Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Duo?s Not-So-Secret Secret ❯ Duo?s Not-So-Secret Secret ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Duo's Not-So-Secret Secret

By Doodle and chibi sakura

It was about eleven in the morning on Saturday. Quatre was cleaning the house by himself because the others disappeared, somehow. He was in Duo's room when he decided to clean under the bed.

"Look out dust bunnies, here I come!"

With one left of the bed sheet, Quatre did not find the `dust bunnies' he was hoping to see, but something else, a pile of something.

"Oh my goodness! I didn't know Duo liked that kind of stuff. But I could be wrong."

Hoping it wasn't as bad as it seemed, he opened the magazine and quickly shut it.

"He has so much of them, it looks like there are at least twenty of these things about, um, bi..."

Quatre shuddered. He thought to himself as he as he walked down stairs to bake cookies for the boys if and when they came back.

"How can someone be bi? I don't get it. It... it... doesn't make sense."

Then he heard a bang from the basement.

"DAMN IT! Heero is drying his boots in the laundry drying machine again!"

Infuriated, Quatre ran downstairs to get the boots out of the dryer. He opened the door and stopped short. There was a longhaired brunette sitting in front of the washing machine, rubbing a bump on her head. Quarte was surprised.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Courtney you baka!"

"You don't have to call me that. It's rude, impolite and it can hurt someone's feelings."

"Duo told me you were whinny, but I never thought it was this bad."

"What else did Duo tell you?"

"Fine, I'll tell you, if it'll shut you up. Oh, last night, in bed, he also told me that he liked it when the three of us got into bed and-"

She quickly stopped, already knowing the accident that was made.

"I just want to ask you one more thing, is that alright?"

Courtney nodded.

"Did you or Duo suggest it?"

"Me. He liked the idea."

"What? But, I don't even know you! And I didn't know Duo liked me that much and it's a little bit flattering... No! I love Trowa. I could never do that to my dear joker."

"Duo's more of a joker."

Courtney grinned to herself at the comment she made. Quatre edged away from her a little.

"Excuse me, I think I smell the cookies burning."

"Oh, well, if it would make you more comfotable, you can ask your Trowa if he wants to join."

Quatre smiled, blushed, sweatdropped, and quickly shook his head no.

"I'm not really into orgies. And I don't think Trowa is either."

Quatre ran back into the kitchen. He wondered how Courtney got there, why Duo picked her (out of all the crazy girls he saw on the street corner) and why she was laying over the washer and dryer.

"I guess it's Duo's choice."

He put a fresh batch of double chocolate chip fudge cookie dough into the oven. It didn't smell as good as it usually did. Maybe all that happened was a little bit of a shock to him. But why? How could Duo be like that without anybody noticing?

"Hey, those smell great Quatre. I'm really hungry. Is there any ice cream in the freezer? Hey, Quatre, what's wrong?"

"Duo, I, I, umm, met Courtney."

"Oh yeah? Isn't she great? And that hair! Who couldn't love that hair?"

"Um, sure, I guess. She asked me to, um,.. She invited..."

Duo found it very humorous that Quatre was having trouble spitting it out.

"...you to an orgy with me and her. We can always loosen you up with some wine."

"I have Trowa. No. I can't! No alcohol, no orgies!"

Duo grinned more and stole a small piece of the cookie dough while Quatre was nervously mixing, Quatre smacked Duo's hand with the spoon.

"It will be fun. I can teach you tricks Heero taught me. But, she's vicious towards him. He said she doesn't trust him around me. We wear each other out and then she gets none. You're more sharing. That makes you a better orgy partner."

"Stop it Duo! I don't want to be part of your . . . thing. Just leave me out of it!"

"Fine. But you're welcome anytime. In case you change your mind."

"Duo, does anyone else know about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Someone like Wufei or Trowa."

"No, not Wufei, not yet."

It was a little strange that he didn't say no about Trowa too. With that in mind, a scary and very dirty thought went into Quatre's mind.

"Duo, you didn't say if Trowa knows. Does he?"

"Trowa? Does he ever!?!? But seriously, you'll have to ask him yourself."

"What? Does he know or not?"

"I'm unsure about that. He's quiet. But I think he's a bi. Go ask him."

Duo grinned. Then he sucsesfuly grabbed a chunk of cookie dough. He ate it while walking away, being lead to his room by Courtney. Quatre was worried.

