Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Completing the Silence ❯ Cry Once Again ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Violet_Nyte 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.07.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 406 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.07.2002 | Pages: 4 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 406 | Status: Completed
LSE // 7-15-02
(Completing the Silence - Chapter Four: Cry Once Again)
rated: PG-13 - violence, language, content
shounen-ai/yaoi
Cry Once Again
They're talking about me. I have the strongest urge to sneeze. I want
to eavesdrop, but the disaster last time I did so holds me back.
Instead I throw open another cabinet, growling in disgust at the food
hidden up inside. Where's the ready-made stuff? Cookies, dammit, I
want cookies!
Trowa walks past me, a curious look on his face. He leans against the
kitchen counter, watching me for a moment. I turn and look at him. I
can only see the one emerald eye, and that's kinda freaky. "What?" I
wince the harsh tone.
Get a grip, Duo, you don't snap at friends!
He doesn't answer, he simply shakes his head and leaves. I throw
open the next cabinet, pushing aside the cereal boxes. If we only had
milk... I pause, leaning forward to get a better look inside. Christ,
what's THIS doing in there? I reach behind the Frosted Wheat Squares
and pull free the gun. Which paranoid ex-pilot hid this up in there?
Probably Trowa, or maybe Wufei. I turn the firearm over in my hands,
studying it carefully. It's unloaded, the bullets must be hidden
elsewhere. I hear a soft noise behind me and turn. Quatre's standing
there, the door leading into the garage closing behind him. "Oh, hi
Quatre." He's pale. "Hey, you okay?"
I step towards him and he jumps back with a startled yell. He flees
the kitchen. Too late I realize he was staring at the Baretta. I turn
back to the cabinets. Maybe if I put it back they won't get too upset.
I hear Quatre's voice again, and the kitchen door slams open.
I turn, ready to protest my innocence, but it's not Quatre but Heero.
Shit. His eyes are wide, I realize he's actually scared of me and
shudder.
"Fuck!" Heero says, his eyes moving to stare at the gun. "Duo..."
Can't have Heero telling everyone I snapped, can I? I lift the gun,
"Sorry, love," I say.
Heero jumps back, slamming into the wall, eyes widening even further
and... oh, God, his hands went for his gun, but he hasn't worn a
weapon in years. Christ, he was going to shoot me! "Don't!" He yells
at me, "Put it down!"
"Heero? Really, I'm sorry for having scared you. Here..." I implore,
holding the gun out again. "I found it in the cabinets. Guess Wufei
thought the cereal needed protection."
He's staring at me. The scared look he's giving me slowly fades,
replaced by the empty anger I'm so use to. Since he won't take the
gun, I set it on the counter. "Come on, Heero, you didn't think I'd
actually hurt you?"
No answer.
My eyes widen, "Heero? Heero, I'd never hurt you!"
To my great relief, Heero suddenly nods, stepping away from the wall.
"I know..." He shakes his head, "It's just you're so different now.
Duo..." The distance between us closes and he's pressed against me,
face buried in my shoulder. His arms circle me tightly, "I didn't
think you'd hurt me... I was terrified you'd hurt yourself."
"Oh, Heero..."
"I love you, Duo, I love you," He mumbles into my shoulder. His
shoulders shake with silent sobs, and I feel tears running down my
own cheeks.
I hug him tightly back, pressing my lips to his hair. "Heero..."
------------------------------------------------------- ---------------
Quatre eased the door closed and backed away, cheeks rapidly tinting
towards bright pink. Wufei crossed his arms and waited impatiently for
a report, "Well? Has Maxwell finally lost it?"
"They made up," Quatre said happily, taking Trowa's hand into his own.
"They made up?" Wufei repeated flatly, moving towards the door.
Quatre's other arm shot out and gently stopped him. "No, leave them
alone. It's... personal."
"Oh. Oh! Oh, that's just sick. I have to eat in there!"
---------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"It's nearly four."
"So?" I murmur, reaching back to lightly tracing Heero's jaw. "Oh. In
a minute," I say, looking to my side table, to the four pill bottles.
