Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Complicated ❯ Complicated ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Bandai and all those other hotshot companies do. Please don't sue me, all I have is $30 and that is what I am saving up for a new video game.

Notes: I am not usually insane, but for those of you who know me as Aria that might not be the smartest thing to say. I was literally told to write this fic by one of my dear friends Duo-chan and it has been bugging me ever since. I'm sorry about the weird writing style, but it would take me forever to redo it and I just want to get this thing posted and get Duo off of my back. Love you all. Read and Review pretty please.

WARNING! Lemon scene, sap, lots of fluff on minor pairings. m/m love!!

"blah, blah, blah" = speaking/talking

blah, blah, blah = thinking, depending on the POV at the time

`blah, blah, blah' = your inner voice/conscience whatever you call it

Pairings: 5x4, 2x3, past 1x4

Rating: Long NC-17 lemon

Complicated

I looked down at the body that was neatly covered by a sheet. I had just identified him and I felt totally dead by the sensation.

"We're sorry for your loss Mr. Winner. We did everything we could to try and save him, but this time it wasn't enough. I'm sorry." I looked at the blonde man who seemed no older than 20 staring at the body of someone so obviously close to him.

I knew I should be feeling sad right now. Upset for the loss of a very good companion and lover. `Ha, you call him your lover! What he did to you, couldn't be called love in the faintest sense.' He...he just didn't know how to express himself in any other way. It was the only form of caring he could ever give. I don't blame him for that. `Listen to yourself! Look at your back if you want proof of his love! He hasn't let you talk to pretty much anyone outside of work and you know you were miserable!' I love him... `You `loved' him. Past tense if you can call that loving. If you didn't follow his every order what did he do? He beat you. Even broke your ribs once I believe.' STOP! `At lease admit the truth to yourself Quatre, it's killing you on the inside.'

I watched as the young man fought an internal battle with himself. A nurse came up behind me and whispered something in my ear. I nodded and she rushed out. Not long after I saw three more men come rushing in. One with a long braid ran over and captured Mr. Winner in a fierce hug and whispered in his ear. One with a rather strange hairdo came up to him next and put a hand on his shoulder offering comfort. I waited for the third boy to approach but he never did. He just stood afar watching the others. Strange......why doesn't he join his friends?

I felt instead of heard the others come into the room. The moment Duo spotted me he ran over and enveloped me in a tight hug. Even Trowa came over and assured me that he was there. Did Wufei even bother to come? A quick glance around the room proved that yes he did come, but was maintaining his distance from me. Just as well, we didn't part on the best of circumstances. Although these last 3 years have been good to him. Wufei had grown a lot and was now about 6'1". I had only grown a few more inches, but I rested at a comfortable 5'8". Duo was still very short, probably still suffering from severe malnutrition when he was younger. Trowa had grown a bit, but being naturally tall he hadn't needed to grow much. My heart twisted when Wufei locked eyes with me before nodding his head and walking out the door. My heart clenched again and I wanted him to come back badly.

***Flashback***

"Quatre can I talk to you for a second?" I twisted my hands behind my back and took a deep breath.

"Sure Wufei. What's up?" I closed my last suitcase and turned to him with a smile on my face. "Is something wrong?"

I quickly shook my head but then sighed and then nodded.

"Well that is an interesting answer. Yes and No? Care to explain that?"

"Yes. I care about someone quite a lot."

"I don't see why that is a problem Wufei." I looked at him when he gave an exasperated sigh. "What else?"

"He.......well......he...." God why can't I just tell him!

"Waitasec! You're gay?!"

I smiled at the confused look on his face.

"But I thought you were married! Well, of course you told us you were forced into it so I guess that makes sense, you also always hated women. Wow, I never would have guessed." I blinked at Wufei who was staring at me with a relaxed smile on his face and a look in his eyes I didn't recognize. Before I had a chance to try and understand it, it was gone and his eyes were hard and cold once again. "So who do you like?"

I sighed and looked down at the angel who had my heart but could never return it. "I like someone who is already with another person. But I care about him so much it hurts!"

I had no idea Wufei..... "It sounds like you are in love with him Wufei. Why don't you tell him?"

"I can't tell him. He already has someone to love and he doesn't want me along with who he has and I will not burden him with my unwanted love. I don't want him to be unhappy, but at the same time I don't want to be unhappy. I know that is selfish but it hurts too much to know that he isn't mine."

"Do you love him?"

"I......I.....Yes. Yes I do. I love him so much I am willing to give up my happiness and my life so he could be happy."

"You should still tell him Wufei. He deserves to know." He looked at me then and the eyes I saw were tormented.

"Do you really believe that Quatre?"

"Yes I do." Wufei's eyes had left mine and he was fidgeting. I wondered what was causing him such discomfort.

I took a deep breath and met his eyes stubbornly pushing back the tears that threatened to escape. "Quatre Raberba Winner I love you. I have ever since I got to know you, your spirit and your kindness. You have my heart captive and I don't want it to be freed. I love you so much it hurts." I waited for him to scream, yell, attack me, anything!

