."
Duo blinked sharply, surprised when Heero looked away from him. "What?"
"I told him I would, there's no reason not to."
Heero still wasn't looking at him, and Duo's teeth clenched. Quatre was great, and he wouldn't have minded the thought of them staying with the boy, but Heero hadn't said *they* would move in, he'd said that *he* planned to. The implication wasn't lost on him, and he glared in outrage. But the boy either didn't notice, or didn't care. He never did.
* * *
//Trauma, feel the trauma//
Setting the last box on the floor of their room, Duo knelt and ripped off the tape. He was almost done with the unpacking, and he had to admit, the room was comfortable. It was when he threw back the lid that he froze, and he stared at the dark plastic. His hands moved of their own accord, and he lifted the laptop, staring at it with incomprehension. Heero had promised him, he'd sworn that he would throw it away. There was no need for it any longer and it symbolized the war in a way the Gundams never had for Duo.
His head jerked when he heard the door open, and he turned, staring at Heero's closed expression. He knew his confusion must have shown on his face, but the boy wasn't looking at him. Then Heero walked to him, and jerked it out of his hands without a word.
//Come with me//
He couldn't speak, and he watched as the boy set the small computer on the desk, his motions the same as if nothing had changed. And nothing had. Heero was still shutting him out, unable to rid himself of that outlet he was so attached to and the silence hurt more than the betrayal.
* * *
//Come with me
Don't be afraid
Come with me//
* * *
//I close my eyes...and I see...
You...standing there...//
Cool air reached him, and he opened his eyes, his hand smoothing over the empty space beside him. The room was dark, and Duo sat up silently, his eyes moving around the room and freezing on the door to the balcony. The boy's back was to him, and he was reminded of how badly things were between them. He was completely isolated, even when they were together Heero refused to let him in.
//I cry...
Tears...of sorrow...//
"Heero..." Pausing in the doorway, he winced at the way his voice shook, his whisper sounding so pathetic it hurt to hear.
"Go back to sleep," Heero said sharply, not so much as glancing over his shoulder. "I want to be alone."
//I die...//
He felt as if he'd been struck, but his eyes were dry when he closed them, turning away. The silence burned, and he went to the bed, not looking back.
* * *
//Fought my enemies, fought my foes
Damn these hoes//
The steps were cool beneath his hands, and Duo's eyes swept out over the green lawn. The others were inside, but the back porch was quiet, and he needed that, he needed to think. He wasn't passive, and he could tell that his stubbornness was leading him to destruction. There had to be a reason, he had convinced himself of that months before, and he wondered if it were true. During the war, they'd had a bond, one of mutual intent. They'd felt the same, the need to fight, the hatred for those seeking to oppress them, the lust for battle as an escape.
//You're steppin' on my toes//
Heero had been just as distant then, and he'd never thought twice about it. He'd understood that the boy refused to be distracted by anything; nothing could be allowed to hinder him from completing his missions. Duo understood that, and he had respected the boy for his dedication. Their missions had been important.
//Back up off me, get your hands off me//
Even when the coldness reached the point of blatant disregard, he hadn't been complained. He could remember one instance when the boy had shrugged his arm away and while it had hurt, he still hadn't faulted him. During the war, there'd been no room for emotional ties. But things were supposed to be different now, peace was supposed to heal them.
//Give me room to breathe//
He'd been debating for weeks, and he wondered if the boy would ever be able to get used to having someone there. If he left for a while, he would know for sure and he thought that maybe Heero needed the space; he seemed to want it. But he didn't think he could do that, it hurt too much and he was afraid that if he left, he wouldn't come back. If he went away, Heero might not want him to come back.
//I'm not hearin' it, I'm not fearin' it
I'm up to my ears in it, bullshit//
Duo sighed, shrugging off his thoughts roughly. He couldn't forget the way the boy had spoken after the war, the way he'd held him in the hospital. Heero wanted him there, he had to. It was up to him to convince the boy of this, and he knew he wasn't ready to give up on breaking through to the boy beneath the cold exterior. He wasn't willing to give up on the dream.