Heero hugs me closer to him, the curve of my back nestling against
his chest. The alarm on my watch goes off as the digital face clicks
over to 4:00. We'll have to get up eventually and face the others for
dinner. Unless we just stay hidden away upstairs. I'm sure I've got
food somewhere in the dresser.
Grumbling, I roll free of Heero's embrace and pop open my meds. I
pause just before taking the blue pill, looking to Heero with a
slight shrug as I down it like the rest.
Heero pulls me away from the table and into his lap, nuzzling his
mouth against my neck to make me laugh. I lean back against his
shoulder and he strokes a hand down my chest, gathering the loose
fall of chestnut hair. It's unbraided, and slightly tangled. He runs
his fingers through it like a comb, "Your hair's nice."
Although his voice is no longer filled with emotion, it's not empty,
either. For a moment it feels like everything's normal once more,
but I can sense the difference still. We're just avoiding the subject.
"Maybe too nice," I mutter, but he doesn't hear me. I stop his
combing by taking his hand in mine, forcing him to feel the bandages.
"I can't tell you everything just yet...but will you trust me?"
"Duo?"
"I's sorry, Heero, I really am. I never meant..." my voice falters, I
can't continue without breaking into tears again, so I skip over the
difficult parts, "Please, give me another chance?"
"Baka," he whispers in my ear. "Doctor Burnett... She thinks you need
to be institutionalized."
"What?" I sit up, turning to face Heero, "You don't agree with her,
do you?"
"No, I don't. I'm just telling you what she thinks. Duo, I won't let
them put you away, okay? I promise."
"Really?"
"I trust you. I won't let them take you."
"Heero!" I hug him fiercely.
He strokes my hair again, caressing the long chestnut strands. "I
won't give up on you, Duo."
------------------------------------------------------------ ----------
"One, two, three..." I look over to Heero, "four?"
He nods.
I sigh and take the blue pill as well. Despite his promises yesterday,
which I fully believe, he's making me take the anti-depressants. MAO
inhibitors, or whatever that doctor said. At least I won't be seeing
her anymore. Score one for Maxwell.
They have yet to replaced the mirror in our bathroom, but someone, I
suspect Quatre, bought a mat to put over the stains. It feels good,
fuzzy. I'm happy, things are getting back to normal. No one's giving
me sideways glances or suspicious looks anymore, and Heero... I sigh
contentedly, padding out of the bathroom. "Are you going to braid my
hair?" I ask, sitting on the bed.
Heero sits beside me, taking my hair, still damp from the shower, and
skillfully plaiting it. My arms are still wrapped securely, I knew
it'd bother Heero so I did that before I came out of the shower.
Once he finishes we share a quick kiss and I go to get dressed. "When
was the last time we did laundry?"
"Make Wufei do it."
"'Injustice! Laundry is for onna!'" I mimic, tugging my boxers on.
"Trowa, it's his turn isn't it?"
"Probably."
Heero's arms circle by waist, I turn, shirtless and black jeans
unzipped, and playfully rap my fingers on his shoulder, "Now how am I
supposed to get dressed with you distracting me?"
"Simple. Don't dress."
---------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"Can I take ibuprofen?"
Quatre looks up, "On top of three painkillers? Absolutely not."
I sigh, but I have to admit Quatre has a point even if he didn't
mention the fourth pill. I'm amazed that combination hasn't killed
me yet. Still, I want something more. "What's wrong?" Heero asks,
catching sight of my face.
"Oh, just a headache. Probably from hitting the headboard."
Heero slowly turns red, "Oh, yes, yes..." he says with a cough.
Quatre and Trowa exchange looks, turning red as well.
I look to the clock above the dinning table. It's just past one in
the afternoon. The remains of our lunch are being put away by a very
angry Wufei, muttering insults under his breath. 'Injustice. Washing
dishes is for onna.' I can hear him saying that.
"I'm going to go lay down. Someone come wake me at four."
I go upstairs and sit on our bed. It feels like someone's pounding
against my temple. I look to the headboard. I hit it with the back of
my head, so why is the pain elsewhere? Hell, that could be normal.
I'm not a doctor. I sigh and lay back, feeling the ache subside a
little as long as I don't move my head any.
It's quiet, peaceful. I hear footsteps and a head pokes into the room.
"All right?"
