Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Cooking Class ❯ Cooking Class ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
This Is another Gundam Wing AU/Humor fic.For those of you who liked Show and Tell, It's sorta like a continuation of it.
This fic took me a while to write,and I should also let you know that I don't Hate Zech.
Actually he's one of my favorite characters,just keep that in mind when reading my fics.
It's nothing against the character,I just find it comical when a misfortune befalls one of the characters I like.
I can't wait to read your Reviews enjoy!
Dr.J:Okay, it's time to cook! Let's see...Heero, you're with Relena. Quatre you're with uhhh...minions- *minion buts in*Master Quatre let us help you!
Dr.J:Duo, you're with Hildy. Wufie, you're with-
Wufie: *praying* Please not Sally, please not Sally, please not Sally...
Dr.J:Sally Po.
Wufie:Damn it!
Sally:Wuufieee...
Dr.J:And Trowa, you're on your own.
Heero/Wufie:(to Trowa) Lucky bastard!
Dr.J:The rest of you already know who your partners are, so lets start cooking!
Quatre:YEEAAAAHHHH!!! *sits down at a table while random minions finish preparing the food* Move that tray a little to the left random minion, perfect! *random minions finish setting the table* I'm done!
Dr.J:That was fast...
Quatre:*looks over to where Heero and Relena are* Heero! *Heero's seen holding a knife over Relena's head* Your mission is to not kill anyone throughout the duration of this class!
Heero:*Reluctantly* Mission...accepted. *Throws knife over shoulder and it stabs a kid in the eye.*
Dr.J:Kid, you shouldn't be running with knives, go to the office!
Kid:My name's Ralph, and it was Heero's-
Dr.J:I don't care you little shit, just go to the office!
* * *
(Scene cuts to Wufie and Sally Po)
Wufie:Back off weak woman! I don't need your help! Help is for the weak!
Sally:We're supposed to work together though, so what are we making?
Wufie:I'm making Chinese food!
Sally:So what do I do?
Wufie:Make some chinese tea!
Sally:Okay Wufie. How?
Wufie:You're weak! You have no right to touch Notaku! You have no right to touch mini-Notaku! *holds up mini Notaku key chain*
* * *
(scene cuts to Duo and Hildy)
Dr. J:So what are you two making?
Duo:*pauses from making rum balls*We're making Anti-Angel food!Rum balls and devil's cake!
Hildy:Hick! *runs off with bottle of rum*
Duo:Hey! I wanted that! *goes to run after Hildy, but trips and falls in garbage can* Hey there's a pretzel in here!
Dr. J: Mine! Give it! *Takes moldy old pretzel away from Duo.*
Duo:Hey get your own diner! *climbs out of trash can,ready to steal back the pretzel.However Dr.J has already run off* Dang! *pulls beer bottle out from behind his back and starts drinking it,then falls back in garbage can.* Hic!
Quatre:Duo,where'd you get that?
Duo:I stole it off a dah launch lady.Hick! Want some?
Quatre:We shouldn't be drinking at all!
Duo:What'd you say about my mom?! *throws beer bottle at Quatre,narrowly missing him.*
Quatre:*Gets scared and wets his pants* Rashid, it happenend again!
* * *
(scene cuts to Trowa)
Dr. J:Well Trowa,what are you making?
Trowa:Shhhhh. *points to sign*"Silent Food"
Dr. J:Silent food?
Quatre:*after getting a change of pants* Hey, Trowa what's Silent food???
Trowa:*points to a pot of porage* Shhhhhh. *Serves him a bowl.*
Duo:Hick!I want some!Give me some!!!
Trowa:*Hands Duo a bowl of porage* Shhhhhh...
Duo:*grabs a spoon and tries some* It needs more sugar!Put
some sugar in it!hic! *shoves bowl in Trowa's face.*
Trowa:...*takes bowl and puts some more sugar in it.*
Quatre:But Duo,Trowa already put suger in it.
