Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Denial ❯ Shattered Dreams ( Chapter 5 )

AN And this is Relena's POV of the events that Zech's chapter just covered so it's in the hospital, just after the birth, they think she's asleep and they're sitting with the baby.

Denial Part 5

Shattered Dreams

Relena's POV

Despite my determination to not let them know that I was listening and watching I am unable to prevent the lone tear that falls down my cheek. Heero is staring in awe at the baby nestled in my brother's arms but hidden behind his expression of wonder on his features is another, darker, more hidden emotion. Desperation, he loves his daughter, of that I have no doubt but he wants things to be as simple as they were before, before she was born, before he had to take into account the potential consequences on the tiny being that he helped create. When they could be together with no other obstacle than an unknowing wife and sister.

My husband and my brother, almost nine months after I started to suspect and I still can't really believe it. That's why I stayed, that's why I put up with nine months of wishing and hoping that one day he would turn and look at me with the same emotions evident on his face as he does with Milliardo. I can see now though it was a hopeless dream, you don't find something like that every day.

In truth I'm still not certain how I missed it for so long, I spent so much time with the two of them, I was living with Heero by the time Milliardo returned and since then my brother has become a more than regular feature at out home. Our large home with many rooms, one perfect for unscheduled liaisons, you could look for someone for an hour in that house and never find them, I know, I've tried.

I realised for certain a month ago, exactly one month ago today I realised that I would have to let him go, to let them both go, I've put it off for a month, using my pregnancy as an excuse, I can't delay it anymore. Heero was injured on a mission last month and when I arrived at the hospital the first thing I saw was Milliardo, sitting in my place, head resting on the bed while the heart monitor sent a steady reassuring beat around the room, their hands were lightly clasped even in sleep and for the first time I realised that love didn't need heavy words to be real, didn't need any of the labels I had placed on it in order for it to exist, love just… was.

I exited the room silently and walked down the corridor again before coming back again, making quite a bit more noise this time, by the time I entered the room they had separated, Milliardo sitting far back in the chair and Heero still presumably asleep, I smiled sadly at him, at both of them, knowing that I truly had lost this time. Milliardo jumped to his feet and hastily guided me to the chair, scolding me for being on my feet while eight months pregnant.

He fussed and reassured while I fought tears. He assumed I was worried about Heero and I let him, in truth I knew Heero would be fine; he had someone to come back for. How could I have been so blind? How could I have ever imagined that Heero would look at me with the same look of veneration that he always reserved for Milliardo? How could I have been naïve enough to imagine that they would have curbed their meetings when I was pregnant, they needed each other, like two sides of a coin, one's not whole or real without the other.

The first word from my husband's lips when he awoke was his name, not mine or even `mission' but a soft, hoarsely whispered `Mill…?'

I knew then, my brother had replaced the mission in my husband's eyes, that's something that even I could never compete with.

Dragged back to the present I see the brushed kiss that Milliardo places on Heero's soft lips, it's so slight I'm not entirely sure that he did kiss him but even if I could mistake that there's no mistaking the expression on Heero's face as he looks up, love… Love so intense that I finally understand what it means to see something so pure it's painful.

In the mirror by my bed I see Heero cast a wary glance in my direction before mouthing, `ai shiteru,' silently. They look like a family and the emotions and connections between them are nearly tangible. They both cast a wary glance at me and then at the door, both watching and listening for intruders that only they would notice and then they kiss.

Kiss… such an inconsequential word for what it is that I'm witnessing. For what they're doing goes far beyond that and the very last hope that I didn't even realise that I'd been hanging on to goes out of the window. There is no way that this could ever be classified as lust, caring or even a practiced fondness, this shows the kind of devotion and need for someone that I would never have imagined Heero as capable of, certainly he never demonstrated something like this with me but then he wouldn't, would he? He's never really trusted me enough. He never would have allowed himself to become that vulnerable with me, he couldn't, I just wouldn't understand.

I stare again at them as they break apart, I don't concentrate on their, slightly laboured, breathing or the gentle flush on their cheeks, I watch the adoring smiles that break across both of their faces and I finally realise that its not that I've lost, it's that they've won.

Feeling the weight I didn't know I was carrying lift off my shoulders I turn around slowly to face them.

Owari

AN Well, who's POV for the next chapter