Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Contemplation Indigo ❯ Florian Amber ( Chapter 17 )

Florian Amber

By

DRL

"Are you sure this is necessary Duo?" I ask as I follow him along the upper gallery of his and Heero's loft-style apartment to the room that is to be mine for the night.

"It's tradition." He replies briefly.

"That doesn't exactly answer my question." I mutter sotto voce as I glance nervously over the worryingly insubstantial railing. This railing, which consists of gossamer-fine steel cables stretched taut between steel uprights, is the only thing that stands between me and a plummet to the living area beneath. I shudder and move a little closer to the wall. Duo has evidently heard my murmured undertone because he turns and beams broadly at me over his shoulder as he proceeds. He halts and opens a door, leading me into a spacious chamber at the end of the gallery, which I recognise as one that Wufei and I had occupied once before on a previous visit. Wufei..., I wonder what he is doing at this moment and I mentally curse Duo and his traditions.

"Here we are," Duo says as he heaves my overnight bag onto the bed, "Home sweet home, for one night only".

Heero, who brought up the rear of our little procession and who has possession of the garment bag that contains my wedding suit, enters the room after me. He slides aside a mirrored section of the wall to reveal a large walk-in wardrobe. He walks in, deposits the garment bag and walks out again, slides the door to and leans against it, arms folded, looking expectantly at Duo.

"We'll be downstairs," Duo said brightly, "You freshen up or whatever, and then come down and join us 'kay?"

I nod my agreement and they take their leave.

Once I am alone I sink down onto a corner of the bed and sigh heavily. A week or so ago Duo had suggested that Wufei and I spend the days prior to our wedding vow renewal ceremony apart. He insisted that this was an age-old wedding tradition. I recall that he did the same when Quatre and Trowa married, with disastrous results. Quatre spent the most miserable and Trowa the most nerve-wracked days of their lives. However, undeterred, he had insisted upon the same for Wufei and myself. I had at first told him that it was out of the question. Fei was not in the best of health at present and I was not going to entertain leaving him for two minutes let alone two days. But then Wufei had said that he wanted a 'proper' wedding and he said that if this was a wedding tradition, then we would honour it. So with the proviso that the two days were reduced to one, I reluctantly acquiesced. It was agreed that Fei would remain at the Barton-Winner mansion, where Hugo was already installed and could tend to him, and I would stay with Heero and Duo for the night.

All the same, I hate to leave him when he's still so poorly, even though he does have Hugo to look after him. He may look okay, and he certainly attempts to act as if he is as fit as a fiddle, but he cannot fool me. He is recovering relatively well from his corneal transplants, but he still has those inexplicable symptoms, headaches, nausea, vomiting, blackouts, disorientation, which clearly have nothing to do with his operation. Granted, he underwent the C.T. scan as Steven Scrivener and Sally Po suggested, but the results were hardly reassuring. 'Inconclusive', whatever that means. Well I know one or two things that it does mean. It means that rather than Fei going through this wedding ceremony safe in the knowledge that he has been given a clean bill of health and all he has to do is sit back and regain his sight, he has to go through it with this uncertainty hanging over him like the sword of Damocles and he has to cut short his 'honeymoon' so that he can return in time to keep an appointment to go through the whole harrowing experience once again. It is enough to wrack anyone's nerves.

Fei is being marvellous about it though. I know that it is worrying him greatly, but he tries so hard not to show it. Thankfully he has had the wedding to help take his mind off it, but the strain is beginning to show. Oh don't get me wrong, to all outward appearances he is as happy as a sand boy, and I'm sure that this is broadly true, but I know Wufei very well, and his can be a brooding and reticent nature and he tends to bottle things up quite a lot. It can also be a depressive one, and it is this that worries me. I have detected no signs so far, but I am keeping a weather-eye open. He is a little more 'clingy' than usual at the moment, but I see nothing in this. He gets that way from time to time for no apparent reason. It's just another 'Wufei' paradox. He is fiercely independent one moment, not wanting me anywhere near him, then he's all over me like a rash the next. Anyway, I hope he's okay. I could call him now but to do so would be to risk his wrath since we only parted just over an hour ago. We agreed to speak before we go to sleep tonight, so I suppose I'll find out then although, as always, Hugo has instructions to contact me if anything serious happens, so I may well find out sooner.