* * *
//I'm destructive//
The green scythe curved down, metal turning red before melting beneath the blow as it was split. Even as he knelt, he brought the back of the staff up, stabbing it into the face of the mobile suit behind him. His heart was racing in his chest, and a cruel smile curved his lips as he scanned the battlefield for his next target. For a moment, he caught sight of Heero's Gundam not too far away. He smirked, satisfied to see the boy fighting just as hard, if without his own enthusiasm.
* * *
//Some women think that's seductive//
The suit was a mess, but Duo crashed into the door, plowing through it. The hole Hilde had created was enough to allow him entrance and he felt the need to look back at her. The girl couldn't have been much older than him, yet she was ready to die for what she believed in. Changing sides, she was the reason he had access to the Lunar base, and he was certain she understood him. That made her as bad as him, and he felt sorry for her.
* * *
//Some say it's lunacy//
The television screen cast odd lights over him, filling the darkened room and Duo's eyes were glued to the girl. The self-proclaimed Queen of the World was addressing her public, her speech a plea for peace and disarmament. His stomach hurt at her words, the sight of such naiveté was sickening and he knew the other pilots would agree with him. If peace were so easy, the war would never have begun.
* * *
//But luckily I've been movin' on,//
There was a scowl on the boy's face and he watched it, his eyes following capable hands as Heero worked to fix his suit. He didn't like him. That much was established in his mind, but he also knew the boy had an allure, a pure animalistic magnetism that drew him in. Duo had no reason to deny what he felt. He was attracted to him with an intensity that no girl had ever caused.
* * *
//I ignore you, sorry if I bore you//
Duo could feel the presence behind him, but he didn't turn. The couch was soft against his back, and he fought his body's instinct to tense, watching the television with an interested expression. Three more minutes passed before Heero finally lost his patience.
"What is wrong with you?"
The question implied concern, but he could hear the anger in the boy's voice, and he turned ever so slowly. His eyes moved over Heero's face, pausing on his clenched fists, then he turned to the television again. Folding his arms over his chest, he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
* * *
//I neglect you//
The door made absolutely no sound when he opened it, but he wasn't trying to keep quiet. He wasn't hiding, or sneaking, and he shut the door behind him, turning the lock. Strong hands grabbed his shoulders, turning him, but he wasn't startled and he met Heero's furious gaze easily.
"Where were you?" Heero asked, his glare intensifying when Duo raised an eyebrow.
"Out," Duo murmured, smirking at the boy. It was a stupid question. If Heero had wanted to know where he'd gone, the boy could easily have followed him. Holding the Japanese pilot's gaze, he raised his hands and lifted Heero's away from his shoulders. The boy blinked, but he sidestepped him and walked to the stairs, a hot gaze following him as he went to their room.
//Don't mean to disrespect you//
His lover didn't follow him, but he hadn't expected him to and Duo climbed into the bed alone. He was hovering on the brink of depression, but he didn't expect to fall. Anger was a saving grace and he turned his mind to Heero. The idiot simply didn't get it, not at all. He should have been thanking him, grateful that he'd been given that space he'd wanted. The boy wanted to be alone, he'd said so before and all he'd done was give him a taste of what that was like.
//Don't you see?//
Duo's hands curled around the blanket, clenching as he glared at the shadowed ceiling. As expected, anger was finding its way in and he did nothing to fight it. Heero was wrong. It wasn't fair for the boy to be angry with him, he didn't have a right to be angry over anything *he* did. He couldn't understand why the boy refused to make things easier. If he'd just tell him what it was that he wanted. But he never did.
* * *
//I love you dearly, and that sincerely
But you annoy me//
Strong arms pulled him in and Duo tilted his head, matching the boy's passion as they kissed. Hands played over his back for a moment before Heero's hold relaxed and he opened his eyes, smiling at the boy's bright eyes. He raised an arm and brushed back the boy's unruly bangs. Then he took a breath, his expression growing determined. Heero raised an eyebrow, and he gripped the boy's arm, not willing to take the chance of him leaving before he could finish. "Heero, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time now." The boy's eyes changed before the words were out of his mouth and he tightened his grip. Heero looked almost skittish.
