Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Estella ❯ Miss Me? ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own gundam wing or any of its characters. I don't even own my car so don't sue me*_*

Estella

BY: Lara Winner

She was here. It didn't take him long to catch the sound of her soft laughter drifting in the air. Turning he felt the familiar pang of hurt, the little ache he always felt, whenever he saw her. It was rare occasions when they saw each other now. But it hadn't always been that way. Once upon a time, which seemed like lifetimes ago, they had been roommates. She had been his best friend. But like so many good relationships, time and distance deteriorated the bonds that were once so strong to mere scraps of memories.

He raised his hand in a half wave as her clear blue eyes landed on him. Her shimmering pink lips curved in a smile as she mouthed the word 'Hi'. His own lips curved in a rueful smirk as he placed that smile. She gave everyone she met that beaming 'I'm-the-only-friend-you'll-ever-need' smile. It was so impersonal, so overused. He remembered back to when he used make her laugh. Back then she had her own reserved smile for him. The one that made him weak-kneed and tongue-tied. But she didn't smile at him like that anymore. Considering it had been over a year since the last time they'd given each other a nice polite hello he was pretty sure he wasn't even classified as a personal friend anymore.

He watched her through the corner of his eye as she made her way through the crowded room mingling with people here and there. Reluctantly he admitted that the years had done her good. Her flat girly figure had long since matured into that of a woman. Her soft curves were emphasized by the sway of her black cocktail dress as she sashayed among the guests. She was a tempting sight. She always had been, even when she was dressed for bed in his boxers and an oversized T-shirt.

He smiled at the memory forcing his gaze elsewhere. Despite his attempt at relaxation he still stiffened ever so slightly as her voice carried amidst the other voices clamoring in the hall. He was beginning to regret coming here. He hated dinner parties. He hated the elegance and the sophistication paired with wearing confining clothing and being stuck in idle conversation with the most uninteresting people on the face of the earth. Of course Quatre had pleaded that he come and even the God of Death had a soft spot for Quatre, who didn't?

Pulling at his tie he tried to deny the fact that the party had him feeling uncomfortable. He didn't belong here. This was Quatre's crowd, the upper crust of society. He was just a run-of-the-mill small business owner making ends meet but not really living it up. He didn't need to rub shoulders with the big shots, he had all the connections he needed. But try as he might he couldn't deny that he had hoped to see her tonight. Deep down he knew that she was the reason he hadn't tried harder at worming his way out of Quatre's invitation.

Feeling bored and trapped he subtly made his way out onto the veranda. The inane chatter and fake aristocratic demeanor of the bubble headed women and ruthless men were beginning to wear on his nerves. He took another sip of the expensive champagne noting that when his glass was finished he was leaving. He had better things to do than watch the moronic pageantry before him.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Her soft voice caught him off guard as he turned slightly casting a curious glance in her direction. It was by miracle his jaw didn't drop in astonishment that she was lowering herself to talk to him. It seemed ever since she'd moved up in the social circles that poor old Duo just wasn't good enough anymore. Not bothering to the slight sarcasm in his voice he asked, "Why would you bother looking for me?"

"To talk to you." Hilde replied quietly.

"Well I'm here so talk." He muttered wincing as he realized he was acting worse than a petulant child. With a resigned sigh he looked away from her wary expression. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know you probably hate me but…," She looked down at her own glass chewing on her bottom lips nervously. The familiar action made the slightest smile cross his lips. When she looked up again his smile faded at the completely miserable look on her pretty face. "We didn't keep in touch like we planned did we?"

"No. Our lives got in the way remember." He answered honestly. It wasn't entirely her fault and he knew it. Her life had taken a different path and he was partly the blame for wanting no part of it.

"You don't know how many times I've wanted to pick up the phone and call you."

"Why didn't you?" He asked almost unable to believe they were having this conversation.

"Its been so long and I….It's the same damn reason you never called me." She snapped.

"Yeah. What do you say to a complete stranger right?" He asked knowing he should take advantage of the opportunity and make amends yet still unable to deny that her abandonment was a deep betrayal of everything he believed in. A very deep betrayal that still hurt.

"No, maybe I just didn't want to hear you preach about how I'm changing myself to fit in. I don't give a damn about those people in there Duo. This is all just bullshit that comes along with my work. You told me to follow my dream and I did. My paintings have taken off and yeah maybe I am 'filthy rich' now but I haven't changed. You know if I had even thought we'd end up this way I would never have taken that scholarship and moved to earth."

