Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Completing the Silence ❯ Misplaced Trust ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

LSE // 7-17-02
(Completing the Silence - Chapter Six: Misplaced Trust)
rated: PG13 - violence, language, content
shounen-ai/yaoi

Misplaced Trust



Stepping out of the men's room, Heero gathered his cart and wheeled
it off towards the food once more. If they could only see their
Perfect Soldier now, docilely pushing a cart through a grocery store,
his soldier's mind operating only on how to get the best buys. Since
it was closest, he checked the snack aisle hoping to find Duo.

He looked down the list made up five different people's handwriting.
Wufei's stark lettering asked for potato chips. No kind specified.
Heero spent a moment looking at the labels and went with plain, store-
brand. One in twelve wins a free stick of gum. Next on the list,
Trowa's handwriting politely pointed out the need for frozen dinners.

He'd told Duo to meet up with him in frozen food. Crossing off
Wufei's potato chips, he wheeled the cart towards the tall cases
towards the middle of the store. Heero frowned, checking both aisles
of freezers.

In the middle of the aisle, leaning against the case, was a bad of
cookies. Chocolate chip, Duo's favorite. Even though he knew it was
irrational, Heero felt a wave of fear. Someone, he knew Duo wasn't in
the store.

"Excuse me, sir?" He started to glare, but instead nodded politely
towards the store manager, indicating the man had his attention.
"Are you looking for someone?"

One eyebrow raised, "Yes. A young man with a long braid."

The store manager cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. Heero
narrowed his eyes in impatience. The manager offered a smile, "I'm
afraid you just missed him. He left no more than a few minutes ago.
Is he...all right? In the head, I mean."

"Left? What do you mean he left?"

"Went outside..."

Heero abandoned his cart and ran past the manager and startled
shoppers, nearly colliding with a housewife. He shoved past them all
and burst into the parking lot, eyes scanning franticly. Their car
was still there, Duo hadn't hot-wired it or anything like that. He
approached it cautiously, peering inside. Duo's coat still lay over
the back-seat.

Going back inside, he found customer service and asked to use the
phone. Taking a business card out of his pocket, he pressed nine to
get an outside line and dialed.

"Hello, offices of Doctor Ruini."

---------------------------------------------------------- ------------

The street before me explodes in dazzling intensity of light. So
bright. I'm running still. I scare a few people, bursting out into
the street so suddenly. I don't look. I don't care. I have to get out
the alley. I can't let it catch me.

Out, into the street. Someone screams. Tires squeal.

Time stops.

The car hits me and I look up for one startled instant, my eyes
meeting the driver's. And then I'm on the car's hood, metal beneath
me. I roll into the windshield, it cracks but doesn't break.

The car screams to a halt. I'm flying, tumbling off the hood. I drop
to the ground with an empty thud. Pain explodes in my head. I smell
blood.

They're gathering around me, like vultures to the kill. They're
talking. About me. Talking about me.

The sky swirls black, everything's getting fuzzy. I can't hear them,
I can't see them.

The alley, I can see the alley. Darkness. Everywhere I turn.

There is no escape.

No. Escape. I must escape.

The driver's talking, loudly, protesting it isn't his fault. There's
a lady beside me, she tells me she's a nurse, asks if I'm all right.
A little boy stares at me, I bet he thinks it's just so cool. His
mother is whispering to the woman beside her. She saw the whole thing,
she tells the woman, He just ran out, from there. She points to the
alley.

I stand up, the nurse is trying to get me to wait for an ambulance.

I don't listen. I can't listen to her.

I'm so confused.

I tell her something, that I'm fine, I laugh. The crowd stares at me,
did he just laugh, they ask another. I'm smiling, assuring the nurse
and the driver. The driver is so relieved he hasn't killed me that he
doesn't care that his wind shield is cracked.

I stumble away despite the nurse's insistence.

Our house is just beyond the park.

I'm close to home, now.

Our car is in the driveway, I can't wait to tell Heero his joke
sucked. I'll tell him I knew right away, that as soon as he sent me
for the cookies I knew he was setting me up. Another car is in the
driveway. It is Saturday, why is the doctor at the house?

I walk into the open garage and through the connecting door into the
kitchen. Voices, talking loudly, in the living room grow quiet when I
walk in. My Maxwell grin in place, I go into the living room.

Heero jumps up out of his chair and the doctor stands as well.

My head hurts, I tell them.

Heero's pale, staring at me.

Darkness everywhere.

------------------------------------------------------ ----------------

I can hear them. It's a swirl of voices, a confusing maelstrom I must
fight through. Consciousness looms just this side of reality, I float
among the waves of black and red. The rising levels of pain subsiding,
contracting, absorbing me into their fury.

Someone dabs a wet cloth on my head, I turn away from the touch.

