Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Death's Promise [Book 1 of 3] ❯ Beginning ( Chapter 9 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
A/N:
-This is the last chapter in this book! Finally! I may start writing the second book, or I may not. I suppose it depends on my mood, amount of free time, and interest. I want to make you guys happy; really I do... I'm just lazy. Heh. And I have a lot of school work. Gr. AND I also have to solidify the plot of the second book, which is really the important thing. So give me time. Or don't, and just give up on me. The latter's probably safer.
-Anyway, it was a lot of fun to write this book. Thank you for those who reviewed and revived my interest for this on more than one occasion. Thank you to those who read and enjoyed even a little bit. Thank you the most to the people who read the whole thing from the beginning, despite my writer's blocks and evil wavering self-esteem. You guys are the ones I write fanfic for. Maybe I'll see you again in Book 2: Death's Antithesis. ...Or maybe something better.
Chapter 9: Beginning
The road of white from Purgatory to Hell was far too long a walk. Or perhaps it only seemed that way to those who walked it. They had never seen Hell in its full glory, yet they had heard the horrible tales. They had heard tales of Purgatory's wrath, too, but what they'd seen was beyond all stories. What, then, did this say about Hell? Perhaps that road was not as long as it seemed after all. On the other hand, perhaps it was longer; Hell's first punishment, perhaps, was the anticipation of arriving there.
The tension was above them like a blanket. Heero, walking with them, was not nearly so afraid of Hell as he was curious. Duo had promised that he would not be going to Hell. Beyond rational reason, he believed Duo. But the tension was contagious. He was surrounded by the hopeless, the fallen, the men and women so stained with Guilt and Sin that their faces seemed distorted into plastic masks by them. Heero wondered what his face would look like if he could see his reflection; would he look like them?
But that brought him back to another problem. There was still something tangible on his forehead that he couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't decipher. What was it? How had it gotten there? How long had it been there? None of the others seemed to have it... He'd asked Duo what it was, and Duo had commented back with a riddle, such as, "You haven't realized yet?" or "You'll figure it out." Heero had wondered if the situation were reversed if he would be as annoying as Duo was being. He doubted it.
The child's voice seemed to be getting louder. He could see her as if she were only a few feet away, tromping about him, pulling his hair, stepping on his feet, calling him a "poor lost sheep," telling him that she would be his shepherd. She was becoming harder to ignore with every step. Her ranting was becoming even less sensible.
Duo was being strangely quiet, Heero finally noticed. On all the other trips, Duo had been talking to Heero almost nonstop, no matter what the topic. Now, though... he just watched the path before them silently, occasionally taking a moment to look down at Heero from his horse and smile reassuringly.
Frankly, it was unnerving.
What was Duo so preoccupied with? What could he possibly be thinking about? Why was he acting so strangely all of a sudden? What had happened? And wh--
Suddenly, Heero noticed that they were passing other souls. Strange. The men and women were lined exactly one behind the other, all looking straight at the hair of the head before them. Heero narrowed his eyes, noticing that they didn't even blink.
The group from Purgatory, Heero included, stopped with Death. Duo had jumped down from his horse by this time and was standing next to one such soul. He tried talking to the soul, asking it questions, but he got no response. Finally frustrated, he grabbed the soul's arm and started pulling backwards. As soon as the man was slightly out of alignment, he sprang to life, flailing his arm, shouting for help and, finally, punching Duo clear across the face.
Duo fell back a few steps staring incredulously. The soul was back in line, staring at the head in front of him, unmoving. He muttered with reverence, "What the hell...?"
The voice in Heero's head was laughing loudly. Heero looked over to the soul next to him. It was an old woman, probably around 70. She had her hands crossed before her, holding a purse tightly to her stomach. Her eyes were unblinking, just like the rest. Curious, Heero reached out and grabbed the woman's arm. She remained unmoving. He took the purse from her, wrenching out of her grip. Still, the woman didn't flinch. Heero grabbed the woman's arm again, this time pulling her out of line. She suddenly snapped awake, crying "thief!" and grabbing her purse back, shuffling back into line, where she was silent once more. Strange.
He turned to Duo. "Are we supposed to get on this line?"
"No!" The shout startled all members of the group. Duo spoke through his teeth. "Don't any of you think about it, all right? Just..." He shook his head. "Just wait here." He started stomping down the line toward its beginning, only to turn back and remind, "Don't get on this line!" His horse followed obediently as Duo began running.
Heero paused for only a minute before running after Duo.
The rest of the souls remained, as they were told. Not five minutes later, however, all of them were at the end of the line, staring blankly ahead, waiting for their number to be called.
***
Quatre was sitting on a bench made of grey stone, staring at his hand: the hand that had touched Trowa's bare skin, the hand that had proven just how deep his misplaced love was, the hand that had cast him out of God's light, the hand that would cause him to fall from grace in a only matter of time just for touching a hand less pure. This hand was shaking uncontrollably under his gaze.
In another corner of the room, Catherine whispered, "Well, I don't know." She crossed her arms. "Nothing like this has ever happened before in Hephess."
"I know that, Catherine." Trowa whispered back to her, glancing over at Quatre again. "But we have to do something."