The phone rang, and Duo cursed at the shrill call. Heero jerked away despite his attempt to hold him, and he glared, following the boy downstairs. The conversation was quick enough, but the former pilot didn't look at him when he hung up.
"They're back," Heero said quickly, moving toward the closet near the door. He had his keys in hand and was swinging on his jacket by the time Duo reached him and he frowned at the violet-eyed glare.
"Can't it wait?" Duo asked, grinding his teeth in frustration.
"I have to pick them up from the airport," Heero said, his eyes flitting away. "I'll be back."
Duo watched him and he didn't move until the door had shut. He hadn't even suggested they go together, his desperation to postpone Duo's confession obvious to him. The sound of Heero's truck starting was what broke him form his paralysis and he slammed his fist against the door suddenly, an oath breaking the silence. "Damn you!"
* * *
//You can't avoid me//
Heero entered alone, and Duo raised an eyebrow over Trowa and Quatre's absence. Then his eye twitched when the boy flinched upon catching sight of him as if he was still afraid to hear what he had to say. "Where are they, Heero?"
"We're going out to eat," Heero said quickly, passing the boy. "Quatre's driving, they're in the car. We should hurry and get ready."
Duo didn't argue with him as he followed. His anger was gone, replaced by an age-old patience that he never thought he had. Heero may not have been ready for declarations, but he was. One way or another, he fully intended to tell him. Then he would demand a response. Heero thought he could avoid him, but it was only a matter of time. He'd wait.
//I'm here to stay, forever, and ever
And a day, that's never//
There was plenty of time because he wasn't going anywhere. Whether the taciturn boy wanted to or not, eventually he'd have no choice but to listen.
* * *
//I can't let you go//
He'd never had luggage before; a duffle bag could have held everything he owned. But they'd gone on trips, and he now had enough clothing alone to fill a suitcase. The room looked odd, the boxes and cases piled in the center of the room, and Duo's eyes caressed the bed. He wanted to see him one more time. But he knew; he knew very well that if he did, he'd never be able to go.
//I can't forget it
Why you did it?//
The telephone call had shattered everything. She hadn't played a part in their life for so long that he'd nearly forgotten about her, but Heero obviously hadn't. Relena had called, and Heero had jumped to go to her. If the boy had taken the time and consideration to explain why he was going, things might have been different. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd gotten angry with him for even asking what the girl wanted. He couldn't forgive that.
//I won' t permit it, I won't acquit it//
Heero thought he would accept the angry rebuttal. As if he had no right to question him. As if he would be there, waiting for him to get back from seeing to his princess's needs. It was bullshit. He'd taken too much, he knew he had and it couldn't go on any longer. He wouldn't take any more of it.
//I want to fight you, I'll fuckin' bite you//
It took minutes to load the luggage into the back of his jeep, but he made one last trip to their room. His target was sitting in its place of distinction on Heero's desk and he stared at it, amazed at his lack of anger. Destroying the laptop would serve nothing, not even as a release for the anger he had. It was nothing more than a piece of technology, easily replaced. He couldn't hurt either Heero or Relena by smashing the thing. He knew that now. Nothing he did hurt Heero, either physically or emotionally. He didn't matter enough to be able to hurt him, even by his leaving.
//Can't stand nobody like you//
As if he were dying, memories flashed before his eyes, the house unseen even as he moved through it. Heero had kissed him, just last night and he could still feel the soft lips on his. He had felt such peace in the boy's embrace, but reality came harsh and he knew he'd placed more in the gesture than was actually there. Cold words were recalled when he passed the telephone, Heero glaring at him and telling him it was none of his business why he was leaving. The door had slammed shut. Heero never slammed the door before. He was a hypocrite. He'd played with him, the sweet lover at night and then cold with the reintroduction of the girl into their life together. He had no care for his feelings at all.
//You can't run; you can't hide//
It almost made a sad sort of sense to him, Heero and Relena. She'd chased him relentlessly. His own pursuit of the boy had seemed as heartfelt, and he'd done his best to tie Heero to him. But he knew it wasn't enough. Heero had run from them both, but she had caught him. Now, it was his turn to run. Only in his case, nobody would chase after him.