"Oh Wufei.........I'm so sorry......"

With those words my whole world managed to crash around me and it was several seconds before I realized that he wasn't done speaking.

"......I.....I'm in love with Heero, and......and I'm moving into his apartment in a few hours."

Something inside me shattered, never to be put back together again. Desperation rose up in me and I grabbed Quatre by the shoulders spinning him around, crushing my lips to his. After a second I pulled away astonished by what I had just done. I turned and ran out of the room never looking back.

I touched my lips in surprise as I watched Wufei flee. My heart was pounding in my chest and my lips were tingling. "Wufei..." I wondered if I had made the right decision because my heart and mind were screaming for him to come back.

*** End Flashback ***

Wufei had left once again, and once again my heart was telling me I should be running after him. I shook my head to clear my thought for a moment as I watched Duo and Trowa. Duo was staring at the body of his best friend.

"I always knew one of these days you would die for the mission Heero. It didn't suit you to go down any other way." I tried to speak some more but my voice didn't seem to work. I broke down and buried my face in Trowa's shoulder. I felt his arms wrap me tight in his embrace, letting me know that I wasn't alone.

It suddenly hit me that I would probably never have any one to hold and comfort me ever again. `Not that he did much of that in the first place....' My loneliness hit me and left me gasping. I fell to the floor and buried my face in my knees and let the floodgates open. Tears came spilling down my cheeks in waves and I couldn't seem to stop. I felt warm arms pick me up and a soft voice soothed me. I felt myself leave the floor as I was picked up and placed in a cold hard bed. Without the warm arms and gentle voice the fear and loneliness returned. I curled up in a tight ball seeking comfort within myself and cried until I fell asleep.

~ ~

I woke up to a familiar scene. I was in my four poster bed in my home with the comforter wrapped around me. Was it all a dream? Did I just imagine everything. I reached over to the side of the bed and felt nothing but air. "Oh god, it was real!" I heard footsteps outside my bedroom and a gentle knock on the door.

"Hey Q-man, you awake yet?" I opened the door and saw that he was indeed awake but his eyes were haunted. Not the kind of haunted from the horrors of war that I was familiar with, but the haunted look of having lost a dearly loved one and realizing that you were never going to see them again. I had known that sort of pain too, but not in the same amount of torment that Quatre was going through. I gave him his tray of food and watched as he began to eat it mechanically. I started to leave when his raspy voice reached me.

"I shouldn't be this upset Duo. I'm not even sure if I should be upset at all."

"Of course you should! How could you think that! You just lost someone you loved and cared about, you'd better damn well be sad!"

"Can you love someone who hurts you?"

"Huh?"

"I guess you could call it S+M fun gone whacko, but Heero had a harder time learning to express his feelings than you can imagine. He was a soldier, born and raised around killing and blood. That is all he has ever known and that was all he was able to give in love. At first everything was perfect. We made love, did some pretty kinky stuff and learned more and more about each other. That didn't bother me. That however, lead to heavier S+M. I didn't mind for the most part, I thought he would never hurt me."

"Quat are you saying..."

I laughed. "The first time he actually cut me with that knife of his wasn't that bad. More like a paper cut than anything really horrible. The bad stuff came after when I never protested it."

"Q! Why did you never say anything?! For that matter why haven't I heard from you in three years?"

"He enjoyed it and it wasn't too painful so I never said anything. When it started to get really bad I told him to stop but he didn't. When I threatened to call you guys and tell you everything he beat me." My voice became the barest of whispers. "He either broke or bruised all of my ribs and thankfully my arm only received a hairline crack." I looked up at Duo and saw that his fists were clenched and his posture was totally rigid.

"HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THAT TO YOU QUATRE!!!!!!" I took a deep breath but my anger didn't subside. "If that bastard wasn't already dead I'd kill him, best friends or not. You don't deserve that Q-man." I shook him gently. "No one deserves that. God, if you had died and we wouldn't have found out I don't know what I would have done." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. After a few minutes I pulled away and smiled at him. "Now finish up your breakfast, have a nice long shower, get dressed and come downstairs. We'll sit back, relax, get tans, go swimming and just get some plain R & R okay Quat?"

"Sounds good to me Duo. I'll be down in a bit." He smiled and left the room. I finished what was left of my pancakes and O.J. before putting my tray aside and stripped off my clothes before stepping under the warmth of the shower. I scrubbed every part of me thoroughly and massaged my head with a nice shampoo. I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower grabbing a fluffy towel to dry off with. My hair was tousled but at the moment I just didn't care. I was at home and that meant I didn't have to look perfect as always. I pulled on a pair of tight jeans. I'll have to buy some new ones, these fit quite snugly. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my bare torso before reaching into my wardrobe and pulled out a black turtleneck. This stuff is all a little snug. Looks like I'll have to be doing some serious shopping. I didn't feel like wearing shoes so I just pulled on a pair of socks and headed downstairs. I heard noises in the living room and took off at a brisk walk in that direction. I made it to the doorway but couldn't seem to stop.

