Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Expecting The Unexpected ❯ Chapter 2
GW and its characters don't belong to me but to Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, Bandai etc. etc.
Part 2 of Expecting the Unexpected. Lots o' angst in this one folks
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Eleven o'clock came to soon for Anne. She was stepping out of the bathroom after having brushed her teeth when she gasped, startled by a presence in the shadows of her room.
"I swear Trowa. With the way you slink around, sometimes I think you and Heero had to have been separated at birth."
The tall young man stepped out into the light, a small smile formed on his lips. "Just years of training in a lot of the same fields I suppose, nothing more."
He stepped over to her and peered down into her face; Anne looked up at him suddenly feeling small. He may have been four years younger but he was definitely a good head taller then her. Before she could collect her thoughts, he had collected her in his arms and was kissing her wildly and passionately. Her knees grew weak and she began to melt, her mind almost forgetting the reason she had called him here.
She pushed against him and shook her head breaking the kiss. "No, Trowa, we have to talk."
"You know me, I've never been one for too many words." He leaned into her, and tried kissing her again but she turned her head.
"Trowa, I'm pregnant. And, you're the only one I've been with these last few months." She felt his posture stiffen but he was still embracing her; she slowly turned her head to look back up into his face trying desperately to read his emotions.
He was simply staring down at her, his eyes narrowed as if what she just said was registering into his brain, though his tone was still matter-of-fact and monotone. "When did you find out?"
"Just today, I've suspected but it wasn't until this morning I had the nerve to test myself."
"It was dangerous to wait so long Anne. How far along do you believe yourself to be?"
"Two, maybe three months. I'm not sure."
"Then shouldn't you be getting to a doctor?"
Anne stepped out of his embrace and turned from him her arms hugging her body. "You sound like I'm keeping it."
He folded his own arms across his body and frowned. "Why wouldn't you?"
"Because of my status, my job, the bad press, Mariemaia...do I really need to go on? You're a smart guy Trowa you know what a disaster keeping this child would be. Besides, it's my body, my decision."
Trowa closed his eyes, his heart ached slightly, he had truly thought he would never have a child, let alone want one, but now when faced with the possibility, he knew without a doubt he wanted not only the child that she carried but also her along with it.
But, he would not pressure Anne, for he knew that she would have enough emotional turmoil and guilt in the decision she had made. He opened his eyes and stared at the back of her. "You are right. It is your body. I have no control over what you do with it. I am not your husband, not even your boyfriend, only a lover, someone who you seek out whenever you need your physical desires fulfilled," damn it, I have to press the issue somewhat, "I just feel there has to be another way. I'll marry you if that is what you want."
Une turned to him, anger her voice. " I'm not a weak, helpless woman who needs to marry a man to feel secure and complete...I in no way did this with the purpose of entrapping you into a permanent relationship you do not want."
"I never thought that for a moment Anne…it's just we've seen so much death...perhaps, we can find a little happiness with the child inside of you."
Her voice lowered and was now dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, yes, Trowa. Let's get married. We'll raise the child and Mariemaia together. We'll even have more children...hell we'll have it all, a white picket fence with a big back yard, a fuckin' golden retriever, lots of grandchildren and then we can die old and content, satisfied with no regrets...the female head of the Preventers and her little boy toy brat living happily ever after. Won't that be one for the history books?" Anne threw up her hands in frustration and sat down on the bed. "Get a reality check, Barton. Look at who we are, our pasts, a normal life and happily ever after is not meant for those like us."
Trowa sat down beside Anne but did not speak until his arms had encircled her, her head resting against his chest; he kissed the top of her head. "I can see your point of view somewhat, but I've no way of truly knowing the pain and torment you are feeling. And, I know if your mind is made up there is no changing it and whether I disagree, I also know I must respect your decision."
She covered her mouth with her four fingers no longer able to hold back the tears. "Then you don't hate me for what I'm going to do?" She jumped a little as she felt his hands gently grasp her shoulders and pull her away to look into her eyes.
"I have a feeling that in the long run you will have enough self-hatred to cover for both of us." His head snapped to the side from the force of her backhand blow.
"How dare you try and make me, feel guilty and loathsome!" She jolted from the bed and was towering over him. "I will not be manipulated by you."
"Anne, I wasn't trying too..."
She wouldn't allow him to finish, "After Treize, I vowed to never allow my body, my mind, my soul, to be controlled by anyone...especially a man!"
Trowa rubbed his open palm over his cheek and slowly rose to his feet, his voice raised somewhat though still calm. "Then I am to suffer for all of the hell Treize put you through, is that it? Is that why you sought me out in the first place because I reminded you somehow of Treize?"
Une turned away from him. "You can be very cool and detached, calculating and composed as he was...but other then that, you are nothing like Treize...and that is why I sought you out Trowa because you are nothing like him."
"And what would Treize have done if faced with such a situation as this?"
"He would tell me it was a mistake...that it wouldn't be right, for me, one who was not only of lower rank but lower in heritage than him to have this child. He would tell me the only course would be to abort it."
Trowa came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, surprised when she didn't shrug him off. "And now, how much of what you're saying, your decision, is based on what Treize would do? Even now, when he is no longer here to control you he still seems to have some type of authority over you."
He felt her shoulders begin to shake and heard the first few sobs from her throat. He turned her in his arms and pulled her to him; he sat them down on the bed and held her once again. He closed his eyes and rested his head on top of hers. Anger at Treize coursed through him as he thought about the many ways he had emotionally abused Anne. Manipulating her, at times even ruthlessly, over the years in the desire to mold her into his very own perfect soldier.