"My dear Trowa isn't bi, is he?"

Quatre heard a yell from outside. He ran out. Wufei was looking very afraid and panicky. He was sitting on the ground, holding a Nataku plushie, and rocking himself.

"Sally Po. Sally Po. Sally Po. Sally Po. Sally Po...."

"Wufei! Calm down! What's wrong?"

"I... I was practicing with my sword. And I got sleepy. And... And I fell asleep and..."

"Wufei. What happened?"

"Look over . . . over there."

His right arm rose and pointed at a tree. Underneath the shade of the branches was someone who looked as if she had just woken up from a long day of strenuous work.

"I fell asleep there. And when I woke up, I saw her next to me and . . . and . . ."

Never before had Quatre (or anyone else) see Wufei so upset. He looked as though he might burst into tears when the person got up, running towards him.

"Oh Wufei! I had the best time sleeping with you, even if it was only two hours. I'm sure you enjoyed it as much as I did!"

Sally Po glomped him. He squirmed out of her grip and hid behind Quatre. She tried to look seductive but no one can look seductive in Mickey Mouse and Pokèmon sweats.

"Oh my little fortune cookie! You looked so sweet while you were sleeping. Even with the drool. I just couldn't wake you for your sweet Asian love."

Wufei tried to stand up but he fell on Quatre, furiously swinging his sword.

"Injustice! I'm not some common Asian! I'm Chinese!"

Then Wufei realized what she had ment and almost had a nervous breakdown.

"Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here! Leave Wufei alone!"

Quatre was brandishing the spoon he was using to stir the cookie dough as if it was a fencing sword. Sally Po sulked, grabbed the spoon, and licked it as she shuffled away.

"Wufei, you can help me in the kitchen, if you'd like to."

"No, that's a woman's job. You do it. I want to stay out here and make sure she doesn't return."

With that, Quatre walked back towards the house, wondering how a person of such honor and dignity could be afraid of the opposite gender.

Quatre walked into the kitchen, knowing that he would find his cookies burnt. Strangely, there were not any burnt cookies, not even any cookies at all. The only thing left was a bare cookie sheet placed on top of the oven.

"Cookies, where did you go? Why did you leave? I didn't try to burn you, I had to save Wufei from the evil Sally. Please come back."

"Quatre. Stop talking to the cookies. They're not there. Duo is down stairs playing video games and eating them."

Quatre turned around to see Heero who was making a sandwich for himself. Wufei had just walked inside the house. Quatre ran down stairs to bitch slap Duo a few times.

"Cookies!"

Wufei jumped a few feet in the air and looked around him. Then he realized that it wasn't Sally Po who said that but Quatre.

"DON'T YELL THAT QUATRE!"

Quatre ignored Wufei and slapping Duo in the back of the head.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Quatre! Stop it!"

"You ate my cookies! You ate them all!"

"That's not true. Courtney helped me eat them."

"You're not being funny Duo. And why is she still here?"

"C'mon Quatre, you can't be the only woman around here."

"Duo!"

Courtney just laughed, not even trying to hold it in.

"Duo, you should leave him alone, you know he can't defend himself."

"Fine."

Quatre felt that he should leave, seeing how he had been humiliated enough from Duo and Courtney, but he didn't.

"You, you, WHORES!"

Wufei pretended to be surprised that little Quatre finally figured this out. Trowa entered & frowned at Duo. Then he stole the bag of chips Duo was munching on.

"Don't look at me like that Duo. After Catherine feeds you soup for a while you'll understand. Quatre what's wrong?"

"Do I act too feminine?"

"No. Well, maybe a little..."

Wufei snorted.

"Well, if you lived around 29 sisters for most of your life you'd act somewhat like an onna too Wufei. It's true. Just because you're Chinese doesn't mean that fact can't exclude you too."

"Why should it matter if you act like a girl Quatre? We all know you do."

Duo's statement was not surprising, in fact, it was almost expected.

"I'm gonna take Courtney home now."

Just as Duo and Courtney walked out of the basement, Heero rushed in.

"Is Duo leaving the house?"

"Yeah, he is. Why'd you need to know Heero?"

"I found . . . objects . . . in Duo's room. It might explain some things about his behavior. You might want to see them."

The four boys walked to the second floor of the house and entered the second door on the left.

"You mean why he's `decided' to have bisexual relations?"