"Hey Quat....." I watched as Quatre went past the doorway, tried to stop but kept going. I heard a loud "OOF!" and was out of my seat in seconds wondering what in the hell had happened. I looked down the hall and saw Quatre sitting sideways on the floor glaring at his feet and blushing lightly. I came closer and heard gruff mumbling about socks and how damnable they are. "Hey Q, are you all right?

I looked up at Duo. "Yes, I'm fine Duo, I'd forgotten how slippery these floors are and was walking faster than I should have. *1* I got up and dusted my ass off. Duo came around behind me and started brushing my back off to aid in the process. I froze and tensed immediately. He saw this and backed off right away.

"Sorry Q-man I didn't realize..." Shit! Smooth move Maxwell. Make him remember exactly what he doesn't want to. Real Suave.

"It's okay Duo, you didn't know so don't worry about it."

"Come on, as soon as Wuffers gets back we'll go swimming if that's okay with you of course Q-man?"

"Of course it is fine Duo. I didn't protest that time when the living room and half the parlor were covered in chocolate syrup and you and Trowa were running around in your boxers did I?" *2* I saw a faint blush stain both of their cheeks and Duo shifted nervously. "Well the servants weren't too happy with the predicament. But they lived through it."

"But Quatre!!! We were staying in Hershey, Pennsylvania how can you not expect me to go chocolate crazy?!" I saw a smile start on his face and I grinned in return. "You know it was fun!"

"Oh yes, it was fun for you when I stumbled in have no idea what was going on and ended up flat on my back COVERED from head to toe in chocolate syrup!" I saw him trying to suppress giggles, but little snickers were popping through. I also heard what sounded like laughter coming from the Living room where I though only Trowa was. I started laughing myself as Duo, Trowa and I reminisced about that very interesting day. I heard the front door slam open and jumped slightly.

"MAXWELL!!!! I SWEAR IF I RUN INTO ONE MORE OF YOUR TRAPS THAT LEAVE ME SOAKING WET YOUR BRAID WILL NOT LAST THE NIGHT!!!" I stomped into the Living room with my shoes squeaking with every step and driving me absolutely nuts. When I stepped into the room, my hair was down, clothes dripping wet, I froze when I heard what had to be Quatre's laughter rising up from behind the couch. I came closer and saw that Maxwell had Quatre on the floor, had straddled him and was proceeding to tickle him mercilessly. God Maxwell I would give anything to switch positions with you right now. I cleared my throat and they all froze and looked at me. I nodded my head in Quatre's general direction before turning away and feeling my heart clench.

"Hey Wuffers, ya gonna come swimming with us? I promise it'll be fun!"

"No thank you baka. Anything you make out as fun is usually harmful."

"Yeah right, like what?"

"Ping Pong,"

"Hey, that was an accident! It's not like I meant the give you two black eyes."

"Roller Blading,"

"It is so not my fault that you have no sense of balance Wuffie!"

"Horseback Riding, and it is Wufei Maxwell. Not Wuffie."

"Stop picking on me! I said duck, but you didn't see the branch in time, that was not my fault!"

I took in a deep breath to state more then shook my head at the pointless banter. "I won't be swimming I have meditation and other things to attend to." I couldn't be around Quatre anymore, I knew I would be leaving soon because my heart couldn't take it now that he was awake. I heard him ask my to stay, and go swimming but I shook my head. I knew I couldn't stay even if he didn't. I made it to my room and shut the door before jumping on the bed and burying my face in the pillow. Three years. Three years and the feeling hasn't gone away at all. If anything, it has intensified since he came back. I know he knows that I like...no love him, he must think that I'll try and make a move on him now that Heero is not here anymore. My just being here is scaring him away from me.

I watched Wufei turn to leave. "Please don't leave on my account. You are welcome to come swimming if you wish and you may stay as long as you like." He seemed to freeze for an instant then shook his head and continued his way upstairs. For some reason I felt like I wanted to cry.

"I don't know what the heck is up with him. I'm almost positive that if we had asked him to come swimming yesterday he would have said yes; without a doubt. That's strange, he told me he had nothing to do for a while and was planning on staying here as long as you would allow."

I looked over at Duo when he finished his unusual serious speech. "Really? Hmmmm..." I muttered to no one really but myself.

"Oh well, his loss! Come on Quat! Go get changed so we can go swimming!"

"I'll be there in a minute Duo, go ahead without me, I'll be there in a second." He nodded his head and spun around to Trowa, pulling him toward their bedroom. I followed to where Wufei had left the room to meditate or something. I opened the door to his room. I saw him on his bed with his face buried in the pillow mumbling to himself. "Hey Wufei are you all right?"

I froze when I heard my angel right beside my bedside. What is he doing here? "I'm fine Winner, is there anything you specifically needed?" I knew my tone was harsh, but he was too close to me and it was starting to affect me.