//No surprise, close your eyes//
His gaze swept over the large house and a small smile graced his face. He'd been so angry when they'd moved into the place. Angry at Quatre for having invited them without speaking to him first, it had taken him time to see it for the treasure it was. Now he thought of the manor as home and the smile turned wistful. He climbed into the small jeep, shutting the door and turning his eyes forward. He should have known it would end like this. The smile stayed when he bowed his head, his words drowned out by the engine as he stared the jeep. "I love you Heero."
* * *
//Come with me
Come with me
Come with me//
* * *
//Hear my cries; hear my calls
Lend me your ears...//
"What are you waiting for?!" His scream was so loud in his ears, he couldn't understand why the boy didn't hear him. He was falling, and Duo turned his head, unwilling to see him hit the ground. Then a cry rang out. A girl was leaning through the hole he'd made in the wall and Duo's eyes flew to her for an instant before snapping to the boy below him. Heero pulled the cord.
* * *
//Hear my cries; hear my calls
Lend me your ears...//
Duo's voice trailed off, and he blinked at the boy seated beside him. Heero's eyes were closed and he was leaning against the seat, his soft breathing signaling his state. "You should have said you wanted to sleep," Duo murmured quietly. It was just like him, never paying any attention. He reminded himself that the boy must have been tired, and he shoved down the feelings that clamored up, wiping the hurt frown from his face.
* * *
//Hear my cries, hear my calls
Lend me your ears//
The long driveway that led from the house seemed longer now and Duo's mind wandered away from the paved road before him. "Will you wonder, Heero?" His voice was quiet, he couldn't hear it over the jeep's engine. "I don't know. Will you ever wonder where I went? What happened to me? Will you even care...?"
//See my fall//
His eyes shifted to the rearview mirror, burning when he saw that the house was out of sight. He hadn't reached the main road yet, but already he felt his new loneliness. He was completely alone now.
//See my errors; know my faults//
It was pathetic, how badly it hurt. As much as he'd love it to be differently he knew he'd never be able to replace Heero in his heart. He couldn't change that.
//Time halts//
Reaching the highway, he sighed and increased the pressure on the accelerator. There was no reason to hesitate. He was thinking this when his world crashed down around him and his throat closed. The dark blue truck never so much as slowed, passing by him, but his eyes were frozen and his head snapped to the side, following him. Heero didn't even glance in his direction. His vision grew foggy and he jerked the jeep to the side. Pulling off the road, he gasped roughly, fighting the burn.
//See my loss//
"Heero..." The whisper broke with a low cry and he buried his face in his hands. He couldn't fight them any longer.
* * *
//Know I'm lacking//
His face felt cold, every part of him was frozen. Then his hands curled into fists and he shoved back out of the chair. Heero's eyes moved over the room, the barren walls, the open, empty drawers, the carefully made bed. He had no sense of moving but his fingers brushed the soft quilt. A harsh breath escaped his clenched teeth and he whirled, lunging across the room. The laptop cracked against the wall, the room empty by the time it hit the carpet.
//Backtracking//
He couldn't even pretend he didn't understand the message, that was the worst part. It would have been so easy to act as if he didn't know why, but he did. His mind was so quick to tell him. He thought of one of their first encounters, before the disastrous death of General Noventa. The boy had smiled at him, not the least bit worried that he'd held a gun on him and he'd said to trust him. And he had. He did. He'd always trusted Duo. It was himself he didn't trust.
//Where I met you//
He'd never understood him. Before he even knew his name, Duo had drawn him in. After rescuing him from the hospital the boy had ignored his cold treatment, his smiles given for free. Without requiring anything in return he'd offered his help, and he'd confused him from the very beginning.
//Pistol packing
Itchy finger, trigger happy//
There was only one thing he'd never doubted. Duo didn't need him. He never had. Even after the year of peace, the boy had leapt back into his role as a pilot. Sneaking into the colony, Duo had been right there, risking his life for a girl he hated, determined to protect everyone. He didn't need help, and Heero's worries had seemed uncalled. But he hadn't been able to hide his worry completely, and he wondered if Duo had paid his advice any attention at all. The boy would never cut loose, even if he were outnumbered. It wasn't in him.