Am I back at the hospital? The clean white walls and starched nurses,
cold Heero and disgusting food. I want a roommate this time. They're
still talking. I want to hear them. It's quiet except for their
voices. I shove aside lingering haze and delve into consciousness,
but recoiling, as the assault of pain drifts in.

"He's been acting strange ever since the change in medication, could
that be it?"

"Possibly, but unlikely. He seemed to respond well to the MAO
inhibitors, but that might have been nothing more than a moment of
clarity. These things are tricky, Mister Yuy."

"Can't we try the other medicine again?"

"No. The side effects he was experiencing would only increase. Death
would be a possibility down that road. The first suicide attempt,
does anyone know why?"

"He won't tell me, I've asked. This just isn't like Duo! He's not
crazy."

"Our brains are remarkable, Mister Yuy, but they aren't invincible.
Perhaps the stresses of his life have finally caught up with him. You
must admit his life was filled with more than enough pain."

"The war..."

"All the more reason. I'm afraid you have no other choice. He is
clearly a danger to himself. You're very lucky nothing worse has
happened yet."

"I told him I wouldn't..."

"I'm sorry, Mister Yuy."

------------------------------------------------------------ ----------

I've thought of running.

Running away, maybe out into space again, to the colonies. Back to
the L2 colonies, back where I came from. I could get into the car and
leave. I could find Hilde, she sent me a card like Christmas. She's
like a sister to me.

They'd catch me. I couldn't get downstairs without someone asking me
questions. Doctor Ruini sent the order already. Heero signed it.
Heero signed it while I was asleep. I haven't seen in since I came
home. Saw his pale face. Heard him damn me to this hell.

I'm supposed to me packing. Wufei's right outside in the hall, I can
see him peek in every so often. I pick a handful of hair ties from
the drawer and place them into my suitcase. I've already got
underwear and socks. Jeans. I'll need sweaters and shirts. I'm
wearing my standard black priest outfit already and have the
duplicate packed away.

Now that I have my clothes packed I don't know what to do. Could I
crawl out the window? I imagine Trowa's outside patrolling or
something. Heero keeps a gun under the bed. I bet he's forgotten it's
under there. I could hold Wufei hostage, make my way into space.

Or I could just kill them.

Or myself.

I won't do it, though, even as I think the horrible schemes I know I
won't. I won't run, I won't get the gun. I'll pack my things and go
downstairs and I'll let them put me away in a padded room and drug me
up on reds, yellows, blues.

Because Heero signed it already. Even though he promised, swore to
me. He would never let them take me.

And suddenly I don't care anymore what they do to me. Because Heero
signed it, and it doesn't matter what I say. I'm not sure I want to
stay. Because Heero signed my life away. Signed me into Hell.

I've escaped the horrors of the war and had my ten good years with
Heero, blissfully exploiting the joys of our love. The other shoe has
dropped. All the people I've killed will laugh as they take me away,
and the one person I always thought would be there for me sent the
order for their mockery.

I can't laugh my way free of this one.

Wufei doesn't say anything. No one says anything. It's quiet. I look
around the room for anything else I might want. Even though I hate
him, even if he's forsaken me, I take a picture of me and Heero from
its frame. I place it atop my clothes in the suitcase.

In the silence of my doom, I pick up my baggage and go downstairs.
I'll pretend it's a trip and Wufei is simply seeing me off, not
escorting me like some prisoner. Because I am a prisoner. I feel as
if I'm going to the electric chair. Doctor Ruini is waiting by the
front door with Trowa, Quatre and... Heero.

I stop before them. There's nothing I can say to them. They've
already made it clear what they think. Quatre's tearing up, Trowa's
still as stoic as ever. And Heero's avoiding looking at me.

"I trusted you."

Heero lifts his eyes to mine, that cool blue gaze settling without
fear into my soul, "I trusted you."

My hands clench into fists, "You promised."

Heero looks away again, "It's for your own good."

"You promised. You promised, Heero!"

Doctor Ruini takes my suitcase. "We need to be leaving, Duo." I glare
once more at Heero and follow her out the door.

"I did it for you!" Heero shouts, starting to follow but stopping in
the doorway.

I turn to face the house as the doctor climbs into her car. "You gave
up on me," I accuse, "even after you swore..." I shake my head,
voicing choking off. I throw the suitcase into the back-seat and
climb in. The door closes on whatever reply Heero makes.

I stare out the window at him, however, as the car backs up.

Ai shiteru, Heero...

I look away to hide my tears.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Author's Notes: I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. The
angst has been well received, so I don't feel bad for writing it. I
have a feeling the rating might change pretty soon...
I want to hear from you guys! If you have any questions, comments,
complaints, whatever, please give me feedback or leave a review.
If you like what you've read, tell me! More chapters coming.
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.
LSE - "Violet" (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)
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