"No, of course not Wufei, you just left suddenly and I was wondering if it....if it was because of me. Duo told my that your mood seemed totally opposite to yesterday, I just wanted to make sure that you were all right." I started fidgeting as I waited for his response.

Because of you, only indirectly, you just don't know it. "No Quatre it's not because of you, I'm...something called me, is calling my back to L1. I will leave directly so I don't inconvenience all of you anymore." I know I'm hurting you little one, but you're hurting me too. I have to go, it feels like my heart is being ripped out because I know you still love Heero. There's no place in your big heart for me as anything more than a friend. I don't blame you Quatre, you are the last one responsible.

"So soon.....so I guess this means that you don't...." I didn't mean for him to hear the end of my sentence, I was just mumbling my ramblings to myself.

"Don't what? Don't want to go swimming? I think I'll pass on that. I haven't had the greatest reputation with Duo's game ideas."

`Okay now would be a good time to end this conversation before...' "No, no...I meant..." My voice dropped below a whisper. "If you...if you still..." `...You do something stupid....' I dropped my eyes and shut up that little voice in the back of my head. I stared at my feet as if there were something fascinating with the socks I had on. As the seconds stretched on I was only met with stony silence. I knew the answer now. I turned and began to exit the room. Why does this hurt so much? I thought I loved Heero...Wait, there should be no doubt in my mind.

Why is he asking that? He couldn't possibly return those feelings could he? Who am I kidding, I could never win his heart over Heero. I pushed tears back as I heard Quatre start to leave. "I believe that there are types of love that last forever and beyond. Like the kind of love that Duo and Trowa share. I had deluded myself into thinking that....that, well nevermind what I thought, but I had once believed that I deserved that kind of love with the one I cared about, but it wasn't to be. Not even love, despite who you are waiting for can sustain horrible pain. The pain of never having the one you love. Goodbye Quatre Raberba Winner, it has been an honor knowing and loving you." With that said I finished packing my last bag, grabbed it, then walked out the door. I made sure that I didn't look back.

I didn't hear some of Wufei's speech, I had stopped listening after he said he thought he deserved the same kind of love with the one he cared about. I knew that he meant me and I was shocked. As much as I had loved him... `you said had....' ...Heero hadn't been ready to make any sort of lifetime commitment. It was hard for his to accept a steady relationship, but Duo and Trowa were engaged! Wufei wanted that with me? Oh Allah, he knew Heero couldn't love me like that. Is that why he waited? Was that all he wanted? To fuck me? But he said he wanted what Duo and Trowa had. I halted my mental goings-on when I noticed one very critical thing. Wufei wasn't here. "Shit, I have to stop him so I have a chance to figure this whole damn thing out." I ran out into the hallway and collided with Duo.

Quatre came running out of fei fei's room. Surprise, surprise. He ran into me since he couldn't tell exactly what he was doing. "What's up? You and Wuffers gettin' some action?" I knew something was wrong just by looking at him.

I thought I heard Duo trying to make fun of me, but one thing was on my mind. "Where's Wufei?" He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. Shit he's moving fast. I mumbled something about an apology in Duo's direction and headed as quickly as I could to the nearest exit. I didn't think he would try to exit out the front door, I had servants there to inform me if he leaves. I kept heading toward the side door I though he would leave through. Why am I so worried about him leaving? `Don't question it right now, just run after him.' I doubled my speed and caught a flash of white around a corner. I was sprinting when I spun around the corner and saw him hurrying out the door. "Wufei stop!" He paused for a moment then hurried even faster out the door.

I knew the minute Quatre stopped listening to me. He didn't seem to be paying attention at all. Well I guess I know how he feels. Why should that surprise me? It didn't come as a shock, in fact, I had been expecting it. Time to go then. I finished talking and he was standing there frozen. I said goodbye and made my way down the hallway as quickly and as quietly as I could manage with two suitcases. I knew I had to take a side door since Winner had servants at the front door. He isn't My Little One, he never was, he is just plain Winner, nothing more. I knew my heart felt like it was being torn apart and being stomped on. I am not weak, I will get past this. I shoved my pain away and moved toward the door. I heard his voice and froze for a second before throwing it away and kept going. I was almost to my motorcycle. I forgot about being quiet and started to dash toward my bike, however I saw the ever-present Shinigami standing in my way. "Out of my way Maxwell, I have to leave."

After I had seen Quatre and Wufei emerge from his room, Wufei with suitcases I knew something was wrong. I had run ahead of Wuffers and I was waiting for him to come to his motorcycle to try and escape. I saw him come around the corner and I deliberately stepped in his way. "And why do you have to leave us so soon Wu? I know you think he loved Heero but did you ever consider that maybe it was because Heero just confessed his feelings for him before you? I know he cared about the both of you. When Heero told him and you disappeared did you think that he would rather have no one? He was lonely like the rest of us, so he took what he could get. Right now though, I think he is just confused." I saw Quatre coming and I knew I had to wrap this up. "You're making him feel stuff he thought he should only feel with Heero. Since he thought he loved Heero these new feelings are making him awfully confused. Wait for him, so he can try and figure this out. Running will make it worse, trust me."