I suddenly realise that I have been sitting on the edge of the bed thinking about Wufei for at least twenty minutes. I rise, unzip my overnight bag, exchange my sweater for a t-shirt to provide some evidence of why I had been up here for so long, then I leave the room. I descend the open-treaded staircase at the end of the gallery to the floor below. The whole of the lower floor living area is open to view from the staircase and I can see at a glance that Heero and Duo are nowhere in evidence, so I proceed to the kitchen, where I hit 'pay dirt'. This is also open to view (everything is 'open' in this confounded place) and as I approach I can quite clearly see them, Duo perched on the edge of the central island, Heero standing between Duo's parted thighs, with Duo's feet crossed at the ankles below Heero's buttocks, holding him captive. Their arms are about each other and their lips are locked in a kiss. I am glad that they have been keeping themselves busy while waiting for me. Although they can hear my approach, they maintain their position, paying no attention to me whatsoever. I am unperturbed by this amorous display, of course. It is a common sight in any situation featuring Heero and Duo together as a couple. They are very passionate, physical and openly demonstrative in their attraction for each other.

"Gentlemen..." I greet them, throwing a casual glance in their direction as I pass by on my way to the wine rack. As I do so I catch a clear sight of their tongues duelling languidly. One of them, Duo I think, lets out a lustful sigh and he enmeshes his fingers in Heero's hair. For his part Heero slips a hand beneath the hem of Duo's t-shirt and begins caressing the small of his back. I turn my attention back to the wine rack.

There are several passable bottles and one or two excellent vintages, but nothing really takes my fancy, so I move to the fridge. My keen eye immediately alights on the telltale foil of bottle of champagne. Yes, that will do nicely. I remove the bottle and inspect the label. 'Bollinger '95' I read with delight - an exceptional year. I remove the foil and cage, and as I begin to remove the cork I hear the clink of glasses behind me.

"We were discussing what to have for dinner." Duo says as he stands at my elbow, placing three crystal flutes on the counter before me.

"So I saw," I say as I 'pop the cork', "Although it looked to me as though you had decided upon each other." I pour the champagne. The glasses, I notice, are extremely fine. I recognise them as part of a set that Wufei and I had given to Heero and Duo as an anniversary gift at least six years ago, and I am unusually pleased to see that they are still in use.

"So, what's the plan for tonight Treize?" Duo says enthusiastically, as I hand him a brimming glassful of the sparkling wine.

"Dinner, then bed." Heero replies flatly and there is a distinctly warning undertone to his voice. I smile discreetly - the entertainment has begun.

"Aw c'mon Heero," Duo says, "It is the guy's stag night after all, he's gotta go out and get drunk, it's tradition." He takes a deep draught from his glass as if to illustrate the point.

"Duo, Wufei will never forgive us if we deliver Treize to the altar red-eyed, slack-jawed and hung over."

"But..."

"No Duo."

"Geez Heero," Duo says with disgust, "You're no fun at all. It's like being married to a kipper."

"Duo," Comes Heero's confused reply, "That makes no sense at all. What does not being any fun have to do with a piece of smoked fish...?"

I turn away, laughing to myself, and I set about inspecting the contents of the pantry and the refrigerator. The pair of them are an absolute delight. Their constant but good-natured bickering has me in stitches more often than not. I do so enjoy spending time with them. I have yet to meet two people who can argue about something and absolutely nothing in the way that these two can. They seem to disagree about absolutely everything, yet they are as devoted a couple as one could ever meet. As I said, their fights are usually good-natured, but once or twice they have been rather more serious.