Duo:*takes back the bowl and tries it again.* It needs more!Hic.More sugar!!!! *grabs suger container and puts the entire container of it in the porage* It's too hot!
Quatre:Then put some milk in it.
Trowa:Shhh...
Duo:I don't like milk.Unless it's chocolate milk! It needs beer! *Starts slopping the porage around in the bowl* Hey, hick.How come there isn't a sloping sound?
Quatre:Wow! It really IS "Silent Food"
Trowa:Shhhh *Points to sign "Please be quiet."*
Quatre:Uh,um,I can't read Trowa.Hey Duo,do you know what this sign says?
Duo:Uh...Umm, yeah of course I do!
Quatre:Then what does it say?
Duo:Uh...I can't tell you!
Quatre:Why not
Duo:Because this porage is to hot!! It needs more Suger!!!! I WANT PIXIE STICKS!!!!!!!
Trowa: Shhhh... *points to the sign again*
* * *
*Scene cuts to Heero and Relena*
*A knock is heard from the oven door.*
Heero:*to Relena* I think it's done. *goes to open door*
Trieze:Would you some candy?
Heero: *slams the door closed*
Trieze:Ouchie!
Heero: *turns the oven on high*
Trieze:It burns!!!
Heero: *Walks away from the oven and passes a microwave,and heres a knock at the microwave door.*
Relena:*Looks in the microwave* AHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's Richards Simmons!
Richard Simmons:Become mighty!Shake Shake Shake-
Heero:*Slams microwave door,then pulls out crowbar and starts hitting it.*
Relena:For the sake of man kind! *Heero finishes hitting it.Relena picks up the microwave and throws it out the window.Then picks up Zech and throws him out the broken window on top of the microwave.*
Heero:Hmmm... *Heero then jumps out the window,stomps on Zech (Who is laying on the broken microwave).Jumps back through the window and pulls his baked cookies out of the oven* Hmmm...(Dang.They burned a bit around the edges...)
Relena:*finishes icing the cupcakes she made*Their.All done.
Dr. J:Hey! Cupcakes and Cookies! *Takes a bite of a cookie and a cupcake.Then keels down on the ground unconscience.*
*Almost every one in the class tries them and go unconscience.*
Quatre:Duo! You didn't eat those cookies or cupcakes did you? Did you?!
Duo:...*Unconscience on the floor.*
Quatre:Trowa! Quick call 911! *Hands Trowa the phone*
Trowa:...Shhhhh...*Points to a sign that says, "Phones are to noisy." Then takes a bite out of a muffin and instintly collapses to the floor unconscience.Finger points to another sign saying, "They must be poisoned."
Quatre:Oh my GOD! Trowa!Speak to me!Trowa!!! Wufie,they killed Trowa!They killed him!Killed him!
Wufie:Weak woman!He's not dead!He's just unconscience from food poisoning!
Quatre:Quick Wufie! Call 911!
Wufie:Never!
Quatre:But you've got to call or Trowa's gonna die!
Wufie:Phones are weak! Trowa's weak! You are weak! Weak people have no right to touch Notaku! Weak people have no right to touch Mini Notaku! WEAK... *Walks off yelling something about weak people.*
Quatre:Heero!Quick call 911!Trowa's gonna die! *shoves phone in Heero's face*
Heero:*Pushes phone out of his face* No. *Tries to walk away*
Quatre:What if it was Relena instead of Trowa and she was gonna die?Would you just walk away?
Heero:Yup.*Starts to walk off*
Quatre:Heero! Your mission-
Heero:*Stops, frozen in his steps*
Quatre:Is to dial 911 for me!
Heero:Roger that *Takes the phone and dials 911.Then gives Quatre the phone and dissappears before Quatre can give him another mission.*
Quatre:Hello 911? Come to school! Trowa's gonna die *click*
Dorothy:*Suddenly shows up* Isn't our surrounding just lovely? *kids are unconscience on the floor all over the place.* Let's fight Mr. Winner.
