Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Eyes Cold As Stone ❯ Chapter Fourteen ( Chapter 14 )

Eyes Cold As Stone

Chapter 14

Heero raced down the street toward Nallen's. His legs pummeled the ground in time with his fear. The picture flashed through his mind as tears mingled with sweat. He had taken a last look at the picture and fled. He didn't want to face the horror again, though he knew that he'd have to. He raced to Nallen's so he could hold Duo-he couldn't be alone right now. He needed someone. Shit-Duo. Duo would never forgive himself for this-for that picture. He turned the last corner and flew through the door to the bar. He scanned the silent crowd for Duo-wait, silent? His eyes rested on the prone figure of Duo, sprawled at the foot of the bar. A man bent over Duo, checking his pulse with one hand, pressing his other hand against a large gash in Duo's forehead while shouting to a frightened cocktail waitress.

"Call da feckin' ambulance, lassie!" The thick Irish accent seemed to jumpstart her stupefied body into rushing behind the bar to fall upon the phone. "Call da police while yer at it." The Irishman turned back to Duo as Heero approached. "Hang on there, Duo. Stay with me. Don't give up, Duo, ya still have ta find Quat. Now come on, Duo. Wake up." Heero bent down beside the man.

"What happened?" The Irishman tensed up before looking at him, suspiciously appraising him before turning back to the braided American.

"A barfight, Heero." Heero blinked.

"How'd you-" The Irishman cut him off.

"Duo and Quat talk about you all the time." He looked at Duo, automatically registering the Irishman's words. "The arsehole over by the door," he flicked his head in the general direction, "he was hittin' on Duo. Duo refused so the arse broke a glass over his head. I believe Scott roughed him up a bit. We're just waiting for the cops and paramedics." Heero could hear the distant wail of sirens mourning for Duo. Duo's eyes flickered and the Irishman handed him over to Heero. He cautiously brushed his hand over Duo's cheek as the Irishman moved toward the door.

"Heero?"

"Yeah."

"You a dream?" Duo's eyes flickered open, revealing violet irises and flooding Heero with calming strength. Duo's eyes were beautiful. He brushed some of Duo's greasy hair out of his eyes.

"No." Duo painfully shut his eyes.

"You should be." Heero drew his eyebrows together in confusion. "Leave."

"What?" What the fuck was Duo saying?

"Go. Leave me alone. Don't get close to me."

"Why?"

"I'll only hurt you, too." Duo paused, staring solemnly at nothing. "Please. Save yourself. Go." The crowd huddling around them suddenly disappeared. The noise faded away to nothingness. Only Duo's voice and the mourning sirens were heard. Heero pulled Duo closer.

"I'm not letting you go."

"Fuck you, Yuy!" Duo's body began to shake as he struggled out of Heero's grasp. "I don't want to hurt you. Get away!" A paramedic rushed in, firing questions about Duo's condition. Heero reluctantly allowed the paramedic to take Duo away from him. He stood up, but didn't back away. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I know for a fact that he doesn't mean it. He's blaming himself for what happened to Quat." The Irishman turned toward him, eyes pleading. "Find him for me? For Duo, and for Trowa? Get him back here where he belongs." Heero narrowed his eyes.

"And you are?"

"Liam. I've known the two of them for two years, now. They're like my brothers. They tell me a lot-don't worry, with the exception of what happened to Quat, I don't know anything about the Preventers. I knew how Quat felt about Trowa, and I know how Duo feels about you." Heero turned back to watch the paramedics load Duo into the ambulance. "Just give him time to recover. Help him realize that it's not his fault, and he'll come around. Once he does, he'll stop pushing you away." Heero nodded and noticed for the first time a disgusting looking man with his hands bound sitting under observation in the corner.

"That him?" Heero pointed. Liam nodded.

"That's the arse." Heero moved over toward the brute, Liam following close behind. He walked slowly up to Duo's attacker and pulled him to his feet. The man guarding the brute stood up as well. "Scott, this is Heero." Liam told the doorman. Scott nodded and moved away. Heero looked the brute up and down before snarling. He pulled his fist back and launched it at the asshole's face. The brute tumbled backward from the force of his punch, blood coursing down his face. Heero spun around, burying his heel into the asshole's neck, a surprised grunt being the last sound heard from him.

"Don't fuck with Duo again. If you do, I won't be so lenient." Heero turned away, leaving an impressed Liam following in his wake.