I recall that there was a time, not so long ago when the two of them split up for a few months because of something Heero did that upset Duo greatly. Duo came to stay with Fei and I at our place in France, and I have to say that that was a terrible time for him. The broken, dejected creature that Fei and I had to take care of was hardly recognisable as the bright, bubbly, bouncing person I see before me (well he is actually behind me at the moment, but you get the gist). I am accustomed to taking a brisk stroll through the messuages of our estate on a daily basis when at home, and Fei often accompanies me. He was working to finish a manuscript at the time that Duo was with us, so Duo and I used to walk the grounds alone, just the two of us. He would talk to me then, quite frankly and explicitly about his relationship with Heero. I realised then the depth of Duo's feelings and why it was that the split with Heero, which at the end of the day was over something relatively small in the scheme of things, affected him so severely. The poor thing was so distraught that he would more often than not end up sobbing in my arms. As I said, it was a terrible time for him, but he did recover a little while he was with us, and he managed to regain a little of his sparkle by the time we brought him back.

It was this more than anything else that taught me that in a loving relationship, ones lightest word or deed can sometimes have an unexpected effect on ones partner, so with Fei I work very much on the principle that least said, soonest mended. We do lock horns very occasionally though, and although he is extremely wilful, I find that he responds surprisingly well to a firm hand every now and again. Most of the time though, while he rails at me mercilessly, I seldom retaliate. His is a very volatile nature and he flares up with the intensity of a struck match then just as quickly, he boils down with the passivity of a pan-full of spinach. He means nothing and his bark is so very much worse than his bite, the dear little chap.

Heero and Duo's animated little discussion progresses from cured fish through a variety of subjects, including the philosopher Plato for some reason, and eventually fetches up back at food again, by which time I have collected an array of items on the granite counter in front of me. I am suddenly aware of a presence at my elbow. I glance up into a pair of mesmerising violet eyes.

"Whatcha doin' Treize?" Duo enquires, then his eyes widen with anticipation, "Are you gonna cook dinner?" I turn and lean against the counter so that my reply is directed at both of them.

"Well I thought I might, if the two of you don't mind."

"Mind!" Duo exclaims, as though he has never heard such nonsense, "Of course we don't mind. Hey Heero," He turns exuberantly to his husband, "Treize is gonna cook dinner."

"Duo," Heero replies, "I am standing two feet away from him. I think it reasonable to assume that I heard what he said." He says this in the dry, sardonic manner that one comes to expect from Heero, but I flatter myself that I detect an anticipatory gleam in his eye also.

I freely admit to being chuffed by their reaction at the prospect of being subjected to my gastronomic efforts. All modesty aside, I am an extremely good cook, but I seldom get the chance to exercise my culinary expertise. At home in France we have a chef who prepares all the meals and one does not keep a dog, then bark oneself. The same applies at most of our other residences and those of our close friends, including Quatre and Trowa. I keep a small apartment in Paris which Fei and I use whenever we go into the city on shopping or theatre trips. We usually cater for ourselves when we stay there, so it is almost my only opportunity to actually do some hands-on cooking, apart from when I come to Heero and Duos. I have to say that the open-plan architectural style and the minimalist décor of the apartment is not to my taste, but I like staying here because I get to cook.

"Whatcha gonna make?" Duo asks as he peruses the ingredients on the counter.

"Well, I thought potage purée de poitron to start, followed by clams oreganata, then baked swordfish stuffed with salmon & spinach mousse with plain boiled rice and aubergines frites au gratin as a vegetable accompaniment, with soufflé au citron glacé for dessert. If I have time I'll make some blue-cheese bread, but we'll have to see about that. That's the best I can cobble together with what you have in the house, but if you would prefer something more exotic we will have to go out to the shops." They both stare at me in open-mouthed incredulity until Heero finally says,

"No it's alright, I think that will be fine."

I retrieve the bottle of champagne from the fridge and recharge each of our glasses, before donning an apron and setting about the task of preparing dinner. It is early afternoon, but the meal will take some time to prepare and cook, so I begin immediately, measuring and preparing the ingredients, from time to time setting either Heero or Duo to work peeling or chopping vegetables, whipping cream and performing such little assistances as they can without getting under my feet. I am actually enjoying myself and for the first time I am glad that I agreed to honour Duos wedding tradition.

