Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Denial ❯ who is he to you 1 ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimers: (wallows in disbelief) I have no right over or have ever (stays away from never) owned GundamWing nor do I profit from this fic-let, but the story is mine and unfortunately so is Quin.

Warnings: Ok, lots of flashbacking here, but it’s marked so hopeful I don’t throw you for a loop. Angst, a bit gory, somewhat descriptive and all that other junk I said before soooo see the first chap for full spiel.

Pairings: I’m not tellin’

- - -xXxXxXx- - - means transition or scene change, heck if I know!

Denial
by priscel

three.1 - who is he to you

In the calm and simulated quiet of dusk, the park was the thing to do for many of this L2 cluster’s residents who were not upper class. There were no restrictions or dirty looks given by people in the Park, no one forcing the homeless to leave or eyeing them in distaste. Kedren Park was neutral territory, a memorial to all the people who died there. Ms. Maxwell slowed her walk through the Park to kneel at a simple plaque of metal nearly covered by overgrown grass. In one section of the plague, was the embossed name of their old apartment.

“Our first home.” She whispered, her eyes closing and a pinched expression taking over her face, as memories cam unbidden back to her. A hull breech in the basement of the complex had instantly ended it all, taking away her love . . . “Aiden,” she whispered remembering how she rushed home to find that nearly the entire building had been sucked through a breech the size of one those earthen, street side blue mail bins. The alarms had went off too late and the landlord’s neglect to inform his residents of the hull damage beneath the complex meant nothing more to him then a citation and a tax writeoff, at first.

Luckily for her, Quin was away at school and Solo was in daycare a few blocks away, but little Duo was spending the day with his Pop. She smiled sadly, Pop had been Duo’s first word after his brother had given some of that sugar rich, carbonated drink. And much to everyone’s surprise, that’s what Duo began calling his father.

She blamed herself for them being at the apartment. She had told her husband that she’d be by there to pick up her forgotten lunch, when he had suggested that they just have lunch together before she went back to work. Her fingers traced over fifty names before they stilled over one she traced countless times during her visits. She half imagined that none of it was true and that on that day he met her at the door around noon, kissing her before the demon toddler Duo and his sloppy kiss of doom latched on to her and interrupted theirs. She shook her head; her sigh became a deprecating chuckle. She remembered well what really happened. She was just coming home to have a quick lunch with them, when she noticed the flashes of light and streams of greyish smoke that went upward but curved back down in the empty sky of where their three story apartment building had been.

She slammed her company car to a halt at the corner of McCribble and Lanely. Stepping out of the car and onto shaking legs, she stared in disbelief at the empty space before her. It was nearly half a football field of damage and all along the way her eyes traced bloody smears. Her eyes lingered on the dark red pieces of skinless flesh or charred lumps of something unidentifiable that was scattered on the now bare and twisted metal of what used to be concrete and paved streets. As if drawn in by the unnatural silence, her eyes settled on a slab of brick and glass windowpane. It was lying there, flat, straighter than everything else around it. “The epicentre of the breach,” she surmised. This was had once been her home, her family’s home. All that remained of the building and those surrounding it were the strewn wires sparking dangerously, the contorted sharp edges of walls pointing inward as if trying to go toward the brick slab. Jadea began to lose herself, her eyes fixed on the flickering sky. Her mind noting the smoke she had seen earlier was now thinner, but the air was still thick with the heavy scent of blood and electricity leaving a charged, coppery tang on her tongue as the smell of burnt flesh began to soak into her clothes. Coming back to herself, she could feel a faint tug, she was moving slowly closer to the five-foot slab of brick and glass, “ . . . it’s not completely sealed . . ., ” she said in a whisper.She walked slowly, straining her ears and scared to utter a word in silence death had left. Her deep blue eyes scanned frantically for some sign of survivors, even though a part of her became heavy with remorse, giving up any hope of that being true. A nun from the local church run by Aiden’s only remaining family, his uncle, Father Maxwell came running over. The young nun, Mrs. Maxwell recognized as Helen, clutched her rosary beads in her hand. “J-Jadea!” Helen called in concern after seeing Jadea nearly run into the pole on the corner of the street and running unsteadily toward her home. Sister Helen stumbled, ‘her home’ she thought, and something eery settled over her heart that she couldn’t understand at first. Then it registered in her mind that there was an emptiness that shouldn’t be in front of her as her eyes trailed along Jadea’s slack shoulders to the vacant and flickering simulated sky then to the remnants of what used to be in that area.

“Merciful Heavens.” Helen uttered behind the hand that involuntarily came up to her trembling lips at her gasp of shock.