"And how would you know that Maxwell?" I glared at him.

"I know that because almost the exact same thing happened to Trowa and I." The shock registered on his face was priceless. "Trust me fei." I watched Quatre come panting up and I disappeared into the shadows so Quatre and fei could have their own time together. I was going to find Trowa and cuddle with him until I felt better. Talking to Wufei had made an unpleasant amount of memories surge up and I needed him to comfort me. I hate admitting that to myself. I smiled then. At least I knew he would understand. I found Trowa in our room and the minute he saw me and he jumped off the bed and wrapped me in his arms. I buried my face in his neck letting the warmth of his body seep into mine. "Thanks Trowa, I needed that."

"The pleasure is all mine Duo."

I watched Quatre come up to me as I thought back over what Duo had said and if it were true I had almost made the worst mistake of my life.

I don't know what made him stop since none of my pleading or asking had worked, but I thought I had seen someone with him a second ago. "Thank you for stopping Wufei." I got only silence from him. I mentally gulped and took a shaky breath. "Don't you want to go swimming? Duo said you had wanted to go for quite a few days now. And..."

"Stop sidestepping the issue Winner! Now what is it?" I knew there was no cause for my yelling, but this was the guy who had ripped out my heart then stomped on it.

"Damnit Wufei!! Did you ever pause to think how I was feeling during all of this instead of just yourself?! The man I thought I was in love with was just killed, but I can't find myself weeping for him! Then on top of all that shit another person who I thought I wasn't interested in anymore appears and I find myself feeling ten times more than what I felt with Heero! Okay?! So I get a bit of license on the crap I am dealing with!" My chest was heaving as I thought back over what I had said. I felt my heart rise into my throat as I realized I had practically told Wufei that I loved him and I wasn't even sure. Shit, well that means I've pretty much screwed this all up.

I had never ever heard Quatre speak that harshly to anyone. It shocked the hell out of me since he was always polite, even during the war he apologized for killing the soldiers, and gave them the choice of surrendering beforehand. I knew I had to say something and fast. "Listen, Quatre..."

"What, I'm not Winner anymore? Why this sudden change of heart? What changed your mind so suddenly?"

I winced. The words bit into me, but I knew I deserved every bit of it for hurting him as badly as I did. "You were never Winner to me. In fact I think I've been calling you Quatre..." and My Little One "...since the war was over and we had all gotten through it."

I knew what I had to do. I had to make sure he wasn't going to just fuck me. I had to give him one more test to make sure he would follow me no matter what. "That's nice to know Wufei. Anything else you'd like to try lying to me with? You're not very good at it you know. Goodbye." I turned and walked back to the house. It has been three years though. For him to still feel that way after all of that time....NO! I must do this for my own satisfaction. I walked back to the house and into my bedroom. I pulled on a pair of swimtrunks and a deep blue shirt to cover my back. Then I headed outside where Duo and Trowa were snuggling together on a sunchair. When I got closer I noticed that they were not only snuggling, but making out too, with Duo on top of Trowa. I cleared my throat loudly causing Duo to fall off and into the pool. He came up a second later dripping wet with his hair unraveled and flowing around him. He was frowning at me while I laughed and I heard snickers from over where Trowa was sitting up on the lawn chair they had been lounging on.

"What's the deal Q-man!? Don't do that!!!! You know I hate being snuck up on!" I watched as he only began to laugh harder and then beautiful laughter erupted from my right.

I was surprised when I started laughing. It just seemed to come out of me. Duo made such a cute and funny picture at the same time. I think that is something only he can accomplish while soaking wet, like something from my dreams.

"Great Q, now even Trowa is laughing at me."

I shook my head. Duo, trying to glare while dripping wet with his hair floating around him made a funnier picture than you could imagine. Trowa's laughing had surprised me, but I was glad he felt open enough to do that around me. We were close friends, and by the way he was acting, that hadn't changed in the three years I was away.

I watched as Trowa came toward me and offered his hand to help me. A wicked idea came into my head as I lifted both hands up out of the water. He turned and offered me both of his hands. I swam up toward him and grabbed them. His grip tightened so he could pull me out but I launched myself away from the wall still holding on to him and pulled him into the water. I lunged away and waited for him to come up. He rose out of the water spluttering and looking around for me wildly. When he spotted me his eyes narrowed then promptly closed. I waited for around thirty secondly then, in the matter of less than a second, he opened them and jumped at me, having me locked between his arms and being thoroughly kissed. What the hell?! His arms brought me against him and I wasn't against the idea as much. Okay, this is nice... Still it wasn't enough for me at the moment since I felt his arousal against my stomach. I lunged up in the water and wrapped my legs around his waist and started grinding against him. Then, he was gone. I splashed down in the water and looked around stupidly wondering where in the hell Trowa had gotten to. It didn't surprise me that Wufei and Quatre were locked in a passionate kiss. They weren't holding yet, but Wuffers stepped back, breaking the kiss and holding his arms out. He said something as did Quatre. They were silent for a while before Quatre threw himself into his arms.

