Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ epitaph ❯ epitaph ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing then it couldn't be aired on Cartoon Network because it would have too much yaoi in it and if I were Bandai then I would get my butts cracking on animating Gundam Wing Zero so I could make tons of depressing music videos with it.

 

Warnings: It's a shounen ai pairing but you don't really know do you, and that's all the hints you're getting. Death

 

Yeah YOU have to figure out the pairing and whose pov it is. It's really not that hard ne?

 

Epitaph: by One-Winged-Shinigami

 

It's been a year now.

 

Fuck, it seems more like a 100 years, without you.

 

Cause without you color is lost to me, the warmth from the sun is nothing to me, and I no longer have the ability to smile, it's just too hard.

 

I bet you thought you saved me that day.

 

But God I wish you would have just let me die; it would have been so much better than this shit I call a life now.

 

Did you think you were like all the others from my past? Did you think I could just go on, pick up where I last left off?

 

No, dammit it hurts so much; and it never goes away. So I hurt myself, just for a distraction. Physical pain is a thousand times easier to deal with than mental and it takes my mind off the emotional pain that constantly threatens to drown me.

 

Maybe I've already drowned. But I don't think so because I've seen hell before and it's nothing compared to what I have to go through now.

 

I brought flowers see? They're Irises; supposedly they are more beautiful in the rain or some shit. It reminds me of you, you always were brighter in the worse situations; a light amongst all the carnage and blood and death.

 

It's raining now. I sometimes wonder if rain is earth's futile attempt to clean itself.

 

Did you ever wonder about these things?

 

My cheeks are wet but I don't think it's from the rain. Dammit no one has made me cry more than you!

 

But it's ok to cry today. I'm lying on top of you and my tears can soak right down to you. And I wish I could be down there with you. I want to just lye next to you and die.

 

But I can't! And it's your fault too.

 

You just leapt in from of me with no consideration for yourself. And as I held you in my arms you smiled at me for the first time and then told me that you loved me and then you just… died! And you ripped half of me with you!

 

So now I have to live for two people. Myself and for you.

 

And I tried really hard too. I went to the beach and the park for you. I ate ice cream and blew bubbles for you. I danced and sang and cried for you.

 

But I can't do it anymore. This isn't life, this isn't living. I have no dreams, no hobbies, no small pleasures to keep me here.

 

I live of drugs and alcohol and the pain that I inflict upon myself. An empty life. No joys for me and certainly not for you. Is this truly a life worth dying for?

 

If you saw how it had all turned out would you have died for me? Did you think that it would make me happy, that you saved me?

 

Maybe you just didn't realize. We were both too stupid to realize.

 

I love you too!

 

I wish I could just grab you and shack you! Don't you ever do anything like that ever again! Promise to never leave me!

 

I love you.

 

To hold you and comfort you. Shh, it'll be ok, it's all over now; I'll protect you.

 

I love you.

 

To kiss you. Mmmm, I love you so much, don't ever leave my side, you're my angel.

 

I love you.

 

But I can't and I still love you and it still hurts like nothing else.

 

I love you, I love you, I love you. Please come save me again, let me see you again, let me be with you for once. Let's start over. I love you too so please come kill me!

 

I love you, I love you, I love you…