Jadea blinked at her name being called, wondering to herself ‘what god would allow something like this to happen.’ She began to search, moving rubble for some sign of her husband and child. The air got thinner the closer she got to the breech and Helen was calling her back when she saw movement. Sitting on the glass pane over the breech, pushing himself up to sit and then trying to stand but failing, was the nearly three-year-old Duo. He plopped back down. He stared, down the tunnel of glinting metal and wires, at all the bodies that drifted behind the glass. Silent and covered in blood, Duo sat running a red smear across the glass and his deep violet eyes were a striking contrast to the crimson that coated him.

Jadea was close enough to notice that Duo’s inability to move was not due to any injury that she could see, but because he was being held against the slab by something. She was seven feet away when she gasped and was able to make out what that something was; it was a disembodied arm with a wedding band identical to her own. Tears welded up in her eyes and her breathing increased in the thin air making her feel light headed, as she stumbled, then stilled when the sound of cracking resounded in the stagnant air.

Her eyes found it, a line slowly spreading from where the arm began and widening, almost as if it were searching . . . reaching for Duo. Sister Helen had also seen the movement of the small figure on the glass that showed inky blackness and moved forward at nearly the same time that Jadea had. They both slid to a stop, side by side a few feet away from the blocked breech to hear the metal creaking beneath their feet. They said nothing as Jadea held up her hand in a halting motion when the protesting metal groaned again as Helen took another step. Jadea could feel her heart pounding and her mind screaming at her to move as she took cautious steps toward the windowpane. Sweat dripped down the sides of her face as the metal’s cry, although faint, could became louder than the emergency alarms that flashed and sounded, echoing in the emptiness that had housed over two hundred people. She shook her head at the impossibility that so many lives could be snuffed out and buildings ripped from their very foundation by a hole . . . but she knew better, the housing in that block was not up to standards, but it was shelter. Jadea spared the briefest of moments to touch the cooling limb of her husband as she began to pry the mangled blue fingers away from her baby. The whines of the metal grew louder with each passing minute. She cursed mentally as she continued to pull and pinch unintentionally at the locked limb, until the pressure of their time running out had her acting in desperation, Jadea yanked on the trapped limb. The possible consequences flitting through her head about what the amount of force she was using would mean, but ignoring that voice and focused on one thing. Saving. Her. Child. Finally it worked, Duo was free. Not wanting to tempt fate anymore, she snatched up her unresponsive toddler who only blinked at her and ran.

She ran, deaf to the whines of the metal underfoot, as her feet pounded on it. Once she reached Helen, she joined her running as fast as they could. They could hear the sectioning clamps release with a great hiss of air, lowering huge reinforced metal barriers to seal off this section from the rest of the colony. With a loud whirl of the clamps locking, Sister Helen and Jadea walked toward the church, breathing heavily and distantly noting the emergency crews that zipped by to check the barrier. They could see a few suited up to check for survivors. ‘Survivors,’ Jadea thought darkly to herself, ‘ . . . it’s too late to rescue anyone with those doors in place. They’re just wasting time . . . no one can bring them back. It did help with the population problems,’ her thoughts becoming more morose as she smiled, ‘ the newscasters were always complaining about on TV.’ Her thoughts ended abruptly as little Duo gripped her white blouse and half hid his face behind her left breast. Sister Helen, pale and speechless hadn’t stopped watching little Duo from Jadea’s right. Her baby murmured something; she couldn’t make it out so she drew him up in her arms and closer to her ear... “ ... theres only shini....” His wide, glassy violets focused on the flashing lights behind them.

Jadea stopped in her tracks and shivered, her son knew death and she looked to Sister Helen for some response. The Sister only stared numbly back, telling her she was just as shocked by what Duo said. Jadea knew it was no coincidence because Aiden would read to Duo about myths before bed and Duo was doing well at saying the words his father had taught him. No there was no mistaking that her son had said Shinigami.

“Hoohoo.” Startled out of her recollection by two bright glowing eyes in the tree above her. The huge eyes surrounded by shadow blinked twice more before turning away. “HooHoo.” She chuckled, “Well hello to you too mister Owl.” She laughed at herself for talking to the animal that was probably only concerned about food.

She exhaled heavily. Out of such tragedy came this: a piece of earth under artificial sky. Many of the residents had never seen living trees and animals, yes there were animals here and even though the homeless were always hungry and looking for food they didn’t harm the animals here. It was neutral territory, living with its own ghosts and stories. The sounds that came from the park and the area were the main reasons for moving her family to Maple Ridge apartments. She was glad that the Colonial representative and the people in the upper echelons didn’t try to raise rent and throw out the poor families in the area because of the Park. She believed the structural integrity was still an issue but a claim she couldn’t prove without evidence.

