Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Drunken Wufei ❯ Drunken Wufei ( One-Shot )

Ok this is a take off of the song Drunken Sailor
Disclaimer I don't own the Gboys, they are owned by Bandai and Sunrise.
Warning, extreme silliness and implied 1x2, 4x3 This was writtened on
a whim and has not been beta-read, nor do I have spell-check, so watch out
for grammar errors and mis-spellings

Drunken Wufei

Duo was bored and frustrated, Heero had gone off for a month long
mission with Trowa, leaving him no outlet for certain energies. Quatre was
also bored and frustrated, which was a bad thing since it left him much more
open to suggestions from the aformentioned bored and frustrated Duo.
Then one night Duo came home with several cases of beer and declared to
Quatre and Wufei that they were all going to get rip-roaring drunk. Wufei
said he would only have one bottle, but some careful bottle switching on
Duo's part made sure that one bottle was never empty. Soon there was one
very drunk Wufei stuck with two almost sober walking hormones. Quatre
pulled out a camcorder and began singing

"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"Earlye in the evening"

"Way hey up he rises"
"Way hey up he rises"
"Way hey up he rises"
"Earlye in the evening"


Duo seemed to think for a moment, then a grin spread across his face, and he
ran to the bathroom and grabbed a little green jar, returning to the living
room, he displayed his prize and sang

"Turn his hair green with Manic Panic"
"Turn his hair green with Manic Panic"
"Turn his hair green with Manic Panic"
"Earlye in the evening"

<chorus>

30 minutes later Wufei's hair was a nice shade green, too bad it clashed
with his skin, oh well it would fade out in a couple weeks. But Duo and
Quatre who were still bored sang

"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"Earlye in the evening"

Duo got a crazy gleam in his eye, and a devilish smirk spread acrros his
face,

"Put him in a dress and high heels"
"Put him in a dess and high heels"
"Put him in a dress in high heels"
"Earlye in the evening."
<chorus>

A quick search of the safe house produced nothing suitable, so Duo and
Quatre bundled Wufei into the car, still handing him bottles of beer. Most
of the stores where closed, so the boys decided to make do with what was
availble at a local Walmart. There they found a cute black baby doll dress
with an empire waist and puffed sleaves, and green flowers around the
neckline. After that a pair of strappy high heeled sandals, a headband with
a glitter butterfly, a tiny bit of lipgloss and eyeshadow completed the
image. Wufei now looked like a very sweet young schoolgirl who really
shouldn't be out that late, or in such company.

Snickering, Duo and Quatre loaded Wufei back into the car and drove around
trying to see what other mischief they could get into. By now all of them
were singing

"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"Earlye in the evening"

Their car shrieked to a halt as they past a stripclub bearing a banner
saying "Male Dancers Amateur Night." Parking quickly. Duo and Quatre then
hussled Wufei inside to sign him up. They had a bit of a problem convincing
the show director that Wufei was indeed male, but a quick lift of the skirt
took care of that. They were then guiding Wufei to the stage singing

"Put him on stage to take it off."
"Put him on stage to take it off."
"Put him on stage to take it off."
"Earlye in the evening."
<chorus>

Duo and Quatre watched with glee as Wufei danced(well stumbled) to the low
pulsating music. Giggling Quatre zoomed in with the camera everytime
Wufei did sometime especaily embarrasing. He did a lot of zooming. As the
song ended Wufei landed in the lap of a tall ginger haired man, who merely
smiled at his sudden good fortune.

Once they got over their laughter and took notice of Wufei's situation, and
decided they better get him home before something happen(guess they had that
much of a consencise left)
It took some work, but they got Wufei away from the man, and back into the
car. Heading home, tired from the nights activaties they half-heartedly
sang

"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"What shall we do with a drunken Wufei?"
"Earlye in the morning"

Getting home they dragged Wufei to the couch and plopped down, with Wufei
passing out immediatly. Dup decided to be nice and dressed Wufei in his
usual clothes and place a plastic waste basket, aspirin and some water
within easy reach. Quatre than pulled the tape out of the camcorder, and
sang

"Get it on film and watch it later"
"Get it on film and watch it later"
"Get it on film and watch it later"
"Early in the morning"

At that moment the door swung open and Heero and Trowa walked in. Duo and
Quatre took one look and glomped them(I think you can figure out who was
glomping who) and dragged them to the bedrooms.

Much later Wufei woke up with a pounding headache, flip-flopping stomach,
and extremely dry mouth. Sitting up he quickly reached for the basket,
after the heaving stopped he washed down some aspirin with water. Quietly
sipping the water he tried to remember what had happen the night before,
when his eye landed on a video tape labeled 'Drunken Wufei'. When he felt
his stomach would handle movement he got up and popped the tape in. Walking
back to the couch he saw a hundred dollar bill lying on the coffee table
with a note pinned to it. picking it up the note read
"Dear Dragon,
Come visit me soon. And please wear that darling little dress.

Sincerely Treize"

With a sense of dread and confusion, Wufei started the tape.

KISAMA!!!!!!!!!!

MAXWEEEEEEEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

WINNEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The End