Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Denial ❯ never ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimers: (wallows in disbelief) I have no right over or have ever (stays away from never) owned GundamWing nor do I profit from this fic-let, but the story is mine.

Warnings: Varying view points (sorry it just happens) mostly shifts from Duo to the invisible Narrator (Yo!), Alternate Universe (colonies, MS .. but deviations from the timeline? You’ll see what I mean), Dark, some OOCness (I don’t know all the boys as well as most), disturbing content (backup and read that one mo’gain, just to be sure that’s clear), graphic descriptions of attempted non-consensual sex (the implied, not as descriptive, will be dominant after this chapter), incest, implied drug use, Duo/Solo torture (you have been warned) and uh.. I dunno if I got everything....

Pairings: none yet

*hugs betas*
---xXxXxXx--- means transition or scene change, heck if I know!

Denial
by priscel

one - never

The door creaks open, and there’s a soft whisper of ‘shit’ followed by silence except for the soft thrum of music through the walls and floor that sent a restless, covered form back into their dreams. Some time later, one of the blanketed forms in the room shifted at the sudden movement of the coverlet and moved closer to the smaller curled form in front of him. The small form started, not completely awake, at being lifted then carried from the room. The small boy’s protests about being removed from the warm cocoon of blankets and the loss of warmth from the other small body were soothed by a gentle rocking motion. The little boy snuggled closer to the body belonging to the arms that held him. He inhaled to have a familiar sweat tinged, musky smell filling his nose as he nuzzled the hard chest before him. ‘Big Brother,’ his mind identified and the feeling of security enveloped him, lulling him back to sleep.

The small boy became aware again of his surroundings when downward motion laid him on a soft, flat surface, ‘... bed?’, came the sleep heavy thought. The tall brown haired teen stilled in his movements and then quickly closed the door, the click of the lock latching muffled by the music playing in the room. The teen peered over his shoulder at the small figure on his bed. The little boy shivered, “... cold,” his sleepy mumble fell on deaf ears as he sucked the thumb on his left hand while the other hand snaked out in search of the covers. Unsuccessful, the little hand was slowly pulled back to clamp on to the end of his braid, laying across his hip and brought it to his face as he tried to curl in on himself.

The little boy jumped at the shift of the bed and batted away the persistent hand working at unraveling his messy braid. He lay still, unaware of the other hand moving down his side to the end of his alphabet decorated shirt. He sleepily stretched and blinked a few times in the bright light of the room. Recognition of the room caused his eyes to open fully. He was in his brother’s room. He thought about how his big brother would fuss at him and his little brother, Solo, about playing in his room and warned them about coming in there at night. His little face scrunched up in confusion as he looked up into two glossy hazel eyes hovering above him. He saw nothing there, it scared him, and he tried to turn away but instead he found himself pinned down by the teen’s weight. His eyes widened to size of saucers as the older boy forced his hand down into his pants and cut off his shout with the crush of his lips cruelly to his. The little boy squirmed, his face contorted with effort to keep his mouth shut as the boy’s lips and hand continued their assault. His young mind wandered back to the time he had saw his brother kiss his girlfriend. He jerked back to reality at the feel of a warm wet thing running over his lips. He struggled, trying to turn his head away.

“Damn it Duo.” The voice sounded distant. Duo head butted him, one .. two... three times before his brother yanked him back by grabbing hold of the hair near the base of his head. Duo choked on the rising bile in his throat and unconsciously swallowed it back down.

“Quin?” Duo squeaked out, his voice quivering with the unmistakable fear mirrored in his pleading, confused gaze as he looked up at his brother. Duo swallowed hard, doing his best not to let the tears welling in his eyes spill. Quin looked at him and for a few hot seconds nothing happened, everything was so still that Duo began to hope that this was just some nightmare that he was beginning to wake up from. He whimpered, his chest tightening at Quin’s smile as he began to rock against him and grope him again.

Duo squeezed his eyes shut, sending liquid streams of heat down the sides of his temples, stinging his ears. His mind wandered away again. He thought of all the times they’d shared the same room with him and how he never did anything except be their brother then. His young mind not understanding what had changed. Quin gave him conifedence when bullies called him a girl after they viciously yanked on braid and made him cry. He taught him how to defend himself and the bullying soon stopped. Quin never questioned their Mother why they didn’t cut it off and Duo knew it was because it was the color of their father’s hair. He looked up to him, he was nine years older and of course those years imparted to him some secret knowledge that made him wiser about cool stuff that neither Hilde nor any other kids Duo's age knew about. And at seven, Duo was boisterous, inquisitive and claimed his best friend Hilde as his ‘play’ girlfriend when their Mother told him he couldn’t have one like his brother until he was as old as he. So, Quin often found himself the victim of Duo’s endless questions. He was always there for Duo and Duo thought he’d do the same with Solo.

