Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Fallen ❯ Ch 9 ( Chapter 9 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: lissabeth 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.24.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 365 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.24.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 365 | Status: Work In Progress
Hey everyone. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I hope I still have a fan left out there to read it. Sorry about it being short. I had massive problems with this part. Writers block or something. Well any way I hope you enjoy. Ja.
Ch. 9
After Heero had cried himself to sleep, Wufei went out to join the others. None were really surprised to see him alone. He sat down beside Duo. "Maybe after dinner he'll feel up to opening presents. I would like to wait for him." he said sadly.
"How is he?" Quatre asked.
"Well he was very tired, he's asleep right now." He chose to leave out the painful scene of watching the tears that brought the Japanese teen to sleep.
Heero woke up slightly disoriented. "What?" he said aloud and then everything came crashing back. Tears came to his eyes and he pushed them back. Everything was so unfamiliar, even his own body. He longed for the sanctuary of his apartment. 'Hiding is what I've become best at after all.' He thought. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.
"Come in." he said.
Duo came in and shut the door behind him. "Hey buddy. It's almost dinner time. You wanna come out?" he asked with a hopeful look in his violet eyes.
Heero couldn't help but notice the difference in those eyes. The eyes that were once so full of mischief and playfulness were now more subdued and serious. How much had they gone through for him? He owed them more than he could ever return.
"Ok." He said and watched how happy it made Duo he couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips.
Once out with everyone in the dinning room though, he began to feel nervous for some reason. Pushing the feeling aside, he joined in with the dinner conversation and the festivities of unwrapping presents afterwards. By the time they were done, he was already exhausted again. Duo noticed this and called it an early evening. He noticed how tense Heero had been all night, and that didn't change while he was getting him ready for bed.
"Are you ok?" he asked after he had gotten Heero in bed.
Heero looked to Duo with tired eyes. "I guess I'm as well as I can be. It's just going to take me a while before I can get up to full speed again." He said then looked down. 'If I ever get up again.' His melancholy shown in every gesture and move he made.
Duo leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Heero. "I know I can't say I understand. And I can't say it will be alright. But if you need or want to talk then I'm here. I'll always be here for you ok?" he said.
"Yeah I know. I'm fine really. I just need to get some sleep ok?" he said trying to be convincing.
Duo just nodded his head and got up to go. "Goodnight Heero."
"Goodnight Duo."
Once he was alone again, he just sat there. Tired as he was there was just too much going through his mind to let him sleep. He laid there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. He ran one hand along his upper arm, feeling it smooth brought his attention away from the ceiling. He looked at all the small scars that were fading with some what a feeling of loss. Cutting had been a constant almost a reassuring feeling that he was alive in some ways. Sighing he pulled his hand away and finally fell to sleep.
The next morning Wufei was cooking breakfast when a crash caused him to run out of the kitchen and head to Heero's room. Duo was running down the steps and was right behind Wufei when he got to the bedroom door. He ran in a saw Heero on the floor and the wheelchair tipped over. He went to help but was brought up short when he saw blue eyes. There was nothing in them it was almost like looking at the pilot of Wing back during the war.
"Heero?" he hesitantly questioned.
"I don't need any help. I have to be able to do this on my own." Came the gruff reply.
He looked to Duo for help but the same question of what to do was written all over the other teens face as well. Then Duo stepped past Wufei and walked over to the mess.
"Heero, I'm going to pick you up and put you in the chair." He said sternly.
"Back off Duo, I can handle this." He said putting all his effort into trying to get the chair back up right again.
Duo sighed. "Ok fine, but at least let me just set the chair up for you."
"Fine."
After the chair was sitting right again, Heero pulled himself into painfully. He looked any where but at the two of them.
"Look at me Heero." Duo said gently. When there was no response he knelt down in front of the chair and put his hand under Heero's chin to make him look at him. "We are here to help. Don't shut us out. Let us help you." he pleaded.
Wufei was a Duo's side by this point. "You've done so much for us in the past, Heero. Now let us help you." he was almost pleading.
Heero didn't know what to say. He couldn't help feeling out of place and in need of being alone. The feeling of needing his razor was overwhelming. "Can I go to my place and get a few things?"
The quick change of subject confused the two so much it took them a while to answer. Duo was the first to find his voice. "Sure. When would you like to go?"