Quatre, feeling the eyes on him looked up and smiled thinly. Neither Catherine nor Trowa smiled back. They looked at each other. Catherine asked, "Well, doesn't he know how it works?" Quatre's smile dropped quickly, and he went back to contemplating his shaking hand.
Trowa debated back in an even whisper, "Why should he?"
"I don't know." She defended herself. "Hasn't he known angels that have fallen? Or heard stories, at least?"
Hesitantly, Trowa spared another glance at the angel across the room. He couldn't help but wince as another white feather wafted gently to the floor, turning off-white, then grey, then finally black all before it hit the ground. Guilt wasn't even the word for it; there had to be something stronger to define the way he was feeling. "He said he couldn't remember an angel actually falling in his existence, and that the stories he heard were all exaggerated to the point of unreliability." He looked back toward Catherine as another two or three feathers fell; it was painful to watch. "He doesn't know."
"Duo-sama would." She added with optimism. "When he gets back, we can just ask."
Trowa didn't want to say that Quatre might not last that long. The feathers were all falling out so quickly... And what happened when they were all gone? What would the bare wings look like? And then what? Would they just... Morbid curiosity, not concern, Trowa scolded himself silently. He simply conceded instead, "Yes."
Knowing there was nothing else to say or do, Catherine vanished to find Wufei and Hilde and ask them. Her shift didn't start for another hour, as strange as it was that they were all home at once (save Duo), so she had time to spare. Wufei probably wouldn't know, but maybe Hilde would; maybe Duo had told her once. Catherine went to ask the gatekeeper.
Why was he so hesitant to just go over and sit next to Quatre? There was something... something wrong about it all. More wrong that even human death, more sad and twisted and illogical. Angels shouldn't fall. It... It wasn't right. What had Quatre done to deserve this? He was still as loyal to God as he had ever been, wasn't he? Quatre had done nothing wrong; Trowa was sure of it. Nothing. There was pale skin showing between the feathers now, perfect skin like Quatre's hands, which were still shaking as he stared at them with unmercifully contemplation.
He was afraid, that was why. He was afraid that if he touched Quatre again, even came close to touching him, that the angel would break completely, shatter like a glass figurine. Look how much one brief touch had done. Imagine something longer, or more intimate... It could very well shatter him completely. A longer feather fell this time, longer than any hunting bird's. It fell white, faded grey, then black, and hit the floor soundlessly, adding to the building pile. And it was all his fault that those perfect feathers were burning in midair. All his fault... Trowa sat down where he stood, still shadowed by the comforting wall of Hephess which he leaned against. He sat, leaned forward, and buried his face in the soft black cloth of his sleeves, taking comfort in the familiar smell of it. It wasn't fair to Quatre. It wasn't. Nothing was fair.
The angel and the shade, in purest silence, sat, and sat, and waited for an answer.
***
Duo slammed his hands down on Une's desk, a few papers flying off to land on Limbo's white ground. "What the hell is this all about?"
Une raised a thin brick-colored eyebrow and stared down at Duo's hands as they crumpled her papers. She pulled a few out from beneath his grasp and straightened them. "I have no idea what you mean, Death-sama."
"Oh, spare me." Duo shot back, straightening. He gestured to the line. "This. This wasn't here yesterday. What's going on?"
Une grabbed a few papers from the floor and put them back on her desk. "If you please, Death-sama, I'm very busy right now. If you'd like to make an appointment," she smirked, "You'll have to go to the end of the line."
Duo growled. "This is wrong." He whirled around to face the line and shouted back, "I'll prove this is wrong!" He started at the first one and began asking the souls their names. Not one responded. When he had asked the twenty-first, who was a young boy no older than six, and still got no response, he pulled the boy out of line. The small soul fought wildly against him, resorting to kicking and biting Duo's hand, but Duo held on and asked Une bitterly, "Go ahead. Tell me his name. List his sins." Without giving her a chance to respond, he continued, "You can't do it, can you? I'll tell you why you can't! He's not on your list. He doesn't belong here!" He shouted furiously at her, "He did nothing! That's his sin! Why is here?!"
The gatekeeper looked the boy over impassively, then stated, "If he wants to be here, then you cannot stop him, Death-sama." She smiled knowingly. "So please, put him back."
Inhaling sharply once, Duo let go, and the boy ran back to his exact position in line. With a dark expression, Duo strode toward Une and leaned over her desk, meeting her red eyes with a glare. "I don't know what you did to them, demon..."
"I did nothing."
"...but, I will find out what it is. And Satan help you when I do, because you haven't seen what punishment can be."
She met his glare evenly and repeated slowly. "I. Did. Noth-ing. They are here of their own free will, Death-sama." Une snarled. "And even you cannot sway that."
He pointed at the line. "You call that free will?"
Une looked down at her papers. "I have business to attend, if you don't mind terribly."
"I do mind."
"I don't care what you mind."
He shouted, "Don't you dare disrespect me, demon!"
She stood up from her desk, "You're not my god!"
Duo's eyes widened.
Une flinched, but didn't retract what she'd said.
Duo scoffed softly. "So that's what this has come to, huh?" He saw Une's jaw clench, but she held her ground. "Fine." After a moment, Duo turned sharply on his heel, robes flowing out behind him. "I'll expect a meeting with 'your god.' " He walked evenly away, his horse in tow.