Her identity had been consumed by the will and wants of the aristocrat. She had lost it, her femininity, self-respect and her very soul to the man to become his puppet. And by the time he had truly felt regret and remorse for what he had done to her it had been too late and the will of the Treize's perfect soldier began to fight with the will of the girl that she was before Treize's influence. The result was by no means pretty, though, Trowa had to admit when he saw the softer side of Une, his original opinion of her began to change. And, as he learned more about the dynamics of her relationship with Treize, he began to develop an understanding of the woman and her complexities.
He had not only fallen in love with her strength and determination and undying loyalty that she possessed as Une, but also with the soft, feminine, kind-heartedness of her Lady persona. And, after she had learned to integrate the two sides of her personality, she had regained the gentle spirit of the young girl she had sacrificed for Treize, yet still retained the fierceness that had developed from becoming his soldier. But it seemed that it had brought with her as well, a certain distrust for men, along with the fear of possibly losing herself again to one.
How was he to prove to her that she had nothing to fear from him? That he would never use her as Treize had, but in fact, that he was in love with her and wanted to show her that love and protect her until his very last breath. The feeling was even stronger in him now knowing that she carried his child, their child. They had created something unique and special, and now she wanted to dispose of it as if it were nothing. Could he even stand to look at her afterwards or would all the love and respect he had built up for her be lost? She spoke the words for him.
"I don't blame you for wanting to leave me, I would want to leave myself as well."
He bowed his head as a mild pain began to continuously run across it. "I don't want to leave you Anne, but if you continue on the course you've chosen then I can no longer continue our relationship other than professionally."
Une said nothing at first, walking over to her bedroom door. She slowly opened it up and stood aside holding it. "Then as of tonight it is over."
His breath was heavy with a sigh as he stepped over the threshold into the hallway. "Is this what you're trying to show Mariemaia? That when faced with a problem it's easier to run away from it then confront it?"
"You bastard." She spoke the seething words venomously. "Get the hell out."
He took a step forward, but before he could leave, something in his gut told him to give it one last shot and tell her the truth. He spun around catching the door before she could close it completely, forcing it back open until he was face to face with her, cupping her jaw in both of his hands.
"I love you, Anne."
She felt lightheaded but maintained her stance as she tried to comprehend his words.
He then asked. "Do you think me a silly, delusional child sprouting off love due to mere infatuation and lust?"
"No."
"Then believe me, Anne. Do not think my words hold no truth, or that I'm trying to use them as a tactic to try and control you into doing what I want. For they are in fact honest and sincere...I love you...I want to love you, and the baby forever...I want to prove to you that happily ever after can exist, even for those, like us, that you think it impossible for. If you trust in me we can find a way." Her face before him became blurry with unshed tears, but he no longer cared, he pressed his forehead to hers. "You don't have to love me in return, I won't expect that from you...please...just don't, do this."
She pried his hands away from her face and pushed him away. The hoarseness and cracking of her voice betrayed the guise of her strong front. "I've made up my mind. Please, Trowa, just leave."
He looked up as the door shut quietly in his face. His tears fell down his cheeks, as did a great melancholy depression over his soul. He solemnly walked down the hall to make his way out of the house.
Anne leaned against the back of the shut door and exhaled a breath to try and calm her trembling form and threatening tears; it was unsuccessful. Her hands flew up over her face as she slid her body down the length of the door until she was on her knees where her tears began to fall and her body was suddenly racked with uncontrollable sobs.
Why, Trowa? Why the hell did you have to say those things? It was so much easier when I thought you didn't really care for me. But you had to go and sprout off words of undying love and devotion and what is worse... "I know you meant every word." But do I feel the same for you? I think I do, I know, I... "Stop this!"
She ceased her crying, drying her eyes with the back of her hands and rising to her feet, she paced a few times until she sat in front of her mirrored vanity. She frantically pulled several tissues from a box and patted at her blotchy skin and bloodshot eyes brought on by her crying; all the while she stared at her reflection. Stop this Anne! You're letting your emotions get the better of you. You're not a silly schoolgirl and you sure as hell are not going to act like one. There's only one course of action, and it's the logical choice.
Her reflection began talking back to her. "Even if it means throwing away your only chance at happiness? Trowa loves you and he wants you...and the baby. You know you trust in him and tonight he proved that even more."
She found words leaving her own mouth in reply to her reflected image. "But I have to remain independent, I cannot let myself be controlled again."
"You know Trowa would never try to control you in anyway, so get your mind off of Treize, he's dead, it's time to finally bury him."
"But if I rely on Trowa, I'll become weak again, I need to stay strong!"
"A person can only stay strong on their own for so long. Everyone needs someone to love, to trust, has this not what Trowa has shown you? So stop denying your true emotions, feelings...you love the boy and you know it... or are the dreams you have of him at night just a figment of my imagination?"
"Shut up! Shut up!" Rational thought left Une momentarily as she screamed the words to bring her fist up and smash it into the mirror, it cracked in several places, but did not break into pieces. Her reflection spoke one more time.
"You see Anne? Even you cannot escape your true feelings, no matter how hard you try and get rid of them."
She rose slowly from her chair, a new calm resolve relaxing her. "No, you're wrong. I am in control of my mind, my body, and I can get rid of whatever feelings I want to."
With those words, she brought her fist up a second time and struck the mirror; it then shattered completing into a million tiny shards.
TBC...