Entering her home, she could hear the nightlife through her walls. A nightingale, this had, at first, surprised a few years back because there weren’t many birds, especially none like the nightingale, on the colony. Its song always lulled her into dreams and memories from her childhood, it pained her a little to think about her past. She shook her head, “I do not regret my decision,” she whispered to her self, exhaling a breath she hadn’t known she was holding and caused her brownish blonde bangs to flutter and tickle her nose. She smiled, idyly wondering as she put down her tote bag, how Duo could stand having his bangs in his face, constantly messing with his nose. It was incredibly annoying not to mention it itched. Propping her bag against the armrest of their black and grey speckled couch, she pulled out the apron and the blue stripped sleeve of her waitress uniform, checking it over to reassure herself that the mayo incident at work, that gave a male customer a milky white facial, didn’t require her to do any late night washing.

Relieved, she headed for their bedroom hearing the owl hooting again. A small smile graced her features as she approached her sleeping boys on cat’s feet and glared at the cat that had been watching her the whole time, thwacking his tail a few times before standing, stretching and bumping against her clothed legs. The cat was protective, she tilted her head to the side slightly wondering but before the thought was formed one of her boys moved and the other sniffled moving closer to the other. She smiled down at her two boys huddled together like always when they slept.

“I don’t regret any of it.” She whispered once more, bending to brush Duo’s bangs from his eyes and running her finger tips lightly down Solo’s chubby cheeks. A puzzled expression crossed her face making her look much younger than her forty years. She rubbed her fingers together absently, unconsciously mouthing the word 'tears.' She felt disappointed. She was missing all the little things that involved her babies and she admonished herself for not being there when he cried and not being there to comfort him. She brought herself out of her self-reproach, glad that her sons’ were close and knew Duo would do anything for his little brother. She often wondered if she was a good enough mother to them, with her always working, she hardly saw them. She was thankful that she had more time than she had a few years back since Quin offered to help with the responsibility. Still, as she sat on her bed preparing to go to sleep, she wished that Quin wouldn’t work so much. She didn’t want him to waste away his youth like that.

Three years ago, Jadea worked as a Legal Secretary for a law firm uptown as well as held down a second job as a waitress. She barely had time to spend with her boys; she saw them off to school and made sure she made it in time to tuck them at night. However most days she did get home early the moment she sat down on the couch or any soft surface she was dead to the world. One particular day everything changed, she had returned home from dropping Duo and Solo off at the bus stop and watching them head to school. She wondered, placing her keys on the end table by the door, why Duo was so quiet- almost trance like, that morning and he still didn’t act like his usually animated and vibrant self as he trudged his way up the steps.

She had stopped him and checked his head with the back of her hand, he had been warm but not sick enough for him to miss school so she had told him to go to the nurses’ office if he didn’t feel well and have her call her and she’d pick him up. It was a half day for her because she only had to work at the diner. She sighed over her cup of coffee; she needed to spend more time with her boys, the guilt of not being there to care for them as she thought she should was weighing her down. The way she wanted to, the way she had when Aiden was still with them. But it was pointless to dwell on such things, it didn’t change anything to make oneself depressed with grief and self-doubt, she had a family to support and raise as best she could.

Not working didn’t compute either. It wasn’t an option for her and it was rare that she considered it as a possible solution. She came to a stop in the middle of their small living room and saw Quin sitting on the edge of the couch, looking pale and holding something of Duo’s, she was sure, in his hands while he seemed to be staring off at nothing.

It was almost time for Mr. Strand to come by to pick the kids up from the bus stop, but Quin was still there. Eyeing her son in his grey tank top and blue sweat pants, she realized that his eyes were red and his face was flushed. Immediately she thought that perhaps Duo had caught something from Quin and that was why he was so quiet. She pretty much knew that if one of them got sick, they all eventually did. She looked at her son again, he hadn’t moved or even acknowledged her presence. She glanced down his arms, finding some red marks there coloring into to light bruises. Her eyes continued their downward descent to his white knuckled grip on Duo’s pajama bottoms. Even though, Quin holding Duo’s pants like that was strange, she considered that maybe her boys had got into a fight or one with each other, but usually they didn’t fight so hard that the other was bleeding or bruised in any way.