Quatre:*Pulls out a sword from behind his back,and starts fencing with Dorothy to protect himself. *We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Dorothy:You are weak! *Thrusts her sword at Quatre and slightly cuts his arm a bit*
Wufie:That's my line! *Walks off mumbling something about weak women.*
Quatre:Ouch! That was mean Dorothy.
Dorothy:I win! *Runs off.*
Random Minion:Master Quatre, we must get you to the hospital!
*An ambulance apears.The paramedics pick up Quatre and put him on the stretcher*
Quatre:Quick You've got to save Trowa Mr. Dr. Man!!!
Paramedic:I'm a Paramedic kid. Don't worry we'll save him. Where is he?
Quatre:There *points to where Trowa is unconcious*
Paramedic:Hey kid-
Quatre:Trowa!His name is Trowa!
Paramedic:What ever. Hey are you alright?
Trowa: *still unconscience is seen pointing to another sign that say's "Shhhh..."*
Quatre:Will Trowa be okay? Is he gonna Die?Tell me!
Paramedic:*Puts a needle in Quatre's arm* There kid that, should help calm ya down.
Quatre:Oh, I feel sleepy.It's early for nap time though- *falls asleep*
Relena:*Maybe if I'm upset they'll give me drugs too* Heeeeeeerrrrrrrooooooooooo!!!!
*Another ambulance pulls up with a second group of paramedics*
Paramedic:There there little girl.This'll calm you down. *give Relena a lollipop*We'll save your friend
Relena:*Looks at the lollipop* A poop in a Nighlon stocking...
Paramedic:*Walks up to Heero* Hey are you Heero?There's a girl that's worried about you. Are you okay?
Heero:*Beats up the second group of paramedics, jumps in their ambulance and drives away*
Paramedics:Medic!
Wufie:Weak Medics! *Walks off mumbling something about weak paramedics*
*Everyone gets put on an ambulance and is taken off to the hospital for one reason or another.*
Zech:Hello? Can anyone here me? I've fallen and can't get up! Hello? anyone?
Richard Simmons: I can hear you! Shake shake shake, shake shake shake-
Zech:I hate my life...
The End
This fic took me a while to write,and I should also let you know that I don't Hate Zech.
Actually he's one of my favorite characters,just keep that in mind when reading my fics.
It's nothing against the character,I just find it comical when a misfortune befalls one of the characters I like.
I can't wait to read your Reviews enjoy!
Dr.J:Okay, it's time to cook! Let's see...Heero, you're with Relena. Quatre you're with uhhh...minions- *minion buts in*Master Quatre let us help you!
Dr.J:Duo, you're with Hildy. Wufie, you're with-
Wufie: *praying* Please not Sally, please not Sally, please not Sally...
Dr.J:Sally Po.
Wufie:Damn it!
Sally:Wuufieee...
Dr.J:And Trowa, you're on your own.
Heero/Wufie:(to Trowa) Lucky bastard!
Dr.J:The rest of you already know who your partners are, so lets start cooking!
Quatre:YEEAAAAHHHH!!! *sits down at a table while random minions finish preparing the food* Move that tray a little to the left random minion, perfect! *random minions finish setting the table* I'm done!
Dr.J:That was fast...
Quatre:*looks over to where Heero and Relena are* Heero! *Heero's seen holding a knife over Relena's head* Your mission is to not kill anyone throughout the duration of this class!
Heero:*Reluctantly* Mission...accepted. *Throws knife over shoulder and it stabs a kid in the eye.*
Dr.J:Kid, you shouldn't be running with knives, go to the office!
Kid:My name's Ralph, and it was Heero's-
Dr.J:I don't care you little shit, just go to the office!
* * *
(Scene cuts to Wufie and Sally Po)
Wufie:Back off weak woman! I don't need your help! Help is for the weak!
Sally:We're supposed to work together though, so what are we making?
Wufie:I'm making Chinese food!
Sally:So what do I do?
Wufie:Make some chinese tea!
Sally:Okay Wufie. How?
