Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Death Becomes Him ❯ Putting Two and Two Together ( Chapter 29 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Gundam Wing is copyright...Sotsu, I think it is, and a few other important companies and people. I OWN SHINOBU'S SOUL! Uh, how'd that get there? -_-;;

---------------------------

SATURDAY:

Shi-chan: Clueing up the story....

Duo: Hai...

Shi-chan: Everything goes downhill from here!

---------------------------

Death Becomes Him

~By Shimegami-chan

Part 29

SHOUNEN-AI...ANGST....CUSSING...ETC...

The usual...o.O;;

<So, what am I supposed to do now?>

//.....//

<What? You can't just abandon me!>

//I'm not abandoning you. Technically, that's impossible.//

<But...>

//Remember what I said. Do you believe that those who stay behind are stronger?//

//Then be strong.//

<I..don't understand...>

//You will. Soon enough.//

--------------------------

Heero walked briskly through the bitter cold night, his final destination in mind. /Why has my resolve been shaken so much?/

He walked to the very edge of the cliff and peered into its depths. It wasn't so very long ago that he had stood here in a similar state of mind, the darkness and biting wind taking his breath away. /There's no physical Duo here to stop me this time...but it's harder than before. It's different now that he's let go./

Let go. Was that the right way to think about it? Duo had faced his last moments with more courage than Heero ever thought he could have. It had occurred to Heero more than once that he was indeed taking the coward's way out, and he sat down on the grass to stare into the blackness.

Maybe he would wait until sunrise. That way he could see something beautiful before he went. Or maybe the new day might convince his addled brain what his heart was telling him, to get a hold of himself and go back to Quatre and Trowa and Wufei and pull through this together. Heero feverently wished he felt so, remembering what Duo had said to him: "Don't do anything you might regret." Despite those words etched in his memory and the fear clutching knots in his stomach, Heero's soldier's instincts were telling him one thing: 'You don't need this. You've broken, you're worthless. Best just rid the world of yourself before you endanger someone else's mission.' Deep in his heart Heero knew there was no truth there, just the mindless military indoctrination, and he should tell the Perfect Soldier to just shut the fuck up and listen to Duo's advice. Duo was almost never wrong...and the Perfect Soldier had erred many a time.

Yet Heero still couldn't pull himself away from the cliff. He lay down in the grass and draped his hand over the edge, his other arm tucked under his chin. Eternity passed in the form of several long, drifting, maddeningly mindless hours.

-------------------------

<What's he doing?>

//I'm afraid you already know...//

<Oh, God...>

//Yeah.//

<Isn't there...anything...>

//Anything you can do? I don't know. What are you?//

//Are you strong enough for both of you?//

-------------------------

"Trowa..."

"What?" Trowa lifted his head from his pillow and stifled a yawn.

"Heero's gone." Quatre tapped his fingers nervously against the doorframe. "I haven't seen him since late yesterday...we're going to look for him. Are you coming?"

Trowa was suddenly very much awake.

-------------------------

Heero snapped back to reality as the first rays of sunlight appeared in the distance. "There it is."

Duo had loved seeing the sunrise, if and when he ever got up in time for it. More than once his lover had sat pensively by the window after a long, weary night on a mission and waited for the sun to rise before going to bed. Heero admired its beauty, but preferred that of the sunset. But then again, Heero and Duo had many conflicting ideas--that was why they went so well together. The mere thought of Duo sent needles of ice through Heero's heart. /Ah, koi, it seems my resolve still was not lost./ Heero climbed wearily to his feet and gazed down at the crashing waves below.

//////////////"Do we have to be up this high?"

//////////////"Why not? You like heights."

//////////////"It just makes me a little uneasy. Even you wouldn't survive a fall like that, and you've jumped off ten-story buildings."

//////////////"Hn. I'll stay away from the edge, I guess."

//////////////"Good, koi. If you fell over that I might have to go over after you."

//////////////"And wouldn't I do the same?"

//////////////"Probably. But I wouldn't want you to. I wouldn't want either of us dead."

The conversation with Duo again offered itself up for Heero's inspection. "Oh, Duo...you proved to be the stronger of us two, yet again..."

//Do we have to be up this high?//

"In the daylight, it looks higher," Heero assured the memory.

//Hee-chan...//

"Don't call me that." The memories of the last few days burned in Heero's soul. "Oh, Duo..."

He stiffened and faced the sunrise. "Get a hold of yourself, Yuy." The cold mask of the soldier slipped from his face however, and Heero was left standing on the edge with clenched fists, tears streaming down his face.

---------------------------

//Such pain...//

<Please, you've got to tell me, what can I do!?>

//It's something I can't say. You have to figure this out on your own.//

<But...aren't you supposed to help me?>

//I am you. I am your heart of hearts, your willpower, your love, and your strength. You can depend on me. You can look to me for the answers. But it's not the answers you're looking for now, it's yourself. It's a matter of putting two and two together.//

//Once you make your decision, you'll know what to do.//

---------------------------

Heero looked fondly at the gold cross encircling his fingers before fastening it around his neck.

---------------------------

<You're not helping!>

//I know.//

<Arrrg!>

//Confused?//

//You...?//

<Jesus, the cliff!>

//Think fast.//

<Please! You've got to help!>

//I will...just bring us together...//

<Bring...us?>

//You and I were once one. Not that long ago. But as I said...death did not tear us apart at first, as we were bonded too strongly with each other and with him...but now the bond has been broken. Those traits that make you who you are are caught on one side, while the essence is on the other. They cannot exist apart. The essence should follow the strength, not the other way around, except for in very rare cases...//

<Yeah, keep going!>

//Your courage, your love, your self...possess that power of strength that we spoke of. I told you I believed that those who stay behind have that resolve.//

//You definitely do...else wise we would not be having this discussion. You have to make the decision, and believe in yourself...are you strong enough for all of us?//

<I...yes. Yes!>

//I thought as much.//

//All you need to do is not give up. Take my hand.//

<How? I can't see you. I can't see me...where am I?>

A pair of prussian eyes materialized in the darkness. "Death."

"You...you're me." He stood alone in a world of pitch-black.

The shadow extended a hand that he could not see but somehow knew was there. "As you are me."

--------------------------

The Japanese boy looked into the sparkling sunrise. "Wait for me, Duo."

--------------------------

He gripped the shadow's warm hand. "Now what?"

The shadow nodded. "Now it's up to you."

"But what do I--" a second pair of eyes, colbalt blue, appeared beside the first.

"You already know. Be strong, strong enough for yourself and for him."

He dropped the hand and reached for the second shadow.

-------------------------

Heero closed his eyes and stepped off the edge.

------------------------

Shi-chan: Many people will hate me for that. Including myself.

Duo: You're a liar...you said it would take an hour...

Shi-chan: I needed to reread the first few chapters!

Duo: No, you needed to be chatting on AIM!

Shi-chan: While rereading chapters!

Duo: *sweatdrop*

Shi-chan: More tomorrow...last chapter, minna-san....