"That's not a fair thing to say, Hilde. I knew how much that meant to you. That's not the problem. I just don't see how you can turn your back on your real friends for the sake of those two faced snobs." He answered bitterly.

"I didn't come out here to argue. This is the same ridiculous fight we had the last time we talked and I'm not having it again."

She started to turn away heading back to the hall but he grasped her hand stopping her mid-step. Grudgingly she paused waiting to see what he would do. Unsure what to say that would help the situation and not hinder it, he laced his fingers in hers and squeezed her hand gently. He felt her relax, then sigh as the faintest smile curved her lips. Ever so softly she whispered, "I don't want to fight anymore Duo. Why can't we just be like we used to?"

"Well we never did know when to give in now did we?" He asked knowing that she would have to agree about their stubbornness.

"No but we used know how to have fun. Remember raiding the fridge at one in the morning and then crashing on the couch because we were watching cartoons." She laughed.

"How could I forget? I still do, it's just no fun doing it by myself." He answered risking a quick glance at her saddened expression.

"Are you ever going to forgive me?"

He looked down at their entwined hands swallowing hard at the lump that seemed to suddenly lodge itself in his throat. How could he answer that? What was there to forgive? He was the fool that fell in love with her. He was the one with the broken heart that he'd rather die then ever admit to. Her ignorance of the situation was not something he could blame her for. Taking a deep breath he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand knowing it was time they stopped playing the same old losing game. "I forgave you a long time ago. But we'll never be able to go back either, you know it as well as I do."

"I was afraid you'd say that about us." She whispered pulling her hand put of his.

At the loss of physical contact between them he stiffened knowing he couldn't put himself through this anymore. Pushing the pain aside, he forced himself to sever the old ties completely. "There is no more us. In a few months you'll be a married woman with a husband and a whole new life to occupy your attention. The last thing you need is to try and fit me into the mix." Before she could respond to his words his voice turned mournful as he purposely tortured himself by saying, "And before you know it you're gonna have kids and pets and the nice little house with the white picket fence. You'll have everything I always hoped you'd find." I just hoped it would be with me, he added silently as he turned his gaze out over the moonlit garden.

He heard her low growl of frustration as she stormed. "This has nothing to do with Joshua so leave him out of this. "

"Are you saying he would encourage you to pick up the pieces of our friendship? I don't think so Hilde. He'd be appalled. It would upset his sense of propriety and st-"

"Stop it Duo!" she hissed.

"I'm just being honest. Thy guy can't stomach me and you know you're gonna do whatever he wants cuz he's got you Hilde." He snapped back.

"You haven't changed one bit. You can't admit that you were wrong can you? You want to place the blame all on me but you never made an attempt to meet me half way. Well I'm sorry I didn't sit around and waste my opportunity of a life time just to sit and keep you company because your to scared to take a chance and go after what you really want. You don't want run that scrap yard any more than I did. But its not my fault you enjoy playing the part of the lost little boy and gaining everyone's sympathy just so you can save face and in turn serve to make me miserable!"

He stilled completely at her words gritting his teeth against the hurtful anger that filled his heart. He heard had soft gasp as she realized everything she had just said. So that's what she thought. He was just trying to make her life miserable. Being his friends had been a complete waste of time. God that hurt! More than anything else she could have done, knowing she believed everything she said hurt like hell.

He blinked as her soft horrified panicked voice broke through his thoughts, "I'm so sorry Duo, I didn't mean it-"

Not meeting her eyes he grasped her hand and bringing it to his lips he placed a gentlemanly kiss on her soft skin as he said evenly despite the fact that his heart was shattering to little pieces, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you have a wonderful life and I wish you the best. Now if you'll excuse me I don't wish to cause you any more trouble." Not giving her a chance to reply he released his grip and turned heel walking away with as much pride as he could muster.

Letting her harsh words run through his head he made his way through the crowded hall pushing and squeezing past the other guests. He didn't even bother to seek out Quatre. The last thing he needed was his empathetic heart to pick up on the inner turmoil coursing through him. This was something he needed to cope with on his own. It wasn't unexpected, she never had loved him and it wasn't such a surprise to find out exactly how little she cared now.