Wufie:You're weak! You have no right to touch Notaku! You have no right to touch mini-Notaku! *holds up mini Notaku key chain*
* * *
(scene cuts to Duo and Hildy)
Dr. J:So what are you two making?
Duo:*pauses from making rum balls*We're making Anti-Angel food!Rum balls and devil's cake!
Hildy:Hick! *runs off with bottle of rum*
Duo:Hey! I wanted that! *goes to run after Hildy, but trips and falls in garbage can* Hey there's a pretzel in here!
Dr. J: Mine! Give it! *Takes moldy old pretzel away from Duo.*
Duo:Hey get your own diner! *climbs out of trash can,ready to steal back the pretzel.However Dr.J has already run off* Dang! *pulls beer bottle out from behind his back and starts drinking it,then falls back in garbage can.* Hic!
Quatre:Duo,where'd you get that?
Duo:I stole it off a dah launch lady.Hick! Want some?
Quatre:We shouldn't be drinking at all!
Duo:What'd you say about my mom?! *throws beer bottle at Quatre,narrowly missing him.*
Quatre:*Gets scared and wets his pants* Rashid, it happenend again!
* * *
(scene cuts to Trowa)
Dr. J:Well Trowa,what are you making?
Trowa:Shhhhh. *points to sign*"Silent Food"
Dr. J:Silent food?
Quatre:*after getting a change of pants* Hey, Trowa what's Silent food???
Trowa:*points to a pot of porage* Shhhhhh. *Serves him a bowl.*
Duo:Hick!I want some!Give me some!!!
Trowa:*Hands Duo a bowl of porage* Shhhhhh...
Duo:*grabs a spoon and tries some* It needs more sugar!Put
some sugar in it!hic! *shoves bowl in Trowa's face.*
Trowa:...*takes bowl and puts some more sugar in it.*
Quatre:But Duo,Trowa already put suger in it.
Duo:*takes back the bowl and tries it again.* It needs more!Hic.More sugar!!!! *grabs suger container and puts the entire container of it in the porage* It's too hot!
Quatre:Then put some milk in it.
Trowa:Shhh...
Duo:I don't like milk.Unless it's chocolate milk! It needs beer! *Starts slopping the porage around in the bowl* Hey, hick.How come there isn't a sloping sound?
Quatre:Wow! It really IS "Silent Food"
Trowa:Shhhh *Points to sign "Please be quiet."*
Quatre:Uh,um,I can't read Trowa.Hey Duo,do you know what this sign says?
Duo:Uh...Umm, yeah of course I do!
Quatre:Then what does it say?
Duo:Uh...I can't tell you!
Quatre:Why not
Duo:Because this porage is to hot!! It needs more Suger!!!! I WANT PIXIE STICKS!!!!!!!
Trowa: Shhhh... *points to the sign again*
* * *
*Scene cuts to Heero and Relena*
*A knock is heard from the oven door.*
Heero:*to Relena* I think it's done. *goes to open door*
Trieze:Would you some candy?
Heero: *slams the door closed*
Trieze:Ouchie!
Heero: *turns the oven on high*
Trieze:It burns!!!
Heero: *Walks away from the oven and passes a microwave,and heres a knock at the microwave door.*
Relena:*Looks in the microwave* AHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's Richards Simmons!
Richard Simmons:Become mighty!Shake Shake Shake-
Heero:*Slams microwave door,then pulls out crowbar and starts hitting it.*
Relena:For the sake of man kind! *Heero finishes hitting it.Relena picks up the microwave and throws it out the window.Then picks up Zech and throws him out the broken window on top of the microwave.*
Heero:Hmmm... *Heero then jumps out the window,stomps on Zech (Who is laying on the broken microwave).Jumps back through the window and pulls his baked cookies out of the oven* Hmmm...(Dang.They burned a bit around the edges...)
Relena:*finishes icing the cupcakes she made*Their.All done.
