Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Days Gone By ❯ Not Alone ( Chapter 9 )

Not Alone

Heero was awakened by something but he wasn't quite sure. Usually he slept lightly so that he could pinpoint anything that's amiss. Heero sat up quietly and strained his ears. His blue eyes peered into the darkness but there was nothing that he could see.

'Maybe I should check the system. There could be a possible breach.' His mind reasoned but then sudden movement from the bed across from him made him stare intently at the body that lay in it. 'Is Duo having night terrors again?'

At that moment, Duo's body sprang straight up, making Heero's eyes widened in shock. He tried to focus on the braided boy's face but it was just too dark. He was only able to make out his outline but from the sound of it, he was breathing in harshly.

Heero said nothing as he watched the boy climb out of bed and out the bedroom door.

'That was strange.' His mind immediately thought. He was curious about Duo. Everything made him curious about the braided baka and it was unusual of Heero to want to know what made him tick. Seeing Duo so serious or awaken in such a manner made him wonder what could be making the ever cheerful teen so restless?

He got up from his own bed and crept down the stairs and secretly searched for him. Using his stealthy skills, Heero hugged the wall and listened carefully for any sounds. Duo was very good a being sneaky, so he just had to be better.

He spied into the bathroom, no sign there. Then he peaked into the living room and nothing. He remembered the one night he walked up on Duo in the kitchen but the braided boy wasn't there either.

Heero's brows furrowed. There were only a few other places left that he could think Duo could have gone but all those places were outside.

Heero's barely audible footsteps made it to the front door and he was right, it was unlocked.

'Why would he be outside?' Heero's mind worked. The shaggy-haired brunet was also getting a little worried but and a little worrying to Heero was very bothersome. He took a step outside and scanned the area. Nothing.

The soldier stepped onto the muddy grass, not caring if he did not have any shoes on and made his way towards his and Duo's gundam.

There were not any perimeter breaches and there was nothing unusual about this night, why would Duo want to get up at such an hour? There were nonstop questions about Duo's peculiar actions so Heero, keeping as quiet as he was capable of, dashed over to the gundam hide out and his blue eyes clearly saw the Deathscythe's open hatch.

'What is he doing?'

His eyes narrowed and just as he inched closer to the black metal leg of the gundam, he heard a cry from inside.

His heart stopped. Was Duo in danger? Was he injured?

Heero wasted no time and climbed quickly up the gundam and as soon as he stepped onto the hatch, a gun was in his face. Heero stood stock still and raised his hands slowly.

"Duo...it's me, Heero." Heero said as he stared beyond the barrel of the gun and into dull violet eyes. They blinked twice before the gun was lowered and Heero stepped up to Duo, his eyes running over the ruffled sleeping clothing but saw no injuries that would endanger the pilot.

"Status!" Heero said in a commanding note. He wanted to know what was wrong with him but Duo only stared at Heero, his eyes somewhat lifeless.

"What'cha doin' here, Heero?" Duo's voice was low and didn't sound like himself at all.

"I followed you." Heero admitted. He was still waiting for an answer but it seemed like Duo wasn't going to answer so he asked again.

Duo stared at him and it made the hairs on the back of Heero's neck stand.

"I am death." Duo started slowly, his eyes peering from beneath long, dark locks into Heero's confused ones. "I bring death to those around me. They have no chance of surviving when I am there."

Heero blinked, not understanding him and not knowing where all this was coming from. Duo's mind set was somewhere obscured, somewhere desolate where no one was there for him, where everyone feared him. This was not the Duo that he normally saw with the wide grin and large, loving eyes. This Duo was Shinigami, where all the blood of those he'd killed rested and where all his deepest and darkest memories resided. It was like he was dealing with a completely different person.

"But you are Duo Maxwell, who brings smiles to many faces and brings a light into many lives. You are the one who keeps us sane, and reminds Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and I that there is a world out there that isn't all about war. You help us go on, Duo. You help us fight for those people that cannot." Heero said but it wasn't enough and when he realized all that Duo has done for the rest of them, what did they do to keep Duo sane?

"I fought for those people too," Duo backed up and his knees bumped his seat. "I did nothing but murder them. Because I was there, they died and because I'm here, more people die. I am nothing more than death itself."

"So that makes me death also?" Heero questioned. Wasn't it true? He was alive and every mission he completed, there were deaths counted. Duo's eyebrows furrowed.

"You didn't kill your family!" Duo snapped. "You didn't kill the people who had nothing to do with the war!" He yelled in Heero's face. But then his voice changed, it was low and filled with disgust. "You did not lie to them and then let them die alone while abandoning them." Tears slipped down Duo's cheeks but the braided teen continued to glower at Heero. Duo wasn't mad at him, he was mad at himself for being alive. "I don't deserve this life I hold, this body, these hands...they killed so many..." He was breaking and Heero was just staring at him, his heart breaking.

