Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Completing the Silence ❯ Fallen Dreams ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Violet_Nyte 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.07.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 432 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.07.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 432 | Status: Completed
LSE // 7-13-02
(Completing the Silence - Chapter Two: Fallen Dreams)
rated: PG-13 - violence, language, content
shounen-ai/yaoi
Fallen Dreams
I'm falling.
Then, I should stop falling. I start to put my hand out, to stop
myself, but remember that wouldn't be the best of things to do.
Instead I brace for impact, but I'm still shaken by the strength of
my shoulder and head hitting the stairs. I'm tumbling, now.
Everything's spinning above me as I fall down the stairs, my braid
smacking into my face. Someone grabs me, stopping my roll just over
halfway down.
It's a scary thing, I've never fallen down the stairs before. I've
been blown up, shot, you name it. I'm a walking disaster. But I've
never fallen down the stairs. And it's scary. Very, very scary.
At first I'm so scared I can't even move, much less make sense of why
someone's yelling at me. It must be Heero. I woozily open my eyes and
find blue eyes above me, but they're Quatre's soft ones, not my l
over's hard, steel blue. Where's Heero? It's then that I see him,
standing at the foot of the stairs. I'm shocked. Hurt. Heero didn't
try and save me. He didn't even move. He's staring at me, no emotion
on his face.
"Duo! Are you okay? Duo!"
I try and give Quatre a shaky laugh and succeed, "Oi, Trowa, you
should cut your hair if you can't see around it," I tease, meeting
horrified green eyes. No one laughs. No one even grins. They just
look at me, stunned. Shocked. God, I'm not made of glass. I want to
scream at them. I'm not going to break because of some stupid fall!
As if to prove it I stand on my own, dismissing Quatre and Trowa's
help. "I'm fine, really!" I insist. Quatre points to my arm, my left
arm. Fresh blood is blooming below the gauze. "Don't worry, I'll take
care of it." They don't look convinced. I look to Heero again, he's
still just staring at me. He looks angry.
"You broke the lamp." He says at last. His statement is met with
stunned silence, as Quatre recalls why they were chasing me in the
first place. Trowa looks slightly confused, but doesn't say anything.
"I knocked the table on accident."
He doesn't believe me. "That was my favorite lamp. The one you hated.
You broke it."
"Well, I'm sorry. I didn't see which lamp was on the table, it was an
accident. Christ, just chill out!" I suddenly can't look at him
anymore, I can't look at any of them. At Quatre's concerned face, or
Trowa's stupid hair, or even Wufei, and I don't even know where he is.
"I didn't mean to break the lamp!"
"Just like you didn't mean to break the vase?"
"You wouldn't wake up!" I protest, staring at Heero. Quatre is slowly
making his escape, grabbing Trowa's hand on his way. I don't care if
they stay, let them see what a jerk Heero's being. "It was an
accident!"
And then Heero says it. "Just like the mirror?" He asks quietly, so
quietly I want to believe I didn't hear it.
What can I say to that? I beat my retreat without a word, shoving
past Trowa and a startled Wufei, just coming out from his room to see
what all the noise was.
My room, our room, is a temporary sanctuary. A small part of me wants
to finish the job. That scares me. Terrifies me to my very core. I
don't really want to die. My left arm needs changing, and I need a
shower. I'd rather just use the shower in here than go out into the
hallway again. I shut the door and start to lock it, but the latch it
broken, destroyed when Heero kicked it open. The tiles... God, the
tiles are stained...
I won't look at the tiles. I quickly rip off the bandages, pausing to
look at the chaos I inflicted on them. I'm oddly proud. I take my hair
out of it's braid, letting the chestnut waves gather around my knees.
I'm proud of how long my hair is. I'm proud of my hair and oddly proud
of my arms. There will be scarring.
The water feels good, steamy. I closed my eyes and let the water
splash across my chest, breathing deeply. I'm careful not to let my
arms get a direct blast of water, I only gingerly splash a little
water on them and hope for the best. The idea of shampoo in the wounds
is extremely unappealing, so I skip it. I just let myself relax.
I wonder what time it is.
I've forgotten to take my medicine.
Why is Heero so...