"Today, if that's possible." He said softly.
"That should be fine. We can go right after breakfast if you'd like." Duo said.
"Ok."
They made it to the apartment about an hour and a half later. Wufei was pushing Heero through the door. "Do you need any help?" he asked.
"No. I'm just going to grab some things out of the bedroom. I'll be right back." He said pushing himself towards the bedroom. "There might be something worth drinking in the kitchen if you want to check. I'm sure there's bottled water in there." He said before he went in a closed the door. The two left in the living room headed toward the kitchen to find something to drink.
Heero sighed once the door was shut. He headed to the bathroom to grab the first thing he thought was on the list of important things he needed. His blade he used for cutting. Then going back out, he got his things together and hid the blade in them. Then headed back out to where Duo and Wufei were waiting.
Sitting in his room back at the house he reached under the mattress to where he had the blade hidden. Not a very safe place to hide it but it was the best he could come up with and still keep it in reach. It was late and everyone else was asleep but once again he was still awake with his thoughts. "So what am I suppose to do now. Just sit back and watch life go by." He laughed a little sad laugh. Wing was lying on the bed beside him. "They say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity." He said to the almost asleep puppy. "I just don't know what to do. I know I have to get out of this damn state of feeling sorry for myself. Damn it I was supposed to die on that mission. I wasn't supposed to make it. I don't know how to live or maybe I just don't know how to die. I've been on the verge so many times. But it never happens. I guess I have incredible luck. But is it good luck or bad. Well in a sense it's good because I don't die but that's also why it's bad." He paused in his musing to lift up his shirt sleeve and began to pull the blade across his skin. Feeling the familiar pain gave him a sense of peace. Watching the light trail of blood forming on his upper arm he clenched his jaw in anger. Would life ever change? Would he ever feel happy, truly happy? Would he ever get over this petty obsession? All these questions and more ran through his mind until sleep claimed him.
Wufei woke up and looked to the clock. 8 A.M. "Duo." He said as he shook the others shoulder lightly. "You're turn to get breakfast ready." He said as he turned to get out of bed. Grabbing his robe on the way out, he turned to make sure that Duo was actually up before he headed down the stairs to Heero's room.
Opening the door quietly, so as not to disturb Heero too soon, he crept into the room. Wing barely opened his eyes and then whimpered as if he was telling Wufei to get lost.
"Come here boy." He whispered. "Let's get you outside before you mess up the bed." Something caught his eye before he got the dog off the bed. He turned to look up and saw that it was something on Heero's shirt. Leaning in slightly to get a better look, he gasped as he realized what it was. Then he hurried and got out of the room with Wing. He let, the now awake, dog out and went into the kitchen. Seeing Duo he threw himself into his arms holding on for all he was worth.
"'Fei baby, what's wrong?" Duo asked worriedly as Wufei began to cry uncontrollably into his shirt.
"He's doing it again, Duo." Wufei said silently.
Duo didn't understand. "What?" he asked
Wufei straightened himself up and looked into his lovers eyes. "His shirt sleeve has blood on it Duo." He said tears coming down his face.
What ever reaction he had expected Duo to have this was not what he expected. A flame burned in his violet eyes and he jumped up. "Fuck. Hell no. Not in this house." Duo ranted on his way out of the kitchen. Wufei followed him as he went to Heeros' room. He saw Duo bang into the room making so much noise he was sure it woke the teen in bed instantly. Sure enough, when he turned into the room he saw Heero had fallen off the bed jumping from the loud way he was woken.
Wufei's eyes widened at the venom in his loves eyes. "Duo…" he stopped and decided to let the scene play out.
Heero laid in the floor looking very confused at first and then extremely pissed. "What the hell's your problem?" he asked.
"My problem? What the hell is My Problem?!" he yelled. He reached forward and grabbed Heeros arm. Seeing him wince and try to pull away he lifted up the shirt sleeve. "That is my problem! We have gone through hell and back to get you back to us. Watched over you, took care of you, and lived our lives for you even when you couldn't see and you have the nerve to do this." He was pissed.
"It's none of your business." Heero said in a calm voice void of emotion.
"Don't you pull that shit on me, Yuy. Don't you dare shut off you emotions on me!" He said slapping Heero in the face.