"Fine." I'm laying across the bed almost sideways, my head facing the
door. Heero pauses for a moment in the doorway, then turns and goes
down the hall to the office. After a while I can hear the rapid clicks
of him typing. I could start screaming and he'd never notice, that's
how absorbed he can be in that laptop.
My eyes close.
The pain in my head dulls, coming in almost gentle waves. It's a dim
discomfort.
I sleep.
And I dream.
...
It's dark.
Not natural dark, but shadows. The buildings soar high above,
blocking the sun. What lurks in the shadows?
I can't see.
I move by touch.
Mole. I am a mole underground, this is my home. I feel safe despite
the dangers. I feel the need.
It is bright ahead, my journey is ending. The passage behind me is
long, the space in front decreasing. I approach the light, the sound.
Traffic in the street. Pedestrians. I've cut time using this shortcut.
My passage between the giants. The towering buildings.
This light before me fades, everything goes dark. I break into a run.
Where has the light gone? Where is the street?
Someone grabs me.
I will scream.
A hand over my mouth stops me. A hand on my braid guides me. Back,
back into the shadows. A voice in my ear laughs. Harsh.
I will fight.
Someone hits me.
The darkness overwhelms.
...
"Duo."
I wake with a start, looking up at the pair of cobalt looking down at
me. Another nightmare. Did I cry out?
"It's four o'clock."
Heero doesn't look concerned. He looks stoic. As usual. I nod and sit
up, wincing as the pain in my head returns.
"Do you still have a headache?"
I nod, crawling across the bed for my medicine, "Feels like a bunch
of hippos tap dancing on my skull. Or a brain slushie. Cherry
flavored."
"You're so weird," Heero says, shaking his head. I grin back at him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I hope I didn't lose anyone with the lovey-supportive
Heero scenes. There's lost more angst coming. Duo fans will hate me...
I'm using drugs available now even though this takes place in the
future. If Zechs and Co. can walk around dressed like 18th century
generals, Duo can take 21st century drugs.
Baka - idiot
onna - women
Feedback/review greatly appreciated (Anonymous reviews now accepted!
I hadn't realized I was blocking them) More chapters soon.
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
www.geocities.com/manzokubiscuit/index.html
(Completing the Silence - Chapter Four: Cry Once Again)
rated: PG-13 - violence, language, content
shounen-ai/yaoi
Cry Once Again
They're talking about me. I have the strongest urge to sneeze. I want
to eavesdrop, but the disaster last time I did so holds me back.
Instead I throw open another cabinet, growling in disgust at the food
hidden up inside. Where's the ready-made stuff? Cookies, dammit, I
want cookies!
Trowa walks past me, a curious look on his face. He leans against the
kitchen counter, watching me for a moment. I turn and look at him. I
can only see the one emerald eye, and that's kinda freaky. "What?" I
wince the harsh tone.
Get a grip, Duo, you don't snap at friends!
He doesn't answer, he simply shakes his head and leaves. I throw
open the next cabinet, pushing aside the cereal boxes. If we only had
milk... I pause, leaning forward to get a better look inside. Christ,
what's THIS doing in there? I reach behind the Frosted Wheat Squares
and pull free the gun. Which paranoid ex-pilot hid this up in there?
Probably Trowa, or maybe Wufei. I turn the firearm over in my hands,
studying it carefully. It's unloaded, the bullets must be hidden
elsewhere. I hear a soft noise behind me and turn. Quatre's standing
there, the door leading into the garage closing behind him. "Oh, hi
Quatre." He's pale. "Hey, you okay?"
I step towards him and he jumps back with a startled yell. He flees
the kitchen. Too late I realize he was staring at the Baretta. I turn
back to the cabinets. Maybe if I put it back they won't get too upset.
I hear Quatre's voice again, and the kitchen door slams open.
I turn, ready to protest my innocence, but it's not Quatre but Heero.
Shit. His eyes are wide, I realize he's actually scared of me and
shudder.
"Fuck!" Heero says, his eyes moving to stare at the gun. "Duo..."
Can't have Heero telling everyone I snapped, can I? I lift the gun,
"Sorry, love," I say.