It feels so good in the shower. I sit in the small stall, bringing my
knees to my chest so I'll fit. The door fits snugly, a frosted glass
pane separating me from the outside world. It's comfortable, relaxing.
I rest my chin on my knees. I'm tired. My eyes close for a little
rest...
It's dark.
I'm cold.
Someone's calling me.
It's safe here.
I'm at peace.
They're calling me.
"Duo!"
I wake with a start, my head jerking of my knees as I look around,
confused. I fell asleep... It occurs to me I've been in the shower a
very long time. The water is ice cold, I'm shivering.
The door slams open as whoever it is realizes it's not locked.
"Duo!" The shower door also opens, Heero staring down me as I look
guiltily up. "Fuck, Duo! You scared me..." He breaks off, face once
again turning to stone.
I stand stiffly, turning the freezing water off. "I fell asleep."
Heero steps back as I grab a fluffy white towel and step out, holding
it to me to stop the shivers. Damn it's cold.
"You're lips are blue."
"The hot water ran out," I bend over and let my hair topple to the
ground, securing the towel around it and twisted. Straightening, I
grab another towel and arrange the first one atop my head, like the
women do.
Heero's staring at me, face gone pale. Correction, he's staring at my
arms. I don't feel proud of them anymore. I feel awful. I ignore him
and go into the bedroom, throwing open the closet and looking at my
clothes. Instead of my usual pseudo-priest outfit, I pick out black
jeans and the biggest black sweatshirt I've got. I want to hide my
bandages, but I don't want anything touching them. I feel Heero's
eyes on me as I dress, but somehow I know he's not getting any joy
out of it. Usually he likes to watch me dress. Says it's sexy.
Once dressed I sit on the bed and fish out a handful of gauze.
"Do you want me to?" Heero asks, still staring horrified at my arms,
exposed since I've rolled the sleeves up.
"I can do it."
I'm shivering. No, I'm shaking. It hurts. My arms are aching, I'm
sensitive to the lightest touch of gauze, I can't do it. The gauze
falls to the floor and I just sit there, looking at it.
"Duo..."
I take another roll of gauze out and grit my teeth, wrapping it
quickly, ignoring the waves of pain. I get the left arm done easily
enough, and soon my right arm is fluffy with gauze. I sigh in relief,
even though both arms are protesting loudly. I need more drugs.
To my surprise, Heero kneels in front of me and takes my hand in his,
holding my arm out. He looks at it freshly bandaged, as if he can't
believe the horrific damage that lays beneath. "Why."
It's not really a question.
At least he's talking to me. I look away, giving a halfhearted
attempt to pull my arm free. He releases it without a fight. Delaying
the inevitable, I search through the hospital bag and find the three
bottles of pills. Heero silently goes and gets my a glass, and I
remember the other day in the hospital when he gave me a drink.
Fortunately, I don't drool it all over my front this time.
"One, two, three!" I say cheerfully out loud, downing the pills.
But Heero is gone.
------------------------------------------------------------ ----------
Darkness, all around me, everywhere.
Darkness in my soul.
I'm crying, and no one cares. They lust for my cries.
My blood.
My blood is everywhere. I can smell it, I can taste it, metallic.
It hurts. God, it hurts. Please, it hurts. Stop.
Stop! No!
Nooooooo!
I suck cold air into my lungs with a great gasp, struggling against
the bonds that hold me. Above me, eyes glint in the dim moonlight.
"No!" I scream, head whipping from side to side in blind panic.
"Duo! It's okay! Duo!"
"He...Heero?"
"Yes! Duo, it's just a dream. Okay? Duo, it's a dream." The pressure
eases off my shoulders as Heero sits back, his breath almost as fast
as mine, which is out of control, like my heart. "It's a dream."
"Dream." I repeat, feeling the word in my mouth. I take another deep
breath, which turns into a strangled sob. God, just a dream.
Nightmare.
"Okay?"
I nod a little, turning away from him and curling into a ball. I try
to take a calming breath. I can feel Heero's eyes burning into the
back of my head. God, just a nightmare. I tangle my fingers around
the cross, squeezing it tightly.
"Duo..." Heero sighs. I can't read the emotion in his voice.