I was making my way to the pool area, after having looked in his room and half the house for him to see and hear him laugh. I had heard that sound a lot during the war but I could never get enough of it. And now that it had been over three years since I had heard it, it was especially important to me. My heart clenched tight and almost felt like it would break in two. He would never laugh that way for me and I think I just realized it. He looked so damn happy and carefree in that one moment, he truly was an angel. But, he would never be my angel, he had made that quite clear a little while ago. Duo was up to his usual antics as I watched him pull Trowa into the pool only to have the tables turned as he was attacked by Trowa. Quatre turned around and I watched a crystalline tear fall off his cheek, right before he ran into me.

I knew a setup when I saw one, but apparently Trowa wasn't expecting it from his lover. He was attacked yes, but he turned around and retaliated himself. I want that... I wasn't talking about a small romp in a pool, I was saying I wanted the love that shone so obviously in both their eyes. I hadn't had or wanted that much with Heero, simple commitment was so difficult to get from him, I had never thought to want more. What I was beginning to think was that I could very well put Wufei and myself in their places much easier than I could have put myself and Heero. If I had tried to pull Heero into a pool he would have pulled out a gun from somewhere and shot me. I watched and Duo and Trowa embrace and closed my eyes to pretend that it was Heero and I, but the image of Wufei and me was too strong. I turned around. That would never happen, I drove him away. But isn't that what I deserve for telling him that stuff. A single tear dripped down my cheek right before I ran into a hard body. Two strong arms came around me before I had a chance to fall anywhere. I looked up and saw Wufei smiling at me with a tender expression in his eyes and on his face.

I made sure that I caught him as he seemed to bounce off of me. He looked up at me as I caught him. His expression was one of complete and total trust on his face and in his eyes. With that one look I knew I was lost forever. I'll regret this later. I grabbed him by his shoulders and forced my mouth down upon his. He tasted so sweet and I couldn't stop kissing him. Perfect... I was snapped back to reality a second later.

He seemed to just stare at me for a long time before he swooped down and kissed me. He was pouring so much emotion into that kiss and it was singing through my body. I closed my eyes and pushed my mouth against his. After an eternity he pulled away and there was a look of panic on his face. He wasn't meeting my eyes at all. "Wufei..." Still nothing. "fei..." A slight flinch, but other than that nothing. "My fei..." That got his attention real quick. His eyes locked with mine.

Damnit to hell. After that disgusting and dishonorable show I couldn't face him. He called my name twice but I ignored him. When he said my though I couldn't help but lock eyes with him. Our lips seemed to meet on their own. We continued to kiss until we were breathless then I felt him pull back.

"I had to be sure."

"I also had to be sure. I...I love you Wufei, my fei beyond all else." He opened up his arms and I rushed into them as I was pulled close against his body. Nothing I had ever done before felt like this. I seemed to fit perfectly into his arms as I buried my face in his neck. Whenever Heero had held me there was always a sense of underlying danger, something I could never quite trust. But with Wufei he let all his guards down and I felt safe, like he wouldn't let anything happen to me. I hadn't felt safe in the longest time. I heard a quiet splash and looked over Wufei's shoulder to see Trowa and Duo slipping out of the water and heading back toward the house. The way they were both keeping their backs toward us gave me the exact reason why they weren't swimming any longer. I truly was happy that they were together and had found love in one another. Everyone had thought that Trowa and I would get together as would Heero and Duo. But in retrospect I would never wish what had happened to me on any of the other pilots. But now I had my own happiness which I praise Allah for. I broke away from Wufei before giving him a brilliant smile and tugging on his hand toward the house. I received a beautiful smile in return as I was picked up, thrown over his shoulder, and carried fireman style into his bedroom.

Of what I had to be sure about I couldn't place. There were many things, Him loving Heero still, not loving me at all, being in love with another...the list went on. My heart and mind had to be satisfied with his answers. I opened up my arms, this was the final test. He rushed into them leaving himself totally vulnerable. I wrapped my arms tightly around him swearing never to let go again. We stood there reveling in the warmth of each other until I felt him pull away. I was worried before he smiled at me and grabbed my hand, tugging my back toward the house. A sneaky idea crept into my head. I smiled back at him before picking him up and throwing him over my shoulder and carrying him to my room. I set him gently down and watched as he stretched like a contented kitten. "Happy are we?"

I smiled at Wufei and nodded my head before snuggling back into the warm, comfortable blankets that carried his scent. "Very happy. Be happier if you joined me lover mine."