Heero, who had been watching the argument, remained unmoved, utterly confused as to what had just happened. After a moment of hesitation, he began following Duo when a voice from behind called, "Where do you think you're going, Heero Yuy?" He stopped in his steps and turned around.
Une was sitting once more, her back rigid in the chair. "You can't go anywhere. You sold yourself. Mariemeia-sama owns you."
He looked over to where Duo was heading, then back to Une.
"Don't deny it." Une snarled. "The proof is on burned into your skin. We both know it."
Still walking away, Duo called out, "C'mon Heero, before you get lost."
Une continued, "You can't run from what you are, Heero Yuy."
Heero looked at Une once more, then down at his feet and followed after Duo. He could hear Une shouting after him. The voice in his head was screaming over Une's, calling him stupid, telling him that he was only delaying it, so why bother?, telling him that he was being controlled by Death, that Death was leading him like he had a leash, telling him that nothing good would come of this, telling him that he should just stay in Hell where he belonged!
When Heero finally caught up with Duo, he asked what had just happened.
Duo glanced over at Heero, then smiled brightly. "Hey, don't worry about it. I told you you weren't going to Hell." He laughed. "Did you really want to wait on that line?"
"No..." Heero glanced behind him at the receding gate and its keeper. He turned back to Duo. "So what now?"
Duo smiled back. "You ever wonder what Hephess is like?"
He nodded, willing Duo to continue, though the child's voice in his head was still screaming.
***
Une was nervous. It was only hours after her confrontation with Death, and now she had been called into Satan's chambers. She didn't know why. The demon tried not to show it, walking steadily with one hand on her hip and the other clenched at her side. Still... her eyes darted around the room suspiciously, like a caged animal's.
The heavy doors opened for her, and she walked into the room with feigned ease.
"Lady Une," the god behind the high backed chair cooed.
"Yes, Mariemeia-sama?"
The child's voice was silent for a moment before she said excitedly, "I've had another vision, Lady. Would you like to hear it?"
Une bit her lip softly, then asked, "Of what is it this time, may I ask?"
"You may." The child giggled, swiveling her chair around to watch Une as she spoke. She began talking with enthusiasm. "Him. It was a vision of him again. And I was at a door. A large door. A door to something of great scale, I knew it! A great, wonderful door. And he was there. Him, the one I've told you about. He was at the door, also. And we stood there. We stood there at the wonderful door. Then I realized that to open this door, I needed a key. I asked him for the key. He said he did not have it. He was lying, I could tell! I told him he was lying. He told me he was not. But he was! I knew he was! I told him to come to me so that I might open the door, but he refused. He would not help me open the door. So I went to him, there in front of the door and I killed him, easily, with my bare energy. And, do you know what then? Do you?"
She hesitated, then whispered, "What then?"
Mariemeia giggled, clasping her hands together. "I was right! He was lying. He knew where the key was! He WAS the key. Him! All this time. I took his blood on my hands, and it was the key. His blood opened the door. And it was glorious. I was glorious then."
Une bowed her head and asked submissively, "What do you wish me to do?"
There was silence for a moment. "I've called to him, told him to come to me, but he will not. He will not, just like in my vision. But I need the key, Lady! I need the key to open the door." She spoke seriously for the first time. "I'm asking you, Lady Une. Find my key. Bring him back here so that I may open the door." She was excited again, "I need my key. I need it. I need it to open that door! You understand, don't you?"
"Yes, Mariemeia-sama." Une bowed deeply, then turned and walked out; the doors closed behind her. She leaned against one and sighed heavily. She whispered to the ceiling, "Treize-sama, I'm trying." She kicked off of the door and began walking with her head down, muttering, "But it's harder than I imagined it would be caring for a child of yours." Before returning to her desk, Une detoured through Hell to find a certain room. She wandered down hallways until she found the one she was looking for, then opened it wide. The occupants within straightened immediately, looking at the demon that had entered with suspicion. Une ordered harshly, "I don't know who's turn it is, but I need one of you for a very important job, so get out here. Now." The girls all pointed at one of their own. The blonde being pointed at stood fluidly and walked up to Une, then followed her out as the demon explained the circumstances of the "job."
"This is important." She barked at the young girl trailing behind her. "If you are not successful, do not even bother returning. You would be better off not existing that to come back unsuccessful. Do you understand?"
The blonde girl nodded, her eyes hidden by her thick blonde bangs. "I do."
"Good." She brought the blonde girl through the gate and to her desk, where she rifled through a few drawers before pulling out a folder. "His name is Heero Yuy. All of the information you need is there." Une handed the folder over to the girl, who took it and began leafing through its contents. "He's heading toward Hephess as we speak, and you must get to him before he's entered, and you must do everything in your power to keep him from becoming a shade, do you understand?"
"Heero Yuy..." Her bright blue eyes ran over his photo, "Mm..." and through some of the information. "A soul? What makes him so important?"
Une replied sharply, "That's not your concern. Just get the job done."
She raised her blonde head. "You want him brought back? In one piece?"
"Yes. As soon as possible."
The girl nodded, looking down into the folder in her hands. She smiled. "I think I can manage that."
Une scoffed. "You'd better."
She took the photo from the folder and handed the rest back to Une. "One soul on a silver platter..." The picture in hand, she formed a fist that burst into flames, then died back down. When she opened her hand, the picture was gone. "...Coming up."