There's a knock on the door. A bit of light floods into the room and
Wufei's head pops in. He's right next door. Was I screaming?
"Everything okay in here? Yuy? Maxwell?"
"Fine." Heero says. My back is to the door, so I can't see if they're
having a nonverbal conversation. I imagine Wufei's circling his index
finger around his temple, 'Cuckoo! Duo's crazy!'
The door closes and I hear Wufei's muffled voice repeating the
information. To Quatre and Trowa, who were no doubt in the middle of
love. It's painful, having Heero so close, yet there's nothing I can
do. He hates me. I hate me.
THe bed squeaks as Heero get up. The side table lamp goes on, a soft
light illuminating the room. I duck my head lower, blocking the
brightness out. Illumination. Hallucination. Perspiration. A sheen of
sweat sticks my hair to my face, I think some of might not be sweat
but tears. Just a nightmare.
"Here."
I lift my head, squinting to see what Heero's holding out. Pills. I
check my watch and, sure enough, it's medicine time. The alarm goes
off, delayed reminder. Four in the morning. I fetch the glass of
water from my side table and take the pills. I start to take them all
at once, but stop, looking more closely at the little round tablets.
Red. Yellow. Green... and blue. "Four. But I only take three."
Heero climbs back into bed, turning off his light. "Now it's four."
The blue must be the anti-depressant the doctor was talking about.
I'm tempted to not take it, but I'm tired and it's late and I don't
really care if I take one more pill or not.
Heero's back is to me. We usually spoon together, and he holds me and
brushes aside my hair and whispers in my ear all those things he never
says except when we're alone. But he'll never do that again, because
I was stupid. Baka. It doesn't sound the same as when he calls me it.
He almost caresses the insult. I want him to call me an idiot. Odd.
Maybe I'll die from the combination of medicines.
The doctor will be in lots of trouble.
Heero will cry.
No.
Heero doesn't cry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: A big thank you to Katie and Savannah, the former for
always being there, the latter for fueling my passion for yaoi.
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated! (Thank you so much for
all the positive reviews I've recieved!) More chapters coming.
Baka - idiot
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
www.geocities.com/manzokubiscuit/index.html
(Completing the Silence - Chapter Two: Fallen Dreams)
rated: PG-13 - violence, language, content
shounen-ai/yaoi
Fallen Dreams
I'm falling.
Then, I should stop falling. I start to put my hand out, to stop
myself, but remember that wouldn't be the best of things to do.
Instead I brace for impact, but I'm still shaken by the strength of
my shoulder and head hitting the stairs. I'm tumbling, now.
Everything's spinning above me as I fall down the stairs, my braid
smacking into my face. Someone grabs me, stopping my roll just over
halfway down.
It's a scary thing, I've never fallen down the stairs before. I've
been blown up, shot, you name it. I'm a walking disaster. But I've
never fallen down the stairs. And it's scary. Very, very scary.
At first I'm so scared I can't even move, much less make sense of why
someone's yelling at me. It must be Heero. I woozily open my eyes and
find blue eyes above me, but they're Quatre's soft ones, not my l
over's hard, steel blue. Where's Heero? It's then that I see him,
standing at the foot of the stairs. I'm shocked. Hurt. Heero didn't
try and save me. He didn't even move. He's staring at me, no emotion
on his face.
"Duo! Are you okay? Duo!"
I try and give Quatre a shaky laugh and succeed, "Oi, Trowa, you
should cut your hair if you can't see around it," I tease, meeting
horrified green eyes. No one laughs. No one even grins. They just
look at me, stunned. Shocked. God, I'm not made of glass. I want to
scream at them. I'm not going to break because of some stupid fall!
As if to prove it I stand on my own, dismissing Quatre and Trowa's
help. "I'm fine, really!" I insist. Quatre points to my arm, my left
arm. Fresh blood is blooming below the gauze. "Don't worry, I'll take
care of it." They don't look convinced. I look to Heero again, he's
still just staring at me. He looks angry.
"You broke the lamp." He says at last. His statement is met with
stunned silence, as Quatre recalls why they were chasing me in the
first place. Trowa looks slightly confused, but doesn't say anything.
