Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Make Me Sick ❯ Don't Make Me Sick ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: SweetasStrychnine 
Same as I said before. If you didn't read that, you won't read this so whatever.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 01.28.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 827 | Status: Completed
Same as I said before. If you didn't read that, you won't read this so whatever.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 01.28.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 827 | Status: Completed
Heyla! This is my first GW fic, my first lemon and my first hard core angst.i'm working on more GW fics, happier ones but this is the one i knew how to finish right now. Looks like I'll have time to think though. Stupid parents! Anyway, this was inspired by and contains the song 'Black black heart' by David Usher. Also, Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me.
//indicates song lyrics//
~*~indicates Duo's memories~*~
Duo was already in bed when they got home. Heero and Wufei, his one time lover and his friend, back from a three week mission and all Duo could think of to do was feign sleep in hopes they would leave him alone. He heard them coming up the stairs, talking to Quatre and Trowa who had waited up for them and then the sound of various doors opening and shutting as the pilots entered their rooms. He almost smiled as he glanced at his watch...3...2...1.. He heard the door across the hall from his open and was barely able to make out Trowa's footsteps leading to down the hall to Quatre's room. The "secret affair" continues. Duo drifted off to sleep, alone and better off that way.
He woke up hours later to the sound of muffled groans coming from the room next to his. Heero and Wufei. His lover and his friend. Love. What a laugh. Duo padded to the bathroom just off his room and looked at his arm. Not even Quatre had noticed the scars yet. Some old, some new, all red and angry looking in the dim light. He sat on the floor for an indeterminate length of time, just staring. Before he knew it the razor was back in his hand and he watched the light play off the blade. Soft laughter from the other room did nothing to break his concentration.
//Something ugly this way comes
through my fingers sliding inside//
~*~Duo looked over his shoulder at the larger man before running his fingers through his hair seductively.
"What was it you wanted to talk about, Heero?"
"Duo." Heero grabbed the smaller man and pulled him in to a tight embrace. Duo struggled for a moment before relaxing. Heero could always overpower him and both knew it. With a push Duo was sent sprawling and would have fallen had Heero's grip on his wrist not been bruisingly tight.
"Heero...what are you...? I don't want..."
Heero's lips cut off Duo's protests with a hard kiss.
//all these blessings, all these burns
I'm godless underneath your cover//
As Heero's grip loosened slightly Duo tried to turn away. One of Heero's hands shot out, fingers tangling in Duo's hair and pulling roughly. Duo tried not to whimper as tears filled his eyes. Heero pushed him over to the bed and leaned down, trapping him there. Duo tried to squirm from under him only to be stopped by the tightening fingers in his hair. Suddenly Heero pulled back, "It doesn't have to be tonight. You don't have to-"~*~
"do this." Duo finished. "I do." He pressed the blade into his wrist until a thin line of red appeared and then removed the blade to watch the blood run down.
//search for pleasure search for pain
in this world I am undying//
The thumps continued from the other room. Duo shuddered and scraped the blade across his wrist again, deeper. He began to sob, huddled as he was, on the floor.
~*~"Heero its okay. I want to. I, I've been thinking about you for a long time and I-"
"Shut up." Heero cut him off with another hard kiss and Duo was pressed into the mattress. Heero's hand crept into the black tank top Duo was wearing and caressed the firm chest while the other hand remained tangled in Duo's silky locks. Duo's shirt was ripped in Heero's haste to remove it from the braided man and see his bare skin. Duo moaned. Someone liked him, cared about him. Heero wouldn't have been doing this if he didn't care, right? Duo's thoughts were interrupted by Heero biting harshly on one pink nipple.
"Ahh! Heero?"
"Shut up, Baka."
"Okay." Heero continued to bite at Duo's chest and neck while he pulled the pants off the man trapped underneath him.
Duo moaned again. It hurt but it was real. It made him feel alive. Invincible. Because Heero loved him. Heero loved...~*~
//I unfurl my flag my nation helpless//
...pain. Duo collapsed on the floor, blood still flowing.
//black black heart why would you offer more
why would you make it easier on me to satisfy//
How had he been so stupid. Heero loved him? Duo laughed through his tears. What a joke. What a sick joke.
//I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens//
~*~ For a boy who had always felt inferior, unclean, the attention lavished on him by the other man was almost too much to bear.
"Hee-chan wants something?" Duo asked, biting his own lip as Heero nuzzled his neck.
"I said shut up." The blow was so unexpected that Duo didn't really feel it, just the tiny trickle of blood that ran from the corner of his mouth.
"Heero I..."
"You want this." Not a question.
"I..."
//all your sex and your diamonds//
"On your knees."
