Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Fate, Destiny and All That ❯ Fate, Destiny and All That ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.

Warnings/Genres: hinted at 1+2+1, sap, Duo POV, and a lil bit of everything else. Another one of my useless PWP-ish ficlets, I guess. ^_^;;

I downloaded Chibi Shi-Chan's 1+2 music video from her section at Shinigami and Wing. It made me all melancholy and teary. *sniff* But this story is more sappy than melancholy. I'm not sure why it turned out that way - I *tried* to make it angsty. Mission failure and all that. ^_^;;

Summary: Heero and Duo have a conversation about - you guessed it - fate, destiny and all that.

Sets: Sometime before the final battles, when the gw-boys have all arrived to Libra.

***

Fate, Destiny and All That by Maaya

***

It was close to night-cycle - the majority had already retired after a long and exhausting day of job, fret and silent downheartedness. The war had been going on for too long - something was going to happen soon to either stop it or make it worse than it had ever been. It was in the air - calm before the battle.

The entire crew had most likely not gone to sleep though - I was pretty sure Sally was still up and about, planning, plotting, ordering around people. Beside her was probably Noin, though just a stained mirror image of her former self, now a war torn and ancient soul, like the rest of us. What can I say? Welcome to the club.

I found myself wandering around aimlessly on one of the lower decks, searching for someone I could talk to and amazed at how little people I could see around. Only an occasional man or woman passed by, nodding a greeting before disappearing around a corner. But I could hear that person's steps clunk against the metal floor long afterwards. A feeling of isolation came to me, a black quiet filling my body until I couldn't take it anymore and escaped to the small room I had been assigned, company to be damned only I could find something to make noise with. Preferably a TV or radio. Or maybe I could tinker around with my transistor until it managed to find the nearest radio station? It was a cheap thing, made on earth and done only to catch radio-signals from there.

All five pilots had been assigned a private room - though I am not certain why. Maybe they thought we needed privacy to prepare ourselves before the battles. They were maybe right, to a certain degree. Too much quiet rots your brain out and makes you go crazy. Not pleasant.

The rooms I'd gotten had one of those small pads beside the door where one was supposed to type in the password, but I hadn't installed anything yet so I just pushed the `ok' button and the door slid open. It was a metal door, probably able to take bullets without breaking. I don't like that kind of doors - they need mechanism to work. If the electricity fails, then you're stuck for a long time. Just the thought of it always gives me claustrophobia.

Now deem by my surprise when I - who had expected to spend a boring evening fretting alone - was met by the sight of Heero sitting on the windowsill of the large window in my room, gazing out at something indefinable in the stars. His legs were drawn up to rest in one of the corners of the windowsill and his back was up straight, not having anything to lean against as the window frame was too big. It looked pretty uncomfortable, but when had Heero been one to think about comfort? I stopped in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

His gaze didn't avert. "It was quiet in my room."

"And you went here instead?" I wondered dumbly. Was I supposed to feel insulted that he thought of me when he wanted to go somewhere un-quiet, or honoured because he thought of me at all. But I wasn't about to ask that because he looked kind of . . . down. Subdued. He nodded wordlessly.

"I guess you've come to the right place." I muttered, stepped inside, and pushed on a button on the pad beside the door. He was still quiet, and I felt the need to fill the stillness with sound. Like I said, too much quiet rots your brain out. Even Heero knew this, or otherwise he wouldn't come here to be with me.

"Well, I've missed you, buddy." I confessed after a while, only half-teasing. He had gone to me when he thought something was too quiet . . . it was kind of sweet, really. We hadn't had time to talk much since . . . I didn't know when we last had time to talk with each other.

Walking into the room, I hesitated for a second before sitting down beside him on the sill. I didn't expect an answer to my confession, and admit feeling surprised when one arrived.

"I've missed your . . . talk." He muttered, a little embarrassed. I couldn't help but chuckle quietly at that.

"Only my talk, huh? Well, I guess it is better than nothing."

Heero's eyes were still glued to whatever he was seeing in the dark pits of space. "This will be over soon." He stated.

Well, he seemed to be in one of his deep moods. Or maybe he was just being sad, in his own little Heero way.

I sighed. "The war's been going on for so long, I can't believe it. But do you think there really is an end of fighting, Heero?"

"I . . . hope so. There is an end for everything."

Smiling at the logic that just screamed Heero-thinking, I lifted my feet until they were resting up on the corner of the windowsill where it began to go upwards, legs bent by the knees to have place. I was aware of that Heero was sitting in the same position, back to back with me. I leaned backwards with a sigh and used his as a support to hold me up.

He didn't protest, and we sat like that for a while, content to be near each other again, after such a long time away.

His warmth radiated through his tank top and reached my skin all the way through my own black garb. His body wasn't as cold as his manners, though his back was wiry and steely, giving the impression that it would be cold like a machine's. I yawned and leaned my head back so that it could rest against the back of his. "You know, I thought you really did die that day."