***
The screaming voice had died down until it was barely audible in the back of his mind. The further he got from Hell, it seemed, the softer the voice became.
After Duo had described Hephess in great detail, the conversation lulled for a while. Then, Heero asked, "What's going on?"
He glanced over at Heero, who was looking at his feet. "What do you mean?"
Heero shrugged. "That conversation with Une. What did she mean about being her god? And why was that so offensive?"
Duo grew very silent about that and didn't answer for a long time. "Things... are complicated... right now, Heero."
"What's that mean?" Heero was used to being told half truths. He'd never liked it.
Sighing, Duo attempted to explain. "There are politics to Hephess and Hell and Heaven, too, like on Earth. We... don't get along well. And... things happen, not good things, and we get mad at each other, and there are tensions...
"It's all about balance." He tried it from another angle. "Everyone's got to get along for all of the domains to run smoothly." He grumbled. "Unfortunately, some gods, who will remain nameless (God and Satan), refuse to just compromise on anything. Then there are power struggles, and sacrifices, and arguments, and wars, and..."
Heero broke in here, "Wars?"
Duo flinched. "Yeah." He glared at the white before them. "Lots of wars."
"Who fights them?"
He glanced over at Heero again, but said nothing.
"Who fights them?" Heero repeated, his attention held. "Who are the soldiers?"
Duo ran a hand through his bangs before replying wearily. "Angels. Demons. Shades. You know: the kids." He muttered, "It's always the kids."
Impartially, he asked, "And you're okay with that?"
"No, I'm not 'okay' with it!" He shot back.
Heero returned, "Then why do you let it happen?"
"Well, who else is going to fight?"
"You." He answered evenly. "The gods. The ones with the arguments."
Duo shook his head. "You know it's not that easy, Heero. Look at Human wars. Do the emperors fight? The presidents? The political figureheads?"
"...No." He stared at his shoes again.
"They send the kids."
"...Yeah."
There was a long, gloomy silence after that as they both considered war and its unfairness. Eventually, Heero's mind began wandering to other, more pressing matters.
Like where they were going, for instance. They were going to Hephess. And Duo wanted Heero as one of his shades, one of his kids, one of his soldiers. ...Maybe more than that.... or maybe even less.
As it was, though, Heero was in no position to argue, so he kept his mouth shut and was led by Death, once again, to yet another distant destination from which he might never escape. Like Limbo. Like Heaven. Like Hell.
After dwelling on it, Heero realized that he was confused, but what was new? He didn't know exactly what Duo's motives were, he didn't know if he WANTED to know, and he didn't know what he wanted them to be. He didn't know if he liked that he was being taken to Hephess or if he liked that he would, most likely, become a permanent resident of the place. He didn't know what being a shade was like, what it entailed, and he didn't know if he would fit in with the others (and, aside from Trowa, exactly how many "others" there were and what they were like). He didn't know if he could handle the responsibility of collecting souls and delivering them to their resting places for all eternity. He didn't know if he WANTED that responsibility. He didn't know what kind of trouble he was causing by not going to Hell, if he was worth that trouble, or if it was worth going back to Hell just to prevent this trouble. He didn't know which of the now hundreds of visions he'd had were real, what any of them meant, why the voices hadn't stopped, or why that damn child hadn't stopped pestering him! He was just so damn helpless, lost, and confused.
Always so lost.
And a failure, his mind supplied.
And owned by Satan, another part of his subconscious reminded.
And being led, like a mindless machine, by Death, another part added in.
He glanced over at Duo. What difference did it make, really? Death or Satan? Hephess or Hell? WAS there a difference?
When had he lost his free will? When had become a... a possession to be played with? A toy to be tossed around and pulled between two jealous toddlers? Heero had ALWAYS made his own decisions when he'd been alive! Yes, he'd taken orders, but it'd been up to HIM whether he'd followed those orders or not. At least then he had the option!
The more he thought about it, dwelled on it, the more it bothered him. What gave Duo the RIGHT to save him from Hell? What if Heero WANTED to go to Hell, huh? Or what if Heero want to go back to Purgatory and try again? He could do that! Or wonder around for the rest of Eternity? What if Heero just didn't want to be one of Duo's mindless followers, bowing and groveling and using honorifics, like Trowa was? It was about time Heero stopped being lost and started finding himself, since no one else would. When he got to Hephess, then he'd start. Yes. Then, he'd tell Duo exactly what he thought: that Duo couldn't control him anymore, just because Duo happened to be Death and a god. All Heero had in this strange world was his soul, and he'd be damned it he was just going to give it up to whoever placed the highest bid!
Yes. It was settled, then. As soon as they reached Hephess, Heero was leaving. He was already lost in every way, why not become lost literally, too? What difference would it make, save that he would have done something voluntarily for once? It was his decision, damn it! And nobody, not Satan, not Duo, not even God would be able to stop him. Yes. Heero was sick of being dragged around from one corner of Limbo to another. He was sick of it! He was sick of being controlled.
Duo glanced over warily then, just quickly, before returning his gaze back to his destination.
Yes. Heero, too glared at the horizon. He had decided. The next chance he got, Heero Yuy was taking his freedom, and his dignity, back for himself.
To Hell with being lost.