Suddenly, the world shifted and the dazed boy found his face pressed to the pillow. Duo bucked at the feel of something cold running down his backside and closed his legs instinctively to stay warm. ‘When... why do I feel that?’ He shivered, turning his head trying to ask, to see what Quin was doing but Quin pressed his elbow into his back forcing him back down. Duo tried to use his arms to push himself up but soon realized that his arms were crossed in front of his chest. He bucked again in frustration and fear, trying to slip from under the arm pressing heavily against back. He gasped at the sweaty palm stroking down his back to pinch his butt. ‘My jammies, where are they?!’ He thought in distress and wiggled wildly, panicking.

Quin cursed, putting more of his weight on Duo as he tried to take off his t-shirt. With all his movement, Duo was able to get one hand free enough to move downward, but before he could pull it from underneath his body, Quin squished him with his full weight. He shifted to breathe and his breath hitching at the smell of baby oil. His face was wet. He hadn’t known he was crying. His trapped arm tingled beneath him, going numb from bearing their combined weight. ‘My hand’s wet,’ he thought absently, extending his fingers then fisting them trying to keep the feeling in them. His breath caught at the feeling of something hot and blunt pressing against him. He tried to figure out where it was pressing, when Quin pushed forward.

Duo screamed as searing pain coursed through his small body but it eventually stopped and he panted out sobs as he shook uncontrollably. Quin rose up on his elbows and stared at the quaking form beneath him. Duo tensed at the feel of Quin’s mouth on his neck; just when he had thought it was over the hot thing was back, pushing against him. He twitched and screamed out with each jab Quin made, the short spurts of pain made things start to grey in his vision and he could barely feel his trembling body. Suddenly, Quin pushed hard against him, unaware that he had missed his target. He slid forcefully past Duo’s entrance to sigh in pleasure at being in between Duo’s clenching thighs and in his spasming hand with a pool of oil beneath it. He moved faster. Duo’s cries were nonexistent to him, with his mind’s sole focus being pleasure; he didn’t notice the body beneath him going limp.

Duo opened his eyes again, to find himself still in the now dimly lit room. He covered his eyes, his head still spinning as he sat up and almost did a head dive into the floor at the pain that cut through his body. He lurched forward onto his feet, his loose hair blanketing his small, shivering frame. He didn’t notice its current state as he leaned down to pick up his shorts; they were covering these little bags on the floor. 'They are so small and colorful... how would Mama put food in them?' He dazedly thought as he limped over to the door.

He made his way to the bathroom and closed the door, shaking as he held onto the sink. He blinked several times after turning on the light. He looked around in confusion. ‘Bathroom?’, he frowned. He moved toward the door to leave when he saw a thin pink tinted line running down his leg. He frowned again when he realized he felt wet and slippery. Duo grabbed a lot of tissue and wiped. Looking down at the tissue, his facial expression became slack. He blanked, his hand dropped to his side, letting the tissue fall to the floor. Half aware of everything around him, he realized he felt hot, sick and to heavy for his own legs to hold. Swaying, he grabbed onto the doorknob just above his head. Not really knowing what he was doing, he found himself looking through their little bathroom closet and pulled out a water bottle thing that his Mother used during that time, and thought that he should use it too. His face was itching, he rubbed at his cheeks after he was done, not understanding why he was crying. He tossed his shorts in the hamper and limped into their room.

Their Mother was still asleep, not stirring when he closed door for the second time that night. He pulled on some briefs with wadded up tissue in them and then another pair of pajama bottoms. He stumbled-crawled back to the couch pillows on the floor, that served as Solo and his bed. Solo hadn’t moved but Duo found himself turning away from him not wanting to smell that baby smell for some reason and felt sick at the same time. Soon, he was in a fitful sleep, twitching to half-alert wakefulness at the slightest sound and sniffling quietly in the darkness with the covers pulled tight around him.

- - - xXxXXxXx- - -

Duo gasped. Blinking furiously, with unseeing eyes as the bus hit another bump in the road. L2 was not as well kept as the other colonies but at least things were not as bad as they could be. Today, in History class Mr. Kelly told them how in 175, the disquiet between the earth and the colonies was slowly being resolved and MS (mobile suit) development assisted in the further development of the colonies. He drilled it into their heads that war would have been a definite possibility if the assassination attempted on Heero Yuy wasn’t botched.

Today's class had Duo wondering what kind of soldier he would have been if there had been a war. ‘Would I still have my braid? Would Mama have things much better since we could all just join the army and everything would have been paid for?’ His thoughts of what if with his imagination's assistance had him facing the window and not the teacher, so Mr. Kelly moved his seat to the front and sat staring directly at him from time to time as he told them that there was an investigation and with the help of King Peacecraft, they discovered that Alliance forces and a member from Romafellar were involved. They were imprisoned and the Alliance was disbanded. This resulted in not only a council of representatives from all of the colonies, but a collaboration between Councilman Heero Yuy and King Peacecraft working toward settling unrest or any dispute between earth and the colonies, while still helping the impoverished colonies, like those of L2.

The class had been a little doubtful of what Mr. Kelly had told them, but Duo didn’t doubt him. His Mother said things like that all the time, he thought to make sure that they understood what others had sacrificed for them to be able to go to school, to appreciate them. He remembered how Quin would often grumble his agreement, his older half brother -even though he never saw him as such- would get their Mother out of her ‘appreciate this’ rants.