"I definitely don't wanna be on your bad side."

"Hn." He walked out of the bar and caught a taxi to the hospital.

______________________________

Duo hadn't said one word since he had picked him up from the hospital. The doctors had insisted on an overnight stay, and had insisted that Heero go home. When he returned in the morning, Duo had remained silent while he filled out the releasing paperwork.

He wheeled Duo out to his car and helped the strangely silent man into the front seat. He thanked the nurse, rolling the wheelchair to her and moved around to the driver's side door. He slid into his car and placed it in gear.

"I'm taking you home to get you showered, feed and rested." He thought the prospect of freshly washed hair and food would elicit something from Duo, but he just stared out of the window. Heero sighed and drove in silence to Duo's apartment. He parked just outside Duo's building. He hopped out and helped Duo out of the car. He helped Duo into his apartment and waited while Duo got ready for a shower.

"You know what, Yuy?" Duo stood in the door to his bedroom, clad only in his boxers and socks. "I don't want you around. You want me to take a shower? Fine. But get the hell out of my house, and stay the fuck away from me." Heero stood, shocked, while Duo continued. "I've lost too many people. I don't want to lose you, too. At least this way, I'll know that you are alive. So, please. Just go, and don't come back." Heero began to argue when Duo turned his back and slammed the bedroom door, killing Heero's hope. He turned dejectedly and left the apartment-left Duo. He closed the door behind him, and trying desperately to hold back tears, got into his car and drove away.

He drove through town, not seeing the traffic around him, staring at the world through tear-blurred vision. Duo didn't want him. Didn't want anything to do with him. Liam's words came back to him, but were pushed roughly aside by Duo's harsh words. Duo didn't want him-not even as a friend. Heero began to sob, unable to control his sorrow. He pulled up to HQ and parked his car in front. He sat there in pained silence, trying to compose himself. With a wild cry, he slammed his fist into the steering wheel, the horn sounding and scaring a couple passer-bys. He jumped out of his car and rushed into HQ, yanking out his phone to dial Trowa. Hopefully he was finished with his mission and could talk. The phone continued to ring before Trowa's voicemail picked up. Damnit!

"Heero." He barely looked up at Lady Une. He didn't want to talk to her. "I wish-"

"I don't care."

"He's dead, isn't he." Heero rounded on her.

"Thank God Trowa isn't here to hear you say that. Do you know what that would do to him? It would kill him." Une looked shocked at Heero's outburst. The employee traffic through the lobby slowed and quieted down, but continued to move at Hero's glare. He controlled his voice. "All Trowa has right now is hope. If you don't have hope, how is he? You are our leader, Lady. If you can't be optimistic and lead us, then how are we supposed to have hope?"

"I-"

"If you can't keep up hope that we will find Quatre alive, then how do you expect to give us orders and missions to find him? If you can't keep us searching for him, we will lose hope, and if we lose hope, you will lose more than just Quatre. You will lose Trowa from grief for his lover. You will lose Duo from grief for his best friend as well as depression for his self-inflicted betrayal. That leaves you with half of your Gundam pilots, and I can guarantee that if you lose Duo, you will lose me. That leaves only Zechs and Wufei. Wufei lost his entire clan once; do you really think that he'll be able to handle losing his adoptive clan? Because that's what he thinks of us. And without Wufei, you'll lose Sally and Zechs. Noin will follow Zechs shortly thereafter. Do you really think that you can fight this war without us? If all of us pilots are gone, do you really think that the other Preventers will be able to fight? Do you think that the world will continue on in peace?" He paused for a breath. "I might be placing more importance on us pilots than we deserve, but look at how the people reacted to us after the war and the Eve Wars. I walk down the street to this day, and people compare themselves to us. I overhear mothers telling their sons to look up to us, after all, if five impossibly young boys could free the Colonies and restore peace, their sons can pass the math test, or can graduate from high school, or can ask the girl of their dreams on a date." His phone rang, and he angrily answered it.

"Heero? I couldn't find him."

"Trowa!"

"Can you help me?"

"Where are you? What's wrong?" What happened?" Oh, God. Don't let it be too late.

"I'm hurt, and my suit sustained too much damage, and has no fuel anyway…" Trowa trailed off.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know. I concealed my suit about five miles due east of my position, and I'm at a truck stop." Heero knew that he could use Wing to find Heavyarms, as long as Heavyarms still had battery power.

"What about battery?"