Heero looked at him horrified. "What…"
"That was for scaring the shit out of me. Don't you know that you're worth way too much to the just waste your life away like this." His voice and body were shaking. "And don't you dare get that look on your face. You are. You're worth so much to me. To us, me and Wufei both. And you would dare to take all of our hard work of taking care of you to pull this shit!" his voice was raising again.
Wufei just stood back having no idea what to do. He noticed the fear in the violet eyes shining through more than anger and wondered if Heero could see that too.
"Heero, don't take this the wrong way, but get over this damn pity-party and open up." He saw that Heero was about to say something and he raised his hand in a gesture that said for him to stay quiet. "Look…" he paused and looked to Wufei, "Come here 'Fei." Once Wufei had reached his side he grabbed his hand and then reached down and picked up Heeros hand and put it between their hands. "We didn't go through all this just for you Heero. Yes we were also being selfish. We went through all of that because we wanted you in our life. We want you with us. We both love you." he paused to see if Heero was getting any of this. Then went finished what he was saying. "We are both in love with you."
Heero looked to Wufei to see if the Duo was telling the truth. What he saw in those almost black eyes proved that he was.
Wufei still felt the need to voice it though. "Yes, Heero, it's true. I'm in love with you too."
"Can I be alone for a minute?" Heero asked quietly not trusting his voice.
Wufei looked to Duo. "Yeah that shouldn't be a problem. But first," Duo held out his hand. "Give it to me Heero." he said.
Heero looked at him then nodded towards the bed. "In between the mattresses."
Duo got the blade and then turned to Heero. "Ok let's get you off the floor first. Do you want to get into bed or the chair?" he asked.
"The chair please, I'll come out in a few minutes." He said.
"Ok." Duo said picking him up and putting him in the chair. He was about to say more when Heero cut him off.
"I'll be out in a minute and we can talk then." He said.
"Ok." Then the two left Heero to his thoughts.
Sitting in front of the window, he looked out not really knowing what to think. 'They love me. They're in love with me.' He felt a smile tug at his lips and then it drained into a frown before it could even form. 'Oh my god. What have I done? How do I fix this?' he held his hand up to his face where Duo had slapped him. 'He is pretty pissed at me. But sitting here running my thoughts in circles will get me no where.' So he went out to find Duo and Wufei to see how he could repair this damage, even though he was scared shitless.
Tbc…
Ch. 9
After Heero had cried himself to sleep, Wufei went out to join the others. None were really surprised to see him alone. He sat down beside Duo. "Maybe after dinner he'll feel up to opening presents. I would like to wait for him." he said sadly.
"How is he?" Quatre asked.
"Well he was very tired, he's asleep right now." He chose to leave out the painful scene of watching the tears that brought the Japanese teen to sleep.
Heero woke up slightly disoriented. "What?" he said aloud and then everything came crashing back. Tears came to his eyes and he pushed them back. Everything was so unfamiliar, even his own body. He longed for the sanctuary of his apartment. 'Hiding is what I've become best at after all.' He thought. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.
"Come in." he said.
Duo came in and shut the door behind him. "Hey buddy. It's almost dinner time. You wanna come out?" he asked with a hopeful look in his violet eyes.
Heero couldn't help but notice the difference in those eyes. The eyes that were once so full of mischief and playfulness were now more subdued and serious. How much had they gone through for him? He owed them more than he could ever return.
"Ok." He said and watched how happy it made Duo he couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips.
Once out with everyone in the dinning room though, he began to feel nervous for some reason. Pushing the feeling aside, he joined in with the dinner conversation and the festivities of unwrapping presents afterwards. By the time they were done, he was already exhausted again. Duo noticed this and called it an early evening. He noticed how tense Heero had been all night, and that didn't change while he was getting him ready for bed.
"Are you ok?" he asked after he had gotten Heero in bed.
Heero looked to Duo with tired eyes. "I guess I'm as well as I can be. It's just going to take me a while before I can get up to full speed again." He said then looked down. 'If I ever get up again.' His melancholy shown in every gesture and move he made.
Duo leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Heero. "I know I can't say I understand. And I can't say it will be alright. But if you need or want to talk then I'm here. I'll always be here for you ok?" he said.
"Yeah I know. I'm fine really. I just need to get some sleep ok?" he said trying to be convincing.
Duo just nodded his head and got up to go. "Goodnight Heero."