//Try to trap me, beat the rap//
He reached his truck, but he didn't hear the door shut. Instead, he remembered the soft way Duo had spoken just nights before. He'd been about to say something very important and Heero had panicked. The thought that the boy might actually love him was too much as he knew he could *never* live up to that. Leaping at the chance of escape, he hadn't expected the boy to be waiting when he got back from the airport. But Duo had been there, and he was cold, he hadn't wanted to hear it. The very suspicion that the boy might love him was too much.
//Why you tap me//
Swallowing sharply, Heero moved the truck out of the spot he'd parked in and his hand touched his cheek. Just last night Duo had kissed him there, so softly. He'd feigned sleep, but he remembered the light touch in his hair, those lips brushing his skin. He didn't need words to understand the kindness, the emotion behind that gentle display. His foot shoved down on the gas and the truck leapt forward with a lurch.
//Back stab me,
Break the faith//
The boy's stricken expression had torn at him, and he almost regretted his cruel words. He'd been so angry that Duo felt the need to question him. It was as if he thought his going to see Relena meant he was cheating on him. His cruelty had seemed deserved at the time, and he was still angry that Duo thought so little of him. Now he knew better. He didn't blame him at all.
//Fall from grace//
The curving drive faded before him and Heero flinched away from the image. They'd made love last night, and he could still see Duo's face as he'd moaned his name. He was so beautiful, yet he'd called out *his* name. It had bothered him that he never knew why, but now he didn't care. He'd lost him.
//Tell me lies//
He'd tricked him, manipulated the boy into coming with him. He could still remember the hospital, lying there and feeling Duo's gaze on him. The boy had planned that visit to be his goodbye and Heero hadn't been willing to let him go. He could almost feel Duo, holding his hand, that soft voice whispering that he'd stay. He wouldn't leave him and he'd always be there for him. Glaring at the road, Heero didn't know who he was more furious with, himself for having driven the boy away...or Duo for having lied. He knew he had no right to be angry with Duo, but he was.
//Time flies//
Slowing the truck, he turned onto the highway, not sure which way to go. Then his eyes latched onto a black jeep not far down the road and he stared in blatant disbelief.
//Close your eyes//
Heero could barely make out the boy, he was slumped over the steering wheel. His eyes were on fire for a moment, then they narrowed into slits and he shoved on the gas. The distance between them disappeared and he pulled off the road behind the small vehicle. Duo turned a pale face back at him and Heero nearly jumped out of the truck, running. The boy had thrown the clutch by the time he reached him, but he wasn't quick enough. Catching hold of the keys, he jerked them out of the ignition, the engine dying.
//Come with me//
"Where do you think you're going?"
The boy's low voiced question was too much and Duo glared at him. His eyes were red and damp but they more than portrayed his fury.
//Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me
Come with me, come with me//
//I'm gonna take you with me//
"Did you think you could just leave?" Heero asked, his voice not betraying his feelings. "Without saying a word? I won't let you go."
//I wanna fight you//
He could feel his resistance crumbling. It would be so easy to let Heero drag him home, but he knew he could never live like that. He wouldn't live like that. With a cold glare, he shoved open the jeep's door and thrust a hand at the dark-haired boy. "Keys. Now."
Catching the boy's arm, Heero shook his head. "No, Duo. I'm not letting you go."
"It isn't up to you!" Duo cried, jerking at his wrist. "You don't need me, you have your damn princess. Just leave me alone, Heero. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all of it."
His grip tightened and he shook his head again. "I can't let you go."
//I'll fuckin' bite you//
Duo pulled on his arm again, but he knew he couldn't break the boy's hold. Instead, he curled his left hand into a fist and hit him. He didn't dodge and Duo's eyes widened. His wrist was caught and he was pulled forward, Heero's face turning back so the dark mark beneath his eye was visible. He could feel the boy's heart, and for a moment he marveled that it beat faster than his own. "Let me go, Heero. I'll hurt you. I'm not playing, I just want to leave."
