Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Death with a Side of Rice ❯ Death with a Side of Rice ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

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I have an obsession with Death.

Well, like you didn't already know that.

I felt it, every moment of my life. I think when I was born, I was quiet, unfearing. I knew my destiny. And it was one I didn't fear.

Not that I haven't ever feared. Oh, no, I've felt fear plenty of times in my life.

I'll run, I'll hide, but I won't tell a lie.

But, death. That has always been something I never feared. Not when I was little, and certainly not now.
Death has always been there. I could always feel it, like a guardian angel, watching over me...
And then there were times when I felt death had forsaken me, forgotten me. Those were the times when I cried out for her, when I wept for the peaceful night to envelope me. For death to take all the pain away.

I have courted Death all my life. I have danced with her, felt her gaze on my neck, the cool hand on my cheek. She has always been there, a constant in my ever-changing life. And I love it, like a son loves his mother.

For my whole life, I have felt-no, basked in-others pain. It was a delicious antidote to the rage I felt. The rage that had been born on the deaths of the only people I had ever known. I used that, I used it everytime I stepped out on the battlefield, to kill them, to glory in death of those who had never deserved to live. I laughed at them, my eyes dark and lifeless, and pulled the trigger every time.

Part of me is scarred for that, I realize. We all are...we just have different ways of showing it.

Trowa, he just doesn't talk.

Quatre, he helps others. He's constantly helping out, caring.

Wufei, sneers at others, calls them weak....when he is the weak one himself.

And then, theres Heero. He's the worst of all of us, he just doesn't feel it. Or doesn't want to.

And me? Well, I like to laugh....

But, I digress.

Bet you never thought that I knew a word like that, did ya? Don't worry, I won't hold it against you.

I like to laugh. And no, its not a stupid psychological tool I use to escape my pain, to hide the dark secrets a boy should never know.

Besides, if you had seen what I've seen, done the things I've done.....

You would like to laugh too.

Maybe I'm so cheerful to make up for it all. To appease whatever twisted deity there is of this universe, if there is one to begin with.

How can you ask me to believe in something thats not there? That I've never seen?

All I've seen in my life is death, with a garnish of death, and oh, a side of warmed death over rice.

Death has been a constant in my ever-changing life. As sure as the sun, the stars, and Shinigami, as I once told Quatre.

He didn't understand. I don't think I really expected him too. Death, for me, is so clear...

It's a lover and tortuter-drawing sweet souls out of that physical plane and ripping my conscience to shreds at the same time. Her salve is like poison, her night the deepest depths of despair. There was never a revulsion-or fear-of death in my body. My mind, as well, welcomes the prospect with open arms.

I have to wonder though, when death finally comes to claim me for her own: will she welcome me with open arms?

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All reviews are appreciated!! Really!!!

Oh, disclaimer...

Don't own 'em, wish I did...especially Wufei! Woowoo! *big smile*

Wu:Onna no baka. You can never own me.

Me: Thats something I think needs to be argued in another time, another place.*nother big smile*

Wu:*nosebleeds*

Me:*bops Wu* Hentai! Well, thats it, for now...see you in the funnies!

~TK