"Goodnight Duo."
Once he was alone again, he just sat there. Tired as he was there was just too much going through his mind to let him sleep. He laid there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. He ran one hand along his upper arm, feeling it smooth brought his attention away from the ceiling. He looked at all the small scars that were fading with some what a feeling of loss. Cutting had been a constant almost a reassuring feeling that he was alive in some ways. Sighing he pulled his hand away and finally fell to sleep.
The next morning Wufei was cooking breakfast when a crash caused him to run out of the kitchen and head to Heero's room. Duo was running down the steps and was right behind Wufei when he got to the bedroom door. He ran in a saw Heero on the floor and the wheelchair tipped over. He went to help but was brought up short when he saw blue eyes. There was nothing in them it was almost like looking at the pilot of Wing back during the war.
"Heero?" he hesitantly questioned.
"I don't need any help. I have to be able to do this on my own." Came the gruff reply.
He looked to Duo for help but the same question of what to do was written all over the other teens face as well. Then Duo stepped past Wufei and walked over to the mess.
"Heero, I'm going to pick you up and put you in the chair." He said sternly.
"Back off Duo, I can handle this." He said putting all his effort into trying to get the chair back up right again.
Duo sighed. "Ok fine, but at least let me just set the chair up for you."
"Fine."
After the chair was sitting right again, Heero pulled himself into painfully. He looked any where but at the two of them.
"Look at me Heero." Duo said gently. When there was no response he knelt down in front of the chair and put his hand under Heero's chin to make him look at him. "We are here to help. Don't shut us out. Let us help you." he pleaded.
Wufei was a Duo's side by this point. "You've done so much for us in the past, Heero. Now let us help you." he was almost pleading.
Heero didn't know what to say. He couldn't help feeling out of place and in need of being alone. The feeling of needing his razor was overwhelming. "Can I go to my place and get a few things?"
The quick change of subject confused the two so much it took them a while to answer. Duo was the first to find his voice. "Sure. When would you like to go?"
"Today, if that's possible." He said softly.
"That should be fine. We can go right after breakfast if you'd like." Duo said.
"Ok."
They made it to the apartment about an hour and a half later. Wufei was pushing Heero through the door. "Do you need any help?" he asked.
"No. I'm just going to grab some things out of the bedroom. I'll be right back." He said pushing himself towards the bedroom. "There might be something worth drinking in the kitchen if you want to check. I'm sure there's bottled water in there." He said before he went in a closed the door. The two left in the living room headed toward the kitchen to find something to drink.
Heero sighed once the door was shut. He headed to the bathroom to grab the first thing he thought was on the list of important things he needed. His blade he used for cutting. Then going back out, he got his things together and hid the blade in them. Then headed back out to where Duo and Wufei were waiting.
Sitting in his room back at the house he reached under the mattress to where he had the blade hidden. Not a very safe place to hide it but it was the best he could come up with and still keep it in reach. It was late and everyone else was asleep but once again he was still awake with his thoughts. "So what am I suppose to do now. Just sit back and watch life go by." He laughed a little sad laugh. Wing was lying on the bed beside him. "They say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity." He said to the almost asleep puppy. "I just don't know what to do. I know I have to get out of this damn state of feeling sorry for myself. Damn it I was supposed to die on that mission. I wasn't supposed to make it. I don't know how to live or maybe I just don't know how to die. I've been on the verge so many times. But it never happens. I guess I have incredible luck. But is it good luck or bad. Well in a sense it's good because I don't die but that's also why it's bad." He paused in his musing to lift up his shirt sleeve and began to pull the blade across his skin. Feeling the familiar pain gave him a sense of peace. Watching the light trail of blood forming on his upper arm he clenched his jaw in anger. Would life ever change? Would he ever feel happy, truly happy? Would he ever get over this petty obsession? All these questions and more ran through his mind until sleep claimed him.
Wufei woke up and looked to the clock. 8 A.M. "Duo." He said as he shook the others shoulder lightly. "You're turn to get breakfast ready." He said as he turned to get out of bed. Grabbing his robe on the way out, he turned to make sure that Duo was actually up before he headed down the stairs to Heero's room.
Opening the door quietly, so as not to disturb Heero too soon, he crept into the room. Wing barely opened his eyes and then whimpered as if he was telling Wufei to get lost.
