Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Doing Without ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Doing Without
For Kat, my beloved Mistress



It wasn't my fault. I know a lot of things are, but this wasn't. I . . . we needed each other. It wasn't something we consciously chose. Our paths crossed at the right moments in our lives when we needed someone to love, to hold. So we did; we loved and we held on for dear life, in the midst of a war. And in the midst of a war, we found a moment of peace, safe in each other's arms. When things got tough, when all hope seemed lost, I simply remembered his soft smile as he lay beside me, or above me. I remembered everything we shared, and it helped me.
Then the Eve Wars broke out, and it seemed that my once-lover had turned to evil to get rid of his sense of loss. After all, he was a warrior, and the world no longer needed warriors, right? That's what he claimed. But what he claimed wasn't the truth. He was a scholar playing at a warrior to avenge a dead girl's memory, and he got caught up in the act. So I joined him, to rid us of the Barton's threat and to be near him again, because I knew what he needed. He needed to be held, and loved, again. So my former lover became my lover once more, and as he made love to me, he was able to forget again, forget what the war was doing to him. To us.
Us. When did what he and I did at night become 'us,' I wonder? He, a confused, lonely scholar-warrior. Me, a nameless soldier without a past or future. What could we do together? We could hold, and love. That's what we could do together. We could teach each other that there were times when all one needed was to hold and be held, and that sometimes strength came, not in how good a fighter you were, but in how readily you submitted.
And now, we must submit once again. We must let our hearts and bodies rule our minds, and become a team once more. It takes a team to love. I've learned that, slowly. And so has he. And as the satin sheets slide along my bare skin, as he gently touches me with reverence, I know that we've been without each other for too long. We're forgetting the lessons we taught and learned during the wars. But I suppose that's how love is, as well. It takes a team, and that team can't forget how to work together, how to communicate. Though communication has never been either of our strong suits.
"You're thinking too much," he growls lowly in my ear, voice hushed with passion.
I tilt my head at him and nod my agreement, then arch my neck so he can nip along it. "I was hoping you'd stop that," I murmur back, then let out a long breath when he rolls us, pinning me beneath him, and wrap my arms around him.
"Just don't let me go," he whispers, long lashes brushing his cheek as he closes his eyes.
"As long as you look at me tonight," I whisper in return. He opens his eyes and regards me for a moment, then slowly smiles, eyes never leaving mine as our lovemaking commences.
Yes, it takes a team to love. And you constantly re-learn lessons you thought you'd mastered. But with him, I wouldn't have it any other way.