Dr. J:Hey! Cupcakes and Cookies! *Takes a bite of a cookie and a cupcake.Then keels down on the ground unconscience.*
*Almost every one in the class tries them and go unconscience.*
Quatre:Duo! You didn't eat those cookies or cupcakes did you? Did you?!
Duo:...*Unconscience on the floor.*
Quatre:Trowa! Quick call 911! *Hands Trowa the phone*
Trowa:...Shhhhh...*Points to a sign that says, "Phones are to noisy." Then takes a bite out of a muffin and instintly collapses to the floor unconscience.Finger points to another sign saying, "They must be poisoned."
Quatre:Oh my GOD! Trowa!Speak to me!Trowa!!! Wufie,they killed Trowa!They killed him!Killed him!
Wufie:Weak woman!He's not dead!He's just unconscience from food poisoning!
Quatre:Quick Wufie! Call 911!
Wufie:Never!
Quatre:But you've got to call or Trowa's gonna die!
Wufie:Phones are weak! Trowa's weak! You are weak! Weak people have no right to touch Notaku! Weak people have no right to touch Mini Notaku! WEAK... *Walks off yelling something about weak people.*
Quatre:Heero!Quick call 911!Trowa's gonna die! *shoves phone in Heero's face*
Heero:*Pushes phone out of his face* No. *Tries to walk away*
Quatre:What if it was Relena instead of Trowa and she was gonna die?Would you just walk away?
Heero:Yup.*Starts to walk off*
Quatre:Heero! Your mission-
Heero:*Stops, frozen in his steps*
Quatre:Is to dial 911 for me!
Heero:Roger that *Takes the phone and dials 911.Then gives Quatre the phone and dissappears before Quatre can give him another mission.*
Quatre:Hello 911? Come to school! Trowa's gonna die *click*
Dorothy:*Suddenly shows up* Isn't our surrounding just lovely? *kids are unconscience on the floor all over the place.* Let's fight Mr. Winner.
Quatre:*Pulls out a sword from behind his back,and starts fencing with Dorothy to protect himself. *We shouldn't be fighting at all!
Dorothy:You are weak! *Thrusts her sword at Quatre and slightly cuts his arm a bit*
Wufie:That's my line! *Walks off mumbling something about weak women.*
Quatre:Ouch! That was mean Dorothy.
Dorothy:I win! *Runs off.*
Random Minion:Master Quatre, we must get you to the hospital!
*An ambulance apears.The paramedics pick up Quatre and put him on the stretcher*
Quatre:Quick You've got to save Trowa Mr. Dr. Man!!!
Paramedic:I'm a Paramedic kid. Don't worry we'll save him. Where is he?
Quatre:There *points to where Trowa is unconcious*
Paramedic:Hey kid-
Quatre:Trowa!His name is Trowa!
Paramedic:What ever. Hey are you alright?
Trowa: *still unconscience is seen pointing to another sign that say's "Shhhh..."*
Quatre:Will Trowa be okay? Is he gonna Die?Tell me!
Paramedic:*Puts a needle in Quatre's arm* There kid that, should help calm ya down.
Quatre:Oh, I feel sleepy.It's early for nap time though- *falls asleep*
Relena:*Maybe if I'm upset they'll give me drugs too* Heeeeeeerrrrrrrooooooooooo!!!!
*Another ambulance pulls up with a second group of paramedics*
Paramedic:There there little girl.This'll calm you down. *give Relena a lollipop*We'll save your friend
Relena:*Looks at the lollipop* A poop in a Nighlon stocking...
Paramedic:*Walks up to Heero* Hey are you Heero?There's a girl that's worried about you. Are you okay?
Heero:*Beats up the second group of paramedics, jumps in their ambulance and drives away*
Paramedics:Medic!
Wufie:Weak Medics! *Walks off mumbling something about weak paramedics*
*Everyone gets put on an ambulance and is taken off to the hospital for one reason or another.*
Zech:Hello? Can anyone here me? I've fallen and can't get up! Hello? anyone?
Richard Simmons: I can hear you! Shake shake shake, shake shake shake-
Zech:I hate my life...
The End