"Now, how could I refuse an offer like that?" I crawled up to him and looked down at him. His hair was fanned out around his head making him look like the angel he was with a halo. "You're so beautiful...." His eyes locked with mine as I leaned down and kissed him. Our lips met gently and then with more fervor as the kiss became more heated. I swept my tongue along his lips and his mouth opened readily for me. My tongue dove into his mouth and greedily explored all of its treasures. I slowly allowed my hand to creep up his shirt. I ran a hand across his chest and he froze. I immediately stopped. Pulling away I looked down at him. "What's wrong my angel?" He locked eyes with me before rolling to the end of the bed.

"I'm sorry fei, but I think you should see this and get mad right now instead of later." He started to say something but I held up my hand. I tugged off my blue shirt keeping my back away from him. I took a deep breath. "You'll hate me for this, but Heero was the nicest lover or the nicest person. Comes from being the perfect soldier I guess. He was the reason I hadn't contacted any of you for three years. Everytime I tried to get a hold of any of you it only made it worse."

"Made what worse?" He looked ready to cry and I wanted, no needed to know why. "What's wrong koi?"

"I'll show you." I spun around letting him see my scarred back. I heard his soft gasp and waited for the yelling to start. I knew I appeared weak in his eyes and I couldn't stop the tears that trailed down my cheeks and onto the floor.

I looked at the scars covering my beloved's back and couldn't help but let a small gasp escape me. The largest one was obviously the most recent. It went straight down his spine. Anger welled up inside but I shoved it aside. That was exactly what he didn't need right now. His back was so tense as he waited for my expected anger. I climbed off of the bed and walked over so I was in front of him. His eyes were tightly clenched as he waited. I touched his chin making him look up at me. "Quatre....little one, open your eyes." He did but wouldn't look me in the eye. It didn't matter, all I needed for him was to listen. "I'm sorry." That got his attention real quick since there hadn't been any pity in my voice. My eyes were locked with his now. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help. I'm sorry that in the whole three years you were gone I didn't think to come looking for you. To me it doesn't matter what he ever did to you. You are not sullied or used in my eyes, you will always be beautiful. Trust me Quatre, my angel, I love you no matter what." I kissed him again, but this one was a more gentle kiss than the others. There was no rush, no urgency just love behind it. He seemed to melt into the kiss and fell against me. I caught him and wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me.

I felt all the emotions that fei was pouring into that kiss and smiled to myself. I settled my arms on top of his shoulder and wrapped them around his neck and brought his closer to me. He fell back on the bed with me on top of him. "Now it is my turn to have fun." I gave him a sultry smile before tugging his ever-present white shirt off and gazed down at the bronzed beauty before me. I bent down and let our lips clash together and hissed as our bare chests met, heat seeming to come pouring off of us. His hips bucked and his arousal met my own. Now when did that happen? All thought was banished as the sensations shot through me when he bucked again. I let lose a throaty moan as he flipped us over and began to remove my swimshorts. He pulled them off and they vanished to the side of the bed. "Impatient are we fei?" His eyes were radiating lust and I wasn't surprised when he flipped me over.

I looked down at the tempting and naked angel on the bed and couldn't repress a smile as he looked up at me through half-lidded eyes. I moved so I was lying on top of him and pushed our mouths together again. Our mouths clashed together and once again I savored the treasure that was Quatre. I pulled away for air after an eternity and kissed my way down his jawbone. I felt the pulse beating rapidly in his throat. I latched onto it and sucked at the skin and nipped it with my teeth. He let out a quiet whimper as I licked over it to soothe the hurt. I kissed and nipped my way down the rest of his throat and chest until I reached his nipples. I ran my tongue over one and suckled it while I pinched and played with the other.

"Oh Allah, don't stop..mmmm...feels good." He was playing with my body as if it were an instrument. He knew what I would react to and how. His hands and mouth trailed lower. I let out a low, but loud moan as his tongue dipped into my navel then began to travel lower.

I paused as I came to his straining erection. There was fluid leaking from the top. I spread the moisture with my thumb and earned a sort of gasping moan from my angel. I licked the fluid off of my thumb while he was watching me. His eyes clouded over and pure lust replaced anything and everything else. "Yummy." I whispered it to him and he bucked his hips up. I took the tip into my mouth. His body arched up and I heard my name become something like a mantra falling from his lips. I ran my tongue over the underside of his cock and nipped the tip. He whimpered again and I deep-throated him. I bobbed my head up and down a few times until he was right on the edge. I pulled away and he gave me a pleading look. "Not yet my angel." I took my hair tie out and smiled at his gasp of surprise. I reached over him and under the pillow pulling out a tube of astroglide. I flipped open the cap and squeezed some of the gel onto my fingers. I spread his legs and settled between them. I leaned forward and placed a bruising kiss on his lips while I traced one finger around his opening before pushing it gently in. He let out another moan as I inserted another finger and began a scissoring motion. He loosened up a bit more so I put in another finger and continued stretching to make sure that he would be ready. I pushed my fingers in at a different angle and felt them brush a slightly spongy spot. A strangled moan escaped him as I liberally coated my own arousal and pulled my fingers out. I lifted his legs up and then positioned myself at his entrance. He looked up at me with his eyes meeting mine in silent communication. I plunged into him in one quick thrust and was immediately surrounded by tight hot heat. It took more than all of myself self control not to move and to let him relax. "Ungh...oh Quatre...hot..."