***
End of Book One: Death's Promise.
***
-This is the last chapter in this book! Finally! I may start writing the second book, or I may not. I suppose it depends on my mood, amount of free time, and interest. I want to make you guys happy; really I do... I'm just lazy. Heh. And I have a lot of school work. Gr. AND I also have to solidify the plot of the second book, which is really the important thing. So give me time. Or don't, and just give up on me. The latter's probably safer.
-Anyway, it was a lot of fun to write this book. Thank you for those who reviewed and revived my interest for this on more than one occasion. Thank you to those who read and enjoyed even a little bit. Thank you the most to the people who read the whole thing from the beginning, despite my writer's blocks and evil wavering self-esteem. You guys are the ones I write fanfic for. Maybe I'll see you again in Book 2: Death's Antithesis. ...Or maybe something better.
Chapter 9: Beginning
The road of white from Purgatory to Hell was far too long a walk. Or perhaps it only seemed that way to those who walked it. They had never seen Hell in its full glory, yet they had heard the horrible tales. They had heard tales of Purgatory's wrath, too, but what they'd seen was beyond all stories. What, then, did this say about Hell? Perhaps that road was not as long as it seemed after all. On the other hand, perhaps it was longer; Hell's first punishment, perhaps, was the anticipation of arriving there.
The tension was above them like a blanket. Heero, walking with them, was not nearly so afraid of Hell as he was curious. Duo had promised that he would not be going to Hell. Beyond rational reason, he believed Duo. But the tension was contagious. He was surrounded by the hopeless, the fallen, the men and women so stained with Guilt and Sin that their faces seemed distorted into plastic masks by them. Heero wondered what his face would look like if he could see his reflection; would he look like them?
But that brought him back to another problem. There was still something tangible on his forehead that he couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't decipher. What was it? How had it gotten there? How long had it been there? None of the others seemed to have it... He'd asked Duo what it was, and Duo had commented back with a riddle, such as, "You haven't realized yet?" or "You'll figure it out." Heero had wondered if the situation were reversed if he would be as annoying as Duo was being. He doubted it.
The child's voice seemed to be getting louder. He could see her as if she were only a few feet away, tromping about him, pulling his hair, stepping on his feet, calling him a "poor lost sheep," telling him that she would be his shepherd. She was becoming harder to ignore with every step. Her ranting was becoming even less sensible.
Duo was being strangely quiet, Heero finally noticed. On all the other trips, Duo had been talking to Heero almost nonstop, no matter what the topic. Now, though... he just watched the path before them silently, occasionally taking a moment to look down at Heero from his horse and smile reassuringly.
Frankly, it was unnerving.
What was Duo so preoccupied with? What could he possibly be thinking about? Why was he acting so strangely all of a sudden? What had happened? And wh--
Suddenly, Heero noticed that they were passing other souls. Strange. The men and women were lined exactly one behind the other, all looking straight at the hair of the head before them. Heero narrowed his eyes, noticing that they didn't even blink.
The group from Purgatory, Heero included, stopped with Death. Duo had jumped down from his horse by this time and was standing next to one such soul. He tried talking to the soul, asking it questions, but he got no response. Finally frustrated, he grabbed the soul's arm and started pulling backwards. As soon as the man was slightly out of alignment, he sprang to life, flailing his arm, shouting for help and, finally, punching Duo clear across the face.
Duo fell back a few steps staring incredulously. The soul was back in line, staring at the head in front of him, unmoving. He muttered with reverence, "What the hell...?"
The voice in Heero's head was laughing loudly. Heero looked over to the soul next to him. It was an old woman, probably around 70. She had her hands crossed before her, holding a purse tightly to her stomach. Her eyes were unblinking, just like the rest. Curious, Heero reached out and grabbed the woman's arm. She remained unmoving. He took the purse from her, wrenching out of her grip. Still, the woman didn't flinch. Heero grabbed the woman's arm again, this time pulling her out of line. She suddenly snapped awake, crying "thief!" and grabbing her purse back, shuffling back into line, where she was silent once more. Strange.
He turned to Duo. "Are we supposed to get on this line?"
"No!" The shout startled all members of the group. Duo spoke through his teeth. "Don't any of you think about it, all right? Just..." He shook his head. "Just wait here." He started stomping down the line toward its beginning, only to turn back and remind, "Don't get on this line!" His horse followed obediently as Duo began running.
Heero paused for only a minute before running after Duo.
The rest of the souls remained, as they were told. Not five minutes later, however, all of them were at the end of the line, staring blankly ahead, waiting for their number to be called.
***
Quatre was sitting on a bench made of grey stone, staring at his hand: the hand that had touched Trowa's bare skin, the hand that had proven just how deep his misplaced love was, the hand that had cast him out of God's light, the hand that would cause him to fall from grace in a only matter of time just for touching a hand less pure. This hand was shaking uncontrollably under his gaze.
In another corner of the room, Catherine whispered, "Well, I don't know." She crossed her arms. "Nothing like this has ever happened before in Hephess."
"I know that, Catherine." Trowa whispered back to her, glancing over at Quatre again. "But we have to do something."
Quatre, feeling the eyes on him looked up and smiled thinly. Neither Catherine nor Trowa smiled back. They looked at each other. Catherine asked, "Well, doesn't he know how it works?" Quatre's smile dropped quickly, and he went back to contemplating his shaking hand.