I wasn't sure why I said it, but it came to mind and felt like something very important. Neither of us needed clarification on what day I meant. I had never been as scared as that day he self-destructed for the sake of saving the colonies from Une's crazy plans.

My words were met by silence for a long time afterwards, and I thought he had decided to just ignore what I had said when he suddenly spoke up. His back `rumbled' a little when he did, and his head moved a little along with his jaw.

"I didn't expect to live."

"Oh." I honestly didn't know what I had been expecting him to answer, but this was so Heero-esque I almost smiled. But only almost, and if I had, it would have been a very, very melancholy smile. "Do you *ever* expect to live?"

"Don't know." He muttered, back vibrating calmly together with his words again, and I could trace a faint tone of . . . helplessness? in his voice. "Are we supposed to? To survive through the war?"

Now I did smile that melancholy smile thingy, despite the sad conversation subject. An actual discussion with Heero, where he asked for my opinion, was rare. I wondered what had brought this on, but attempted to make him understand his thoughts anyway. "Do you believe in fate, Heero?"

"Why?" He wondered. I could practically feel the confusion radiate from his back together with the warmth.

I squared my shoulders slightly and rested my whole weight against his back. He didn't even almost budge. Closing my eyes, I continued. "Fate and `supposed to' seem to walk hand in hand most of the time. Are we supposed to live through the war?" I mimicked his earlier question. "Are we *destined* to live through the war? So, do you believe in fate, destiny and all that?"

"I . . .no." I could tell he was still confused. So maybe my explanation had been somewhat . . . unclear.

"Do you believe in story-book endings?" I said then and searched a moment for a good example. "Do you believe that you'll survive, be the hero and marry the princess?"

It was quiet for a while as he mulled over that. "I'm not a hero."

Let it be known to the world - Heero is not someone to look for if you need help with a conversation. He's sometimes the most . . unhelpful person I've ever met. I think I sighed. "It was just an example. Do you believe that someone somewhere decides what'll happen in our future?"

"No."

"Do you believe that no matter what we do, it is will all lead to the same conclusion?"

"No." His answer was firm this time.

"Do you believe that-" I was running out of good examples. "-uuh, whatever. It doesn't seem as if you believe in fate."

"Seem?" His tone got just a little deeper, concealing something similar to amusement.

"Yeah," I grinned, but knew he wouldn't be able to see it. I played with the end of my braid lying on the windowsill beside me and directed my eyes to glance out of the window at the never ending space. "Because you believe that you have control over your actions, right?"

"Yes."

"I knew you'd be too practical to believe that." I smirked and lifted a hand to rest on my pushed-up knee, fingers drumming against the window glass idly - the glass that was the only thing between us and darkness. The moon had to be on the other side of Libra, because I couldn't seem to catch sight of it from here.

The pure stillness of space can still amaze me from time to time, even till this day. Endless black, creamy white stars… completely calm. It reminds me of Heero. It's the same dark silence and hidden secrets no one will ever hear about. "So tell me now; do you believe that we are *supposed* to live through the war?"

Pause. This was where he should blink in confusion, but of course, I was unable to see it and confirm if I was right or not. "It depends on the circumstances and what will happen."

"Now that's the Heero I know." I cheered. "You get an A in the `reach logical conclusions' class today, my man."

"Duo, what do *you* believe in?"

"Eh?" His sudden question subdued my cheer and left *me* to be the one to blink in confusion. "Don't know. You, I guess."

"Me?"

"Well, you're you. Nothing else. Steady. You-" I paused, hesitating and wondering whether or not I should say this. "-don't die."

Then it got completely quiet. I held my breath and endured the stony silence, nervous though I didn't know why. My glance averted itself away from the window and I lowered my head. His head, leaned against mine, followed backwards until I was sure he had to be staring up at the boring, all metal and soundproofed ceiling.

Finally, he spoke up, quietly so, but with a strange warmth I had never heard in his - scratch that - *any*one's voice before. At least not directed to me. "I thought you were the one that believed I really did die that day."

"But you didn't." I countered. "And after seeing you survive that bang, I'm willing to believe you'll survive everything and anything."

"Will you hope that I'll survive the war?"

I exhaled with a sigh. "Sure. Of course. Naturally so, actually. You're the one I like the most."

"Hm." He muttered, satisfied. He said nothing more, and I didn't either. But the quiet was companionable and we were content by staying like that, back against back, for a little while longer.

***

The End

***

Hmm - how many thinks that Heero was unfeeling when he said `I'll survive the war' and not `we'll survive the war'? Well, I just thought that it was he that needed the reassurance to hear that someone would hope for him, and I didn't want Heero to sprout out `I love you Duo and I'll for you to survive too!' That would have done this fic even cheesier than it already is.