"I knocked the table on accident."
He doesn't believe me. "That was my favorite lamp. The one you hated.
You broke it."
"Well, I'm sorry. I didn't see which lamp was on the table, it was an
accident. Christ, just chill out!" I suddenly can't look at him
anymore, I can't look at any of them. At Quatre's concerned face, or
Trowa's stupid hair, or even Wufei, and I don't even know where he is.
"I didn't mean to break the lamp!"
"Just like you didn't mean to break the vase?"
"You wouldn't wake up!" I protest, staring at Heero. Quatre is slowly
making his escape, grabbing Trowa's hand on his way. I don't care if
they stay, let them see what a jerk Heero's being. "It was an
accident!"
And then Heero says it. "Just like the mirror?" He asks quietly, so
quietly I want to believe I didn't hear it.
What can I say to that? I beat my retreat without a word, shoving
past Trowa and a startled Wufei, just coming out from his room to see
what all the noise was.
My room, our room, is a temporary sanctuary. A small part of me wants
to finish the job. That scares me. Terrifies me to my very core. I
don't really want to die. My left arm needs changing, and I need a
shower. I'd rather just use the shower in here than go out into the
hallway again. I shut the door and start to lock it, but the latch it
broken, destroyed when Heero kicked it open. The tiles... God, the
tiles are stained...
I won't look at the tiles. I quickly rip off the bandages, pausing to
look at the chaos I inflicted on them. I'm oddly proud. I take my hair
out of it's braid, letting the chestnut waves gather around my knees.
I'm proud of how long my hair is. I'm proud of my hair and oddly proud
of my arms. There will be scarring.
The water feels good, steamy. I closed my eyes and let the water
splash across my chest, breathing deeply. I'm careful not to let my
arms get a direct blast of water, I only gingerly splash a little
water on them and hope for the best. The idea of shampoo in the wounds
is extremely unappealing, so I skip it. I just let myself relax.
I wonder what time it is.
I've forgotten to take my medicine.
Why is Heero so...
It feels so good in the shower. I sit in the small stall, bringing my
knees to my chest so I'll fit. The door fits snugly, a frosted glass
pane separating me from the outside world. It's comfortable, relaxing.
I rest my chin on my knees. I'm tired. My eyes close for a little
rest...
It's dark.
I'm cold.
Someone's calling me.
It's safe here.
I'm at peace.
They're calling me.
"Duo!"
I wake with a start, my head jerking of my knees as I look around,
confused. I fell asleep... It occurs to me I've been in the shower a
very long time. The water is ice cold, I'm shivering.
The door slams open as whoever it is realizes it's not locked.
"Duo!" The shower door also opens, Heero staring down me as I look
guiltily up. "Fuck, Duo! You scared me..." He breaks off, face once
again turning to stone.
I stand stiffly, turning the freezing water off. "I fell asleep."
Heero steps back as I grab a fluffy white towel and step out, holding
it to me to stop the shivers. Damn it's cold.
"You're lips are blue."
"The hot water ran out," I bend over and let my hair topple to the
ground, securing the towel around it and twisted. Straightening, I
grab another towel and arrange the first one atop my head, like the
women do.
Heero's staring at me, face gone pale. Correction, he's staring at my
arms. I don't feel proud of them anymore. I feel awful. I ignore him
and go into the bedroom, throwing open the closet and looking at my
clothes. Instead of my usual pseudo-priest outfit, I pick out black
jeans and the biggest black sweatshirt I've got. I want to hide my
bandages, but I don't want anything touching them. I feel Heero's
eyes on me as I dress, but somehow I know he's not getting any joy
out of it. Usually he likes to watch me dress. Says it's sexy.
Once dressed I sit on the bed and fish out a handful of gauze.
"Do you want me to?" Heero asks, still staring horrified at my arms,
exposed since I've rolled the sleeves up.
"I can do it."
I'm shivering. No, I'm shaking. It hurts. My arms are aching, I'm
sensitive to the lightest touch of gauze, I can't do it. The gauze
falls to the floor and I just sit there, looking at it.
"Duo..."