Trowa debated back in an even whisper, "Why should he?"
"I don't know." She defended herself. "Hasn't he known angels that have fallen? Or heard stories, at least?"
Hesitantly, Trowa spared another glance at the angel across the room. He couldn't help but wince as another white feather wafted gently to the floor, turning off-white, then grey, then finally black all before it hit the ground. Guilt wasn't even the word for it; there had to be something stronger to define the way he was feeling. "He said he couldn't remember an angel actually falling in his existence, and that the stories he heard were all exaggerated to the point of unreliability." He looked back toward Catherine as another two or three feathers fell; it was painful to watch. "He doesn't know."
"Duo-sama would." She added with optimism. "When he gets back, we can just ask."
Trowa didn't want to say that Quatre might not last that long. The feathers were all falling out so quickly... And what happened when they were all gone? What would the bare wings look like? And then what? Would they just... Morbid curiosity, not concern, Trowa scolded himself silently. He simply conceded instead, "Yes."
Knowing there was nothing else to say or do, Catherine vanished to find Wufei and Hilde and ask them. Her shift didn't start for another hour, as strange as it was that they were all home at once (save Duo), so she had time to spare. Wufei probably wouldn't know, but maybe Hilde would; maybe Duo had told her once. Catherine went to ask the gatekeeper.
Why was he so hesitant to just go over and sit next to Quatre? There was something... something wrong about it all. More wrong that even human death, more sad and twisted and illogical. Angels shouldn't fall. It... It wasn't right. What had Quatre done to deserve this? He was still as loyal to God as he had ever been, wasn't he? Quatre had done nothing wrong; Trowa was sure of it. Nothing. There was pale skin showing between the feathers now, perfect skin like Quatre's hands, which were still shaking as he stared at them with unmercifully contemplation.
He was afraid, that was why. He was afraid that if he touched Quatre again, even came close to touching him, that the angel would break completely, shatter like a glass figurine. Look how much one brief touch had done. Imagine something longer, or more intimate... It could very well shatter him completely. A longer feather fell this time, longer than any hunting bird's. It fell white, faded grey, then black, and hit the floor soundlessly, adding to the building pile. And it was all his fault that those perfect feathers were burning in midair. All his fault... Trowa sat down where he stood, still shadowed by the comforting wall of Hephess which he leaned against. He sat, leaned forward, and buried his face in the soft black cloth of his sleeves, taking comfort in the familiar smell of it. It wasn't fair to Quatre. It wasn't. Nothing was fair.
The angel and the shade, in purest silence, sat, and sat, and waited for an answer.
***
Duo slammed his hands down on Une's desk, a few papers flying off to land on Limbo's white ground. "What the hell is this all about?"
Une raised a thin brick-colored eyebrow and stared down at Duo's hands as they crumpled her papers. She pulled a few out from beneath his grasp and straightened them. "I have no idea what you mean, Death-sama."
"Oh, spare me." Duo shot back, straightening. He gestured to the line. "This. This wasn't here yesterday. What's going on?"
Une grabbed a few papers from the floor and put them back on her desk. "If you please, Death-sama, I'm very busy right now. If you'd like to make an appointment," she smirked, "You'll have to go to the end of the line."
Duo growled. "This is wrong." He whirled around to face the line and shouted back, "I'll prove this is wrong!" He started at the first one and began asking the souls their names. Not one responded. When he had asked the twenty-first, who was a young boy no older than six, and still got no response, he pulled the boy out of line. The small soul fought wildly against him, resorting to kicking and biting Duo's hand, but Duo held on and asked Une bitterly, "Go ahead. Tell me his name. List his sins." Without giving her a chance to respond, he continued, "You can't do it, can you? I'll tell you why you can't! He's not on your list. He doesn't belong here!" He shouted furiously at her, "He did nothing! That's his sin! Why is here?!"
The gatekeeper looked the boy over impassively, then stated, "If he wants to be here, then you cannot stop him, Death-sama." She smiled knowingly. "So please, put him back."
Inhaling sharply once, Duo let go, and the boy ran back to his exact position in line. With a dark expression, Duo strode toward Une and leaned over her desk, meeting her red eyes with a glare. "I don't know what you did to them, demon..."
"I did nothing."
"...but, I will find out what it is. And Satan help you when I do, because you haven't seen what punishment can be."
She met his glare evenly and repeated slowly. "I. Did. Noth-ing. They are here of their own free will, Death-sama." Une snarled. "And even you cannot sway that."
He pointed at the line. "You call that free will?"
Une looked down at her papers. "I have business to attend, if you don't mind terribly."
"I do mind."
"I don't care what you mind."
He shouted, "Don't you dare disrespect me, demon!"
She stood up from her desk, "You're not my god!"
Duo's eyes widened.
Une flinched, but didn't retract what she'd said.
Duo scoffed softly. "So that's what this has come to, huh?" He saw Une's jaw clench, but she held her ground. "Fine." After a moment, Duo turned sharply on his heel, robes flowing out behind him. "I'll expect a meeting with 'your god.' " He walked evenly away, his horse in tow.