Making his way out onto the damp night air he kept his eyes down as he stuffed his hand deep in his pockets. He knew this wasn't the best neighborhood to take a midnight stroll but God help the poor bastard that tried to start something now. The God of Death was ready for commission.

"Duo!"

He ignored Hilde's shout as he picked up his pace. Over his own footsteps he could hear the clicking of her heels on the concrete as she set to catch up to him. He kept walking feeding the seething anger beginning to take over his thought process. Damn her! Damn her to hell she'd hurt him enough.

"Duo please." She pleaded grabbing his arm in an attempt for him to stop.

He shrugged off her touch facing her with fire blazing in his eyes. "What? What else could you possibly have left to say, huh babe? You want me out of your life? Fine! Consider it done."

"No Duo that's not…" She choked grabbing the lapels of his expensive jacket as she looked into his eyes earnestly, her own blue orbs sparkling with unshed tears.

"Don't say anything Hilde. You've already said enough." He replied quietly looking away from her beseeching gaze. Dragging in a deep breath he added bitterly, "I'm sure your fiancée is wondering where you are so why don't you run along now. Go on, go."

"I don't have a fiancée. I called off the engagement. I don't have anything keeping me in New York anymore." She whispered.

He blinked unsure he heard her words correctly. So she wasn't getting married, how was that supposed to change anything? She still didn't want him. Pushing the thought aside he asked, "Why?"

Without warning she leaned up pressing her lips to his gently. He froze in shock as she kissed him lightly, unable to respond and unable to stop her. He held his breath as the seconds ticked trying to imprint the feel of the moment to memory. Then she pulled back slightly, the tears in her eyes beginning to make their way down her pale cheeks as she stated, "I had a choice between love or money. I chose love. Please tell me I'm not too late. I've missed you so much."

Amidst the thousand thoughts running through his head he could only focus on one. Second chances don't come twice. It was now or never. Remembering her words from earlier he knew she was right. He should've told her years ago how he truly felt but he'd been too afraid. Yet now… "I've missed you too." He said softly as he pulled her closer holding her tightly. "You have no idea how much." He added before bringing his lips down on hers in a passionate kiss.

He felt no resistance as her lips parted eagerly under his demanding assault. Running his hands down her back he heard her moan softly as she pressed against him even closer. Through the haze of desire starting to cloud his mind he knew this had never felt so right. The feel of her body, the taste of her lips, it was all so overwhelming that he couldn't believe his fantasies were finally reality.

Breaking the kiss he looked down into her dazed eyes still afraid to hope. He didn't have this kind of luck. Fate never gave him a helping hand when he needed it, it was more like a kick in the ass when he didn't. But she was here right? He wasn't dreaming this. She was flesh and blood and very willing in his arms. It was too good to be true.

As if she were reading his thoughts she buried her face against his chest, her voice muffled as she said, "I never thought we'd end up like this. I thought no matter what we'd always have each other. I just didn't realize just how much you were a part of me till you weren't there anymore. I never wanted us to go our separate ways but we did and I almost thought you'd never forgive me for it. And I tried to move on and I tried to love Joshua but he wasn't you." She paused looking up as she breathed, "If I had told you I loved you three years ago would it have mattered then?"

"Yeah, cuz you'd have known I loved you too."

She smiled, her lips curving in the old grin she used to flash at him and he felt his breath catch. God, she still had that effect on him and he wouldn't change it for the world. Smiling a genuine smile for the first time in ages he grasped her hand as he suggested, " Come on, let's get out of here."

"But what about the-."

"Trowa came so I doubt Quatre will miss us." Leaning closer he breathed against her ear huskily, "Besides, we have some catching up of our own to do."

Watching the meaning of his words sink in he grinned at the delicate blush that stained her cheeks. Still she smiled evilly as she answered, "Since you put it like that, lead the way,"

A.N- Okay, I wrote this like forever ago but I thought I lost it when my cousin helped me up grade my computer. Last night I was digging through a back up disk I had made and I found this the wrong folder. So I patched it up a little and ta-da! Here it is. I think it's kind of weak but this is the result of random writing just after you've finished watching Great Expectations for the hundredth time. Anyway, I hope ya like it and if I get enough requests I may do the sequel and let you know just how well they get reacquainted. It up to you guys. Thanks for reading. Luv ya lots!!!!*_*