"Come here boy." He whispered. "Let's get you outside before you mess up the bed." Something caught his eye before he got the dog off the bed. He turned to look up and saw that it was something on Heero's shirt. Leaning in slightly to get a better look, he gasped as he realized what it was. Then he hurried and got out of the room with Wing. He let, the now awake, dog out and went into the kitchen. Seeing Duo he threw himself into his arms holding on for all he was worth.
"'Fei baby, what's wrong?" Duo asked worriedly as Wufei began to cry uncontrollably into his shirt.
"He's doing it again, Duo." Wufei said silently.
Duo didn't understand. "What?" he asked
Wufei straightened himself up and looked into his lovers eyes. "His shirt sleeve has blood on it Duo." He said tears coming down his face.
What ever reaction he had expected Duo to have this was not what he expected. A flame burned in his violet eyes and he jumped up. "Fuck. Hell no. Not in this house." Duo ranted on his way out of the kitchen. Wufei followed him as he went to Heeros' room. He saw Duo bang into the room making so much noise he was sure it woke the teen in bed instantly. Sure enough, when he turned into the room he saw Heero had fallen off the bed jumping from the loud way he was woken.
Wufei's eyes widened at the venom in his loves eyes. "Duo…" he stopped and decided to let the scene play out.
Heero laid in the floor looking very confused at first and then extremely pissed. "What the hell's your problem?" he asked.
"My problem? What the hell is My Problem?!" he yelled. He reached forward and grabbed Heeros arm. Seeing him wince and try to pull away he lifted up the shirt sleeve. "That is my problem! We have gone through hell and back to get you back to us. Watched over you, took care of you, and lived our lives for you even when you couldn't see and you have the nerve to do this." He was pissed.
"It's none of your business." Heero said in a calm voice void of emotion.
"Don't you pull that shit on me, Yuy. Don't you dare shut off you emotions on me!" He said slapping Heero in the face.
Heero looked at him horrified. "What…"
"That was for scaring the shit out of me. Don't you know that you're worth way too much to the just waste your life away like this." His voice and body were shaking. "And don't you dare get that look on your face. You are. You're worth so much to me. To us, me and Wufei both. And you would dare to take all of our hard work of taking care of you to pull this shit!" his voice was raising again.
Wufei just stood back having no idea what to do. He noticed the fear in the violet eyes shining through more than anger and wondered if Heero could see that too.
"Heero, don't take this the wrong way, but get over this damn pity-party and open up." He saw that Heero was about to say something and he raised his hand in a gesture that said for him to stay quiet. "Look…" he paused and looked to Wufei, "Come here 'Fei." Once Wufei had reached his side he grabbed his hand and then reached down and picked up Heeros hand and put it between their hands. "We didn't go through all this just for you Heero. Yes we were also being selfish. We went through all of that because we wanted you in our life. We want you with us. We both love you." he paused to see if Heero was getting any of this. Then went finished what he was saying. "We are both in love with you."
Heero looked to Wufei to see if the Duo was telling the truth. What he saw in those almost black eyes proved that he was.
Wufei still felt the need to voice it though. "Yes, Heero, it's true. I'm in love with you too."
"Can I be alone for a minute?" Heero asked quietly not trusting his voice.
Wufei looked to Duo. "Yeah that shouldn't be a problem. But first," Duo held out his hand. "Give it to me Heero." he said.
Heero looked at him then nodded towards the bed. "In between the mattresses."
Duo got the blade and then turned to Heero. "Ok let's get you off the floor first. Do you want to get into bed or the chair?" he asked.
"The chair please, I'll come out in a few minutes." He said.
"Ok." Duo said picking him up and putting him in the chair. He was about to say more when Heero cut him off.
"I'll be out in a minute and we can talk then." He said.
"Ok." Then the two left Heero to his thoughts.
Sitting in front of the window, he looked out not really knowing what to think. 'They love me. They're in love with me.' He felt a smile tug at his lips and then it drained into a frown before it could even form. 'Oh my god. What have I done? How do I fix this?' he held his hand up to his face where Duo had slapped him. 'He is pretty pissed at me. But sitting here running my thoughts in circles will get me no where.' So he went out to find Duo and Wufei to see how he could repair this damage, even though he was scared shitless.
Tbc…