I felt him plunge into me and bit my lip. It hurt a bit but I adjusted quickly since my dragon had paused to let me relax. I heard his attempts at talking and knew he was using all of his control not to move. I met his lips in another hot kiss and wiggled my hips to let him know I was ready. He pulled almost completely out of me before snapping his hips so he was again in me. I felt him plunge into me deeper with each thrust until I could feel him hitting my sweet spot. My body was on fire as the pace became more frenzied as we lost ourselves in the pleasure. I felt his hand on me, stroking as I raced to the pinnacle. "Wufei!" I screamed his name as I reached the peak and fell into bliss.

He was so tight, so hot. I knew I wouldn't last long. I stroked his erection and felt him come almost the second I touched it. His passage tightened around me and I couldn't hold back anymore as I followed him into ecstasy. I emptied myself into him completely before pulling out gently. I fell to the side of him and wrapped him in my arms. He snuggled up to my side and fell asleep almost instantly. "I love you my angel."

I heard Wufei's soft declaration and smiled before snuggling into his chest. "I love you too my dragon." Then sleep came over the both of us.

~ ~

I woke up the next morning to find a blonde angel sprawled across my chest. His gentle face was peaceful in slumber and I brushed a few bangs off of his forehead. Cerulean blue eyes blinked at me sleepily while I smiled up at him. "Good morning my angel, did you sleep well?"

I felt so warm and safe that I didn't want to get up for quite a while. I felt fei stir below me and smiled as our eyes met. His eyes radiated happiness, the same happiness my own were showing for sure. His lips pressed to mine gently and I leaned into the kiss. "Love you fei."

I smiled at him. "I love you too Quatre. Always and forever." He rolled off of me and I looked down at the mess we made. Then I heard his stomach grumble and mine reciprocated. "I think we need to eat something else than each other at the moment. Much as I want too..." I climbed out of bed and kissed his cheek.

"You made a joke...."

"You sound surprised." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I really have been away too long." I smiled at him. "Now let's go have that shower then breakfast." I saw an evil smirk appear. "No fei. I mean real breakfast fei-koi."

"Awwww."

"Fei, I know he's your best friend and all, but you really need to stop hanging around Duo so much. I could have sworn that was him talking."

"He helped me learn to lighten up, or as he puts it, "get that stick out of my ass." The first time I did something like that he almost fainted. So now we are in the middle of a prank war. I set a trap that left him hanging out of a tree in the middle of the garden for...quite a few hours, now he has water traps set up everywhere."

"Sounds like the Duo I know. Glad to know he hasn't changed much. Allan forbid if I were to come back and Duo be totally serious. I can't picture it."

"Neither could I my angel." I rolled away from him and fumbled in the drawer before closing my fist around a small black box and pulling it out. I rolled it around in my hand behind my back. Okay, I can do this.... `Just keep talking to yourself.' Quatre sat up and looked at me strangely.

"Is something the matter fei?" He looked up at me and our eyes locked for a second before he closed them and shook his head no. "What's wrong then?"

I took a deep breath and crawled across the bed. "I know you probably gathered that I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't want it to be kept a secret. I've wanted to ask you this for three years now. Quatre Raberba Winner, my angel, will you marry me?" I opened the box and held it out in front of him.

I knew I had to say something before he thought I rejected him but no words would form on my tongue. I looked at the ring. It was beautiful. The sapphires on it formed a star around the diamond in the center. The two angels that were holding up the gemstones had pearl wings. My voice came rushing back to me and I knew there was only one thing I could say. "Oh fei..." I moved across the bed and kissed him. "Yes, gods yes." This time he kissed me. Hard. I pulled back and felt love radiating off of him. "When in Allah's name did I get so lucky?"

I smiled down at my angel, my little one. I took the ring out of the small box and slipped it onto his finger. I wrapped him in my arms and held him tight. His question needed answering, I don't know why, but it just did. "I don't know about you my angel, but I became the luckiest man alive when I met and fell in love with you."

Owari

*1* I actually did this once, it was as embarrassing as hell since one of the people in the living room was this hottie from across the street. God, I couldn't stop blushing.....I did do some real sliding later when there were no hot 18 year old guys I could embarrass myself in front of. I ran into the wall anyway. X_X Nearly knocked myself out. But it was fun. ^_^

*2* I have got to write a prequel to this. The mere thought just cracks me up. I know I'm nuts but it just seemed to fit to Duo's personality so well. And of course Trowa loves him so he just went along with it.

Thanks to everyone who actually got this far! Please review, this is my first story I have posted and I hope you liked it. I am working on a sequel, it won't be long but it will have lots of lemon. I want to thank all of my friends who have supported me in writing this, especially Duo-chan, Sevy, Moony, Weasel, Karie, and C-Chan2! I love all of you!!