We chat about this and that, and the plans for the ceremony tomorrow. Duo goes to refill the glasses, finds the champagne bottle empty and absently reaches into the fridge for another.

"So Quatre & Trowa's image guy is coming over in the morning right?" He says as he opens the bottle and pours another round.

"Yes." I reply. I have reached a point where I can sit down and relax for a little while, so I am seated on a stool at the central island. Heero and Duo are on both on their feet, Heero on the opposite side of the island to me and Duo over by the fridge pouring the drinks. "He will assist the three of us with our wardrobe and grooming, then he will go over to Quatre & Trowas to do the same for the two of them and Wufei."

"I won't need any assistance with either my wardrobe or my grooming." Heero says petulantly.

"Sure you will," Duo says as he deposits a glass in front of me and one beside Heero, "And if you ask him nicely I'm sure he'll wax your legs for you." He keeps hold of the third and sips from it.

I watch him as he moves to stand close beside Heero, leaning against him slightly as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. One arm steals around Heero's waist in a loose hold, the hand resting lightly on his hip. Heero does not look at Duo, touch him or acknowledge the gesture in any other way. In fact, he looks away from him, off into the opposite corner of the room. However, I do not fail to notice the barely perceptible smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth and the slight softening of his gaze. I know exactly how he is feeling and what he is thinking. I think and feel the same whenever Fei and I are paying for goods in a store, and he suddenly turns to me, winds his arms about my neck and kisses me. Or when we are walking together along a street somewhere, and I suddenly feel his little hand steal into mine, holding it as we walk. It's a proprietorial thought that says to the rest of the world 'He's mine, and don't you forget it', and it's a feeling that says silently to the other person, 'I love you with all of my heart, and I always will'.

The meal was a resounding success, and we rounded it off with coffee and liqueurs. What with the two bottles of champagne we drank while I was cooking, the two bottles of Chablis we drank during dinner and the liqueurs afterward, it seemed as though, despite what Heero had said earlier, we were all going to get drunk after all.

*

After Heero and Duo had left, taking Treize with them (kicking and screaming mentally, if not physically), Quatre, Trowa and I had rather a good time. The two of them entertained me very well. Immediately after the others had gone we repaired to the library, where we spent a hilarious couple of hours browsing through Quatre and Trowa's wedding album and re-living the day as we regaled each other with our reminiscences. Duo said that traditionally the bride and groom had to spend the days prior to their wedding apart, and he insisted that Quatre and Trowa observe the tradition.

"It was awful," Quatre confessed, "I spent most of those two days in tears. I missed you so much my love." He looked adoringly into Trowa's eyes.

They were snuggled together in that lovely leopard-spotted arm chair they have in the library, just like the one in their bedroom. I always sit in it when I am in the library, but of course in this instance I deferred to my hosts. I stood behind the chair, leaning over the back, this way looking at the album as they were. They offered to move to a larger chair so that we could all sit down, but I refused, stating that I preferred the arrangement as it was. This way I was at least close to the photographs and could see them relatively clearly.

"My poor darling." Said Trowa sympathetically. "I wish I had known. I would have gone straight over there." He kissed Quatre lightly on the temple.

"I know you would my love." Quatre replied and smiled softly as he ran a finger lightly across Trowa's cheek. They then tore their eyes away from each other and looked back to the photograph album resting in their laps.