He didn't know what to do. He could see the pain in those expressive eyes, but he knew Duo couldn't hate him. He couldn't believe the boy hated him. Still holding the boy close, he tried to kiss him. They'd always been able to express their feelings through action, but he pulled back as the boy growled. Tasting the blood on his lip, he stared at him.
//Can't stand nobody like you//
Heero looked lost and Duo almost regretted his cruel reaction. He didn't want the boy to be unhappy, didn't want to be the one who hurt him. No matter how much he suffered, he couldn't stand the confusion in those eyes. But he didn't want to be miserable for the rest of his life, either. It was insane, Heero treated him as if he didn't care and yet here he was, wanting to wipe the hurt from his face. He felt needed, yet he knew the moment he went back he would be treated the same as always.
//You can't run//
The boy was fighting himself; he could see it. "Duo, don't go. Please? I need you to stay." Duo's eyes narrowed at his words and his heart sank.
"You don't need me," Duo muttered, his voice derogatory. "You won't talk to me, ever. You're never kind. Hell, Heero. You treat Quatre better than you do me. You're killing me and I can't live like this." His expression was clear, and he felt as if he was reminding himself more than telling it to the boy in front of him.
Heero didn't know what to say. He knew he couldn't argue with the accusations, all except the first was completely true. But the first one was wrong, very wrong. "I can't let you run away from me," he whispered. "I can't let go, Duo, I can't."
//You can't hide//
"Even if you did get away, I'd find you, Duo. I would search until I found you."
"Why?" The boy sounded so sincere, but it made no sense. "Why bother?"
//No surprise//
Heero released the boy's hands, his own rising so he could cup Duo's face and he leaned close. His voice faltered once, but he kept his eyes on the violet ones that watched him. "Because I do, Duo." The boy shook his head and he cleared his throat. "Because I love you."
//Close your eyes//
The longhaired boy shook his head and he moved his hands, pulling him close. Those violet eyes shimmered then long lashes hid them and Heero kissed him gently.
//Come with me!//
Duo's arms slowly curved around him and Heero kissed him fervently. A small sound reached him, resembling a sob and he knew it was his. Clutching the boy, he gripped Duo's hair with desperation, unwilling to break the embrace.
//I'm gonna take you with me//
Finally he couldn't fight his need for oxygen and Heero pulled back. "I won't hurt you again," he whispered, his eyes boring into Duo's. "Never. As long as you don't leave. I promise I won't."
Duo dropped his eyes, hating his weakness. "You're using my love against me."
"I know," Heero said softly. Bending, he picked the boy up and carried him to his truck. "I know I am."
//I'm here to stay//
He placed the boy in the passenger seat before climbing in himself. Neither spoke as he started the truck, backing up. Then he looked at Duo and the sheer hopelessness of the boy's posture made him pause. "I wasn't lying, Duo. I will...cherish...you." The boy blinked, giving a small smile as if he knew how hard it was to use that word. "You'll have to help me, though. I don't know...I don't know how to be vulnerable, Duo."
"I do," Duo whispered, dropping his eyes. His arms tightened around himself and he glanced out the window. "I've been vulnerable since we met."
The boy's words hurt and Heero stared at him.
//Forever//
"I'm sorry. I took...and I never gave back. But I'll make it up to you, Duo. Even if it takes the rest of my life."
//And ever,
And a day//
His hand shook as he reached out to Duo, and he brushed his knuckles over the boy's cheek. "Because I love you. And I'll do anything to keep you."
//That's never//
"If you'll just give me the chance..."
Shaking his head, Duo tore his gaze away. "I don't have a choice in it, Heero. I never wanted to leave. I...I probably would have come crawling back eventually." His heart wanted to soar, but he couldn't deny how much he hated himself for not being able to fight the boy. It was sad, that Heero could win him so easily.
//Come with me//
"Don't," Heero said sharply. Leaning over, he kissed the boy. "You never would have gotten the chance to come back, Duo. Because I would have gone to get you long before then. I don't want to live even a day without you in my life."
A slow smile made its way to his face and Duo closed his eyes. "Let's go home."
//Come with me...//
--Owari--