Heero jumps back, slamming into the wall, eyes widening even further
and... oh, God, his hands went for his gun, but he hasn't worn a
weapon in years. Christ, he was going to shoot me! "Don't!" He yells
at me, "Put it down!"
"Heero? Really, I'm sorry for having scared you. Here..." I implore,
holding the gun out again. "I found it in the cabinets. Guess Wufei
thought the cereal needed protection."
He's staring at me. The scared look he's giving me slowly fades,
replaced by the empty anger I'm so use to. Since he won't take the
gun, I set it on the counter. "Come on, Heero, you didn't think I'd
actually hurt you?"
No answer.
My eyes widen, "Heero? Heero, I'd never hurt you!"
To my great relief, Heero suddenly nods, stepping away from the wall.
"I know..." He shakes his head, "It's just you're so different now.
Duo..." The distance between us closes and he's pressed against me,
face buried in my shoulder. His arms circle me tightly, "I didn't
think you'd hurt me... I was terrified you'd hurt yourself."
"Oh, Heero..."
"I love you, Duo, I love you," He mumbles into my shoulder. His
shoulders shake with silent sobs, and I feel tears running down my
own cheeks.
I hug him tightly back, pressing my lips to his hair. "Heero..."
------------------------------------------------------- ---------------
Quatre eased the door closed and backed away, cheeks rapidly tinting
towards bright pink. Wufei crossed his arms and waited impatiently for
a report, "Well? Has Maxwell finally lost it?"
"They made up," Quatre said happily, taking Trowa's hand into his own.
"They made up?" Wufei repeated flatly, moving towards the door.
Quatre's other arm shot out and gently stopped him. "No, leave them
alone. It's... personal."
"Oh. Oh! Oh, that's just sick. I have to eat in there!"
---------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"It's nearly four."
"So?" I murmur, reaching back to lightly tracing Heero's jaw. "Oh. In
a minute," I say, looking to my side table, to the four pill bottles.
Heero hugs me closer to him, the curve of my back nestling against
his chest. The alarm on my watch goes off as the digital face clicks
over to 4:00. We'll have to get up eventually and face the others for
dinner. Unless we just stay hidden away upstairs. I'm sure I've got
food somewhere in the dresser.
Grumbling, I roll free of Heero's embrace and pop open my meds. I
pause just before taking the blue pill, looking to Heero with a
slight shrug as I down it like the rest.
Heero pulls me away from the table and into his lap, nuzzling his
mouth against my neck to make me laugh. I lean back against his
shoulder and he strokes a hand down my chest, gathering the loose
fall of chestnut hair. It's unbraided, and slightly tangled. He runs
his fingers through it like a comb, "Your hair's nice."
Although his voice is no longer filled with emotion, it's not empty,
either. For a moment it feels like everything's normal once more,
but I can sense the difference still. We're just avoiding the subject.
"Maybe too nice," I mutter, but he doesn't hear me. I stop his
combing by taking his hand in mine, forcing him to feel the bandages.
"I can't tell you everything just yet...but will you trust me?"
"Duo?"
"I's sorry, Heero, I really am. I never meant..." my voice falters, I
can't continue without breaking into tears again, so I skip over the
difficult parts, "Please, give me another chance?"
"Baka," he whispers in my ear. "Doctor Burnett... She thinks you need
to be institutionalized."
"What?" I sit up, turning to face Heero, "You don't agree with her,
do you?"
"No, I don't. I'm just telling you what she thinks. Duo, I won't let
them put you away, okay? I promise."
"Really?"
"I trust you. I won't let them take you."
"Heero!" I hug him fiercely.
He strokes my hair again, caressing the long chestnut strands. "I
won't give up on you, Duo."
------------------------------------------------------------ ----------
"One, two, three..." I look over to Heero, "four?"
He nods.
I sigh and take the blue pill as well. Despite his promises yesterday,
which I fully believe, he's making me take the anti-depressants. MAO
inhibitors, or whatever that doctor said. At least I won't be seeing
her anymore. Score one for Maxwell.
They have yet to replaced the mirror in our bathroom, but someone, I
suspect Quatre, bought a mat to put over the stains. It feels good,
fuzzy. I'm happy, things are getting back to normal. No one's giving
me sideways glances or suspicious looks anymore, and Heero... I sigh
contentedly, padding out of the bathroom. "Are you going to braid my
hair?" I ask, sitting on the bed.