//as I begin to lose my grip
on these realities your sending//
"What? Heero...I don't understand..." Duo protested even as Heero moved him onto his hands and knees and knelt in front of him. Duo's head was guided forward until he was panting against Heero's arousal. He looked up and his eyes met Heero's. Heero's cold, expressionless eyes. The hand in Duo's hair tightened once more, urging his head forward. Duo had no choice but to comply.
//taste your mind and taste your sex
I'm naked underneath your cover//
Duo tried to keep from gagging on Heero's erection, tried to enjoy the sensation of being with the person he had been dreaming about forever but couldn't. This...it was wrong. Duo moved his head away from the boy in front of him and his hair, now unbound, made a curtain to hide his blush.
Duo was pushed down onto the mattress and Heero straddled his waist, still without making a sound.
//covers lie and we will bend and borrow
with the coming sign//
Duo moaned. He knew what was coming. Heero ran a finger down Duo's back but stopped just before he reached his ass to travel back up. Duo felt Heero's weight shift and then his hands were on Duo's hips. Duo began to struggle but it was way too late.~*~
//the tide will take the sea will rise and time will rape//
Duo's arms were raised above him, as if in supplication. The blood still ran in rivulets from the slashes on his wrists but he couldn't feel them. He was too busy reliving his most treasured and hated memory. A night with the man he loved.
~*~ Heero thrust forward and Duo screamed.
//black black heart why would you offer more
why would you make it easier on me to satisfy//
Heero withdrew and then thrust forward again and Duo could feel something, probably blood, trickling down his legs. Duo shrieked again and tried to squirm away.
"If you struggle it will hurt more." Heero's voice seemed to come from far away, "Hold still."
"Heero please...hurts..."
Heero stopped for a moment and looked down at Duo. "It's too late."
Duo inhaled sharply but before he could make a noise Heero's hand was clamped over his mouth. "Do you want them to see you like this? Be quiet before someone hears you squealing."
Duo bit through his lip in an effort to be quiet and did hid best to hold still. Heero plunged forward again and again until Duo mercifully passed out.
//I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens//
Pain. Burning pain. Duo came to, his tear streaked face inches from Heero's. No longer expressionless, Duo could see the look in Heero's eyes. Triumph.~*~
"Heero..." Duo breathed.
//all your sex and your diamonds//
Duo watched the puddle of blood on the tiles grow. He began to feel a little light headed but that didn't matter. The sounds from the other room had ceased and the only noise in the house was the drip of his blood.
//all your sex and your diamonds//
~*~ "Heero...you love me, right?"
"Don't make me sick."~*~
"Don't make me sick," Duo whispered to himself. "Don't make me sick." Head bowed, he waited for morning.
//indicates song lyrics//
~*~indicates Duo's memories~*~
Duo was already in bed when they got home. Heero and Wufei, his one time lover and his friend, back from a three week mission and all Duo could think of to do was feign sleep in hopes they would leave him alone. He heard them coming up the stairs, talking to Quatre and Trowa who had waited up for them and then the sound of various doors opening and shutting as the pilots entered their rooms. He almost smiled as he glanced at his watch...3...2...1.. He heard the door across the hall from his open and was barely able to make out Trowa's footsteps leading to down the hall to Quatre's room. The "secret affair" continues. Duo drifted off to sleep, alone and better off that way.
He woke up hours later to the sound of muffled groans coming from the room next to his. Heero and Wufei. His lover and his friend. Love. What a laugh. Duo padded to the bathroom just off his room and looked at his arm. Not even Quatre had noticed the scars yet. Some old, some new, all red and angry looking in the dim light. He sat on the floor for an indeterminate length of time, just staring. Before he knew it the razor was back in his hand and he watched the light play off the blade. Soft laughter from the other room did nothing to break his concentration.
//Something ugly this way comes
through my fingers sliding inside//
~*~Duo looked over his shoulder at the larger man before running his fingers through his hair seductively.
"What was it you wanted to talk about, Heero?"
"Duo." Heero grabbed the smaller man and pulled him in to a tight embrace. Duo struggled for a moment before relaxing. Heero could always overpower him and both knew it. With a push Duo was sent sprawling and would have fallen had Heero's grip on his wrist not been bruisingly tight.
"Heero...what are you...? I don't want..."
Heero's lips cut off Duo's protests with a hard kiss.
//all these blessings, all these burns
I'm godless underneath your cover//
As Heero's grip loosened slightly Duo tried to turn away. One of Heero's hands shot out, fingers tangling in Duo's hair and pulling roughly. Duo tried not to whimper as tears filled his eyes. Heero pushed him over to the bed and leaned down, trapping him there. Duo tried to squirm from under him only to be stopped by the tightening fingers in his hair. Suddenly Heero pulled back, "It doesn't have to be tonight. You don't have to-"~*~
"do this." Duo finished. "I do." He pressed the blade into his wrist until a thin line of red appeared and then removed the blade to watch the blood run down.