Duo stared down at his pale hands, envisioning the blood that once covered them, but then tanned hands blocked his own and he realized that Heero was mimicking Duo, only his hands were on top of Duo's.

"With these hands of mine, I've killed so many innocent people. The first person I shot was when I was a little boy. I was trained to kill and I was perfect because no one would suspect a young boy would pull out a gun and kill them in cold blood. Whatever the target was, I was there, peering at them behind my gun, finger on the trigger, ready for the shot. These hands have been stained with blood, killing men, women and children alike." Heero stepped closer to Duo and noticed the violet eyes become a little brighter. Hoping Heero was getting through to the other teen, he continued on.

"This little girl and her puppy once gave me a flower for no reason. I didn't understand. She was happy where she was. Her life was filled with joy and not a care in the world. That night, I blew up a base near the place I met her. The explosions misfired and blew the mobile suits into the apartment buildings near it, causing one to fall into the next one, then into the next one. Most of the buildings collapsed and were destroyed. They were all filled with families sleeping, not knowing that it would be their last day of life. That little girl did not know and as I walked through the rubble, I found her puppy...dead.

"Something felt wrong inside of me. I did not know what it was but I was saddened and angered at the war. If this war was over, then there would be no one to kill like I do...But I fight on because I fight for them, I fight to end it for the people who have suffered and to make a future so no one will have to grow up like we have." Heero's eyes were soft and he turned his hands and softly caressed the pale hands that were beneath his own. "I have a purpose, in this life, to end the war. And you have a purpose too. We have to fight together, to be there for each other and our friends to help so this does not happen again."

Duo was quiet as he stared down at the tanned, calloused hands that grabbed and held his own gently.

"But I do nothing but kill."

"That is not true. You bring happiness to us. I've never experienced that before and I thought that emotions were useless, that they only made people weak. I was wrong. These feelings I have realized because of you."

Duo's eyes snapped up to Heero's.

"Because of you, Duo, I have laughed, cried, angered, and felt something completely new. Your comradery means more to me than anyone else in this world. More than that. I..." Heero stopped and blushed. He's never spoken so much at once and never revealed so much to another as he did now. "You bring me to new heights, new challenges and bring new feelings to me every time you open your mouth or do something that's meant to cause a reaction from me. Not only me but I see it in the others too. You are a vital part of us, of me."

Heero was squeezing his hands and Duo groaned in discomfort.

"Gomen." Heero apologized and released Duo's hands. Duo realized that he wasn't the only one facing the demons inside, Heero was standing right there, trying to tell him that they all were there doing the same. It was he who was helping them forget, even if it was for a moment that there was happiness in the world and not just war and death.

Tears fell from his eyes again.

"I've been selfish, Duo. I am very sorry about that."

Duo was confused.

"I have not been there for you like you have for me. The other day, at the hotel..."

Duo blushed. He remembered what happened. How could he not?

"I want to know if that is something that you desire because I would like it too. Something inside of me spread warmth throughout my body and my head felt light. I couldn't control my heart and it was something so simple as our lips touched. But I couldn't think of anything else, Duo. I can't think of anything else when it comes to you. I...I don't know why." Heero said.

Duo couldn't believe what he was saying. He felt all that too. Duo was now well out of his dark reverie and focused onto Heero and all he said.

Heero swallowed. He didn't know if he should be sharing this with the other teen but something made him, wanted him to show Duo that Heero needed him.

"I'm being selfish, I shouldn't need someone else like this, but I do. I've never met anyone like you, Duo, and I don't think that I was ever capable of saying something like this if I've never met you. Does that mean something?"

Duo sniffled and nodded.

"I bring something other than death..."

"Baka!" Heero said harshly and grabbed Duo's shoulders. "I did not just say all that only tell you that you don't bring death. It was to tell you that you are more than that, that you mean more to me! I need you..." Heero said right in Duo's face and the braided pilot smiled.

"You know just what to say to make me happy, Hee-chan." Duo gave a small smile, letting Heero know that he was back to himself. Heero smiled too.

"Baka... You scared me." Heero admitted.

"I know. I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Duo mumbled like a little child caught stealing.

"No, just promise you won't deal with it alone. Everyone can help you, like you've helped us. What can I do to help ease your mind? You talk and pull pranks all the time but I don't know what to do. Do you want to eat?"

Duo's tears stopped and he was now grinning like a madman and Heero was becoming weary of it.

Before Heero could suggest something else, Duo placed his finger on Heero's lips and shushed him.

"I never thought I would say this to you but, shut up, Hee-chan, you talk to much."

Duo smiled lovingly at the blue-eyed teen and leaned into kiss him. Their lips touched softly and grazed over each other again and again. Duo and Heero forgot everything else but each other.