Everyone looked at Wufei. Wufei looked at them as if to ask "What?" but they turned around and Heero picked up some folders from off the bed.

"I found these on the floor in front of the dresser over there. I suppose they were being hidden underneath the dresser."

Heero opened the folders and showed pictures of guys with long hair and wearing skimpy female clothing. Some of the guys even wore padding.

"He's into drag queens?"

"Yes. He developed into liking women too because of this I guess."

Heero bent over and started searching more under the dresser. Wufei had to leave the room because a stream of blood issued itself from his nose.

This left Trowa, Quatre and Heero just looking at each other. Quatre, being the most confused on the subject, asked his question first.

"So does this mean that Duo would have some girl clothes in his closet?"

"There's only one way to find out."

Trowa cautiously opened the door, but they could not find anything out of the ordinary.

"You guys, look at this."

Quatre pulled out a large box from the back of the closet. The lid was already removed revealing clothes not typically worn by boys. They rummaged trough the items for a while, until Heero picked up a very skimpy garment.

"Oh my gosh! That's the newest miniskirt from the Gap this season."

"Um, Quatre, why do you know that?"

"I have 29 sisters!"

"They're Muslim. Muslim women don't wear miniskirts."

"We're unorthodox?"

"There are no unorthodox Muslims."

"I know this tan, Asian girl who just got a job at the Gap. She lets me try on the clothes and I model them for her."

Quatre hung his head in shame.

"Heero. Please don't tell Duo of Wufei. Wufei would never let me live it down and Duo would use it against me."

"Little one. I didn't know you had any fetishes."

They stopped their conversation when Wufei came back.

"What are we gonna do with all this?"

"Lets leave it here. If Duo actually enjoys dressing up the way he does we should let him do it. Besides, we're invading his private life."

Quatre hoped for no counterattack.

"That's crap! What normal minded male would find enjoyment as he puts on a dress?"

"Wufei, we should try to embrace Duo's differences."

"Shut up you pansy!"

The conversation was broken one more time by the once closed-door opening.

"Hey! My stuff!"

The Duo realized what they had exactly taken out. His face went blank and he blushed a dark crimson hue. He stammered and left the room.

"Heero. Maybe you should check on him. He looked pretty shaken."

"Maybe I should back some more cookies to comfort him."

"He eats enough already!"

Quatre ignored Wufei and went to bake cookies. Heero found Duo `hiding' on the roof with a gallon of vanilla ice cream. Heero sat next to him. Duo turned his head away in shame. Trowa joined them.

"It's okay that you're a drag queen. I know other people that are drag queens too."

"Really Trowa? Like who?"

"Like Catherine," Heero attributed.

"...And Sally Po.", said Quatre as he climbed onto the roof.

He had a bowl of cookie dough with him that he was mixing. Trowa, Duo, and Heero looked at Quatre.

"Well, `she' does have a deep voice and a hairy back," said Quatre.

"How do you know `she' has a hairy back?" asked Trowa.

"`She' was wearing Catherine's circus outfit when she tied us up last week to get at Wufei.", said Quatre.

"That's right! It was thick like a rug!", said Duo who suddenly rembered.

The 4 boys shuddered simultaneously.

"Disturbing." said Trowa.

Trowa noticed Heero was shaking. It quickly became violent jolts after a few seconds.

"I can't get the image out of my mind!" yelled Heero.

He pulled out his gun and was about to aim for his head but his friends tackled him. Even Quatre dropped the bowl full of cookie dough to stop Heero. Gun out of his hands and tied immobile in his own jacket, Quatre and Duo just realized what just had happened when they heard the crash of glass on the ground.

"Nooooo! Cookie dough! Gone!", cried Duo.

"My best bowl! All the eggs and sugar! The little chocolate chips!", squeaked Quatre.

The two boys sat on the roof crying over spilt cookie dough and the glass bowl. Trowa comforted Quatre and Duo sat next to the tied up Heero. A tiny waterfall of tears ran off roof. Wufei stepped outside only to be drenched in Duo's and Quatre's tears. He looked up on the roof. And then at the broken bowl on the ground.

"What in the hell happened here?", yelled Wufei.

Duo only cried more. Wufei shook his head.

"I don't even want to know anymore what you girls were doing.", said Wufei.

And with that he entered the house to change into a dryer pair of clothes.