"Should still be good. Can you come get me?" Trowa sounded like a lost kid. "I don't want to be alone."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks."

"No prob." Heero put his phone away and turned back to Une. "I have to go get Trowa."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Not in immediate danger, but I need to get to him soon. Just do me a favor, Lady. Don't give up hope, if only for our sake. Don't knock over that first Domino. Don't let Trowa give up hope. I don't want him to be like I used to be."

"What do you mean?"

"In the war. I didn't have anything to go home too. If I lived, so what. If I died, who cared? All of us pilots were like that, even Quatre, to a certain extent. Now, Wufei has Sally, I have Duo, and Trowa has Quatre." Heero's voice caught. He could feel tears forming in his eyes. "If we don't have any reason to come home, we won't. We'll die needlessly in battle. If Trowa gives up hope, he will sacrifice himself unnecessarily. Don't let that happen." Une nodded.

"I won't give up hope." Heero turned and walked away from her, breaking into a run. Hopping in his car and speeding off to the hanger where Wing was docked, Heero dug out his phone and called Wufei.

"Wufei, I need a favor from you."

"Sure, what's up?"

"I took Duo home and got him to take a shower. Could either you or Sally check up on him and make sure that he eats and gets some sleep?"

"Sure. Why not you, though?"

"I have to find Trowa."

"Trouble?"

"No danger."

"Okay. Hurry. I'll check on Duo."

"Thanks." Heero turned into the hanger and drove toward Wing.

______________________________

Duo let the steaming water rush over him. He leaned his forehead up against the tiled wall.

I'm a murderer.

He broke into sobs. I'm a murderer and I sent Heero away. He shut the water off and stepped out of the tub. He swiped a hand across the glass of the mirror and looked at himself in the steamy mirror.

Murderer.

First Solo. Then Father Maxwell and Sister Helan. Plus all of the other orphans at Maxwell's Church. Next, all of the people he killed in the war. And now…Quatre. He punched his reflection, sharp shards of mirrored glass sticking in his fist. He barely spared them a glance. He stepped out of his bathroom.

Killer.

He left. He could've gotten Quatre out of there, but he didn't. He left his best friend to die instead. Some friend he was. Everyone who got close to him was dead. Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helan, and Quatre. Who was next? Heero? He shuddered at the thought. No. I won't kill Heero. I won't kill anyone else.

He won't hurt anyone else. He re-entered the bathroom, reaching for his razor and studying it. He threw it violently across the small bathroom. It shattered against the wall. He stalked to the kitchen.

The God of Death won't take anyone else. He flung open the drawers, scattering their contents over the linoleum floor. His fingers curled around a steak knife. He held it close to his face. If he died, then he couldn't hurt anyone else. If he died, he couldn't betray anyone else. If he went to Hell…

His would be the last soul Shinigami took.

He used the knife to tear through his flesh, dragging a line up the inside of his forearm.

Shinigami won't be allowed to take anyone else. Just him, and no one else.

He brought his hands to his face, dropping the knife into the growing pool of blood. He sank to his knees shivering and crying.

No more.

He floated into oblivion.

______________________________

Sally and Wufei pulled up to Duo's apartment. They were going to take Duo out to eat and then tuck him into bed and read him a bedtime story if that's what it took to get him to fall asleep. He crawled out of the car and went around to open Sally's door. He threaded his fingers through hers and they ascended the stairs. Heero had told him that he had left Duo's door unlocked. Most likely, Duo would be too out of it to notice. They approached the door and entered in the unlocked apartment. Wufei looked around for Duo while Sally went to the kitchen to grab a soda. He moved toward the bedroom hoping to find Duo asleep.

"Oh God. Duo!" He heard Sally's cry from the kitchen and he rushed in to find her wrapping a hand towel around his arm. She looked up at him as he entered. "He slit his wrist. I don't know how much blood he's lost, he's out cold." Wufei looked at Duo's naked body and pooling blood. He saw the blood-covered knife laying across the kitchen. He got up and grabbed a sheet from Duo's closet. He returned and wrapped the American up.

"Hospital." He picked Duo up at Sally's nod of agreement. They rushed outside. She climbed in the back with Duo while he sped toward the hospital. Oh please. Let Duo be okay. He sped up.

They bounced into the hospital drive, Sally trying to stop the bloodflow. He pulled up to the ER and jumped out. They ran inside, Duo clutched protectively in his arms as the ER staff converged on them and Sally barked out instructions and information.