//search for pleasure search for pain
in this world I am undying//
The thumps continued from the other room. Duo shuddered and scraped the blade across his wrist again, deeper. He began to sob, huddled as he was, on the floor.
~*~"Heero its okay. I want to. I, I've been thinking about you for a long time and I-"
"Shut up." Heero cut him off with another hard kiss and Duo was pressed into the mattress. Heero's hand crept into the black tank top Duo was wearing and caressed the firm chest while the other hand remained tangled in Duo's silky locks. Duo's shirt was ripped in Heero's haste to remove it from the braided man and see his bare skin. Duo moaned. Someone liked him, cared about him. Heero wouldn't have been doing this if he didn't care, right? Duo's thoughts were interrupted by Heero biting harshly on one pink nipple.
"Ahh! Heero?"
"Shut up, Baka."
"Okay." Heero continued to bite at Duo's chest and neck while he pulled the pants off the man trapped underneath him.
Duo moaned again. It hurt but it was real. It made him feel alive. Invincible. Because Heero loved him. Heero loved...~*~
//I unfurl my flag my nation helpless//
...pain. Duo collapsed on the floor, blood still flowing.
//black black heart why would you offer more
why would you make it easier on me to satisfy//
How had he been so stupid. Heero loved him? Duo laughed through his tears. What a joke. What a sick joke.
//I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens//
~*~ For a boy who had always felt inferior, unclean, the attention lavished on him by the other man was almost too much to bear.
"Hee-chan wants something?" Duo asked, biting his own lip as Heero nuzzled his neck.
"I said shut up." The blow was so unexpected that Duo didn't really feel it, just the tiny trickle of blood that ran from the corner of his mouth.
"Heero I..."
"You want this." Not a question.
"I..."
//all your sex and your diamonds//
"On your knees."
//as I begin to lose my grip
on these realities your sending//
"What? Heero...I don't understand..." Duo protested even as Heero moved him onto his hands and knees and knelt in front of him. Duo's head was guided forward until he was panting against Heero's arousal. He looked up and his eyes met Heero's. Heero's cold, expressionless eyes. The hand in Duo's hair tightened once more, urging his head forward. Duo had no choice but to comply.
//taste your mind and taste your sex
I'm naked underneath your cover//
Duo tried to keep from gagging on Heero's erection, tried to enjoy the sensation of being with the person he had been dreaming about forever but couldn't. This...it was wrong. Duo moved his head away from the boy in front of him and his hair, now unbound, made a curtain to hide his blush.
Duo was pushed down onto the mattress and Heero straddled his waist, still without making a sound.
//covers lie and we will bend and borrow
with the coming sign//
Duo moaned. He knew what was coming. Heero ran a finger down Duo's back but stopped just before he reached his ass to travel back up. Duo felt Heero's weight shift and then his hands were on Duo's hips. Duo began to struggle but it was way too late.~*~
//the tide will take the sea will rise and time will rape//
Duo's arms were raised above him, as if in supplication. The blood still ran in rivulets from the slashes on his wrists but he couldn't feel them. He was too busy reliving his most treasured and hated memory. A night with the man he loved.
~*~ Heero thrust forward and Duo screamed.
//black black heart why would you offer more
why would you make it easier on me to satisfy//
Heero withdrew and then thrust forward again and Duo could feel something, probably blood, trickling down his legs. Duo shrieked again and tried to squirm away.
"If you struggle it will hurt more." Heero's voice seemed to come from far away, "Hold still."
"Heero please...hurts..."
Heero stopped for a moment and looked down at Duo. "It's too late."
Duo inhaled sharply but before he could make a noise Heero's hand was clamped over his mouth. "Do you want them to see you like this? Be quiet before someone hears you squealing."
Duo bit through his lip in an effort to be quiet and did hid best to hold still. Heero plunged forward again and again until Duo mercifully passed out.
//I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core
I'm eating all your kings and queens//
Pain. Burning pain. Duo came to, his tear streaked face inches from Heero's. No longer expressionless, Duo could see the look in Heero's eyes. Triumph.~*~
"Heero..." Duo breathed.
//all your sex and your diamonds//
Duo watched the puddle of blood on the tiles grow. He began to feel a little light headed but that didn't matter. The sounds from the other room had ceased and the only noise in the house was the drip of his blood.
//all your sex and your diamonds//
~*~ "Heero...you love me, right?"
"Don't make me sick."~*~
"Don't make me sick," Duo whispered to himself. "Don't make me sick." Head bowed, he waited for morning.