It was ever thus with Quatre and Trowa, and probably always will be. A more syrupy-sweet and sappy couple I have yet to meet, but I think they are wonderful. They clearly adore one another and they cannot help but show it. They swear that they have never exchanged a cross word. Never one, in how many years together? At least as long as Treize and I have been married. They never even get angry with each other - not ever. I remember that we were all at dinner together one day several years ago, and this same subject came up. Trowa indicated towards Quatre, where he sat looking as angelic and beautifully ethereal as ever, and said, 'Look... look at him, how could I get angry with that? How could I ever raise my voice to that? I would cut out my tongue first'. He was rewarded with a beatific smile from Quatre and a look of utter devotion. I suppose we could all see what he meant though. Quatre kind of has that quality, but don't go thinking that he is a soft touch. Many of his business rivals have made that mistake, and boardrooms around the world are littered with their corpses. Those of us who fought side by side with him also know better.

"Mind you,"Trowa continued, "I was an absolute nervous wreck myself. I was terrified that perhaps you had changed your mind and wouldn't turn up. I wondered whether, with me out of the way, your family might have persuaded you that you would be throwing yourself away if you married me."

"I won't say they didn't try." Quatre replied, "But I just bawled all over them and they soon left me alone." We all laughed at that. "Wufei, are you nervous?" Quatre asked me then.

"A little," I confessed, "But not about Treize. We are already married, and it isn't as though he can 'not turn up' is it? I'm nervous about standing up in front of all those people and saying 'Treize Kushrenada, I love you.' It's what I want to do more than anything else in the world, but I'm still a little nervous about it." Quatre reached up and took my hand, squeezed it gently then brought it to his lips and placed a kiss lightly on my fingers. He said nothing, but the look he gave me said everything that his lips did not. 'Everything will be fine.' I seemed to hear him say quite clearly, although he spoke not at all. Suddenly I was sure that everything would.

"We have booked a table for dinner at 'Les Trois Maisons'." Trowa said later, "We thought it would be nice as it's something of a special occasion, but if you would rather stay in tonight...,"

"'Les Trois Maisons' is a restaurant that Treize always likes to patronise when ever we are over here, and Quatre and Trowa favour it also. Sally and I had lunch there a week or so ago. It's quite the most exclusive place to eat in town.

"Thank-you Trowa, I would love to go." I found myself saying, even though I would have preferred an evening in and an early night.

As it turned out, we had a wonderful time. The food and the service were excellent, but then again, restaurants do not get the reputation that 'Les Trois Maisons' has for no reason. I was very glad that I went. We talked about everything and nothing, and we laughed so much and our table became so rowdy that at one point I swear that we were going to be asked to leave. As we ate I watched Quatre and Trowa, observing something that I have noticed about them many times before. I decided to test a theory.

"Have you ever noticed that when the two of you are together, you are in almost constant physical contact? You are always touching or holding each other in some way." They looked quizzically at each other, and then at me. We were between courses at the time and their hands were clasped as they rested on the table top.

"Really?" Quatre said, "No, I've never really noticed." Trowa shrugged and shook his head. They both looked guilelessly at me.

It was just as I had always suspected. They didn't even know they were doing it. They seemed to reach for each other as if drawn by some type of force, akin to magnetism. I smiled indulgently at them. They were just too sweet for words. Quatre fell asleep during the drive home, a result of the quantities of wine he had drunk during dinner I suspected. He lay stretched out on the back seat of the limousine, his head resting in Trowa's lap. As Trowa lovingly stroked his blond curls he said something to me.

"You know Wufei, after the war I swore I would die before I ever took another life, but when I look at him like this," He was looking down at Quatre as he said this, "I'm convinced that if someone was to harm one single hair on his head, just one, I would kill them, quite easily, without hesitation, without compunction, without mercy and without a shred of remorse. Isn't that awful?"

"No, it's love." I replied. In my opinion it was also obsession, but I didn't tell him that. I didn't want to give him any hang-ups. I have hang-ups enough for both of us.