Heero sits beside me, taking my hair, still damp from the shower, and
skillfully plaiting it. My arms are still wrapped securely, I knew
it'd bother Heero so I did that before I came out of the shower.
Once he finishes we share a quick kiss and I go to get dressed. "When
was the last time we did laundry?"
"Make Wufei do it."
"'Injustice! Laundry is for onna!'" I mimic, tugging my boxers on.
"Trowa, it's his turn isn't it?"
"Probably."
Heero's arms circle by waist, I turn, shirtless and black jeans
unzipped, and playfully rap my fingers on his shoulder, "Now how am I
supposed to get dressed with you distracting me?"
"Simple. Don't dress."
---------------------------------------------------------- ------------
"Can I take ibuprofen?"
Quatre looks up, "On top of three painkillers? Absolutely not."
I sigh, but I have to admit Quatre has a point even if he didn't
mention the fourth pill. I'm amazed that combination hasn't killed
me yet. Still, I want something more. "What's wrong?" Heero asks,
catching sight of my face.
"Oh, just a headache. Probably from hitting the headboard."
Heero slowly turns red, "Oh, yes, yes..." he says with a cough.
Quatre and Trowa exchange looks, turning red as well.
I look to the clock above the dinning table. It's just past one in
the afternoon. The remains of our lunch are being put away by a very
angry Wufei, muttering insults under his breath. 'Injustice. Washing
dishes is for onna.' I can hear him saying that.
"I'm going to go lay down. Someone come wake me at four."
I go upstairs and sit on our bed. It feels like someone's pounding
against my temple. I look to the headboard. I hit it with the back of
my head, so why is the pain elsewhere? Hell, that could be normal.
I'm not a doctor. I sigh and lay back, feeling the ache subside a
little as long as I don't move my head any.
It's quiet, peaceful. I hear footsteps and a head pokes into the room.
"All right?"
"Fine." I'm laying across the bed almost sideways, my head facing the
door. Heero pauses for a moment in the doorway, then turns and goes
down the hall to the office. After a while I can hear the rapid clicks
of him typing. I could start screaming and he'd never notice, that's
how absorbed he can be in that laptop.
My eyes close.
The pain in my head dulls, coming in almost gentle waves. It's a dim
discomfort.
I sleep.
And I dream.
...
It's dark.
Not natural dark, but shadows. The buildings soar high above,
blocking the sun. What lurks in the shadows?
I can't see.
I move by touch.
Mole. I am a mole underground, this is my home. I feel safe despite
the dangers. I feel the need.
It is bright ahead, my journey is ending. The passage behind me is
long, the space in front decreasing. I approach the light, the sound.
Traffic in the street. Pedestrians. I've cut time using this shortcut.
My passage between the giants. The towering buildings.
This light before me fades, everything goes dark. I break into a run.
Where has the light gone? Where is the street?
Someone grabs me.
I will scream.
A hand over my mouth stops me. A hand on my braid guides me. Back,
back into the shadows. A voice in my ear laughs. Harsh.
I will fight.
Someone hits me.
The darkness overwhelms.
...
"Duo."
I wake with a start, looking up at the pair of cobalt looking down at
me. Another nightmare. Did I cry out?
"It's four o'clock."
Heero doesn't look concerned. He looks stoic. As usual. I nod and sit
up, wincing as the pain in my head returns.
"Do you still have a headache?"
I nod, crawling across the bed for my medicine, "Feels like a bunch
of hippos tap dancing on my skull. Or a brain slushie. Cherry
flavored."
"You're so weird," Heero says, shaking his head. I grin back at him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I hope I didn't lose anyone with the lovey-supportive
Heero scenes. There's lost more angst coming. Duo fans will hate me...
I'm using drugs available now even though this takes place in the
future. If Zechs and Co. can walk around dressed like 18th century
generals, Duo can take 21st century drugs.
Baka - idiot
onna - women
Feedback/review greatly appreciated (Anonymous reviews now accepted!
I hadn't realized I was blocking them) More chapters soon.
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
www.geocities.com/manzokubiscuit/index.html