Heero, who had been watching the argument, remained unmoved, utterly confused as to what had just happened. After a moment of hesitation, he began following Duo when a voice from behind called, "Where do you think you're going, Heero Yuy?" He stopped in his steps and turned around.
Une was sitting once more, her back rigid in the chair. "You can't go anywhere. You sold yourself. Mariemeia-sama owns you."
He looked over to where Duo was heading, then back to Une.
"Don't deny it." Une snarled. "The proof is on burned into your skin. We both know it."
Still walking away, Duo called out, "C'mon Heero, before you get lost."
Une continued, "You can't run from what you are, Heero Yuy."
Heero looked at Une once more, then down at his feet and followed after Duo. He could hear Une shouting after him. The voice in his head was screaming over Une's, calling him stupid, telling him that he was only delaying it, so why bother?, telling him that he was being controlled by Death, that Death was leading him like he had a leash, telling him that nothing good would come of this, telling him that he should just stay in Hell where he belonged!
When Heero finally caught up with Duo, he asked what had just happened.
Duo glanced over at Heero, then smiled brightly. "Hey, don't worry about it. I told you you weren't going to Hell." He laughed. "Did you really want to wait on that line?"
"No..." Heero glanced behind him at the receding gate and its keeper. He turned back to Duo. "So what now?"
Duo smiled back. "You ever wonder what Hephess is like?"
He nodded, willing Duo to continue, though the child's voice in his head was still screaming.
***
Une was nervous. It was only hours after her confrontation with Death, and now she had been called into Satan's chambers. She didn't know why. The demon tried not to show it, walking steadily with one hand on her hip and the other clenched at her side. Still... her eyes darted around the room suspiciously, like a caged animal's.
The heavy doors opened for her, and she walked into the room with feigned ease.
"Lady Une," the god behind the high backed chair cooed.
"Yes, Mariemeia-sama?"
The child's voice was silent for a moment before she said excitedly, "I've had another vision, Lady. Would you like to hear it?"
Une bit her lip softly, then asked, "Of what is it this time, may I ask?"
"You may." The child giggled, swiveling her chair around to watch Une as she spoke. She began talking with enthusiasm. "Him. It was a vision of him again. And I was at a door. A large door. A door to something of great scale, I knew it! A great, wonderful door. And he was there. Him, the one I've told you about. He was at the door, also. And we stood there. We stood there at the wonderful door. Then I realized that to open this door, I needed a key. I asked him for the key. He said he did not have it. He was lying, I could tell! I told him he was lying. He told me he was not. But he was! I knew he was! I told him to come to me so that I might open the door, but he refused. He would not help me open the door. So I went to him, there in front of the door and I killed him, easily, with my bare energy. And, do you know what then? Do you?"
She hesitated, then whispered, "What then?"
Mariemeia giggled, clasping her hands together. "I was right! He was lying. He knew where the key was! He WAS the key. Him! All this time. I took his blood on my hands, and it was the key. His blood opened the door. And it was glorious. I was glorious then."
Une bowed her head and asked submissively, "What do you wish me to do?"
There was silence for a moment. "I've called to him, told him to come to me, but he will not. He will not, just like in my vision. But I need the key, Lady! I need the key to open the door." She spoke seriously for the first time. "I'm asking you, Lady Une. Find my key. Bring him back here so that I may open the door." She was excited again, "I need my key. I need it. I need it to open that door! You understand, don't you?"
"Yes, Mariemeia-sama." Une bowed deeply, then turned and walked out; the doors closed behind her. She leaned against one and sighed heavily. She whispered to the ceiling, "Treize-sama, I'm trying." She kicked off of the door and began walking with her head down, muttering, "But it's harder than I imagined it would be caring for a child of yours." Before returning to her desk, Une detoured through Hell to find a certain room. She wandered down hallways until she found the one she was looking for, then opened it wide. The occupants within straightened immediately, looking at the demon that had entered with suspicion. Une ordered harshly, "I don't know who's turn it is, but I need one of you for a very important job, so get out here. Now." The girls all pointed at one of their own. The blonde being pointed at stood fluidly and walked up to Une, then followed her out as the demon explained the circumstances of the "job."
"This is important." She barked at the young girl trailing behind her. "If you are not successful, do not even bother returning. You would be better off not existing that to come back unsuccessful. Do you understand?"
The blonde girl nodded, her eyes hidden by her thick blonde bangs. "I do."
"Good." She brought the blonde girl through the gate and to her desk, where she rifled through a few drawers before pulling out a folder. "His name is Heero Yuy. All of the information you need is there." Une handed the folder over to the girl, who took it and began leafing through its contents. "He's heading toward Hephess as we speak, and you must get to him before he's entered, and you must do everything in your power to keep him from becoming a shade, do you understand?"
"Heero Yuy..." Her bright blue eyes ran over his photo, "Mm..." and through some of the information. "A soul? What makes him so important?"
Une replied sharply, "That's not your concern. Just get the job done."
She raised her blonde head. "You want him brought back? In one piece?"
"Yes. As soon as possible."
The girl nodded, looking down into the folder in her hands. She smiled. "I think I can manage that."
Une scoffed. "You'd better."
She took the photo from the folder and handed the rest back to Une. "One soul on a silver platter..." The picture in hand, she formed a fist that burst into flames, then died back down. When she opened her hand, the picture was gone. "...Coming up."