As Quatre was still asleep when we returned Trowa took him up to their bedroom, and I said goodnight. I didn't want him to feel obliged to entertain me any further, as he would if he knew I was still up, so I told him I was going to bed. I went to bed, I tried to sleep, but the dreams came again. I just cannot understand it. Why should I have such dreams at a time like this? What is wrong with my mind that I should have such horrible dreams when asleep and be so happy while I'm awake? I know why. I know what it is. It's happening. It's been happening for quite some time now, since before the operation. That was when it started, when the dreams started, just before the operation. They did stop for a while afterward, admittedly, but they are back, and with a vengeance. I just don't know what to do. Should I tell someone? Who would I tell, Hugo? If I told him he would carry the news straight to Treize, and he's the last person I want to know. Quatre or Trowa? They wouldn't tell Treize if I asked them not to, but they're asleep. I don't want to disturb them for something like this..., shit, the door, is it opening or is it my befuddled brain completely given up the ghost and...

"Wufei, it's alright, it's only me." Quatre whispers, "Can I come in?"

He comes in anyway. I haul myself up until my back rests against the headboard, cushioned by the myriad of pillows all of the Barton-Winner beds seem to be piled with. He crosses the room towards me, sits down on the edge of the bed beside me and reaches out to switch on the bedside lamp.

"Wufei, what's the matter? Something is very wrong isn't it? Don't say no, because I know it is, I could... feel it. You woke me up." He says with a slightly self-conscious laugh. "I'm sorry I fell asleep. I think I had a little too much to drink."

That laugh again. His voice is like a soothing balm, washing over me and rinsing away all of my troubles. Suddenly it all seems ridiculous and I feel a bit of a fool.

"Why don't you tell me all about it?" He says as he rises and walks round to the other side of the bed.

He peels back the coverlet and slides into bed beside me. He settles himself close to me, puts an arm around my shoulders and draws me to him. I allow my head to fall against his shoulder and relax my body against his.

"There, that's better isn't it?" He says,

I'm sure he is doing something to me, hypnotising me or something, because as he is talking to me I feel all my cares melting away. His voice sounds wonderfully musical and sibilant, and I wonder how come I have never noticed that about it before. It suddenly occurs to me that it would be quite compromising for us if Trowa were to walk into the room and find Quatre in bed with me like this.

"Don't worry," He says, "Trowa knows exactly where I am, and why."

And I swear to god, I didn't say a word, I only thought it. I raise my head and look at him, brow furrowed in alarm and confusion.

"Shhh," He says, "Don't worry about it," He lowers my head to his shoulder again with the slight pressure of his hand. "Just tell me all about what it is that's been bothering you."

And I do. I tell him everything, absolutely everything. I tell him about the state Treize found me in at the Shaolin Temple, I tell him why we married when we did and in the manner that we did, I tell him about my treatment at the Swiss clinic, I tell him how I have long feared and dreaded a recurrence of my malady, and I tell him of how I am convinced that my worst fears are now being realised. Treize called my cellphone while I was talking. I immediately panicked, but Quatre dealt with the situation with remarkable self-possession, spontaneity and aplomb.

"Treize? Hi, it's Quatre..., Wufei's asleep. We went out for dinner and I think he wore himself out, what's that...? No, he didn't have too much to drink. In fact, he didn't have anything to drink at all besides mineral water... Yes I know, Trowa and I made sure of that. He told us that you would call and asked us to apologise to you for him, but he just couldn't stay awake..., yes, I told him you would see it that way... The three of you did what...? Well you'd better sober up by tomorrow... Yes, Wufei's really looking forward to it..., he said to give you his love...yes, I'm sure he knows that. Well we'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget, Nicky and his team will be with you at 9.00 sharp, okay...? Right, well goodnight." Then he rang off.

*

I fell asleep eventually, but by then I had told Quatre everything there was to tell. He stayed with me throughout the night. I half woke once or twice and I felt his warm body in the bed beside me, and I feel it now. Strangely enough, I had the best night's sleep I have had for a long time, and now I am awake, with the cold light of dawn not far off. I feel quite calm and relaxed, not at all the gibbering wreck I would have been but for Quatre's timely intervention. In a few hours time I will be preparing to renew my marriage vows, and I don't want anything to spoil this day for me, but after that, I can give in to my slow, inexorable descent into madness, because that is what is happening to me. The scan failed to show it this time, but the next one will, I'm sure of it.