Duo did appreciate it, but he was a kid and he couldn’t be expected to be all serious all the time. One of the main people he appreciated the most was his Father. Solo and Duo’s father died when he was two. He had spent part of his father’s birthdays staring at the few pictures they had of him and the majority of them had a wide, violet eyed pony-tailed baby grinning one of those toothless smiles with drool and all in his arms. His mother had caught him one time with that picture and commented on how it was all that hair he had, still had, that was the cause of her heartburn.

He shivered suddenly, turning his head to stare out the window at the blurred colony-scape as bits and pieces of the dream nagged at him. He felt like he was seven and scared as shit of something or someone. The dream was already fading as he shook his head and ran his hand through his long fringe, ‘I’m ten.’ He voiced mentally but it quivered into a half sniffle, ‘... a memory... th-that never happened. I need to get home....’ He rested his head on his folded arms against the seat and let his eyes slide shut.

“Duo! Come on, wake up!” The deep purple haired tomboy shouted in his ear as she shook his shoulder, “ You’re going to miss your stop!?”

Duo jumped, “I fell asleep again...” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand “Thanks Hil! I did promise Solo I would take him to the park today.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Hilde half grinned as she looked at her friend. “Papa said that he was gonna drive us all there, so you could just come over-”

“Nah, Hil I gotta get home.” Duo interrupted. He turned to look out the window missing her faltering grin.

“What’s the matter?” Hilde’s voice was laced with concern; she’d noticed how Duo had been a little out of it most of the day. She worried her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving her friend.

“I dunno.” The bus stopped and Duo leapt from his seat, fixed his book bag and pulled his braid over his shoulder. “I just need...,” he shrugged, “need to get home. I’ll see ya in a few hours, we have to wait for Mama to get home before me and Solo can go.”

“Ok Duo. See ya.” She shrugged off the uneasy feeling she’d gotten, trusting that what her friend said was true and if there was a problem she knew she’d be the first one he’d tell. Hilde waved goodbye through the window as Duo increased his pace to get home.

Next year, Solo would be going to his school and he was only eight. The school board, after tracking his progress, had decided to skip him ahead because he aced everything they gave him at a third grade level. Duo grinned to himself, he was proud of Solo. He was glad he decided to show Solo his books and went over lessons he learned in school. It not only helped him study but it helped his little brother too. Besides, he didn’t like the fact that they had to be separated like that.

He came to the door of their apartment and had a sense of foreboding as he opened the unlocked door. Solo was supposed to be there already because school got out earlier for him, and usually Quin picked him up after he left his job over at the Schbeiker’s scrap yard. But every thing was too quiet. As he went through the house, it had a funny smell that caused him to crinkle his noise as he left his stuff on the couch. The smell was strongest in his brother’s room and there were windows open and a few fans on. “It’s not hot today?” He commented silently and went into the kitchen where the TV was still on and two cups as well as a bowl of half eaten cereal still sat at the table. The door to the side stairs that went down to the laundry room for the apartment building was open. Duo could hear music and feel the thrum of the bass through the floor. He swallowed, feeling ill and lightheaded. He touched the door knob to go out and look but was stopped and nearly knocked over by blur of strawberry blond hair and wide green puffy eyes.

Door forgotten, Duo found it hard to breathe as he slowly realized that his little brother was breathing hard and squeezing him so tight that he started to see spots. He noticed, Solo’s clothes were not on him right and he smelled of sweat and something else. Something that was coppery on his tongue, tinged his senses. He staggered a few steps back with Solo in his arms.

“So-” His question died on his lips as his brother whimpered and buried his head under his neck as they both heard steps coming closer through the door. Duo didn’t think, he just grabbed his brother and tugged him, barefoot - he noticed, into the room they still shared with their mother. He went to the closet that they stored things in and never opened without their Mom or Quin there. He moved a bag that sat in front of it, opened it slightly and shoved his brother in. Solo grabbed on to his shirt and whimpered in protest.

Duo was going to stay outside and Solo knew it. He wouldn’t have it. He tugged again on Duo’s shirt and Duo went inside the closet too.

Pulling the bag so that it fell against the door, the way it had been before. Both of them were breathing hard, in the stale smelling and crowded closet. Solo clung to Duo crying and trying not to make a sound. He couldn’t hear his loud sniffles as he pressed his ear to his brother’s chest finding comfort in his heart beat.

“Shh! Solo, calm down or he’ll hear us! Next time you come home no no... just ask Mista Strand, yanno our bus driver who wears the funny beanie hat.” Duo forced a chuckle, trying to calm himself as well as Solo. He knew who was out there. He knew who it was and he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t think it. He began to rock to vent some of his nervousness, fear he’d been holding in, twisting in his stomach making him feel sick. He swallowed before continuing, “Ask him to drop you off at my school or let you stay on the bus since he comes to my school to take me home too?” Duo said in a hurried whisper getting his breathing under control as Solo nodded his answer and buried his face in Duo’s neck, silencing his sniffling.

Tbc...

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The beginning of my first fic, *huffs* and it was hard to write. So let me have it! (^_^) Comments, Criticisms, Reviews are appreciated, craved and sought after.