***
The screaming voice had died down until it was barely audible in the back of his mind. The further he got from Hell, it seemed, the softer the voice became.
After Duo had described Hephess in great detail, the conversation lulled for a while. Then, Heero asked, "What's going on?"
He glanced over at Heero, who was looking at his feet. "What do you mean?"
Heero shrugged. "That conversation with Une. What did she mean about being her god? And why was that so offensive?"
Duo grew very silent about that and didn't answer for a long time. "Things... are complicated... right now, Heero."
"What's that mean?" Heero was used to being told half truths. He'd never liked it.
Sighing, Duo attempted to explain. "There are politics to Hephess and Hell and Heaven, too, like on Earth. We... don't get along well. And... things happen, not good things, and we get mad at each other, and there are tensions...
"It's all about balance." He tried it from another angle. "Everyone's got to get along for all of the domains to run smoothly." He grumbled. "Unfortunately, some gods, who will remain nameless (God and Satan), refuse to just compromise on anything. Then there are power struggles, and sacrifices, and arguments, and wars, and..."
Heero broke in here, "Wars?"
Duo flinched. "Yeah." He glared at the white before them. "Lots of wars."
"Who fights them?"
He glanced over at Heero again, but said nothing.
"Who fights them?" Heero repeated, his attention held. "Who are the soldiers?"
Duo ran a hand through his bangs before replying wearily. "Angels. Demons. Shades. You know: the kids." He muttered, "It's always the kids."
Impartially, he asked, "And you're okay with that?"
"No, I'm not 'okay' with it!" He shot back.
Heero returned, "Then why do you let it happen?"
"Well, who else is going to fight?"
"You." He answered evenly. "The gods. The ones with the arguments."
Duo shook his head. "You know it's not that easy, Heero. Look at Human wars. Do the emperors fight? The presidents? The political figureheads?"
"...No." He stared at his shoes again.
"They send the kids."
"...Yeah."
There was a long, gloomy silence after that as they both considered war and its unfairness. Eventually, Heero's mind began wandering to other, more pressing matters.
Like where they were going, for instance. They were going to Hephess. And Duo wanted Heero as one of his shades, one of his kids, one of his soldiers. ...Maybe more than that.... or maybe even less.
As it was, though, Heero was in no position to argue, so he kept his mouth shut and was led by Death, once again, to yet another distant destination from which he might never escape. Like Limbo. Like Heaven. Like Hell.
After dwelling on it, Heero realized that he was confused, but what was new? He didn't know exactly what Duo's motives were, he didn't know if he WANTED to know, and he didn't know what he wanted them to be. He didn't know if he liked that he was being taken to Hephess or if he liked that he would, most likely, become a permanent resident of the place. He didn't know what being a shade was like, what it entailed, and he didn't know if he would fit in with the others (and, aside from Trowa, exactly how many "others" there were and what they were like). He didn't know if he could handle the responsibility of collecting souls and delivering them to their resting places for all eternity. He didn't know if he WANTED that responsibility. He didn't know what kind of trouble he was causing by not going to Hell, if he was worth that trouble, or if it was worth going back to Hell just to prevent this trouble. He didn't know which of the now hundreds of visions he'd had were real, what any of them meant, why the voices hadn't stopped, or why that damn child hadn't stopped pestering him! He was just so damn helpless, lost, and confused.
Always so lost.
And a failure, his mind supplied.
And owned by Satan, another part of his subconscious reminded.
And being led, like a mindless machine, by Death, another part added in.
He glanced over at Duo. What difference did it make, really? Death or Satan? Hephess or Hell? WAS there a difference?
When had he lost his free will? When had become a... a possession to be played with? A toy to be tossed around and pulled between two jealous toddlers? Heero had ALWAYS made his own decisions when he'd been alive! Yes, he'd taken orders, but it'd been up to HIM whether he'd followed those orders or not. At least then he had the option!
The more he thought about it, dwelled on it, the more it bothered him. What gave Duo the RIGHT to save him from Hell? What if Heero WANTED to go to Hell, huh? Or what if Heero want to go back to Purgatory and try again? He could do that! Or wonder around for the rest of Eternity? What if Heero just didn't want to be one of Duo's mindless followers, bowing and groveling and using honorifics, like Trowa was? It was about time Heero stopped being lost and started finding himself, since no one else would. When he got to Hephess, then he'd start. Yes. Then, he'd tell Duo exactly what he thought: that Duo couldn't control him anymore, just because Duo happened to be Death and a god. All Heero had in this strange world was his soul, and he'd be damned it he was just going to give it up to whoever placed the highest bid!
Yes. It was settled, then. As soon as they reached Hephess, Heero was leaving. He was already lost in every way, why not become lost literally, too? What difference would it make, save that he would have done something voluntarily for once? It was his decision, damn it! And nobody, not Satan, not Duo, not even God would be able to stop him. Yes. Heero was sick of being dragged around from one corner of Limbo to another. He was sick of it! He was sick of being controlled.
Duo glanced over warily then, just quickly, before returning his gaze back to his destination.
Yes. Heero, too glared at the horizon. He had decided. The next chance he got, Heero Yuy was taking his freedom, and his dignity, back for himself.
To Hell with being lost.
***
End of Book One: Death's Promise.
***