I take another roll of gauze out and grit my teeth, wrapping it
quickly, ignoring the waves of pain. I get the left arm done easily
enough, and soon my right arm is fluffy with gauze. I sigh in relief,
even though both arms are protesting loudly. I need more drugs.
To my surprise, Heero kneels in front of me and takes my hand in his,
holding my arm out. He looks at it freshly bandaged, as if he can't
believe the horrific damage that lays beneath. "Why."
It's not really a question.
At least he's talking to me. I look away, giving a halfhearted
attempt to pull my arm free. He releases it without a fight. Delaying
the inevitable, I search through the hospital bag and find the three
bottles of pills. Heero silently goes and gets my a glass, and I
remember the other day in the hospital when he gave me a drink.
Fortunately, I don't drool it all over my front this time.
"One, two, three!" I say cheerfully out loud, downing the pills.
But Heero is gone.
------------------------------------------------------------ ----------
Darkness, all around me, everywhere.
Darkness in my soul.
I'm crying, and no one cares. They lust for my cries.
My blood.
My blood is everywhere. I can smell it, I can taste it, metallic.
It hurts. God, it hurts. Please, it hurts. Stop.
Stop! No!
Nooooooo!
I suck cold air into my lungs with a great gasp, struggling against
the bonds that hold me. Above me, eyes glint in the dim moonlight.
"No!" I scream, head whipping from side to side in blind panic.
"Duo! It's okay! Duo!"
"He...Heero?"
"Yes! Duo, it's just a dream. Okay? Duo, it's a dream." The pressure
eases off my shoulders as Heero sits back, his breath almost as fast
as mine, which is out of control, like my heart. "It's a dream."
"Dream." I repeat, feeling the word in my mouth. I take another deep
breath, which turns into a strangled sob. God, just a dream.
Nightmare.
"Okay?"
I nod a little, turning away from him and curling into a ball. I try
to take a calming breath. I can feel Heero's eyes burning into the
back of my head. God, just a nightmare. I tangle my fingers around
the cross, squeezing it tightly.
"Duo..." Heero sighs. I can't read the emotion in his voice.
There's a knock on the door. A bit of light floods into the room and
Wufei's head pops in. He's right next door. Was I screaming?
"Everything okay in here? Yuy? Maxwell?"
"Fine." Heero says. My back is to the door, so I can't see if they're
having a nonverbal conversation. I imagine Wufei's circling his index
finger around his temple, 'Cuckoo! Duo's crazy!'
The door closes and I hear Wufei's muffled voice repeating the
information. To Quatre and Trowa, who were no doubt in the middle of
love. It's painful, having Heero so close, yet there's nothing I can
do. He hates me. I hate me.
THe bed squeaks as Heero get up. The side table lamp goes on, a soft
light illuminating the room. I duck my head lower, blocking the
brightness out. Illumination. Hallucination. Perspiration. A sheen of
sweat sticks my hair to my face, I think some of might not be sweat
but tears. Just a nightmare.
"Here."
I lift my head, squinting to see what Heero's holding out. Pills. I
check my watch and, sure enough, it's medicine time. The alarm goes
off, delayed reminder. Four in the morning. I fetch the glass of
water from my side table and take the pills. I start to take them all
at once, but stop, looking more closely at the little round tablets.
Red. Yellow. Green... and blue. "Four. But I only take three."
Heero climbs back into bed, turning off his light. "Now it's four."
The blue must be the anti-depressant the doctor was talking about.
I'm tempted to not take it, but I'm tired and it's late and I don't
really care if I take one more pill or not.
Heero's back is to me. We usually spoon together, and he holds me and
brushes aside my hair and whispers in my ear all those things he never
says except when we're alone. But he'll never do that again, because
I was stupid. Baka. It doesn't sound the same as when he calls me it.
He almost caresses the insult. I want him to call me an idiot. Odd.
Maybe I'll die from the combination of medicines.
The doctor will be in lots of trouble.
Heero will cry.
No.
Heero doesn't cry.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: A big thank you to Katie and Savannah, the former for
always being there, the latter for fueling my passion for yaoi.
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated! (Thank you so much for
all the positive reviews I've recieved!) More chapters coming.
Baka - idiot
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
www.geocities.com/manzokubiscuit/index.html