‘I... I... my little brother...Duo... but he felt so... Fuck! I can’t want him like that.... fuckfuckfuckwhatdidifuckingdotohim?!whyhim?!buthislips... I want...smell his hair... thatdamstuffGengaveme!!Damnit,fuckingChrist it’s its fault but ittastedsogood... Duo...’ll nevaforgiveme.I’lllosethemall.I’dloseMamaIcan’t... Ican’tloseher, she’stheonlyreason i’mhereLovedmeenoughto...ihavenothingleft... ineedthem. I need... fi..fuck sorrysorrysorrysorry...Mama?needtomakesurehedoesn’ttell. Yes. Hewon’ttell then I... I... I... my little brother... Duo... but he felt -’ was the litany of words that ran through Quin’s head. He didn’t notice his Mother’s light touch to his shoulder.

Jadea touched him again and still got no reaction, quirking her fine brows in question she moved closer. She tilted her head to the side and her expression became more puzzled as she took in the moisture on his upper lip. Her eyebrow twitched when his lips began to move. She was not a good lip reader, whatever Quin was saying he had lipped Duo’s name more than once. She increased the pressure of her touch to his shoulder and Quin jerked back slightly in response. He turned his head and blinked at her myopically his lips stopping their recitation.

Jadea began to question Quin when suddenly he wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her as if she was only thing that grounded him, that kept him whole. He buried his face in her stomach and mumbled something she couldn’t make out, “Quin?”

“It’s no- nothin’...” He remembered what he had in his hands and knew Jadea had seen it, ‘think damnit ..think’ “I... I was wo-working on a demo for a gig a-at the Rox-”

“Quin! You shouldn’t be going to the Rox of all places!! You’re only sixteen for heaven sakes! That place is no good. There are older people who take advantage of-”

“Mama, I don’t go there often. They pay really well for my mixes and offered to buy part of a demo I played for them since I can’t be there every night. It ...” his voice soften and becoming thick with emotion, “it would’ve helped us with the bills and then you wouldn’t have to work as much as you do!” He let the last bit trail off and emphasized her importance by squeezing her tighter in his arms. His shoulders heaved as he cried against her stomach.

Laying a placating hand on his shoulders, she spoke unsure of what was best for Quin. Money was what they needed but not at the cost of her son. “Still I don’t want you exposing yourself to that. The people that go there do all kinds of drugs.. Like Streamers.”

Quin stiffen and loosen his hold on Jadea. “I’ve heard of it...”

“Stay away from it honey, a coworker of mine is on the stuff and she’s not who she used to be... I mean it’s hard to explain the stuff eats away at you until there’s nothing left. It’s a hallucinogen... made up of old earth drugs like Meta- Crystal, like Crystal (1)... God, saying it’s addictive doesn’t say enough.” She forced herself to stop. She was running off at the mouth in fear that she had failed in saving him from it. In fear that through her neglect, she had inadvertently proved the things that her parents had said Quin would be. ‘He doesn’t need to know. He mustn’t know.’ She berated herself mentally, before continuing. “My f... my co-worker was the Diner owner’s daughter and he’s been doing everything he can to get her off the stuff but she just disappeared after awhile.” She squeezed her son and twining her fingers together at the back of his neck before moving them up into his hair.

Quin tilted his head at hearing the catch in his mother’s voice. Just experiencing this from seeing a co-worker go through it couldn’t have had that much of an effect on his mother. He let his faint interest in what she wasn’t telling him die away to be replaced with the satisfaction that he had pulled her attention away from what he had in his hands.

After awhile, Jadea was kneeling on the couch, nuzzling her son’s head noticing he wore cologne now but she could still smell him beneath it, ‘my baby’ her mind whispered, holding him a little tighter trying to dispel her fears that haggled her since Quin had mentioned the Rox.

“I won’t disappear Mama... I hadn’t planned on going back to stay, just to drop off the demo and get the money.. b-but that’s all ruined now since Duo and Solo messed it up.” He lips curved in a grin that belied the sorry in his voice.

“Can’t you save-”

“no.... I worked so hard on it... I...” At the tighten of her hold around his back from the sniffles he let be heard, he knew that his mother’s heart had melted the way he hoped it would, because no one ever had seen him this way, no one except their mother.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. Thank you for being thoughtful but we’ll be fine you’ll see. We can have a talk with the boys when they get home, ok?” All the hesitance that put a slight edge in her voice was gone along with the questions about Duo’s pyjama bottoms.

He nodded, still pressing against her as she ran her fingers through his ear cropped shaggy brown locks and he smirked against her chest. His improvised plan was in effect; he’d find away to make sure Duo didn’t tell.

Tbc...

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(1 ) A link for more information about the Drugs that will be referenced in this story: http://www.kids4drugfree.com/drugs_of_abuse/clubdrugs.htm

Comments , Criticisms, Reviews are appreciated, craved and sought after.